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第27部分

四季随笔-the private papers of henry ryecroft(英文版)-第27部分


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enderness。 The dead; amid this leafy silence; seem to whisper encouragement to him whose fate yet lingers: As we are; so shalt thou be; and behold our quiet!
XIII
Many a time; when life went hard with me; I have betaken myself to the Stoics; and not all in vain。 Marcus Aurelius has often been one of my bedside books; I have read him in the night watches; when I could not sleep for misery; and when assuredly I could have read nothing else。 He did not remove my burden; his proofs of the vanity of earthly troubles availed me nothing; but there was a soothing harmony in his thought which partly lulled my mind; and the mere wish that I could find strength to emulate that high example (though I knew that I never should) was in itself a safeguard against the baser impulses of wretchedness。 I read him still; but with no turbid emotion; thinking rather of the man than of the philosophy; and holding his image dear in my heart of hearts。
Of course the intellectual assumption which makes his system untenable by the thinker of our time is: that we possess a knowledge of the absolute。 Noble is the belief that by exercise of his reason a man may enter into munion with that Rational Essence which is the soul of the world; but precisely because of our inability to find within ourselves any such sure and certain guidance do we of to…day accept the barren doom of scepticism。 Otherwise; the Stoic's sense of man's subordination in the universal scheme; and of the all…ruling destiny; brings him into touch with our own philosophical views; and his doctrine concerning the 〃sociable〃 nature of man; of the reciprocal obligations which exist between all who live; are entirely congenial to the better spirit of our day。 His fatalism is not mere resignation; one has not only to accept one's lot; whatever it is; as inevitable; but to accept it with joy; with praises。 Why are we here? For the same reason that has brought about the existence of a horse; or of a vine; to play the part allotted to us by Nature。 As it is within our power to understand the order of things; so are we capable of guiding ourselves in accordance therewith; the will; powerless over circumstance; is free to determine the habits of the soul。 The first duty is self…discipline; its correspondent first privilege is an inborn knowledge of the law of life。
But we are fronted by that persistent questioner who will accept no a priori assumption; however noble in its character and beneficent in its tendency。 How do we know that the reason of the Stoic is at harmony with the world's law? I; perhaps; may see life from a very different point of view; to me reason may dictate; not self…subdual; but self…indulgence; I may find in the free exercise of all my passions an existence far more consonant with what seems to me the dictate of Nature。 I am proud; Nature has made me so; let my pride assert itself to justification。 I am strong; let me put forth my strength; it is the destiny of the feeble to fall before me。 On the other hand; I am weak and I suffer; what avails a mere assertion that fate is just; to bring about my calm and glad acceptance of this down…trodden doom? Nay; for there is that within my soul which bids me revolt; and cry against the iniquity of some power I know not。 Granting that I am pelled to acknowledge a scheme of things which constrains me to this or that; whether I will or no; how can I be sure that wisdom or moral duty lies in acquiescence? Thus the unceasing questioner; to whom; indeed; there is no reply。 For our philosophy sees no longer a supreme sanction; and no longer hears a harmony of the universe。
〃He that is unjust is also impious。 For the Nature of the Universe; having made all reasonable creatures one for another; to the end that they should do one another good; more or less; according to the several persons and occasions; but in no wise hurt one another; it is manifest that he that doth transgress against this her will; is guilty of impiety towards the most ancient and venerable of all the Deities。〃 How gladly would I believe this! That injustice is impiety; and indeed the supreme impiety; I will hold with my last breath; but it were the merest affectation of a noble sentiment if I supported my faith by such a reasoning。 I see no single piece of strong testimony that justice is the law of the universe; I see suggestions incalculable tending to prove that it is not。 Rather must I apprehend that man; in some inconceivable way; may at his best moments represent a Principle darkly at strife with that which prevails throughout the world as known to us。 If the just man be in truth a worshipper of the most ancient of Deities; he must needs suppose; either that the object of his worship belongs to a fallen dynasty; or……what from of old has been his refuge……that the sacred fire which burns within him is an 〃evidence of things not seen。〃 What if I am incapable of either supposition? There remains the dignity of a hopeless cause……〃sed victa Catoni。〃 But how can there sound the hymn of praise?
〃That is best for everyone; which the mon Nature of all doth send unto everyone; and then is it best; when she doth send it。〃 The optimism of Necessity; and perhaps; the highest wisdom man can attain unto。 〃Remember that unto reasonable creatures only is it granted that they may willingly and freely submit。〃 No one could be more sensible than I of the persuasiveness of this high theme。 The words sing to me; and life is illumined with soft glory; like that of the autumn sunset yonder。 〃Consider how man's life is but for a very moment of time; and so depart meek and contented: even as if a ripe olive falling should praise the ground that bare her; and give thanks to the tree that begat her。〃 So would I fain think; when the moment es。 It is the mood of strenuous endeavour; but also the mood of rest。 Better than the calm of achieved indifference (if that; indeed; is possible to man); better than the ecstasy which contemns the travail of earth in contemplation of bliss to e。 But; by no effort attainable。 An influence of the unknown powers; a peace that falleth upon the soul like dew at evening。
XIV
I have had one of my savage headaches。 For a day and a night I was in blind torment。 Have at it; now; with the stoic remedy。 Sickness of the body is no evil。 With a little resolution and considering it as a natural issue of certain natural processes; pain may well be borne。 One's solace is; to remember that it cannot affect the soul; which partakes of the eternal nature。 This body is but as 〃the clothing; or the cottage; of the mind。〃 Let flesh be racked; I; the very I; will stand apart; lord of myself。
Meanwhile; memory; reason; every faculty of my intellectual part; is being whelmed in muddy oblivion。 Is the soul something other than the mind? If so; I have lost all consciousness of its existence。 For me; mind and soul are one; and; as I am too feelingly reminded; that element of my being is HERE; where the brain throbs and anguishes。 A little more of such suffering; and I were myself no longer; the body representing me would gesticulate and rave; but I should know nothing of its motives; its fantasies。 The very I; it is too plain; consists but with a certain balance of my physical elements; which we call health。 Even in the light beginnings of my headache; I was already not myself; my thoughts followed no normal course; and I was aware of the abnormality。 A few hours later; I was but a walking disease; my mind……if one could use the word……had bee a barrel…organ; grinding in endless repetition a bar or two of idle music。
What trust shall I repose in the soul that serves me thus? Just as much; one would say; as in the senses; through which I know all that I can know of the world in which I live; and which; for all I can tell; may deceive me even more grossly in their mon use than they do on certain occasions where I have power to test them; just as much; and no more……if I am right in concluding that mind and soul are merely subtle functions of body。 If I chance to bee deranged in certain parts of my physical mechanism; I shall straightway be deranged in my wits; and behold that Something in me which 〃partakes of the eternal〃 prompting me to pranks which savour little of the infinite wisdom。 Even

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