elizabethpeters.thegoldenone-第63部分

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　〃Every　time　you　say　that；　something　disastrous　occurs；〃　I　exclaimed。
　〃Now；　Mother；　don't　exaggerate。　It　doesn't　always。〃　He　was　back　to　normal；　his　smile　broad　and　carefree；　but　the　concern　of　a　mother　informed　me　he　was　holding　something　back。
　〃What　other　orders　do　you　have？〃　I　asked。
　Emerson；　who　had　been　deep　in　thought；　looked　up。　〃Oh；　nothing　much；〃　he　said　sarcastically。　〃Scout　the　Turkish　defenses；　look　for　weak　points；　and　while　you're　at　it；　sound　out　the　governor　to　see　if　he　would　accept　a　bribe。〃
　〃Hold　your　fire；　Mother；　I've　no　intention　of　doing　anything　of　the　sort；〃　Ramses　said　quickly。　〃The　chaps　in　charge　still　labor　under　the　delusion　that　'Johnny　Turk'　is　a　white…livered　coward。　You'd　think　they'd　have　learned　better　after　Rafah　and　Gallipoli。〃
　〃But　the　military　mind　is　slow　to　accept　new　ideas；〃　I　agreed。　〃Are　they　planning　a　direct　assault　on　Gaza？〃
　〃I　have　not　been　taken　into　their　confidence；〃　Ramses　said　dryly。　〃I'd　bribe　the　damned　governor　if　I　could。　It　would　save　countless　lives。〃
　〃You　can't；〃　Emerson　said　positively。　〃Anyhow；　von　Kressenstein　is　the　one　in　mand　of　the　Gaza　defenses。　He'd　have　you　shot　if　you　offered　him　a　bribe。　Stick　to　your　primary　aim；　my　boy；　and　get　the　hell　out　of　Gaza　as　soon　as　you　can。〃
　〃Yes；　sir；〃　Ramses　said。
　〃When　do　you　leave？〃　Nefret　asked　steadily。
　〃It　will　take　a　while　to　make　the　necessary　arrangements；〃　Ramses　said。　She　gave　him　a　reproachful　look；　and　he　went　on；　〃I'm　not　being　deliberately　evasive；　dear。　I　need　to　learn　all　I　can　about　our　present　dispositions　in　south　Palestine　before　I　decide　on　the　best　way　of　getting　into　the　city。　Then　there's　the　little　matter　of　transport。　They've　pushed　the　rail　lines　as　far　as　Rafah；　but　most　of　the　traffic　is　military；　and　if　I　tried　to　pass　as　a　British　officer；　it　would　mean　being　subject　to　orders　from　people　who　didn't　know　who　I　was；　or　letting　too　many　military　types　in　on　the　secret。　I　don't　want　even　Cartright　to　know　my　plans：　I　politely　refused　several　of　his　suggestions。〃
　〃You　don't　trust　him？〃　I　asked。
　Ramses　began　pacing　restlessly　up　and　down　the　room。　〃I　don't　trust　any　of　the　bas　…　…　any　of　them。　I　still　don't　know　how　Bracegirdle…Boisdragon　fits　into　this；　he's　made　no　further　attempt　to　municate　with　us；　and　when　I　posed　a　carefully　phrased　question　to　Cartright；　he　stiffly　informed　me　that　I　was　taking　orders　from　him　and　no　one　else。〃
　〃It's　the　usual　interservice　rivalry；　as　I　said；〃　remarked　Emerson；　with　a　curling　lip。　〃They　keep　more　secrets　from　one　another　than　from　the　enemy。〃
　Ramses　shrugged。　He　had　said　all　he　was　going　to　say　on　the　subject。
　〃What　makes　them　suppose　Sethos　…　if　it　is　he　…　will　stay　in　Gaza？〃　I　asked。　〃Ramses；　you　won't　go　haring　off　to　Constantinople　or　Jerusalem　after　him？〃
　〃Even　if　he's　left　by　the　time　I　arrive；　there　will　be　news　of　him。　We'll　just　have　to　wait　and　see。〃
　He　was　being　deliberately　evasive　now；　and　we　all　knew　it。　He　was　right；　though；　it　was　impossible　to　plan　ahead。
　For　the　next　several　days　we　were　all　busy　about　our　different　affairs。　At　my　insistence；　we　kept　up　the　pretense　that　we　were　in　Cairo　for　personal　reasons　…　a　little　holiday　away　from　the　family；　the　need　to　do　a　little　research　at　the　Museum。　We　dined　out　every　evening；　at　one　of　the　hotels；　with　as　carefree　a　mien　as　we　could　manage；　and　if　Emerson　shouted　at　the　waiters　more　often　than　usual；　no　one　thought　anything　of　it。
　I　remember　one　of　those　evenings　with　a　particular　poignancy。　We　were　lingering　over　coffee　after　an　excellent　dinner　at　Shepheard's　and　listening　to　the　orchestra　render　a　selection　from　The　Merry　Widow。　Emerson　came　out　of　his　fog　of　frowning　introspection　when　he　heard　the　familiar　strains　of　the　waltz；　and　asked　if　I　would　like　to　dance。　I　pointed　out　to　him　that　the　dancing　had　not　yet　begun。　It　did　soon　thereafter；　and　several　couples　took　the　floor。　Emerson　asked　me　again；　and　I　pointed　out　to　him　that　the　tune　was　not　a　waltz。　It　was　another　of　the　ballads　that　had　bee　popular　in　the　past　few　years　…　the　kind　of　song　Ramses　had　once　described　as　tools　of　the　warmonger；　with　their　sentimental　references　to　love　and　duty　and　sacrifice。　I　knew　this　one　very　well。　Nefret　had　played　it　the　night　we　got　the　news　of　the　death　in　battle　of　our　beloved　nephew　Johnny。
