emb.seethemdie-第15部分

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f　a　boy。　And　now；　the　same　living…room；　called　a　〃parlor〃　as　it　was　in　Puerto　Rico；　the　same　colored　lights　in　the　ceiling　fixture；　the　same　peeling　paint；　the　same　long　tred　through　a　railroad　flat；　a　man　entering　a　bedroom　which　could　have　been　the　twin　of　the　one　he'd　slept　in　as　a　boy；　and　a　man　ing　face　to　face　with　a　boy　of　sixteen；　and　seeing　in　that　face　pain　and　trouble；　trouble　in　the　eyes　and　the　mouth；　and　Hernandez　the　man　suddenly　wondering　where　Hernandez　the　boy　had　gone。　And　wondering　what　had　been　lost　somewhere　along　the　way。
　〃This　is　Frankie　Hernandez；〃　Mrs。　Gomez　said。
　The　boy　regarded　him　without　hostility。　But　there　was　determination　in　his　eyes；　a　stubborn　mittment　to　reveal　nothing。　Hernandez　had　seen　this　look　before。　He　had　seen　it　in　the　squadroom　and　it　had　been　worn　by　hardened　criminals　and　by　docile　housewives；　it　was　the　same　look；　it　never　varied。　It　was　a　look　which　plainly　stated；　〃You　are　the　Law；　and　anything　I　tell　you　will　be　held　against　me。〃
　〃Hello；　Alfredo；〃　Hernandez　said。
　〃Hello；〃　the　boy　answered　warily。
　〃Your　mother's　worried　about　you。〃
　〃She　hass　nothin'　to　worry　abou'。〃
　〃Well；　she　seemed　to　think　so。　Came　all　the　way　over　to　the　police　station　because　she　thought　so。　What　about　it；　Alfredo？〃
　Alfredo　sighed　deeply。　〃I'm　goin'　to　church；　Mr　Hernandez；〃　he　said。　〃I　got　nothin'　to　tell　you。〃
　〃Your　mother　thinks　you've　got　plenty　to　tell　me。〃
　〃My　mother　doesn't　know。　She　don'　know　this　neighborhood。〃
　〃I　know　this　neighborhood；　Alfredo；〃　Hernandez　said　flatly；　and　their　eyes　met；　and　in　the　boy's　eyes　was　a　recalculation　now；　a　quick　estimate　of　Hemandez's　knowledge　of　the　streets；　an　appraisal　of　the　extent　to　which　he　was　a　neighborhood　boy；　and　the　extent　to　which　he　was　a　cop　like　all　the　rest。　〃Now　what's　all　this　about？〃　Hernandez　asked。
　Alfredo　made　his　decision　in　a　single　moment。　The　decision　changed　nothing。　Hernandez　could　not　help　him；　Hernandez　was　the　law；　there　was　nothing　he　could　tell　him。　〃It　ain't　abou'　nothin'；〃　he　said。
　〃Your　mother　said　somebody's　going　to　kill　you；　is　that　right？〃
　Alfredo　did　not　answer。
　〃Answer　me！〃　Hernandez　said；　and　he　seized　the　boy　by　the　shoulders　and　forced　the　contact；　forced　eyes　to　meet　eyes　levelly　and　honestly。　〃Answer　me！〃
　Alfredo　remained　mute；　his　eyes　probing　Hemandez's。　And　then　he　nodded。
　〃Who？〃　Hernandez　asked。
　〃The　。。。　the　boys；〃　Alfredo　answered。　His　shoulders　ached　where　Hernandez　gripped　him。　His　eyes　remained　locked　with　the　detective's。
　〃Why？〃
　〃No　reason；〃　Alfredo　said。
　〃Is　there　a　girl　involved　in　this？〃
　〃Si。〃
　Hernandez　released　his　grip　tiredly。　This　was　an　old　story；　and　he　had　heard　it　many　times　before。　〃What'd　you　do　to　the　girl？〃　he　asked。
