sk.petsematary-第68部分

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　　For　a　moment　Louis　saw　the　Pet　Sematary　as　a　kind　of　advertisement　。　。　。　a　e…on；　like　the　kind　they　gave　you　on　freak　alley　at　the　carnival。　They'd　bring　out　the　fire…eater　and　you　got　to　watch　his　show　for　free　because　the　owners　knew　you　wouldn't　buy　the　steak　unless　you　saw　the　sizzle；　you　wouldn't　cough　up　the　cash　if　you　didn't　see　the　flash…　Those　graves；　those　graves　in　their　almost　Druidic　circles。
　　The　graves　in　the　Pet　Sematary　mimed　the　most　ancient　religious　symbol　of　all：　diminishing　circles　indicating　a　spiral　leading　down；　not　to　a　point；　but　to　infinity；　order　from　chaos　or　chaos　from　order；　depending　on　which　way　your　mind　worked。　It　was　a　symbol　the　Egyptians　had　chiseled　on　the　tombs　of　the　Pharaohs；　a　symbol　the　Phoenicians　had　drawn　on　the　barrows　of　their　fallen　kings；　it　was　found　on　cave　walls　in　ancient　Mycenae；　the　guildkings　of　Stonehenge　had　created　it　as　a　clock　to　time　the　universe；　it　appeared　in　the　Judeo…Christian　Bible　as　the　whirlwind　from　which　God　had　spoken　to　Job。
　　The　spiral　was　the　oldest　sign　of　power　in　the　world；　man's　oldest　symbol　of　that　twisty　bridge　which　may　exist　between　the　world　and　the　Gulf。
　　Louis　reached　Gage's　grave　at　last。　The　payloader　was　gone。　The　Astroturf　had　been　removed；　rolled　up　by　some　whistling　workman　with　his　mind　on　an　after…work　beer　at　the　Fairmount　Lounge；　stored　in　an　equipment　shed　somewhere。　Where　Gage　lay　there　was　a　neat　rectangle　of　bare；　raked　earth；　perhaps　five　feet　by　three　feet。　The　headstone　had　not　been　set　up　yet。
　　Louis　kneeled。　The　wind　blew　through　his　hair；　tumbling　it。　The　sky　was　almost　entirely　dark　now。　It　raced　with　clouds。
　　No　one　has　shone　a　light　in　my　face　and　asked　me　what　I'm　doing　here。　No　watchdog　has　barked。　The　gate　was　unlocked。　The　days　of　the　Resurrection　Men　are　past。　If　I　came　up　here　with　a　pick　and　a　shovel…　He　came　back　to　himself　with　a　jerk。　He　was　only　playing　a　dangerous　mind　game　with　himself　if　he　pretended　that　Pleasant…view　stood　unwatched　during　the　night　hours。　Suppose　he　was　discovered　belly…deep　in　his　son's　new　grave　by　the　caretaker　or　the　watchman？　It　might　not　get　into　the　papers；　but　then　again　it　might。　He　might　be　charged　with　a　crime。　What　crime？　Grave　robbing？　Unlikely。　Malicious　mischief　or　vandalism　would　be　more　likely。　And　in　the　paper　or　out　of　it；　the　word　would　get　around。　People　would　talk；　it　was　a　story　too　juicy　not　to　be　told：
　　Local　doctor　is　discovered　digging　up　his　two…year…old　son；　recently　killed　in　a　tragic　road　accident。　He　would　lose　his　job。　Even　if　not；　Rachel　would　be　chilled　by　the　wind　of　such　tales；　and　Ellie　might　be　harried　by　them　at　school　until　her　life　was　a　misery　of　chanting　children。　There　might　be　the　humiliation　of　a　sanity　test　in　exchange　for　dropping　charges。
　　But　I　could　bring　Gage　back　to　life！　Gage　could　live　again！
　　Did　he　really；　actually　believe　that？
　　The　fact　was　that　he　did。　He　had　told　himself　time　and　time　again；　both　before　Gage's　death　and　after　it；　that　Church　had　not　really　been　dead；　only　stunned。　That　Church　had　dug　his　way　out　and　e　home。　A　kiddie　story　with　gruesome　undertones…
　　Winnie　the　Poe。　Master　unwittingly　piles　a　cairn　of　stones　over　a　living　animal。　Faithful　beast　digs　itself　out　and　es　home。　Fine。　Except　it　was　not　true。　Church　had　been　dead。　The　Micmac　burying　ground　had　brought　it　back　to　life。
　　He　sat　by　Gage's　grave；　trying　to　place　all　the　known　ponents　in　an　order　as　rational　and　logical　as　this　dark　magic　would　allow。
　　Timmy　Baterman；　now。　First；　did　he　believe　the　story？　And　second；　did　it　make　a　difference？
　　In　spite　of　its　convenience；　he　believed　most　of　it。　It　was　undeniable　that　if　a　place　like　the　Micmac　burying　ground　existed　（as　it　did）　and　if　people　knew　of　it　（as　a　few　of　the　older　Ludlowites　did）；　then　sooner　or　later　someone　would　try　the　experiment。　Human　nature　as　Louis　understood　it　made　it　more　difficult　to　believe　that　it　had　stopped　at　a　few　pets　and　valuable　breed　animals。
　　All　right；　then…did　he　also　believe　that　Timmy　Baterman　had　been　transformed　into　some　sort　of　all…knowing　daemon？
