sk.dreamcatcher-第92部分

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edly　at　the　cereal　shelf　and　rubbing　his　forehead　like　a　man　with　a　severe　headache。　Considering　how　much　beer　he　put　away　last　night；　Jonesy　thinks；　a　headache　would　be　natural。　He's　ing　down　with　a　headache　himself；　one　that　beer　has　nothing　to　do　with；　it's　just　so　gosh…damn　hot　in　h…
　　　　He　straightens　up　a　little。　'Ringing；'　he　says　to　his　friends；　and　immediately　wishes　he'd　kept　his　mouth　shut；　because　they　lean　in　closer　than　ever。　Pete's　breath　is　fuckin　awful；　and　Jonesy　thinks；　What　do　you　do；　Petesky？　Brush　em　once　a　year；　whether　they　need　it　or　not？
　　　　The　phone　is　picked　up　on　the　third　ring。　'Yes；　hello？'　It's　Roberta；　but　sounding　distracted　and　upset　rather　than　cheery；　as　she　usually　does。　Not　that　it's　very　hard　to　figure　out　why；　in　the　background　he　can　hear　Duddits　bawling。　Jonesy　knows　that　Alfie　and　Roberta　don't　feel　that　crying　the　way　Jonesy　and　his　friends　do　…　they　are　grownups。　But　they　are　also　his　parents；　they　feel　some　of　it；　and　he　doubts　if　this　has　exactly　been　Mrs　Cavell's　favorite　morning。
　　　　Christ；　how　can　it　be　so　hot　in　here'；　What　did　they　load　that　fuckin　woodstove　up　with　this　morning；　anyway？　Plutonium？
　　　　'e　on；　who　is　it？'　Impatient；　which　is　also　pletely　unlike　Mrs　Cavell。　If　being　the　mother　of　a　special　person　like　Duddits　teaches　you　anything；　she　has　told　the　boys　on　many　occasions；　it's　patience。　Not　this　morning；　though。　This　morning　she　sounds　almost　pissed　off；　which　is　unthinkable。　'If　you're　selling　something；　I　can't　talk　to　you。　I'm　busy　right　now；　and　。　。　。'
　　　　Duddits　in　the　background；　trumpeting　and　walling。　You're　busy；　all　right；　Jonesy　thinks。　He's　been　going　on　like　that　since　dawn；　and　by　now　you　must　be　just　about　out　of　your　sneaker。
　　　　Henry　throws　an　elbow　into　Jonesy's　side　and　flicks　a　hand　at　him　…　Go　on！　Hurry　up！　…　and　although　it　hurts；　the　elbow　is　still　a　good　thing。　If　she　hangs　up　on　him；　Jonesy　will　have　to　deal　with　that　bitch　of　an　operator　again。
　　　　'Miz　Cavell　…　Roberta？　It's　me；　Jonesy。'
　　　　'Jonesy？'　He　senses　her　deep　relief；　she　has　wanted　so　badly　for　Duddie's　friends　to　call　that　she　half…believes　she　is　imagining　this。　'Is　it　really　you？'
　　　　'Yeah；'　he　says。　'Me　and　the　other　guys。'　He　holds　out　the　telephone。
　　　　'Hi；　Mrs　Cavell；'　Henry　says。
　　　　'Hey；　what's　up？'　is　Pete's　contribution。
　　　　'Hi；　beautiful；'　Beaver　says　with　a　goony　grin。　He　has　been　more　or　less　in　love　with　Roberta　from　the　day　they　met　her。
　　　　Lamar　Clarendon　looks　over　at　the　sound　of　his　son's　voice；　winces；　then　goes　back　to　his　contemplation　of　the　Cheerios　and　Shredded　Wheat。　Go　right　ahead；　Lamar　told　the　Beav　when　Beaver　said　they　wanted　to　call　Duddits。　Dunno　why　you'd　want　to　talk　to　that　meringue…head；　but　it's　your　buffalo　nickel。
