sk.petsematary-第31部分

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had　a　big　powwow　about　it　。　。　or　so　I　heard　the　tale　in　my　green　years；　Louis；　but　I　heard　it　from　that　old　tosspot　Stanny　B。…which　is　what　we　all　called　Stanley　Bouchard…and　what　Stanny　B。　didn't　know；　he'd　make　up。〃
　　Louis；　who　knew　only　that　the　Wendigo　was　supposed　to　be　a　spirit　of　the　north　country；　said；　〃Do　you　think　the　ground's　gone　sour？〃
　　Jud　smiled…or　at　least　his　lips　slanted。　〃I　think　it's　a　dangerous　place；〃　he　said　softly；　〃but　not　for　cats　or　dogs　or　pet　hamsters。　Go　on　and　bury　your　animal；　Louis。〃
　　Louis　lowered　the　Hefty　Bag　into　the　hole　and　slowly　shoveled　the　dirt　back　in。　He　was　cold　now　and　tired。　The　patter　of　the　earth　on　the　plastic　was　a　depressing　sound；　and　while　he　did　not　regret　ing　up　here；　that　sense　of　exhilaration　was　fading；　and　he　had　begun　to　wish　the　adventure　over。　It　was　a　long　walk　back　home。
　　The　pattering　sound　muffled；　then　stopped…there　was　only　the　whump　of　dirt　on　more　dirt。　He　scraped　the　last　bit　into　the　hole　with　the　blade　of　his　shovel　（there's　never　enough；　he　thought；　recalling　something　his　undertaker　uncle　had　said　to　him　at　least　a　thousand　years　ago；　never　enough　to　fill　the　hole　up　again）　arid　then　turned　to　Jud。
　　〃Your　cairn；〃　Jud　said。
　　〃Look；　Jud；　I'm　pretty　tired　and…〃
　　〃It's　Ellie's　cat；〃　Jud　said；　and　his　voice；　although　soft；　was　implacable。　〃She'd　want　you　to　do　it　right。〃
　　Louis　sighed。　〃I　suppose　she　would；〃　he　said。
　　It　took　another　ten　minutes　to　pile　up　the　rocks　Jud　handed　him；　one　by　one。　When　it　was　done；　there　was　a　low；　conical　pile　of　stones　on　Church's　grave；　and　Louis　did　indeed　feel　a　small；　tired　pleasure。　It　looked　right；　somehow；　rising　with　the　others　in　the　starlight。　He　supposed　Ellie　would　never　see　it…the　thought　of　taking　her　through　that　patch　of　swamp　where　there　was　quicksand　would　make　Rachel's　hair　turn　white…but　he　had　seen　it；　and　it　was　good。
　　〃Most　of　these　have　fallen　over；〃　he　said　to　Jud；　standing　and　brushing　at　the　knees　of　his　pants。　He　was　seeing　more　clearly　now；　and　in　several　places　he　could　clearly　make　out　scattered　strews　of　loose　stones。　But　Jud　had　seen　to　it　that　he　built　his　own　cairn　only　from　stones　taken　from　the　grave　he　himself　had　dug。
　　〃Ayuh；〃　Jud　said。　〃Told　you：　the　place　is　old。〃
　　〃Are　we　done　now？〃
　　〃Ayuh。〃　He　clapped　Louis　on　the　shoulder。　〃You　did　good；　Louis。　I　knew　you　would。　Let's　go　home。〃
　　〃Jud…〃　he　began　again；　but　Jud　only　grabbed　the　pick　and　walked　off　toward　the　steps。　Louis　got　the　shovel；　had　to　trot　to　catch　up；　and　then　saved　his　breath　for　walking。　He　looked　back　once；　but　the　cairn　marking　the　grave　of　his　daughter's　cat　Winston　Churchill　had　melted　into　the　shadows；　and　he　could　not　pick　it　out。
　　We　just　ran　the　film　backward；　Louis　thought　tiredly　as　they　emerged　from　the　woods　and　into　the　field　overlooking　his　own　house　some　time　later。　He　did　not　know　how　much　later；　he　had　taken　off　his　watch　when　he　had　lain　down　to　doze　that　afternoon；　and　it　would　still　be　there　on　the　windowsill　by　his　bed。　He　only　knew　that　he　was　beat；　used　up；　done　in。　He　could　not　remember　feeling　so　kicked…dog　weary　since　his　first　day　on　Chicago's　rubbish…disposal　crew　one　high…school　summer　sixteen　or　seventeen　years　ago。
　　They　came　back　the　same　way　they　had　gone；　but　he　could　remember　very　little　about　the　trip。　He　stumbled　on　the　deadfall；　he　remembered　that…lurching　forward　and　thinking　absurdly　of　Peter　Pan…oh　Jesus；　I　lost　my　happy　thoughts　and　down　I　e…　and　then　Jud's　hand　had　been　there；　firm　and　hard；　and　a　few　moments　later　they　had　been　trudging　past　the　final　resting　places　of　Smucky　the　Cat　and　Trixie　and　Marta　Our　Pet　Rabit　and　onto　the　path　he　had　once　walked　not　only　with　Jud　but　with　his　whole　family。