　Ramses　rose　and　offered　Nefret　his　hand。　I　don't　know　what　had　moved　him　to　want　to　dance　to　that　song；　perhaps　the　memory　of　Johnny；　who　had　loved　music　and　gaiety　and　laughter；　perhaps　a　sudden　need　to　take　her　in　his　arms。　In　my　opinion　the　new　dances　were　not　nearly　so　pretty　as　the　waltz；　but　they　certainly　offered　the　opportunity　for　close　embraces。
　It　was　always　a　pleasure　to　watch　them　dance　together；　they　moved　with　such　matching　grace；　even　in　the　clumsy　（in　my　opinion）　two…step。　She　was　wearing　a　gown　of　pale　blue　voile　printed　with　little　flowers；　a　copy　of　a　favorite　garment　of　Ramses's　that　had　been　worn　to　shreds　and　discarded。　Her　skirts　floated　out　as　he　turned　her。
　My　sentimental　husband　cleared　his　throat　and　reached　for　my　hand。　There　was　no　need　for　speech；　we　were　both　thinking　the　same　thoughts：　of　Johnny；　only　one　of　the　millions　of　gallant　young　men　who　were　lost　forever；　and　of　another　young　man；　even　dearer；　who　was　about　to　disappear　into　the　dark　underworld　of　war。　Would　we　ever　see　our　children　dance　together　again？
　〃Yes；〃　I　said　emphatically。
　So　closely　attuned　are　my　dear　Emerson　and　I　（some　of　the　time）　that　he　required　no　explanation。　He　squeezed　my　hand。　〃Yes；〃　he　repeated。　〃How　are　your　arrangements　ing　along；　Peabody？〃
　〃Very　well。　And　yours？〃
　〃I　will　be　ready　when　the　time　es。〃
　　
　Ramses　was　in　and　out　at　odd　hours；　all　he　would　say；　when　I　questioned　him；　was　that　he　was　exploring　various　sources　of　information。　He　spent　a　good　deal　of　time　alone　with　Nefret。　I　did　not　begrudge　them　this；　but　I　could　not　help　asking　her；　one　morning　when　we　were　alone；　whether　he　had　told　her　anything　I　wasn't　supposed　to　know。
　〃If　I　had　promised　not　to　tell　you；　I　wouldn't；〃　she　said　with　a　smile　that　took　any　possible　sting　out　of　the　words。　〃But　there's　nothing。〃
　〃Are　you　all　right；　Nefret？〃
　〃Yes；　of　course。　Why　do　you　ask？〃
　〃You　are　too　calm。　More　than　calm　…　serene。　Misty…eyed。〃
　〃Good　Gad；　Mother！〃　She　burst　out　laughing。　〃You　do　have　a　way　with　words。　Perhaps　I've　bee　a　fatalist。　If　I　could　go　with　him　I　would；　but　I'm　beginning　to　realize　…　finally！　…　that　my　whining　and　my　clinging　only　make　it　harder　for　him。　There　are　some　dangers　one　must　face　alone。〃
　〃True；〃　I　said　thoughtfully。　〃However；　there　is　nothing　wrong　with　attempting　to　minimize　the　danger　if　one　can。〃
　〃You've　got　something　in　mind；　haven't　you？〃　She　looked　alarmed。　〃Mother；　don't　tell　me　unless　you　want　Ramses　to　know。　We　keep　nothing　from　one　another。〃
　〃And　quite　right；　too。　Perhaps　I　had　better　not；　then。　He　would　only　fuss。　Fear　not；　my　dear；　I　won't　do　anything　that　might　endanger　him。〃
　I　had　not　expected　Ramses　would　give　us　much　notice　of　his　departure；　so　I　went　ahead　with　my　own　schemes　as　quickly　as　was　possible。　Sure　enough；　my　son　turned　up　one　afternoon　in　time　for　tea；　with　the　news　that　he　would　be　leaving　immediately。
　〃There's　a　new　batch　of　Labour　Corps　'volunteers'　going　off　tomorrow。　I'll　stay　with　them　as　far　as　Rafah；　where　I　am　to　meet　Chetwode。〃
　At　the　beginning　of　the　war；　Britain　had　promised　the　Egyptians　they　would　not　be　asked　to　take　part　in　the　conflict。　That　promise；　like　so　many　others；　had　been　broken。　Some　of　the　poor　fellows　who　made　up　the　Labour　Corps　had　volunteered；　but　most　had　been　conscripted　by　local　magistrates　to　fill　their　quotas。　I　didn't　doubt　Ramses　could　blend　in　perfectly；　for　a　man　who　had　played　the　parts　of　beggars；　camel　drivers；　and　mad　dervishes；　a　peasant　from　Upper　Egypt　presented　no　difficulty。　It　sounded　like　a　very　unfortable　method　of　getting　where　he　wanted　to　go；　but　there　was　no　use　asking　Ramses　to　explain。
　〃Ah；〃　I　said。　〃In　that　case；　we　had　better　start　packing。〃
　Ramses　must　have　known　there　wasn't　a　hope　of　persuading　us　to　remain　in　Cairo；　but　he　tried。
　〃Mother；　too　many　people　already　know　about　this　supposedly　secret　expedit