emb.seethemdie-第33部分

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　The　door　opened　wider。　Carella's　eyes　panned　up　from　the　。45；　the　hand　holding　it；　the　thin　wrist；　the　black　hair　curling　on　the　arm；　the　narrow　shoulders；　the　sweat…stained　undershirt；　the　sudden　puff　of　black　hair　in　the　hollow　of　the　throat；　the　wings　of　the　man's　collarbones；　his　thin　neck；　and　high　cheekbones；　brown　eyes；　puffed　lids；　a　balding　head；　and　desperation。　Add　a　man　up；　add　the　parts；　form　a　total　picture；　and　the　total　is　desperation。　It　was　there　in　Miranda's　eyes　and　in　his　mouth　and　even　in　the　way　he　held　the　。45；　his　head　tilted　to　one　side；　his　shoulder　sort　of　leaning　into　the　gun；　the　gun　close　to　his　body　as　if　it　were　something　he　cherished；　a　tie　to　reality。
　〃e　in　a　minute；〃　Miranda　said。
　Carella　stepped　into　the　apartment。　The　place　was　a　shambles。　The　furniture；　the　floors；　everything　in　the　room　bore　the　ravaging　marks　of　gunfire。　It　was　inconceivable　to　think　that　a　human　being　had　been　in　this　bullet…pocked　room　and　managed　to　escape　getting　shot。
　〃Looks　like　they　dropped　an　atom　bomb　in　here；　don't　it？〃　Miranda　said。
　〃Yes；〃　Carella　answered。
　〃You're　not　scared；　are　you？　They　won't　shoot　with　you　in　here；　it's　all　right。〃
　Carella　nodded。　He　was　not　scared。　It　was　only　。。。　he　felt　odd　all　at　once。　He　did　not　feel　like　a　cop。　Miranda　was　not　treating　him　as　if　he　were　a　cop。　Miranda　was　behaving　as　if　he　were　truly　a　priest；　a　person　he　could　talk　to；　relax　with。　He　wanted　to　say；　〃I'm　not　what　you　think；　Miranda！　Don't　show　yourself　to　me！〃　but　the　words　would　not　e。
　〃Boy；　this　has　been　murder；〃　Miranda　said。　〃Look；　I　didn't　ask　you　up　here　to　confess　to　you　or　nothing。　I　think　we　ought　to　get　that　straight。〃
　〃Then　why　did　you　ask　me　to　e　up？〃
　〃Well。。。〃　Miranda　shrugged。　He　seemed　like　a　young　kid　in　that　moment；　a　young　kid　who　is　about　to　tell　a　priest　that　he　took　off　a　girl's　underpants　on　the　roof。　Carella　kept　staring　at　him。　Miranda　held　the　。45　in　his　hand　loosely；　expecting　no　trouble　from　this　man　he　thought　was　a　priest；　embarrassed　because　he　was　about　to　reveal　something；　dishonorable　to　him。　〃I'll　put　it　to　you　straight；　Father；〃　he　said。　〃I　got　to　get　out　of　this　apartment。〃
　〃Yes？〃
　〃So　。。。　so　you're　going　to　take　me　out。〃
　〃I　am？〃
　Miranda　nodded。　〃I　know　that's　pretty　crumby。　But　I　got
　to　get　out　of　here。〃…〃Where　do　you　go　from　here；　Pepe？〃
　〃I　don't　know。〃　Miranda　shook　his　head。　〃You　know；　Father；　you　reach　the　point　where　。。。　where　there　ain't　many　places　left　to　go。〃　He　laughed　nervously。　〃Where。。。〃　He　laughed　again。　〃I　don't　know。　I　don't　know　where　I'll　go　once　I　get　out　of　here。〃
　〃There're　a　lot　of　cops　out　there；　Pepe。〃