　　　　When　Jonesy　puts　the　phone　back　to　his　ear；　Roberta　Cavell　is　saying：　…get　back　to　Derry？　I　thought　you　were　hunting　up　in　Kineo　or　someplace。'
　　　　'We're　still　up　here；'　Jonesy　says。　He　looks　around　at　his　friends　and　is　astounded　to　see　they　are　hardly　sweating　at　all　…　a　slight　sheen　on　Henry's　forehead；　a　few　beads　on　Pete's　upper　lip；　and　that's　all。　Totally　Weirdsville。　'We　just　thought　。　。　。　um　。　。　。　that　we　better　call。'
　　　　'You　knew。'　Her　voice　was　flat　…　not　unfriendly　but　unquestioning。
　　　　'Um　。　。　。'　He　pulls　at　his　flannel　shirt；　fanning　it　against　his　chest。　'Yeah。'　　
　　　　There　are　a　thousand　questions　most　people　would　ask　at　this　point；　probably　starting　with　How　did　you　know？　or　What　in　God's　name　is　wrong　with　him？　but　Roberta　isn't　most　people；　and　she　has　already　had　the　best　part　of　a　month　to　see　how　they　are　with　her　son。　What　she　says　is；　'Hold　on；　Jonesy。　I'll　get　him。'
　　　　Jonesy　waits。　Far　off　he　can　still　hear　Duddits　wailing　and　Roberta；　softer。　Talking　to　him。　Cajoling　him　to　the　phone。　Using　what　are　now　magic　words　in　the　Cavell　household：　Jonesy；　Beaver；Pete；　Henry。　The　blatting　moves　closer；　and　even　over　the　phone　Jonesy　can　feel　it　working　its　way　into　his　head；　a　blunt　knife　that　digs　and　gouges　instead　of　cutting。　Yowch。　Duddits's　crying　makes　Henry's　elbow　seem　like　a　love…tap。　Meanwhile；　the　old　jungle…juice　is　rolling　down　his　neck　in　rivers。　His　eyes　fix　on　the　two　signs　above　the　phone。　PLEASE　LIMIT　ALL　CALLS　TO　5　MINS；　reads　one。　PROFAINITY　NOT　TOLERIDED；　reads　the　other。　Beneath　this　someone　has　gouged　Who　the　fuck　says　so。　Then　Duddits　is　on；　those　awful　bellowing　cries　right　there　in　his　ear。　Jonesy　winces　against　them；　but　in　spite　of　the　pain　it　is　impossible　to　be　mad　at　Duds。　Up　here　they　are　four；　all　together。　Down　there　he　is　one；　all　alone；　and　what　a　strange　one　he　is。　God　has　hurt　him　and　blessed　him　at　the　same　time；　it　makes　Jonesy　giddy　just　to　think　of　it。
　　　　'Duddits；'　he　says。　'Duddits；　it's　us。　Jonesy　。　。　。'　　　　
　　　　He　hands　the　phone　to　Henry。　'Hi；　Duddits；　it's　Henry　。　。　。'
　　　　Henry　hands　the　phone　to　Pete。　'Hi；　Duds；　it's　Pete；　stop　crying　now；　it's　all　right　。　。　。'
　　　　Pete　hands　the　phone　to　Beaver；　who　looks　around；　then　stretches　the　phone　as　far　toward　the　corner　as　the　cord　will　allow。　Cupping　his　hand　over　the　mouthpiece　so　the　old　men　by　the　stove　（not　to　mention　his　own　old　man；　of　course）　won't　hear　him；　he　sings　the　first　two　lines　of　the　lullaby。　Then　he　falls　quiet；　listening。　After　a　moment　he　flashes　the　rest　of　them　a　thumb…and…forefinger　circle。　Then　he　hands　the　phone　back　to　Henry。