　　That　was　a　more　difficult　question；　and　he　was　wary　of　it　because　he　didn't　want　to　believe　it；　and　he　had　seen　the　results　of　that　sort　of　mind…set　before。
　　No；　he　did　not　want　to　believe　Timmy　Baterman　had　been　a　daemon；　but　he　would　not…absolutely　could　not…allow　himself　to　let　what　he　wanted　cloud　his　judgment。
　　Louis　thought　about　Hanratty；　the　bull。　Hanratty；　Jud　said；　had　turned　mean。　So；　in　his　way；　had　Timmy　Baterman。　Hanratty　had　later　been　〃put　down〃　by　the　same　man　who　had　somehow　dragged　the　bull's　body　up　to　the　Micmac　burying　ground　on　a　sledge。　Timmy　Baterman　had　been　〃put　down〃　by　his　father。
　　But　because　Hanratty　had　gone　bad；　did　that　mean　that　all　animals　went　bad？　No。　Hanratty　the　bull　did　not　prove　the　general　case；　Hanratty　was　in　fact　an　exception　to　the　general　case。　Look　back　at　the　other　animals…Jud's　dog　Spot；　the　old　woman's　parakeet；　Church　himself。　They　had　all　e　back　changed；　and　the　change　had　been　noticeable　in　all　cases；　but　in　the　case　of　Spot；　at　least；　the　change　hadn't　been　so　great　that　Jud　had　forborne　to　remend　the　process　of。　。　。　of。　。
　　（resurrection）
　　Yes；　of　resurrection　to　a　friend　years　later。　Of　course；　farther　down　the　line　he　had　tried　to　justify　and　hem　and　haw；　and　had　spouted　a　lot　of　ominous；　confused　bullshit　that　could　not　even　rightly　be　called　philosophy。
　　How　could　he　refuse　to　take　the　chance　available　to　him…this　one；　unbelievable　chance…on　the　basis　of　the　Timmy　Baterman　story？　One　swallow　did　not　a　summer　make。
　　You're　slanting　all　the　evidence　in　favor　'of　the　conclusion　you　want　to　produce；　his　mind　protested。　At　least　tell　yourself　the　goddamned　truth　about　the　change　in　Church。　Even　if　you　want　to　disqualify　the　animals…the　mice　and　the　birds…what　about　the　way　he　is？　Muddled。　。　。　that's　the　best　word　of　all；　that　sums　it　up。　The　day　we　were　out　with　the　kite。　You　remember　how　Gage　was　that　day？　How　vibrant　and　alive　he　was；　reacting　to　everything？　Wouldn't　it　be　better　to　remember　him　that　way？　Do　you　want　to　resurrect　a　zombie　from　a　grade…B　horror　picture？　Or　even　something　so　prosaic　as　a　retarded　little　boy？　A　boy　who　eats　with　his　fingers　and　stares　blankly　at　images　on　the　TV　screen　and　who　will　never　learn　to　write　his　own　name？　What　did　Jud　say　about　his　dog？　〃It　was　like　washing　a　piece　of　meat。〃　Is　that　what　you　want？　A　piece　of　breathing　meat？　And　even　if　you're　able　to　be　satisfied　with　that；　how　do　you　explain　the　return　of　your　son　from　the　dead　to　your　wife？　To　your　daughter？　To　Steve　Masterton？　To　the　world？　What　happens　the　first　time　Missy　Dandridge　pulls　into　the　driveway　and　sees　Gage　riding　his　trike　in　the　yard？　Can't　you　hear　her　screams；　Louis？　Can't　you　see　her　harrowing　her　face　with　her　fingernails？　What　do　you　say　to　the　reporters？　What　do　you　say　when　a　film　crew　from　〃Real　People〃　turns　up　on　your　doorstep；　wanting　to　shoot　film　of　your　resurrected　son？
　　Did　any　of　this　really　matter；　or　was　it　only　the　voice　of　cowardice？　Did　he　believe　these　things　could　not　be　dealt　With？　That　Rachel　would　greet　her　dead　son　with　anything　but　tears　of　joy？
　　Yes；　he　supposed　there　was　a　real　possibility　that　Gage　might　return　。　。　。　well　。　。　。　diminished。　But　would　that　change　the　quality　of　his　love？　Parents　loved　children　who　were　born　blind；　children　born　as　Siamese　twins；　children　who　were　born　with　their　guts　abysmally　rearranged。　Parents　pled　for　judicial　mercy　or　executive　clemency　on　behalf　of　children　who　had　grown　up　to　mit　rape　and　murder　and　the　torture　of　the　innocent。
　　Did　he　believe　it　would　be　impossible　for　him　to　love　Gage　even　if　Gage　had　to　go　on　wearing　diapers　until　he　was　eight？　If　he　did　not　master　the　first…grade　primer　until　he　was　twelve？　If　he　never　mastered　it　at　all？　Could　he　simply　dismiss　his　son　as　a　sort　of　divine　abortion；　when　there　was　another　recourse？
　　But；　Louis；　my　God；　you　don't　live　in　a　vacuum！　People　will　say…　He　cut　that　thought　off　with　rude；　angry　force。　Of　all　the　things　not　to　consider　now；　public　notice　was　probably　the　greatest　of　them。
　　Louis　glanced　down　at　the　raked　dirt　of　Ga