jherbert.sepulchre-第77部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　Is　that　your　answer　to　me？　Quite　a　joke　really；　don't　think　I　don't　appreciate　it。
　　Even　funnier　if　it　was　something　more　than　that。　It　couldn't　be；　could　it　Lord；　that　he　came　at　my　own　invitation？　Surely　not。　That　would　be　nonsense；　too　perverse　for　words。　Yet　we　enjoy　perversity；　don't　we？　Well；　don't　we？　Constant　evil　can　be　wearing；　don't　you　agree？　But　I　tried；　I　did　my　best　for　you。　The　decades　were　so　long　though；　Bel…Marduk。　Surely　you；　above　all；　can　appreciate　that？　But　that　doesn't　mean　I'd　close　my　mind　to　my　own　impending　demise；　does　it？
　　Does　it？
　　DOES　IT？
　　No；　I　was　happy　with　the　task　you　set　me。　Evil　for　evil's　sake。　Harm　for　the　sake　of　doing　harm。　Corruption　for　you！　Entirely　for　YOU！
　　It　doesn't　hurt　yet。　What　Halloran　has　done　to　me　doesn't　hurt。　Not　yet。　And　it　shows　he　believes；　he　believes　in　you！　I　wonder　if　the　drugs　were　his　idea　of　mercy；　maybe　to　demonstrate　he　isn't　as　wicked　as　me。　He　seemed　to　understand；　though；　when　I　told　him　there　are　no　absolutes；　that　no　one…not　even　I…could　be　totally　evil。　Nor　totally　good。　Yes；　that　appeared　to　make　sense　to　him。　Perhaps　that　was　why　he　softened　my　pain　with　drugs；　perhaps　he'd　already　realised　that。
　　（And　was　that　imperfection　in　me　my　failing；　O　Lord？　Did　I　fail　because　I　was　not　perfectly　evil？　But　I　tried；　oh　I　tried。）　It　had　to　be　someone　like　him；　didn't　it？　The　other　Lord；　your　eternal　enemy；　had　to　send　someone　like　Halloran。　Someone　who　could　be　cruel；　someone　who　would　carry　it　through。　And　someone　who　might　seek　a　kind　of　redemption…shit；　how　I　detest　that　word！
　　And　I　was　the　one　who　told　him　how。　Should　I　be　laughing；　Bel…Marduk？　Are　you　disappointed　in　me；　will　l　be　punished　when　I　finally　succumb？　Or　will　we　laugh　together　throughout　eternity？
　　Ah！　A　twinge　of　pain　at　last！　Sweet　though；　very　sweet。　I　wonder　which　will　kill　me　first？　The　loss　of　blood　or　the　agony　when　the　drugs　wear　off？
　　At　least　I'm　not　lonely　here。　I　have　my　servants　around　me；　just　as　you　had　yours　in　the　secret　sepulchre；　their　lives　willingly　given　up　to　be　with　you　always。　But　my　servants　were　not　so　willing。　No；　they　gave　themselves　up　grudgingly。　Still；　their　reluctant　spirits　are　with　me　now。　Listen　how　they　whine。
　　Will　I　have　to　wait　as　long　as　you；　Dark　Lord；　before　my　body　is　discovered？　This；　my　own　sepulchre；　is　well　hidden；　as　was　yours；　and　I　don't　have　the　strength　to　call　others　to　it。　In　fact；　I　have　no　strength；　no　power；　at　all。　I'm　sure　Halloran　sealed　the　entrance　well；　and　no　one　would　hear　me　even　if　I　could　scream。
　　Aaaah！　Hurting！
　　And　it's　darker　now。　Are　the　candles　burning　low？　Will　I　be　left　on　this　altar　in　total　darkness；　unable　to　see；　unable　to　move　。　。　。
　　Spare　me　this　pain；　please　Lord。　Take　me　before　the　opiums　weaken。　Forgive　me　for　failing　you。
　　If　I　turn　my　head　I　can　see　the　knife　he　used　on　me。　Its　blade　is　rich　with　my　own　blood。　Isn't　it　funny；　Lord？　If　I　could　reach　it；　I　could　use　it　against　myself；　I　could　hurry　along　my　death。　But　see　there；　one　of　my　severed　arms　lying　in　a　puddle　next　to　it？　The　other　is　probably　close　by。　And　my　legs。　Where　are　they；　I　wonder？　It's　not　important。
　　Can　there　be　another　time　for　me；　O　Lord？
　　No。　Of　course　not。
　　What　good　is　my　limbless　form　to　you；　with　my　spirit　forever　entombed　inside；　my　body　now　my　soul's　own　sepulchre。　Say　you'll　forgive　me！
　　Darker　now。　Being　very　dim。　I　can　still　see　the　eyes　though；　those　huge　unblinking　eyes　watching　from　the　shadows。　They'll　watch　over　me　forever；　won't　they？
　　Even　when　the　darkness　is　plete；　they'll　still　be　there。
　　Watching　。　。　。







23