　〃Nothin'。〃
　〃e　on。〃
　〃Nothin'。〃
　The　room　went　silent　again。　Hernandez　stared　at　the　boy。　Patiently；　he　asked；　〃Then　why　do　they　want　to　kill　you？〃
　〃To　show　they　big　shots；　thass　all；〃　Alfredo　said。　〃They　tink　iss　big　to　kill。〃　He　paused。　He　was　talking　more　freely　now；　but　he　still　wondered　how　far　he　could　trust　Hernandez。　In　a　very　low　voice；　he　said；　〃She　am'　even　his　girl。　China　ain'　nobody's　girl。〃
　〃You　must　have　done　something　to　the　girl！〃　Hernandez　said　angrily。
　〃Nothin'！　I　swear！　I　swear　on　my　mudder's　eyes。　Nothin'！　I　ony　say　hello　to　her。　She　a　nice　girl；　smilin'　an'　everything；　she　smile　at　everybody。　So　I　say　hello。　Iss　somethin'　wrong　with　dat？　On　the　islan'；　you　could　say　hello　to　girls；　nobody　bodder　you。　So　now　I　am　e　here　the　city；　an'　now　I　cann　say　hello。〃
　〃How　long　have　you　been　in　this　city？〃　Hernandez　asked。
　The　boy　shrugged　and　turned　to　his　mother。　〃Mama？〃
　〃He's　a　year　now；〃　she　said。　〃We　took　the　girl　over　first。　His　sister。　Alfredo　we　left　with　his　grandmother　in　San　Juan。　A　year　ago；　we　could　afford　to　bring　him　here；　too。〃
　〃Where's　the　girl　now？　Your　daughter？〃
　〃She　。belongs　to　the　Girl　Scouts。　Today；　they　went　on　a　picnic。　Honeyside　Beach；　you　know　that？〃
　〃Yes；〃　Hernandez　said。　〃You　like　this　city；　Alfredo？〃
　〃Sure。　I　e　from　La　Perla；　thass　where　my　gran'mudder　lives。　La　Perla；　thass　a　big　fanguito　in　San　Juan。　A　slom；　you　know？　Shacks。〃
　〃I　know　La　Perla。〃
　〃It　means　The　Pearl；　but　thass　jus'　a　joke；　you　know？　It's　not　sush　a　pearl。　Here　iss　better。　Not　so　poor；　you　know？　There；　it　iss　all　dirty　an'　mud；　an'　iss　poor　all　the　time。　Here　iss　better。〃　He　paused。　〃But　what　can　you　do　here？〃
　〃You　can　do　a　lot　here；　Alfredo。〃
　〃Yeah？　You　go　outside　the　neighborhood；　they　call　you　'spic。'　It's　my　fault　I　cann　speak　English　so　good？　How　I'm　spose　to　learn？　There's　only　one　teacher　in　all　my　high　school　who　speaks　Spanish！〃
　〃Others　have　learned　English；　Alfredo。〃
　〃Sure；　I　know。　I'm　tryin'；　ain'　I？　I　do　pretty　good；　don't　I？〃
　〃You　do　fine。〃
　〃Still。。。〃
　〃Still　what？〃
　〃Am　I　。。。　am　I　spose　to　join　a　gang　or　somethin'？〃
　〃Do　you　belong　to　a　gang　now；　Alfredo？〃
　〃No；　I　don'　belong　no　gang。　In　Puerto　Rico；　we　don'　have　this　bullshit；　these　gangs　like　here。　In　Puerto　Rico；　you　can　say　hello　to　girls；　you　can　hang　aroun'　like　whoever　you　want；　you　know？　An'　there's　none　of　these　dope。　The　kids　here　take　dope。　So　I　don'　wann　take　dope；　an'　I　don'　wann　belong　to　no　gang。　I　ony　wann　to　go　my　own　way；　nobody　should　bodder　me。〃
　〃So　how'd　you　get　into　this　mess？〃　Hernandez　asked。
　〃I　say　hello！　I　swear　to　God；　all　I　say　is　hello！　So　Zip；　he。。。〃　Alfredo　cut　himself　short。
　〃Who？〃　Hernandez　said　quickly。