　　　　'Duds？　Henry　again。　It　was　just　a　dream；　Duddits。　It　wasn't　real。　Okay？　It　wasn't　real　and　it's　over。　Just　。　。　。'　Henry　listens。　Jonesy　takes　the　opportunity　to　strip　off　his　flannel　shirt。　The　tee…shirt　beneath　is　soaked　right　through。
　　　　There　are　a　billion　things　in　the　world　Jonesy　doesn't　know　…　what　kind　of　link　he　and　his　friends　share　with　Duddits；　for　one　…　but　he　knows　he　can't　stay　in　here　in　Gosselin's　much　longer。　He　feels　like　he's　in　the　goddam　stove；　not　just　looking　at　it。　Those　old　farts　around　the　checkerboard　must　have　ice　in　their　bones。
　　　　Henry　is　nodding。　'That's　right；　like　a　scary　movie。'　He　listens；　frowning。　'No；　you　didn't。　None　of　us　did。　We　didn't　hurt　him。　We　didn't　hurt　any　of　them。'
　　　　And　just　like　that　…　bingo　…　Jonesy　knows　they　did。　They　didn't　mean　to；　exactly；　but　they　did。　They　were　scared　Richie　would　make　good　on　his　threat　to　get　them　。　。　。　and　so　they　got　him　first。
　　　　Pete　is　holding　out　his　hand　and　Henry　says；　'Pete　wants　to　talk　to　you；　Dud。'
　　　　He　hands　the　phone　to　Pete　and　Pete　is　telling　Duddits　to　just　forget　it；　be　chilly；　Willy；　they'll　be　home　soon　and　they'll　all　play　the　game；　they'll　have　fun；　they'll　have　a　fuckin　roll；　but　in　the　meantime…
　　　　Jonesy　raises　his　eyes　and　sees　one　of　the　signs　over　the　phone　has　changed。　The　one　on　the　left　still　says　PLEASE　LIMIT　ALL　CALLS　TO　5　MINS；　but　the　one　on　the　right　now　says　WHY　NOT　GO　OUTSIDE　IT'S　COOLER。　And　that's　a　good　idea；　such　a　good　idea。　No　reason　not　to；　either　…　the　Duddits　situation　is　clearly　under　control。
　　　　But　before　he　can　make　his　move；　Pete　is　holding　the　phone　out　to　him　and　saying；　'He　wants　to　talk　to　you；　Jonesy。'
　　　　For　a　moment　he　almost　bolts　anyway；　thinking　to　hell　with　Duddits；　to　hell　with　all　of　them。　But　these　are　his　friends；　together　they　all　caught　the　same　terrible　dream；　did　something　they　didn't　mean　to　do
　　　　（liar　fuckin　liar　you　meant　it　you　did）
　　　　　and　their　eyes　hold　him　where　he　is　in　spite　of　the　heat；　which　is　now　clamped　around　his　chest　like　a　suffocating　pad。　Their　eyes　insist　that　he's　a　part　of　this　and　mustn't　leave　while　Duddits　is　still　on　the　phone。　It's　not　how　you　play　the　game。
　　　　It's　our　dream　and　it's　not　over　yet；　their　eyes　insist　…　Henry's　most　of　all。　It's　been　going　on　since　the　day　we　found　him　there　behind　Tracker　Brothers；　down　on　his　knees　and　all　but　naked。　He　sees　the　line　and　now　we　see　it；　too。　And　although　we　may　perceive　it　in　different　ways；　part　of　us　will　always　see　the　line。　We'll　see　it　until　the　day　we　die。
　　　　There's　something　else　in　their　eyes；　too；　something　that　will　haunt　them；　all　unacknowledged；　until　the　day　they　die；　and　cast　its　shadow　over　even　their　happiest　days。　The　fear　of　what　they　did。　What　they　did　in　the　unremembered　part　of　their　shared　dream。
　　　　That's　what　keeps　him　where　he　is　and　makes　him　tak