brokeback mountain-第3部分

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　　〃If　nothin　better　es　along。　Thought　some　about　going　back　up　to　my　daddy's　place；　give　him　a　hand　over　the　winter；　then　maybe　head　out　for　Texas　in　the　spring。　If　the　draft　don't　get　me。〃〃Well；　see　you　around；　I　guess。〃　The　wind　tumbled　an　empty　feed　bag　down　the　street　until　it　fetched　up　under　his　truck。

　　〃Right；〃　said　Jack；　and　they　shook　hands；　hit　each　other　on　the　shoulder；　then　there　was　forty　feet　of　distance　between　them　and　nothing　to　do　but　drive　away　in　opposite　directions。　Within　a　mile　Ennis　felt　like　someone　was　pulling　his　guts　out　hand　over　hand　a　yard　at　a　time。　He　stopped　at　the　side　of　the　road　and；　in　the　whirling　new　snow；　tried　to　puke　but　nothing　came　up。　He　felt　about　as　bad　as　he　ever　had　and　it　took　a　long　time　for　the　feeling　to　wear　off。

　　In　December　Ennis　married　Alma　Beers　and　had　her　pregnant　by　mid…January。　He　picked　up　a　few　short…lived　ranch　jobs；　then　settled　in　as　a　wrangler　on　the　old　Elwood　Hi…Top　place　north　of　Lost　Cabin　in　Washakie　County。　He　was　still　working　there　in　September　when　Alma　Jr。；　as　he　called　his　daughter；　was　born　and　their　bedroom　was　full　of　the　smell　of　old　blood　and　milk　and　baby　****；　and　the　sounds　were　of　squalling　and　sucking　and　Alma's　sleepy　groans；　all　reassuring　of　fecundity　and　life's　continuance　to　one　who　worked　with　livestock。

　　When　the　Hi…Top　folded　they　moved　to　a　small　apartment　in　Riverton　up　over　a　laundry。　Ennis　got　on　the　highway　crew；　tolerating　it　but　working　weekends　at　the　Rafter　B　in　exchange　for　keeping　his　horses　out　there。　The　second　girl　was　born　and　Alma　wanted　to　stay　in　town　near　the　clinic　because　the　child　had　an　asthmatic　wheeze。

　　〃Ennis；　please；　no　more　damn　lonesome　ranches　for　us；〃　she　said；　sitting　on　his　lap；　wrapping　her　thin；　freckled　arms　around　him。　〃Let's　get　a　place　here　in　town？〃〃I　guess；〃　said　Ennis；　slipping　his　hand　up　her　blouse　sleeve　and　stirring　the　silky　armpit　hair；　then　easing　her　down；　fingers　moving　up　her　ribs　to　the　jelly　breast；　over　the　round　belly　and　knee　and　up　into　the　wet　gap　all　the　way　to　the　north　pole　or　the　equator　depending　which　way　you　thought　you　were　sailing；　working　at　it　until　she　shuddered　and　bucked　against　his　hand　and　he　rolled　her　over；　did　quickly　what　she　hated。　They　stayed　in　the　little　apartment　which　he　favored　because　it　could　be　left　at　any　time。

　　The　fourth　summer　since　Brokeback　Mountain　came　on　and　in　June　Ennis　had　a　general　delivery　letter　from　Jack　Twist；　the　first　sign　of　life　in　all　that　time。

　　Friend　this　letter　is　a　long　time　over　due。　Hope　you　get　it。　Heard　you　was　in　Riverton。　Im　ing　thru　on　the　24th；　thought　Id　stop　and　buy　you　a　beer　Drop　me　a　line　if　you　can；　say　if　your　there。

　　The　return　address　was　Childress；　Texas。　Ennis　wrote　back；　you　bet；　gave　the　Riverton　address。

　　The　day　was　hot　and　clear　in　the　morning；　but　by　noon　the　clouds　had　pushed　up　out　of　the　west　rolling　a　little　sultry　air　before　them。　Ennis；　wearing　his　best　shirt；　white　with　wide　black　stripes；　didn't　know　what　time　Jack　would　get　there　and　so　had　taken　the　day　off；　paced　back　and　forth；　looking　down　into　a　street　pale　with　dust。　Alma　was　saying　something　about　taking　his　friend　to　the　Knife　&　Fork　for　supper　instead　of　cooking　it　was　so　hot；　if　they　could　get　a　baby…sitter；　but　Ennis　said　more　likely　he'd　just　go　out　with　Jack　and　get　drunk。　Jack　was　not　a　restaurant　type；　he　said；　thinking　of　the　dirty　spoons　sticking　out　of　the　cans　of　cold　beans　balanced　on　the　log。

　　Late　in　the　afternoon；　thunder　growling；　that　same　old　green　pickup　rolled　in　and　he　saw　Jack　get　out　of　the　truck；　beat…up　Resistol　tilted　back。　A　hot　jolt　scalded　Ennis　and　he　was　out　on　the　landing　pulling　the　door　closed　behind　him。　Jack　took　the　stairs　two　and　two。　They　seized　each　other　by　the　shoulders；　hugged　mightily；　squeezing　the　breath　out　of　each　other；　saying；　son　of　a　*****；　son　of　a　*****；　then；　and　easily　as　the　right　key　turns　the　lock　tumblers；　their　mouths　came　together；　and　hard；　Jack's　big　teeth　bringing　blood；　his　hat　falling　to　the　floor；　stubble　rasping；　wet　saliva　welling；　and　the　door　opening　and　Alma　looking　out　for　a　few　seconds　at　Ennis's　straining　shoulders　and　shutting　the　door　again　and　still　they　clinched；　pressing　chest　and　groin　and　thigh　and　leg　together；　treading　on　each　other's　toes　until　they　pulled　apart　to　breathe　and　Ennis；　not　big　on　endearments；　said　what　he　said　to　his　horses　and　daughters；　little　darlin。

