sk.petsematary-第69部分

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notice　was　probably　the　greatest　of　them。
　　Louis　glanced　down　at　the　raked　dirt　of　Gage's　grave　and　felt　a　wave　of　awe　and　horror　course　through　him。　Unknowing；　moving　by　themselves；　his　fingers　had　drawn　a　pattern　in　the　dirt…he　had　drawn　a　spiral。
　　He　swept　the　fingers　of　both　hands　through　the　dirt；　rubbing　the　pattern　out。　Then　he　left　Pleasantview；　hurrying；　feeling　very　much　a　trespasser　now；　believing　that　he　would　be　seen；　stopped；　questioned　at　every　turn　of　the　path。
　　He　was　late　collecting　his　pizza；　and　although　it　had　been　left　on　top　of　one　of　the　big　ovens；　it　was　semicold　and　greasy　and　every　bit　as　tasty　as　cooked　clay。　Louis　ate　one　piece　and　then　tossed　the　rest　out　the　window；　box　and　all；　as　he　headed　back　to　Ludlow。　He　wasn't　a　litterbug　by　nature；　but　he　did　not　want　Rachel　to　see　a　mostly　uneaten　pizza　at　home　in　the　wastebasket。　It　might　raise　a　surmise　in　her　mind…that　a　pizza　wasn't　really　what　he'd　had　in　mind　when　he　went　to　Bangor。
　　Louis　now　began　to　think　about　the　time　and　circumstance。
　　Time。　Time　might　be　of　extreme；　even　crucial；　importance。　Timmy　Baterman　had　been　dead　a　good　while　before　his　father　could　get　him　up　to　the　Micmac　burying　ground。　Timmy　was　shot　the　nineteenth　。　。　。　Timmy　was　buried…don't　hold　me　to　this；　but　I　think　it　was　July　twenty…second。　It　was　four　or　five　days　later　that　Marjorie　Washburn。　。　。　saw　Timmy　walking　up　the　road。
　　All　right；　say　that　Bill　Baterman　had　done　it　four　days　after　his　son's　original　interral。　。　。　no。　If　he　was　going　to　err；　let　him　err　on　the　side　of　conservatism。　Say　three　days。　For　the　sake　of　argument；　assume　that　Timmy　Baterman　returned　from　the　dead　on　July　twenty…fifth。　That　made　six　days　between　the　boy's　death　and　his　return；　and　that　was　a　conservative　estimate。　It　might　have　been　as　long　as　ten　days。　For　Gage；　it　had　now　been　four　days。　Time　had　already　gotten　away　from　him　to　a　degree；　but　it　was　still　possible　to　cut　Bifi　Baterman's　best　time　considerably。　
　　If　he　could　bring　about　circumstances　similar　to　those　which　had　made　the　resurrection　of　Church　possible。　Because　Church　had　died　at　the　best　possible　time；　hadn't　he？　His　family　had　been　away　when　Church　was　struck　and　killed。　No　one　was　the　wiser；　except　for　him　and　Jud。
　　His　family　had　been　in　Chicago。
　　For　Louis；　the　final　piece　fell　into　place　with　a　neat　little　click。
　　〃You　want　us　to　what？〃　Rachel　asked；　staring　at　him；　astounded。
　　It　was　a　quarter　of　ten。　Ellie　had　gone　to　bed。　Rachel　had　taken　another　Valium　after　cleaning　up　the　detritus　of　the　funeral　party　（〃funeral　party〃　was　another　of　those　horrible　phrases　full　of　unstated　paradox；　like　〃visiting　hours；〃　but　there　seemed　no　other　phrase　for　the　way　they　had　spent　their　afternoon）　and　had　seemed　dazed　and　quiet　ever　since　he　returned　from　Bangor。　。　。　but　this　had　gotten　through。
　　〃To　go　back　to　Chicago　with　your　mother　and　father；〃　Louis　repeated　patiently。　〃They'll　be　going　tomorrow。　If　you　call　them　now　and　Delta　right　after；　you　may　be　able　to　get　on　the　same　plane　with　them。〃
　　〃Louis；　have　you　lost　your　mind？　After　the　fight　you　had　with　my　father…〃
　　Louis　found　himself　speaking　with　a　quick　glibness　that　was　totally　unlike　him。　It　afforded　him　a　cheesy　sort　of　exhilaration。　He　felt　like　a　football　sub　who　suddenly　gets　the　ball　and　makes　a　seventy…yard　touchdown　run；　cutting　and　weaving；　outthinking　potential　tacklers　with　a　delirious　one…time…only　ease。　He　had　never　been　a　particularly　good　liar；　and　he　had　not　planned　this　encounter　in　any　detail　at　all；　but　now　a　string　of　plausible　lies；　half…truths；　and　inspired　justification　poured　out　of　him。
　　〃The　fight　we　had　is　one　of　the　reasons　I　want　you　and　Ellie　to　go　back　with　them。　It's　time　we　sewed　up　this　wound；　Rachel。　I　knew　that　。　。　。　felt　it　。　。　。　at　the　funeral　parlor。　When　the　fight　started；　I　was　trying　to　patch　things　up。〃
　　〃But　this　trip　。　。　。　I　don't　think　it's　a　good　idea　at　all；　Louis。　We　need　you。　And　you　need　us。〃　Her　eyes　measured　him　doubtfully。　〃At　least；　I　hope　you　need　us。　And　neither　of　us　are　in　any　shape　to…〃