　　It　seemed　that　in　some　weary　way　he　had　pondered　the　dream　of　Victor　Pascow；　the　one　which　had　resulted　in　his　somnambulistic　episode；　but　any　connection　between　that　night　walk　and　this　had　eluded　him。　It　had　also　occurred　to　him　that　the　whole　adventure　had　been　dangerous…not　in　any　melodramatic　Wilkie　Collins　sense　but　in　a　very　real　one。　That　he　had　outrageously　blistered　his　hands　while　in　a　state　that　was　nearly　somnambulistic　was　really　the　least　of　it。　He　could　have　killed　himself　on　the　deadfall。　Both　of　them　could　have。　It　was　hard　to　square　such　behavior　with　sobriety。　In　his　current　exhaustion；　he　was　willing　to　ascribe　it　to　confusion　and　emotional　upset　over　the　death　of　a　pet　the　whole　family　had　loved。
　　And　after　a　time；　there　they　were；　home　again。
　　They　walked　toward　it　together；　not　speaking；　and　stopped　again　in　Louis's　driveway。　The　wind　moaned　and　whined。　Wordlessly；　Louis　handed　Jud　his　pick。
　　〃I'd　best　get　across；〃　Jud　said　at　last。　〃Louella　Bisson　or　Ruthie　Parks　will　be　bringin　Norma　home　and　she'll　wonder　where　the　hell　I　am。〃
　　〃Do　you　have　the　time？〃　Louis　asked。　He　was　surprised　that　Norma　wasn't　home　yet；　in　his　muscles　it　seemed　to　him　that　midnight　must　have　struck。
　　〃Oh；　ayuh；〃　Jud　said。　〃I　keep　the　time　as　long　as　I'm　dressed　and　then　I　let　her　go。〃
　　He　fished　a　watch　out　of　his　pants　pocket　and　flicked　the　scrolled　cover　back　from　its　face。
　　〃It's　gone　eight…thirty；〃　he　said　and　snapped　the　cover　closed　again。
　　〃Eight…thirty？〃　Louis　repeated　stupidly。　〃That's　all？〃
　　〃How　late　did　you　think　it　was？〃　Jud　asked。
　　〃Later　than　that；〃　Louis　said。
　　〃I'll　see　you　tomorrow；　Louis；〃　Jud　said　and　began　to　move　away。
　　He　turned　toward　Louis；　mildly　questioning。
　　〃Jud；　what　did　we　do　tonight？〃
　　〃Why；　we　buried　your　daughter's　cat。〃
　　〃Is　that　all　we　did？〃
　　〃Nothing　but　that；〃　Jud　said。　〃You're　a　good　man；　Louis；　but　you　ask　too　many　questions。　Sometimes　people　have　to　do　things　that　just　seem　right。　That　seem　right　in　their　hearts；　I　mean。　And　if　they　do　those　things　and　then　end　up　not　feeling　right；　full　of　questions　and　sort　of　like　they　got　indigestion；　only　inside　their　heads　instead　of　in　their　guts；　they　think　they　made　a　mistake。　Do　you　know　what　I　mean？〃
　　〃Yes；〃　touis　said；　thinking　that　Jud　must　have　been　reading　his　mind　as　the　two　of　them　walked　downhill　through　the　field　and　toward　the　house　lights。
　　〃What　they　don't　think　is　that　maybe　they　should　be　questioning　those　feelings　of　doubt　before　they　question　their　own　hearts；〃　Jud　said；　looking　at　him　closely。　〃What　do　you　think；　Louis？〃
　　〃I　think；〃　Louis　said　slowly；　〃that　you　might　be　right。〃
　　〃And　the　things　that　are　in　a　man's　heart…it　don't　do　him　much　good　to　talk　about　those　things；　does　it？〃
　　〃Well…〃
　　〃No；〃　Jud　said；　as　if　Louis　had　simply　agreed。　〃It　don't。〃　And　in　his　calm　voice　that　was　so　sure　and　so　implacable；　in　that　voice　which　somehow　put　the　chill　through　Louis；　he　said：　〃They　are　secret　things。　Women　are　supposed　to　be　the　ones　good　at　keeping　secrets；　and　I　guess　they　do　keep　a　few；　but　any　woman　who　knows　anything　at　all　would　tell　you　she's　never　really　seen　into　any　man's　heart。　The　soil　of　a　man's　heart　is　stonier；　Louis…like　the　soil　up　there　in　the　old　Micmac　burying　ground。　Bedrock's　close。　A　man　grows　what　he　can。　。　。　and　he　tends　it。〃
　　Jud…　〃Don't　question；　Louis。　Accept　what's　done　and　follow　your　heart。〃
　　〃But…〃
　　〃But　nothing。　Accept　what's　done；　Louis；　and　follow　your　heart。　We　did　what　was　right　this　time　。　。　。　at　least；　I　hope　to　Christ　it　was　right。　Another　time　it　could　be　wrong…wrong　as　hell。〃
　　〃Will　you　at　least　answer　one　question？〃
　　〃Well；　let's　hear　what　it　is；　and　then　we'll　see。〃
　　〃How　did　you　know　about　that　place？〃　This　question　had　also　occurred　to　Louis　on　the　way　back；　along　with　the　suspicion　that　Jud　himself　might　be　part　Micmac…although　he　did　not　look　like　it；　he　looked　as　if　every　one　of　his　ancestors　had　been　one　hundred　percent　card…carrying　Anglos。
　　〃Why；　from　Stanny　B。；〃　he　said；　looking　surprised。
　　〃He　just　told　you？〃
　　〃No；〃　Jud　said。　〃It　isn't　the　kind　of　place　you　just　tell　somebody　about。　I　buried　my　dog　Spot　up　there　when　I　was　ten。　He　was　chasing　a　rabbit；　and　he　run　on　some　rusty　barbed　wire。　The　wounds　infected　and　it　killed　him。〃
　　There　was　something　wrong　about　that；　something　that　didn't　fit　with　something　Louis　had　been　previously　told；　but　he　was