thillerman.theblessingway-第32部分

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　McKee　was　glad　it　was　dark。　Judging　from　the　sound　of　her　voice；　she　was　on　the　ragged　edge　of　tears。
　〃I　didn't　have　a　chance　to　tell　you；〃　he　said。　〃We　think　maybe　that　electrical　engineer　you　were　looking　for　may　be　working　somewhere　way　up　the　canyon。〃
　〃Jim？　Did　you　find　him？〃
　〃Some　Indians　saw　a　van　truck　driving　up　in　here。　Do　you　know　if　he　was　pulling　a　generator？〃
　〃There　was　a　little　trailer　behind　his　truck；〃　she　said。　〃Would　that　be　a　generator？〃
　〃Probably；〃　McKee　said。　He　searched　his　mind　for　some　way　to　keep　this　conversation　going；　to　keep　her　from　thinking　of　sudden　death。
　〃I　noticed　your　ring；　Miss　Leon。　Is　this　Dr。　Hall…er；　Jim…the　one　you're　engaged　to？〃　i
　〃Why　don't　you　call　me　Ellen？〃　she　said。　There　was　a　pause。　〃Yes；　I　was　going　to　marry　him。〃
　McKee　noticed　the　past　tense　instantly。　And　then　it　occurred　to　him　why　she　used　it。　She　thought　she　would　soon　be　dead。
　〃What's　he　like？〃　McKee　asked。　〃Tell　me　about　him。〃
　〃He's　tall；〃　she　said。　〃And　rather　slim。　Blond　hair；　blue　eyes。　He's　very　handsome　really。　And　he's…he's；　well…sometimes　moody。　And　sometimes　very　happy。　And　always　very　smart。〃
　The　voice　stopped。　I　match　none　of　that；　McKee　thought；　except　the　mood　part。
　〃He　graduated　magna　cum　laude。〃　The　voice　paused；　then　continued；　〃And　our　society　doesn't　have　the　proper　respect　for　magna　cum　laude。〃
　〃I　guess　not；〃　McKee　said。
　Ellen　laughed。　〃I　was　quoting　Jim；〃　she　said。　〃Jim　is…well；　Jim　is　very　ambitious。　He　wants　things。　He　wants　a　lot　of　things；　and　he's　very；　very　smart…and…and　so　he'll　get　them。〃
　〃I　don't　know　why；〃　McKee　said。　〃But　I　guess　I　never　was　very　ambitious。〃　He　wished　instantly　that　he　hadn't　said　it。　It　sounded　self…pitying。
　〃What　else　about　him？〃　McKee　asked。　He　didn't　enjoy　hearing　her　talk　about　the　man。　But　it　was　better　for　her　to　talk；　better　than　having　her　sitting　silent　in　the　dark…dreading　tomorrow。　She　talked　rapidly　now；　sounding　sometimes　as　if　she　had　waited　a　long　time　for　someone　to　listen；　and　sometimes　as　if　she　was　talking　only　to　herself；　trying　to　understand　the　tale　she　was　telling。
　She　had　met　Jim　at　Pennsylvania　State　on　the　first　day　of　a　Shakespeare's　Tragedies　class。　He　had　taken　the　chair　to　her　left　and　she　had　hardly　noticed　him　until　the　professor　called　the　roll。　But　the　professor's　voice　had　risen　slightly　in　a　question　as　he　read　〃Jimmy　Willie　Hall〃　off　the　class　card。　The　professor　had　intended　no　rudeness　and　he　made　this　clear　by　nodding　in　acknowledgment　to　Jim's　〃Heah；〃　but　someone　in　the　back　of　the　room　had　sniggered　and　this　churlishness　to　a　stranger　had　embarrassed　Ellen；　embarrassed　her　all　the　more　because　she；　too；　had　smiled　at　the　ludicrous　sound。　She　had　glanced　at　the　young　man　with　the　outlandish　name　and　noticed　he　wore　cowboy　boots　and　had　a　wide…brimmed　gray　felt　hat　pushed　under　his　chair。　On　a　campus　where　styles　were　set　by　the　casual；　careless　conformity　of　young　men　from　Philadelphia　one　was　as　out　of　place　as　the　other。　And；　when　she　had　looked　at　him　again；　she　had　seen　that　while　his　face；　neck；　and　hands　were　incredibly　sunburned　his　forearms　about　the　wrists　were　as　white　as　the　shirt　he　was　wearing。
　〃He　looked　very　strange　and　out　of　place；〃　Ellen　said。　And　suddenly　she　laughed。　〃I　thought　he　would　be　lonely；〃　she　said；　sounding　incredulous。
　She　had　spoken　to　this　Jimmy　Willie　Hall　in　the　lecture　building　hallway。　Jim　had　said；　in　reply　to　her　ment　that　he　wasn't　from　the　East；　that　he　was　from　Hall；　New　Mexico；　and　when　she　had　asked　where　that　was；　he　had　said　he　wasn't　really　from　Hall；　exactly；　because　their　place　was　twenty　one　miles　northwest　of　there；　in　the　foothills　of　the　Oscura　Mountains。　It　was　just　that　they　picked　up　their　mail　at　Hall。　He　guessed　he　should　say　he　was　from　Corona；　which　was　larger　and　slightly　closer。