　　〃…in　any　kind　of　shape　to　stay　here；〃　Louis　said　forcefully。　He　felt　as　if　he　might　be　ing　down　with　a　fever。　〃I'm　glad　you　need　me；　and　I　do　need　you　and　Ellie。　But　right　now　this　is　the　worst　damn　place　in　the　world　for　you；　honey。　Gage　is　everywhere　in　this　house；　around　every　corner。　For　you　and　me；　sure。　But　it's　even　worse　for　Ellie；　I　think。〃
　　He　saw　pain　flicker　in　her　eyes　and　knew　he　had　touched　her。　Some　part　of　himself　felt　shame　at　this　cheap　victory。　All　the　textbooks　he'd　read　on　the　subject　of　death　told　him　that　the　bereaved's　first　strong　impulse　is　to　get　away　from　the　place　where　it　happened　。　。　。　and　that　to　succumb　to　such　an　impulse　may　turn　out　to　be　the　most　harmful　course　of　action　because　it　allows　the　bereaved　the　dubious　luxury　of　refusing　to　e　to　terms　with　the　new　reality。　The　books　said　it　was　best　to　remain　where　you　were；　to　battle　grief　on　its　home　ground　until　it　subsided　into　remembrance。　But　Louis　simply　did　not　dare　make　the　experiment　with　his　family　at　home。　He　had　to　get　rid　of　them；　at　least　for　a　while。
　　〃I　know；〃　she　said。　〃It　just　。　。　。　hits　you　all　over　the　place。　I　moved　the　couch　while　you　were　in　Bangor。　。　。　I　thought　running　the　vacuum　around　would　take　my　mind　off。　。　。　off　things　and　I　found　four　of　his　little　Matchbox　cars　under　there　as　if　they　were　waiting　for　him　to　e　back　and。　。　。　you　know；　play　with　them　。　。　。〃　Her　voice；　already　wavering；　now　broke。　Tears　spilled　down　her　cheeks。　〃And　that's　when　I　took　the　second　Valium　because　I　started　crying　again；　the　way　I'm　crying　now。　。　。　oh　what　a　fucking　soap　opera　all　of　this　is。　。　。　hold　me；　Lou；　will　you　hold　me？〃
　　He　did　hold　her；　and　he　did　it　well；　but　he　felt　like　an　imposter。　His　mind　spun　with　ways　to　turn　these　tears　to　his　further　benefit。　Some　nice　guy；　all　right。　Hey…ho；　let's　go。
　　〃How　long　does　it　go　on？〃　she　wept。　〃Does　it　ever　end？　If　only　we　could　have　him　back；　Louis；　I　swear　I'd　watch　him　better；　it　would　never　happen；　and　just　because　that　driver　was　going　too　fast　that　doesn't　let　me…us…off　the　hook。　I　didn't　know　there　could　ever　be　hurt　like　this；　and　that's　the　truth。　It　es；　over　and　over　it　es；　and　it　hurts　so　much；　Louis；　there's　no　rest　from　it　even　when　I　go　to　sleep；　when　I　go　to　sleep　I　dream　it；　over　and　over　again；　I　see　him　running　to　the　road　。　。　。　and　I　scream　to　him。　。　。〃
　　〃Shhh；〃　he　said。　〃Rachel；　shhhh。〃
　　She　lifted　her　puffy　face　to　him。　〃It　wasn't　even　as　if　he　were　being　bad；　Louis。　It　was　just　a　game　to　him。　。　。　the　truck　came　at　the　wrong　time。　。　。　and　Missy　Dandridge　called　while　I　was　still　crying。　。　。　and　said　she　read　in　the　Ellsworth　American　that　the　driver　tried　to　kill　himself。〃
　　〃What？〃
　　〃He　tried　to　hang　himself　in　his　garage。　He's　in　shock　and　deep　depression；　the　paper　said。　。　。〃
　　〃Too　fucking　bad　he　didn't　make　good　on　it；〃　Louis　said　savagely；　but　his　voice　sounded　distant　to　his　own　ears；　and　he　felt　a　chill　spreading　through。　The　place　has　a　power；　Louis。　。　。　it's　been　full　of　power　before；　and　I'm　ascared　it's　ing　round　to　full　again。　〃My　boy's　dead　and　he's　out　on　a　thousand　dollars'　bail　and　he'll　go　on　feeling　depressed　and　suicidal　until　some　judge　takes　away　his　license　for　ninety　days　and　gives　him　a　slap…on…the…wrist　fine。〃
　　〃Missy　says　his　wife　has　taken　the　kids　and　left　him；〃　Rachel　said　dully。　〃She　didn't　get　that　from　the　paper；　but　from　somebody　who　knows　somebody　down　Ellsworth　way。　He　wasn't　drunk。　He　wasn't　on　drugs。　He　didn't　have　any　previous　speeding　violations。　He　said　that　when　he　got　to　Ludlow；　he　just　felt　like　putting　the　pedal　to　the　metal。　He　said　he　didn't　even　know　why。　So　around　and　around　it　goes。〃
　　He　just　felt　like　putting　the　pedal　to　the　metal。
　　The　place　has　a　power。
　　Louis　thrust　these　thoughts　away。　He　gripped　his　wife's　forearm　gently。　〃Call　your　mother　and　father。　Do　it　now。　There's　no　need　for　you　and　Ellie　to　be　in　this　house　another　day。　Not　another　day。〃
　　〃Not　without　you；〃　she　said。　〃Louis；　I　want　us　。　。　。　I　need　us　to　stick　together。〃
　　〃I'll　follow　you　in　three　days…four　at　the　most。〃　If　things　went　well；　R