　〃Yeah；　I　know。〃　He　sighed。　〃Man；　this　kind　of　stuff　。。。　I　hate　this　kind　of　Public　Enemy　Number　One　stuff；　you　dig？　I　just　hate　it。　Oh　man；　it's　like　。。。　like　something　is　expected　of　me；　you　know　what　I　mean？　I've　got　to　be　the　bad　guy。　I　don't　know　if　it　makes　any　sense　to　you；　Father。〃
　〃I'm　not　sure　it　does；〃　Carella　answered；　puzzled。
　〃Well；　like　。。。　like　there　are　sides。　I'm　the　bad　guy。〃　He　shrugged。　〃I've　always　been　the　bad　guy。　Ever　since　I　was　a　kid。　So　I'm　still　the　bad　guy。　They　expect　me　to　be　the　bad　guy。　The　people；　I　mean。　It's　like　。。。　I　don't　know　if　I　can　explain　this。　It's　like　sometimes　I　don't　know　who　is　the　real　Pepe　Miranda；　and　who　is　the　guy　I　。。。　the　pictures　of　the　guy；　you　follow？　The　various　pictures　of　the　guy。〃
　〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean；〃　Carella　said。
　〃The　pictures；〃　Miranda　repeated。　〃Like　the　cops　have　a　picture　of　me。〃　He　chuckled。　〃It's　got　a　number　right　across　the　face　of　it。〃　He　chuckled　again。　〃And　the　people　in　the　street　got　another　picture　of　me。　And　the　kids　got　a　picture。　And　you　got　a　picture。　But　they're　all　different　pictures；　and　none　of　them　are　really　me；　Pepe　Miranda。〃
　〃Then　who　is？〃　Carella　asked。
　〃I　don't　know。〃
　〃You've　killed　people；　Pepe。〃
　〃Yeah。〃　He　paused。　〃I　know。〃　He　shrugged；　but　it　was　not　a　shrug　of　indifference；　not　a　shrug　which　said；　〃So　I　killed　r　people；　so　what？〃　If　it　had　been　that；　Carella　would　have　instantly　felt　like　a　cop　again。　But　it　was　not　that。　It　was　simply　a　shrug　which　said；　〃I　know　I've　killed　people；　but　I　don't　know　why；〃　and　so　Carella　still　felt　like　a　man　who　had　e　up　here　to　talk　to　Miranda；　not　to　harm　him。
　〃Well；　anyway；〃　Miranda　said；　〃I've　got　to　get　out　of　here。〃
　〃Because　the　people　in　the　street　expect　it？〃　Carella　asked。
　〃No。　No；　I　don't　think　that's。。。〃
　〃Then　why？〃
　〃Well。。。〃　Miranda　sighed　heavily。　〃I　ain't　got　a　chance；　Father；〃　he　said　simply。
　〃Then　give　up。〃
　〃Why？　Go　to　jail？　Maybe　the　electric　chair　if　that　woman　dies？　Don't　you　see？　I　got　nothing　to　lose。〃
　He　recognized　in　an　instant　that　Miranda　was　absolutely　right。　Moreover；　if　Carella　were　in　his　position；　in　this　apartment；　surrounded　by　policemen；　facing　either　a　lifelong　jail　sentence　or　death　in　the　electric　chair；　he　would　undoubtedly　react　in　exactly　the　way　that　Miranda　was　reacting。　He　would　try　to　get　out　of　that　apartment　by　fair　means　or　foul。　He　would　try　to　escape。
　〃Well。。。〃　he　said；　and　he　fell　silent。
　The　two　men　faced　each　other。
　〃You　see　what　I　mean；　Father？〃
　〃Well。。。〃
　Miranda　shrugged。　The　apartment　was　silent。
　〃So　。。。　so　I　got　to　use　you　as　a　shield；　Father。　They　won't　shoot　if　I　e　out　with　you　in　front　of　me。〃
　〃Suppose　they　refuse　to　recognize　。。。〃
　〃Oh；　they　won't。　They　won't　try　nothing。　I'll　tell　them　I'll　shoot　you　if　they　try　anything。〃
