sk.petsematary-第49部分

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elda　with　enough　force　to　pull　her　own　blouse　apart。
　　That　she　had　strained　herself　trying　to　keep　Zelda　from　choking　was　simple；　obvious；　elementary…my…dear…Watson。　To　everyone；　that　was；　except　Rachel　herself。　Rachel　had　been　sure　that　this　was　Zelda's　revenge　from　beyond　the　grave。　Zelda　knew　that　Rachel　was　glad　she　was　dead；　Zelda　knew　that　when　Rachel　burst　from　the　house　telling　all　and　sundry　Zelda's　dead；　Zelda's　dead　at　the　top　of　her　voice；　she　had　been　laughing；　not　screaming；　Zelda　knew　she　had　been　murdered　and　so　had　given　Rachel　spinal　meningitis；　and　soon　Rachel's　back　would　start　to　twist　and　change　and　she　too　would　have　to　lie　in　bed；　slowly　but　surely　turning　into　a　monster；　her　hands　hooking　into　claws。
　　After　a　while　she　would　begin　screaming　with　the　pain；　as　Zelda　had　done；　and　then　she　would　start　wetting　the　bed；　and　finally　she　would　choke　to　death　on　her　own　tongue。　It　was　Zelda's　revenge。
　　No　one　could　talk　Rachel　out　of　this　belief…not　her　mother；　her　father；　or　Dr。　Murray；　who　diagnosed　a　mild　backsprain　and　then　told　Rachel　brusquely　（cruelly；　some…Louis；　for　instance…would　have　said）　to　stop　behaving　so　badly。　She　ought　to　remember　that　her　sister　had　just　died；　Dr。　Murray　told　her；　her　parents　were　prostrate　with　grief　and　this　was　not　the　time　for　Rachel　to　make　a　childish　play　for　attention。　Only　the　slowly　abating　pain　had　been　able　to　convince　her　that　she　was　neither　the　victim　of　Zelda's　supernatural　vengeance　nor　God's　just　punishment　of　the　wicked。　For　months　（or　so　she　told　Louis；　it　had　actually　been　years；　eight　of　them）　afterward　she　would　awaken　from　nightmares　in　which　her　sister　died　over　and　over　again；　and　in　the　dark　Rachel's　hands　would　fly　to　her　back　to　make　sure　it　was　all　right。　In　the　frightful　aftermath　of　these　dreams　she　often　thought　that　the　closet　door　would　bang　open　and　Zelda　would　lurch　out；　blue　and　twisted；　her　eyes　rolled　up　to　shiny　whites；　her　black　tongue　puffing　out　through　her　lips；　her　hands　hooked　into　claws　to　murder　the　murderer　cowering　in　her　bed　with　her　hands　jammed　into　the　small　of　her　back。
　　She　had　not　attended　Zelda's　funeral　or　any　funeral　since。
　　〃If　you'd　told　me　this　before；〃　Louis　said；　〃it　would　have　explained　a　hell　of　a　lot。〃
　　〃Lou；　I　couldn't；〃　she　said　simply。　She　sounded　very　sleepy　now。　〃Since　then　I've　been。　。　。　I　guess　a　little　phobic　on　the　subject。〃
　　Just　a　little　phobic；　Louis　thought。　Yeah；　right。
　　〃I　can't。　。　。　seem　to　help　it。　In　my　mind　I　know　you're　right；　that　death　is　perfectly　natural…good；　even…but　what　my　mind　knows　and　what　happens。　。　。　inside　me。　。
　　〃Yeah；〃　he　said。
　　〃That　day　I　blew　up　at　you；〃　she　said；　〃I　knew　that　Ellie　was　just　crying　over　the　idea。　。　。　a　way　of　getting　used　to　it。　。　。　but　I　couldn't　help　it。　I'm　sorry；　Louis。〃
　　〃No　apology　needed；〃　he　said；　stroking　her　hair。　〃But　what　the　hell；　I　accept　it　anyway；　if　it'll　make　you　feel　better。〃
　　She　smiled。　〃It　does；　you　know。　And　I　feel　better。　I　feel　as　if　I　just　sicked　up　something　that's　poisoned　part　of　me　for　years。〃
　　〃Maybe　you　have。〃
　　Rachel's　eyes　slipped　closed　and　then　opened　again　slowly。　〃And　don't　blame　it　all　on　my　father；　Louis。　Please。　That　was　a　terrible　time　for　them。　The　bills…Zelda's　bills…were　sky…high。　My　dad　had　missed　his　chance　to　expand　into　the　suburbs；　and　the　sales　in　the　downtown　store　were　off。　On　top　of　that；　my　mother　was　half…crazy　herself。
　　〃Well；　it　all　worked　out。　It　was　as　if　Zelda's　death　was　the　signal　for　good　times　to　e　around　again。　There　had　been　a　recession；　but　then　the　money　loosened　up　and　Daddy　got　his　loan；　and　since　then　he's　never　looked　back。　But　that's　why　they've　always　been　possessive　of　me；　I　think。　It's　not　just　because　I'm　the　only　one　left…〃
　　〃It's　guilt；〃　Louis　said。
　　〃Yes；　I　suppose。　And　you　won't　be　mad　at　me　if　I'm　sick　when　they　bury　Norma？〃
　　〃No；　honey；　I　won't　be　mad。〃　He　paused　and　then　took　her　hand。　〃May　I　take　Ellie？〃
　　Her　hand　tightened　in　his。　〃Oh；　Louis；　I　don't　know；〃　she　said。　〃She's　so　young…〃