　　The　door　opened　again　a　few　inches　and　Alma　stood　in　the　narrow　light。

　　What　could　he　say？　〃Alma；　this　is　Jack　Twist；　Jack；　my　wife　Alma。〃　His　chest　was　heaving。　He　could　smell　Jack　　the　intensely　familiar　odor　of　cigarettes；　musky　sweat　and　a　faint　sweetness　like　grass；　and　with　it　the　rushing　cold　of　the　mountain。　〃Alma；〃　he　said；　〃Jack　and　me　ain't　seen　each　other　in　four　years。〃　As　if　it　were　a　reason。　He　was　glad　the　light　was　dim　on　the　landing　but　did　not　turn　away　from　her。

　　〃Sure　enough；〃　said　Alma　in　a　low　voice。　She　had　seen　what　she　had　seen。　Behind　her　in　the　room　lightning　lit　the　window　like　a　white　sheet　waving　and　the　baby　cried。

　　〃You　got　a　kid？〃　said　Jack。　His　shaking　hand　grazed　Ennis's　hand；　electrical　current　snapped　between　them。

　　〃Two　little　girls；〃　Ennis　said。　〃Alma　Jr。　and　Francine。　Love　them　to　pieces。〃　Alma's　mouth　twitched。

　　〃I　got　a　boy；〃　said　Jack。　〃Eight　months　old。　Tell　you　what；　I　married　a　cute　little　old　Texas　girl　down　in　Childress　　Lureen。〃　From　the　vibration　of　the　floorboard　on　which　they　both　stood　Ennis　could　feel　how　hard　Jack　was　shaking。

　　〃Alma；〃　he　said。　〃Jack　and　me　is　goin　out　and　get　a　drink。　Might　not　get　back　tonight；　we　get　drinkin　and　talkin。〃〃Sure　enough；〃　Alma　said；　taking　a　dollar　bill　from　her　pocket。　Ennis　guessed　she　was　going　to　ask　him　to　get　her　a　pack　of　cigarettes；　bring　him　back　sooner。

　　〃Please　to　meet　you；〃　said　Jack；　trembling　like　a　run…out　horse。

　　〃Ennis　　〃　said　Alma　in　her　misery　voice；　but　that　didn't　slow　him　down　on　the　stairs　and　he　called　back；　〃Alma；　you　want　smokes　there's　some　in　the　pocket　a　my　blue　shirt　in　the　bedroom。〃They　went　off　in　Jack's　truck；　bought　a　bottle　of　whiskey　and　within　twenty　minutes　were　in　the　Motel　Siesta　jouncing　a　bed。　A　few　handfuls　of　hail　rattled　against　the　window　followed　by　rain　and　slippery　wind　banging　the　unsecured　door　of　the　next　room　then　and　through　the　night。

　　The　room　stank　of　semen　and　smoke　and　sweat　and　whiskey；　of　old　carpet　and　sour　hay；　saddle　leather；　****　and　cheap　soap。　Ennis　lay　spread…eagled；　spent　and　wet；　breathing　deep；　still　half　tumescent；　Jack　blowing　forceful　cigarette　clouds　like　whale　spouts；　and　Jack　said；　〃Christ；　it　got　a　be　all　that　time　a　yours　ahorseback　makes　it　so　goddamn　good。　We　got　to　talk　about　this。　Swear　to　god　I　didn't　know　we　was　goin　a　get　into　this　again　　yeah；　I　did。　Why　I'm　here。　I　****in　knew　it。　Redlined　all　the　way；　couldn't　get　here　fast　enough。〃〃I　didn't　know　where　in　the　hell　you　was；〃　said　Ennis。　〃Four　years。　I　about　give　up　on　you。　I　figured　you　was　sore　about　that　punch。〃〃Friend；〃　said　Jack；　〃I　was　in　Texas　rodeoin。　How　I　met　Lureen。　Look　over　on　that　chair。〃On　the　back　of　the　soiled　orange　chair　he　saw　the　shine　of　a　buckle。　〃Bullridin？〃〃Yeah。　I　made　three　****in　thousand　dollars　that　year。　****in　starved。　Had　to　borrow　everthing　but　a　toothbrush　from　other　guys。　Drove　grooves　across　Texas。　Half　the　time　under　that　cunt　truck　fixin　it。　Anyway；　I　didn't　never　think　about　losin。　Lureen？　There's　some　serious　money　there。　Her　old　man's　got　it。　Got　this　farm　machinery　business。　Course　he　don't　let　her　have　none　a　the　money；　and　he　hates　my　****in　guts；　so　it's　a　hard　go　now　but　one　a　these　days　　〃〃Well；　you're　goin　a　go　where　you　look。　Army　didn't　get　you？〃　The　thunder　sounded　far　to　the　east；　moving　from　them　in　its　red　wreaths　of　light。

　　〃They　can't　get　no　use　out　a　me。　Got　some　crushed　vertebrates。　And　a　stress　fracture；　the　arm　bone　here；　you　know　how　bullridin　you're　always　leverin　it　off　your　thigh？　　she　gives　a　little　ever　time　you　do　it。　Even　if　you　tape　it　good　you　break　it　a　little　goddamn　bit　at　a　time。　Tell　you　what；　hurts　like　a　*****　afterwards。　Had　a　busted　leg。　Busted　in　three　places