　〃And　if　they　should　try　something？　Will　you　shoot　me；　Pepe？〃
　Pepe　Miranda　frowned。
　〃Will　you；　Pepe？〃
　After　a　long　while　he　said；　〃I　got　to　get　out　of　this　apartment；　Father。　I　got　to　get　out　of　here！〃
　There　were　two　patrolmen　on　either　side　of　the　stoop。　Captain　Frick　had　chosen　them　from　his　ranks；　had　chosen　four　of　his　best　shots；　and　then　they　had　gone　to　Lieutenant　Byrnes　for　their　instructions。　Their　instructions　were　simple。　Shoot　to　kill。
　And　so　they　waited　on　either　side　of　the　doorway　now；　four　marksmen　with　their　pistols　drawn；　waiting　for　something　to　happen。
　From　the　first…floor　windows　of　the　tenement；　Miranda's　voice　came。
　〃Lieutenant！〃
　〃Yes？〃
　〃This　is　Miranda！　I've　got　the　priest。　I'm　ing　out。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean；　Miranda？　You're　giving　up？〃
　〃Giving　up；　my　ass！　The　priest　is　ing　out　with　me。　If　you've　got　any　cops　in　the　hallway；　you'd　better　get　them　out　now。　You　hear　me？〃
　〃It's　gonna　work；〃　Parker　whispered　to　Byrnes。
　〃There　are　no　policemen　in　the　hallway；　Miranda。〃
　〃There　better　not　be。　I　want　a　clear　path　when　I　e　out。　This　priest　is　staying　with　me　all　the　way。　Anybody　so　much　as　looks　cockeyed　at　me；　the　priest　gets　it。〃
　〃I　thought　you　made　a　promise；　Miranda。〃
　〃Don't　make　me　laugh！　I'm　ing　out。〃
　Byrnes　put　down　the　megaphone　and　quickly　drew　his　revolver。　He　turned　slightly；　so　that　his　body　hid　the　revolver　which　hung　in　his　hand　alongside　his　right　thigh。　Parker　drew　his　gun；　too；　and　then　looked　around　for　a　good　spot　from　which　to　fire。　Behind　the　squad　car？　No；　no。　There！　There　was　a　place！　The　packing　crate　over　there。　He　pushed　his　way　through　the　crowd　and　climbed　onto　the　crate。　He　checked　the　chambers　of　his　。38；　wiped　his　upper　lip；　and　then　faced　the　doorway。　The　street　was　very　silent　now。　Upstairs；　inside　the　building；　they　could　hear　a　door　slamming。
　〃Any　cops　in　the　hallway？〃　Miranda　shouted。　〃Any　cops　here？〃
　There　was　no　answer。　Standing；　watching　the　doorway；　watching　the　patrolmen　flanking　the　stoop；　Byrnes　thought；　All　he　has　to　do　is　turn　his　head。　He'll　see　the　patrolmen；　and　he'll　put　a　bullet　in　Steve's　back。　That's　all　he　has　to　do。　Patiently；　Byrnes　held　his　breath。
　〃I　got　the　priest；〃　Miranda　shouted　from　the　hallway。　〃Don't　try　nothing；　you　hear？〃
　The　crowd　had　turned　toward　the　doorway　to　the　building。　They　could　see　nothing　beyond　the　door。　The　hallway　was　dark；　and　the　bright　sunshine　did　not　reach　beyond　the　flat　top　step　of　the　stoop。
　〃Clear　a　path！〃　Miranda　shouted。　〃Clear　a　path；　or　I'll　shoot　into　the　crowd！　I　don't　care　who　gets　hurt！〃
　The　crowd　could　see　a　pair　of　figures　in　the　hallway　now；　dimly。　The　priest　was　almost　invisible　because　of　his　black　cassock；　but　Miranda　could　be　seen　fairly　clearly