sk.petsematary-第28部分
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〃It can wait till tomorrow when we can see…〃
〃Does she love the cat?〃
〃Yes; but…〃 jud's voice; soft and somehow logical: 〃And do you love her?〃
Of course I love her; she s my dau… 〃Then e on。〃
Louis went。
Twice…maybe three times…on the walk up to the Pet Sematary that night Louis tried to talk to Jud; but Jud didn't answer。 Louis gave up。 That feeling of contentment; odd under the circumstances but a pure fact; persisted。 It seemed to e from everywhere。 The steady ache in his muscles from carrying Church in one hand and the shovel in the other was a part of it。 The wind; deadly cold; numbing exposed skin; was a part of it; it wound steadily in the trees。 Once they got into the woods; there was no snow to speak of。 The bobbing light of Jud's flash was a part of it。 He felt the pervasive; undeniable; magnetic presence of some secret。 Some dark secret。
The shadows fell away and there was a feeling of space。 Snow shone pallidly。
〃Rest here;〃 Jud said; and Louis set the bag down。 He wiped sweat off his forehead with his arm。 Rest here? But they were here。 He could see the markers in the moving; aimless sweep of Jud's light as Jud sat down in the thin snow and put his face between his arms。
〃Jud? Are you all right?〃
〃Fine。 Need to catch my breath a bit; that's all。〃
Louis sat down next to him and deep…breathed half a dozen times。
〃You know;〃 he said; 〃I feel better than I have in maybe six years。 I know that's a crazy thing to say when you're burying your daughter's cat; but it's the flat truth; Jud。 I feel good。〃
Jud breathed deeply once or twice himself。 〃Yeah; I know;〃 he said。 〃It is that way once in a while。 You don't pick your times for feeling good; any more than you do for the other。 And the place has something to do with it too; but you don't want to trust that。 Heroin makes dope addicts feel good when they're putting it in their arms; but all the time it's poisoning them。 Poisoning their bodies and poisoning their way of thinking。 This place can be like that; Louis; and don't you ever forget it。 I hope to God I'm doing right。 I think I am; but I can't be sure。 Sometimes my head gets muddled。 It's senility ing; I think。〃
〃I don't know what you're talking about。〃
〃This place has power; Louis。 Not so much here; but 。 。 。 the place we're going。〃
〃Jud…〃
〃e on;〃 Jud said and was on his feet again。 The flashlight's beam illuminated the deadfall。 Jud was walking toward it。 Louis suddenly remembered his episode of somnambulism。 What was it Pascow had said in the dream that had acpanied it?
Don't go beyond; no matter how much you feel you need to; Doctor。 The barrier was not made to be broken。
But now; tonight; that dream or warning or whatever it had been seemed years rather than months distant。 Louis felt fine and fey and alive; ready to cope with anything; and yet full of wonder。 It occurred to him that this was very much like a dream。
Then Jud turned toward him; the hood seeming to surround a blankness; and for one moment Louis imagined that it was Pascow himself who now stood before him; that the shining light would be reversed; trained on a grinning; gibbering skull framed in fur; and his fear returned like a dash of cold water。
〃Jud;〃 he said; 〃we can't climb over that。 We'll each break a leg and then probably freeze to death trying to get back。〃
〃Just follow me;〃 Jud said。 〃Follow me and don't look down。 Don't hesitate and don't look down。 I know the way through; but it has to be done quick and sure。〃
Louis began to think that perhaps it was a dream; that he had simply never awakened from his afternoon nap。 If I was awake; he thought; I'd no more head up that deadfall than I'd get drunk and go skydiving。 But I'm going to do it。 I really think I am。 So
I must be dreaming。 Right?
Jud angled slightly left; away from the center of the deadfall。 The flash's beam centered brightly on the jumbled heap of
(bones)
fallen trees and old logs。 The circle of light grew smaller and even brighter as they approached。 Without the slightest pause; without even a brief scan to assure himself that he was in the right place; Jud started up。 He did not scramble; he did not climb bent over; the way a man will climb a rocky hillside or a sandy slope。 He simply mounted; as if climbing a set of stairs。 He walked like a man who knows exactly where his next step is ing from。
Louis followed in the same way。
He did not look down or search for footholds。 It came to him with a strange but total surety that the deadfall could not harm him unless he allowed it to。 It was a piece of utter assholery of course; like the stupid confidence of a man who believes it's safe to drive when totally shitfaced as long as he's wearing his St。 Christopher's medallion。
But it worked;
There was no pistol…shot snap of an old branch giving way; no sickening plunge into a hole lined with jutting; weather…whitened splinters; each one ready to cut and gore and mangle。 His shoes
(Hush Puppy loafers…hardly remended for climbing dead…falls) did not slip on the old dry moss which had overgrown many of the fallen trees。 He pitched neither forward nor backward。 The wind sang wildly through the fir trees all around them。
For a moment he saw Jud standing on top of the deadfall; and then he began down the far side; calves dropping out of sight; then thighs; then hips and waist。 The light bounced randomly off the whipping branches of the trees on the other side of the barrier。 Yes; that's what it was…why try to pretend it wasn't? The barrier。
Louis reached the top himself and paused there momentarily; right foot planted on an old fallen tree that was canted up at a thirty…five…degree angle; left foot on something springier…a mesh of old fir branches? He didn't look down to see; but only switched the heavy trashbag with Church's body in it from his right hand to his left; exchanging it for the lighter shovel。 He turned his face up into the wind and felt it sweep past him in an endless current; lifting his hair。 It was so cold; so clean 。 。 。 so constant。
Moving casually; almost sauntering; he started down again。 Once a branch that felt to be the thickness of a brawny man's wrist snapped loudly under his foot; but he felt no concern at all
…and his plunging foot was stopped firmly by a heavier branch some four inches down。 Louis hardly staggered。 He supposed that now he could understand how pany manders in World War I had been able to stroll along the top of the trenches with bullets snapping all around them; whistling 〃Tipperary。〃 It was crazy; but the very craziness made it tremendously exhilarating。
He walked down; looking straight ahead at the bright circle of Jud's light。 Jud was standing there; waiting for him。 Then he reached the bottom; and the exhilaration flared up in him like a shot of coal oil on embers。
〃We made it!〃 he shouted。 He put the shovel down and clapped Jud on the shoulder。 He remembered climbing an apple tree to the top fork where it swayed in the wind like a ship's mast。 He had not felt so young or so viscerally alive in twenty years or more。 〃Jud; we made it!〃
〃Did you think we wouldn't?〃 Jud asked。
Louis opened his mouth to say something…Think we wouldn't?
We're damn lucky we didn't kill ourselves!…and then he shut it again。 He had never really questioned at all; not from the moment Jud approached the deadfall。 And he was not worried about getting back over again。
〃I guess not;〃 he said。
〃e on。 Cot a piece to walk yet。 Three miles or more。〃
They walked。 The path did indeed go on。 In places it seemed very wide; although the moving light revealed little clearly; it was mostly a feeling of space; a feeling that the trees had drawn back。 Once or twice Louis looked up and saw stars wheeling between the massed dark border of trees。 Once something loped across the path ahead of them; and the light picked up the reflection of greenish eyes…there and then gone。
At other times the path closed in until underbrush scratched stiff fingers across the shoulders of Louis's coat。 He switched the bag and the shovel more often; but the ache in his shoulders was now consta