　Alfredo　was　silent　for　several　seconds。　Then；　as　if　finally　mitting　himself；　he　said；　〃Okay。　Zip。　He　sees　me　an'　he　says　I　bodderin'　his　girl。　He　says　I　don'　go　to　church　or　they　wash　me。〃
　〃You　ever　been　in　trouble　with　this　Zip　before？〃
　〃Once　or　twice。　Like　he　try　to　shake　me　down　at　school；　you　know？　We　go　the　same　school。〃
　〃What　school　is　that？〃
　〃A　trade　school。　I'm　learn　a　job。〃
　〃What　kind　of　job？〃
　〃Automotive。　But　thass　not　what　I　wann　to　be。〃
　〃What　do　you　want　to　be？〃
　〃I　wann　study　radio。　So　when　I　wass　in　junior　high　school；　I　go　the　adviser；　you　know？　I　say；　'I　wann　study　radio。'　She　tell　me　I　should　be　an　automotive。　She　says　iss　better　for　a　Spanish　kid。　She　says　iss　better　opportunity。　But　I　still　wann　study　radio。〃
　〃Why　don't　you　tell　this　to　someone　at　your　school？〃
　〃Oh；　I　don'　know。　Who's　to　listen？　Sometimes　I　feel　。。。　I　don'　know。。。　like　as　if　bein'　here　I'm　jus'。。。　not　a　real　human　bein'；　you　know？　Like　I　feel　。。。　secondhand。〃
　Hemandez　nodded。　〃What　happened　with　this　Zip？　When　he　tried　to　shake　you　down？〃
　〃Oh；　I　give　him　my　lunch　money；〃　Alfredo　said。　〃It　wass　ony　a　quarter。　I　dinn　want　bad　blood　with　him。〃
　〃And　that　was　the　extent　of　it？　And　you　haven't　had　any　trouble　with　him　since　that　time？〃
　〃Never。　Like　he's　ony　new　aroun'　here；　you　know？　Maybe　he　lives　here　fi'；　six　months。　He　e　from　somewhere　downtown；　you　know？　So　I　don'　bodder　with　him；　I　ony　want　to　go　my　own　way；　thass　all。　I　don'　like　this　。。。　I　mean　。。。　look；　they　go　aroun'　stomping　people　。。。　they　have　these　street　bops　。。。　what　I　got　to　fight　for？　For　what？　I'm　here　this　city　now；　so　here　should　be　better；　not　worse　than　Puerto　Rico。　So　why　I　got　to　bodder　with　kids　like　Zip？　He　thinks　to　be　big　is　to　kill。〃　Alfredo　paused　and　then　stared　solemnly　at　Hernandez。　〃To　be　big　is　to　live；　no？〃　he　asked。
　〃Yes；　Alfredo。〃
　〃Sure。　But　he's　leader　of　the　Latin　Purples。　So　I　don'　belong　no　gang；　no　Royal　Guardians；　no　Spanish　Dukes；　nothin'。　So　who's　to　protec'　me？〃
　〃I'm　to　protect　you；　Alfredo。〃
　〃You？　What　can　you　do？　You　tink　they　afraid　of　cops？　If　I　don'　show　in　the　street；　they　call　me　turkey；　they　say　I　afraid　of　them。　So　den　everybody　laugh　at　me。　So　den　how　can　I　walk　the　street？　If　I　be　turkey；　how　can　I　walk　the　street？〃
　〃It's　not　turkey　to　want　to　live；　Alfredo。　Every　man　wants　to　live。〃
　〃I　tell　you　the　truth；　I'm　tired；〃　Alfredo　said。　〃I'm　tired　of　walkin'　alone。　You　walk　alone；　they　all　pick　on　you。　But　I'm　spose　to　join　a　gang？　I'm　spose　to　go　aroun'　shootin'　people？
　What　for　I　want　to　shoot　people？〃
　〃Don't　leave　the　apartment　today；　Alfredo；〃　Hernandez　said。
　〃You'll　be　safe　here。　I'll　see　to　that。〃　〃And　tomorrow？〃　Alfredo　asked。　〃What　about　tomorrow？〃　〃We'll　see。　Maybe　this'll　all