　　〃She's　known　where　babies　e　from　for　a　year　or　more；〃　he　reminded　her　again。
　　She　was　quiet　for　a　long　time；　looking　up　at　the　ceiling　and　biting　her　lips。　〃If　you　think　it's　best；〃　she　said　finally。　〃If　you　think　it　won't。　。　。　won't　hurt　her。〃
　　〃e　over　here；　Rachel；〃　he　said；　and　that　night　they　slept　back…to…stomach　in　Louis's　bed；　and　when　she　woke　up　trembling　in　the　middle　of　the　night；　the　Valium　worn　off；　he　soothed　her　with　his　hands　and　whispered　in　her　ear　that　everything　was　okay；　and　she　slept　again。
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　　〃For　man…and　woman…is　like　the　flowers　in　the　valley；　which　bloom　today　and　are　tomorrow　cast　into　the　oven：　the　time　of　man　is　but　a　season；　it　eth；　and　so　it　passeth　away。　Let　us　pray。〃
　　Ellie；　resplendent　in　a　navy　blue　dress　bought　especially　for　the　occasion；　dropped　her　head　so　abruptly　that　Louis；　sitting　next　to　her　in　the　pew；　heard　her　neck　creak。　Ellie　had　been　in　few　churches；　and　of　course　it　was　her　first　funeral；　the　bination　had　awed　her　to　unaccustomed　silence。
　　For　Louis；　it　had　been　a　rare　occasion　with　his　daughter。　Mostly　blinded　by　his　love　for　her；　as　he　was　by　his　love　for　Gage；　he　rarely　observed　her　in　a　detached　way；　but　today　he　thought　he　was　seeing　what　was　almost　a　textbook　case　of　the　child　nearing　the　end　of　life's　first　great　developmental　stage；　an　organism　of　almost　pure　curiosity；　storing　up　information　madly　in　almost　endless　circuits。　Ellie　had　been　quiet　even　when　Jud；　looking　strange　but　elegant　in　his　black　suit　and　lace…up　shoes　（Louis　believed　it　was　the　first　time　he　had　ever　seen　him　in　anything　but　loafers　or　green　rubber　boots）；　had　bent　over；　kissed　her；　and　said：　〃Glad　you　could　e；　honey。　And　I　bet　Norma　is　too。〃
　　Ellie　had　gazed　at　him；　wide…eyed。
　　Now　the　Methodist　minister；　Reverend　Laughlin；　was　pronouncing　the　benediction；　asking　God　to　lift　up　His　countenance　upon　them　and　give　them　peace。
　　〃Will　the　pallbearers　e　forward？〃　he　asked。
　　Louis　started　to　rise；　and　Ellie　halted　him；　tugging　his　arm　frantically。　She　looked　scared。　〃Daddy！〃　she　stage…whispered。　〃Where　are　you　going？〃
　　〃I'm　one　of　the　pallbearers；　honey；〃　Louis　said；　sitting　down　beside　her　again　for　a　moment　and　putting　an　arm　around　her　shoulders。　〃That　means　I'm　going　to　help　carry　Norma　out。　There　are　four　of　us　that　are　going　to　do　it…me　and　two　of　Jud's　nephews　and　Norma's　brother。〃
　　〃Where　will　I　find　you？〃
　　Louis　glanced　down　front。　The　other　three　pallbearers　had　assembled　there；　along　with　Jud。　The　rest　of　the　congregation　was　filing　out；　some　of　them　weeping。
　　〃If　you　just　go　out　on　the　steps；　I'll　meet　you　there；〃　he　said。　〃All　right；　Ellie？〃
　　〃Yes；〃　she　said。　〃Just　don't　forget　me。〃
　　〃No；　I　won't。〃
　　He　got　up　again；　and　she　tugged　his　hand　again。
　　〃Daddy？〃
　　〃What；　babe？〃
　　〃Don't　drop　her；〃　Ellie　whispered。
　　Louis　joined　the　others；　and　Jud　introduced　him　to　the　nephews；　who　were　really　second　or　third　cousins　。　。　。　descendants　of　Jud's　father's　brother。　They　were　big　fellows　in　their　twenties　with　a　strong　facial　resemblance。　Norma's　brother　was　somewhere　in　his　late　fifties；　Louis　guessed；　and　while　the　strain　of　a　death　in　the　family　was　on　his　face；　he　seemed　to　be　bearing　up　well。
　　〃Pleased　to　meet　you　all；〃　Louis　said。　He　felt　a　trifle　unfortable…an　outsider　in　the　family　circle。
　　They　nodded　at　him。
　　〃Ellie　okay？〃　Jud　asked　and　nodded　to　her。　She　was　lingering　in　the　vestibule；　watching。
　　Sure…she　just　wants　to　make　sure　I　don't　go　up　in　a　puff　of　smoke；　Louis　thought　and　almost　smiled。　But　then　that　thought　called　up　another　one：　Oz　the　Gweat　and　Tewwible。　And　the　smile　died。
　　〃Yes；　I　think　so；〃　Louis　said　and　raised　a　hand　to　her。　She　raised　hers　in　return　and　went　outside　then　in　a　swirl　of　navy　blue　dress。　For　a　moment　Louis　was　uneasily　struck　by　how　adult　she　looked。　It　was　the　sort　of　illusion；　no　matter　how　fleeting；　that　could　give　a　man　pause。
　　〃You　guys　ready？〃　one　of　the　nephews　asked。
　　Louis　nodded；　so　did　Norma's　younger　brother。
　　〃Take　it　easy　with　her；〃　Jud　said。　His　voice　had　roughened。　Then　he　turned　away　and　walked　slowly　up　the　aisle　wit