tg.wizardfirstrule-第181部分
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The spirits help him； he understood。
He brought it forth； let it cast everything in a white sheen。
…＋
Cradled numbly in the white haze of the magic； pearly in a trance； Richard pushed the door to Denna's quarters closed behind himself。 He calmly held the power； held the whiteness of it； held the joy and the sorrow of it。 The quiet room was lit by one lamp on the bedside table； giving the softly scented air a warm； flickering glow。 Denna sat pletely naked in the center of the bed。 Her legs were crossed； her braid undone； and her hair brushed out。 The Agiel was on a gold chain around her neck； hanging between her breasts。 Her hands lay nested in her lap。 She watched him with big； wistful eyes。
〃You have e to kill me； my love？〃 she whispered。
He nodded slowly； watching her。 〃Yes； Mistress。〃
She smiled a little。 〃That is the first time you have ever called me simply ‘Mistress。' You have always called me Mistress Denna； in the past。 It means something？〃
〃Yes。 It means everything； my mate。 It means I forgive you everything。〃 〃I have made myself ready。〃
〃Why are you naked？〃
The lamplight reflected in the wetness of her eyes。 〃Because everything I have to wear is Mord…Sith。 I have nothing else。 I did not wish to die in the clothes of a Mord…Sith。 I …wish to die as I was born。 Denna。 Nothing more。〃 。
〃I understand；〃 he whispered。 〃How did you know I was ing to kill you？〃
〃When Master Rahl chose me to go after you； he said he wouldn't order me to go； but that I must volunteer。 He said the prophecies foretold of a Seeker who would be the first to master the magic of the sword： the white magic。 That this one would cause the blade of the sword to turn white。 He said that if you turned out to be the one of whom the prophecies spoke； it would mean that I was to die by your hand； if you so chose。 I asked to be sent； to be your Mord…Sith。 Some of the things I have done to you； I have done to no other； in the hope you would be the one and kill me for it。 When you did what you did to the Princess； I suspected。 When you killed the two guards today； I knew。 You should not have been able to。 I was holding you by the sword's magic at the time。〃
Everything was white around the childlike beauty of her face。 〃I'm so sorry； Denna；〃 he whispered。
〃You will remember me？〃
〃I will have nightmares the rest of my life。〃
Her smile widened。 〃I'm glad。〃 She seemed genuinely proud。 〃You love this woman； Kahlan？〃
He frowned a little。 〃How do you know that？〃
〃Sometimes； when I hurt men enough； and they don't know what they're saying； they cry for their mothers； or their wives。 You cried for one named Kahlan。 You will choose her for your mate？〃
〃I cannot；〃 he said past the lump in his throat。 〃She is a Confessor。 Her power would destroy me。〃
〃I'm sorry。 This hurts you？〃
He nodded slowly。 〃More than anything you have done to me。〃
〃Good。〃 Denna smiled sadly。 〃I'm glad the one you love is able to give you more pain than was L〃 Richard knew that in her twisted way； Denna meant this as a fort to him； that for her to be happy that he would get more pain from another was a giving of her love。 He knew that Denna sometimes gave him pain to show that she cared for him。 In her eyes； at least； if this other woman could give him more pain； that was a demonstration of love。
A tear ran down his face。 What had they done to this poor child？
〃It is a different kind of pain。 None could be your equal in the things you have done。〃
A tear of pride rolled down her cheek。 〃Thank you； my love；〃 she breathed。 She took the Agiel from her neck and held it up hopefully。 〃Would you wear this； to remember me by？ It will not hurt you around your neck； or if you hold the chain； only if you hold the Agiel itself in your hand。〃
Richard held her face in the white glow。 〃It would be my honor； my mate。〃 He bent； letting her put it over his head； letting her give his cheek a kiss。
〃How will you do it？〃 she asked。
He knew what she meant。 He swallowed back the lump in his throat。 His hand went smoothly to the hilt of the sword。
Slowly； he drew the Sword of Truth。 It didn't ring； the way it always had in the past。
It hissed。 A white…hot hiss。
Richard didn't look； but he knew； knew the blade had turned white。 He held her wet eyes。 The power flooded through him。 He was at peace。 All anger； all hate； all malice； was gone。 Where he had felt these things from the sword before； he now felt only love for this child； this vessel into whom others had poured pain； this receptacle of cruelty； this innocent； tortured soul； who had been trained to do the things she hated above all else： hurting others。 His empathy with her made him ache with sorrow for her； with love for her。
〃Denna；〃 he whispered。 〃You could just let me go； there is no need to do this。 Please。 Let me go。 Don't make me have to do this。〃
She held her chin up。 〃If you try to leave； I will stop you with the pain of the magic； and make you sorry you have been trouble to me。 I am Mord…Sith。 I am your mistress。 I can be no more than who I am。 You can be no less； my mate。〃
He nodded sadly； and put the tip of the sword between her breasts； the tears in his eyes and the white glow making it difficult to see。
Denna gently took the tip of the sword and moved it up a few inches。 〃My heart is here； my love。〃
Holding the sword against her； he bent and put his left arm tenderly around her soft shoulders。 He held the power with all his strength as he kissed her cheek。
〃Richard；〃 she whispered； 〃I have never had a mate like you before。 I'm glad I will have no other。 You are a very rare person。 You are the only person since I was chosen who has cared that I was in pain； or done anything to stop it。 Thank you for last night； for teaching me what it could be like。〃
Tears dripped from his face。 He held her close。 〃Forgive me； my love。〃
She smiled。 〃Everything。 Thank you for calling me ‘my love。' It is good to hear it once in truth before I die。 Twist the sword； to be sure it is finished。 And Richard； please； take my last breath？ As I have taught you？ I wish you to have my last breath of life。〃
In a daze； he put his mouth over hers； kissing her； and didn't 。 even feel his right hand moving。 There was no resistance。 The sword went through her as if she were gossamer。 He felt his hand twist the sword； and he took； her last breath of life。
He laid her gently back on the bed； lay down next to her； and cried uncontrollably as he stroked her ashen face。
He grieved to undo what he had done
CHAPTER 44
IT WAS DEEP IN the night when he left Denna's quarters。 The halls were empty except for flickering shadows。 Richard's footsteps echoed from the polished stone floors and walls as he walked in a mournful daze； watching his shadow rotate around himself as he passed torches； feeling fort only at having his pack on his back once more； and to be leaving the People's Palace。 He didn't know where he was 'going； only that he was going to go away from here。
The pain of an Agiel in the small of his back slammed him to a halt； and brought sweat instantly to his face as he tried to take a breath； but couldn't。 Fire seared through his hips and legs。
〃Going somewhere？〃 came a ruthless whisper。
Constance。
His shaking hand struggled to reach his sword。 She laughed as she watched him。 A vision of giving her control of the magic； of the whole nightmare starting over again； flashed through his mind。 His hand backed away from the sword and kept the anger of the magic in check。 She came around to stand before him； her arm around him； holding the Agiel against his back； keeping his legs paralyzed。 She was wearing her red leather。
〃No？ Not ready to try to use the magic on me yet？ You will。 You will try before long； you will try to save yourself with it；〃 She smiled。 〃Save yourself the extra pain； use it now。 Maybe I will have mercy on you if you try it now。〃
Richard thought about all the ways Denna had given him pain； and how she had taught him to tolerate it； so she could giv