　The　conversation　had　been　inane　and　pointless；　Ellen　recalled；　as　exploratory　chats　with　strangers　tend　to　be。　She　asked　why；　if　Corona　was　larger　and　nearer；　they　picked　up　their　mail　at　Hall；　and　he　had　explained　that　there　was　no　road　from　the　Hall　ranch　to　Corona。　To　get　there　you　had　to　go　through　the　Oscura　Range　and　Jicarilla　Apache　Reservation　or　over　the　malpais…across　seven　miles　of　broken　lava　country。　You　can't　even　get　a　horse　over　that；　he　had　explained。　The　only　time　he　had　tried；　his　horse　had　broken　a　leg　and　he　had　been　bitten　by　a　rattlesnake。
　〃That　sounds　like　he　was　trying　to　impress　me；〃　she　said。　〃But　he　wasn't。　A　girl　can　tell　about　that。　He　was　just　telling　me　about　a　silly　mistake　he　had　made。〃　Ellen's　voice　stopped。　〃I　guess　I　knew　right　then　he　wasn't　lonely；〃　she　continued；　thoughtfully；　〃and　that　I　had　never　seen　anyone　like　him。〃
　He　had　seemed；　she　remembered；　like　someone　visiting　from　the　far　side　of　the　globe　her　father　kept　in　the　office　of　his　pharmacy…someone　pletely　foreign　to　all　she　knew。　As　different　from　the　men　she　had　dated　as　his　empty　Oscura　foothills　were　from　her　family's　elm…shaded　residential　street　in　a　Philadelphia　suburb。
　〃You　remember　Othello〃？〃　Ellen　asked　suddenly。
　〃Othello？〃　McKee　said；　surprised。
　〃Yes。　The　Moor　of　Venice。　We　studied　it　that　semester；　after　Hamlet。　You　remember　how　Desdemona　was　fascinated　by　Othello？〃
　〃I　remember；〃　McKee　said；　trying　to　remember。
　〃That　was　us；〃　Ellen　said。　〃That　was　our　private　joke。〃
　〃Remember　how　it　goes？〃　She　paused　a　moment。
　〃A　maiden　never　bold；
　Of　spirit　so　still　and　quiet　that　her　motion
　Blush'd　at　herself；　and　she…in　spite　of　nature；
　Of　years；　of　country；　credit；　everything…
　To　fall　in　love　with　what　she　fear'd　to　look　on！
　It　is　a　judgment　maim'd　and　most　imperfect。。。〃
　〃Yes；〃　said　McKee；　〃I　remember　it。〃　He　felt　immensely　sad。
　〃I　would　say　that；〃　Ellen　said；　〃and　Jim　would　say　Othello's　lines：
　〃It　was　my　hint　to　speak…such　was　the　process；
　And　of　the　Cannibals　that　each　other　eat。
　The　Anthropophagi；　and　men　whose　heads
　Do　grow　beneath　their　shoulders。　This　to　hear
　Would　Desdemona　seriously　incline。。。'〃
　Ellen　stopped　again。　And　when　she　continued　the　voice　was　shaky。
　〃I　loved　him　for　the　dangers　he　had　passed。
　And　he　loved　me　that　I　did　pity　them。〃
　McKee　reached　across　the　darkness　and　found　her　hand。　〃It's　going　to　be　all　right；〃　he　said。　〃We'll　get　out　of　here　and　find　him。〃
　〃Can't　you　understand？〃　she　asked；　and　her　voice　sounded　angry　now。　〃Why　should　I　pity　someone　like　Jim　Hall？　Why　should　anyone　pity　anybody　who　has　everything？〃
　McKee　couldn't　think　of　an　answer。
　〃Because　he　doesn't　know　he　has　everything？〃　Ellen　suggested。　〃Because　he　isn't　happy？
　〃Sometimes　he　is；　but　mostly　he　isn't。　He's　angry。　He　says　he's　caught　in　a　system　which　keeps　you　on　the　treadmill。　Forty　years　on　the　treadmill；　he　says。　He　talks　about　it　a　lot；　about　how　it　takes　a　million　dollars　to　beat　the　system；　to　pay　your　own　ransom；　to　buy　back　your　own　life。〃
　She　laughed　again；　a　bitter　sound。　〃I　guess　he。。。　Well；　I　guess　Jim　will　make　a　million　dollars；〃　she　said。
　〃Not　teaching　on　an　engineering　faculty；〃　McKee　said。
　〃Oh；　he's　not　going　to　do　that；〃　she　said。　〃He's　going　with　one　of　the　electronic　munications　products　panies　and　he's　bringing　along　one　of　his　patents；　so　it's　a　very　good　job。〃
　〃Is　that　what　he's　working　on　out　here？〃　McKee　asked。　〃Trying　it　out。〃
　〃Oh；　no。　This　is　another　one；　I　think。　I…well；　I　wish　I　understood　it　better。　Something　to　do　with　very　narrow…range　sound　transmission。　He　explained　it　to　me…quite　often…but　I　don't　really　understand　it。〃
　McKee　started　to　ask　her　why　she　was　looking　for　Dr。　Hall　and　bit　back　the　question。　The　answer　was　obvious；　and　none　of　his　business。　A　woman　who　loves　a　man　would　simply　want　to　see　him。
　〃Dr。　Canfield　was　nice；　he　was　nice；　a　nice　man；〃　Ellen　said。　〃But　he　was　too　polite　to　ask　why　I　was　chasing　after　Jim。　And　you've　been　nice；　too。　But　would　you　like　to　know？〃
　〃It's　your　private　business；〃　McKee　said。　〃No；　I　don't　want　to　know。〃
　〃I　want　to　tell　you。　I　have　to　tell　someone；〃　she　said。　〃I　came　because　I　wanted　to　tell　Jim…to　tell　him　that　I　think　he's　wrong；　and　he's　going　to　have　to　make　a　choice。　He's　got　to　quit　wanting　a　million　dollars。　He　has　to。　I've　e　all　the　way　out　here。　He　has　to