osc.am2.redprophet-第23部分

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o　give　visions　to　the　boy；　not　to　be　seen　as　himself；　a　whisky…Red　with　one　eye　missing。
　　What　vision　will　I　show　him？
　　Lolla…Wossiky　reached　inside　his　White　man's　trousers　to　where　tie　still　wore　his　loincloth；　and　pulled　his　knife　from　its　sheath。　He　held　both　his　hands　high；　the　one　holding　the　knife。　Then　he　closed　his　eye。
　　The　boy　still　didn't　see　him；　his　eyes　were　closed。　So　Lolla…Wossiky　gathered　the　white　light　he　could　feel　around　him；　gathered　it　close　to　himself；　so　that　he　could　feel　himself　shining　brighter　and　brighter。　The　light　came　from　his　skin；　so　he　tore　open　the　breast　of　the　White　man's　shirt　he　wore；　then　raised　his　hands　again。　Now；　even　through　closed　eyelids；　the　boy　could　see　the　brightness；　and　he　opened　his　eyes。
　　Lolla…Wossiky　felt　the　boy's　terror　at　the　sight　of　the　apparition　he　had　bee：　a　bright　and　shining　Red　man；　one…eyed；　with　a　sharp　knife　in　his　hand。　But　it　wasn't　fear　Lolla…Wossiky　wanted。　No　one　should　fear　his　own　dream　beast。　So　he　sent　the　light　outward　to　the　boy；　to　include　him；　and　with　the　light　he　sent　calm；　calm；　don't　be　scared。
　　The　boy　relaxed　a　little；　but　still　wriggled　up　in　his　bed；　so　he　was　sitting　up；　leaning　against　the　wall。
　　It　was　time　to　begin　to　wake　the　boy　from　his　life　of　sleep。　How　did　Lolla…Wossiky　know　what　to　do？　No　man；　Red　or　White；　had　ever　been　another　man's　dream　beast。　Yet　he　knew　without　thinking　what　he　ought　to　do。　What　the　boy　needed　to　see　and　feel。　Whatever　came　to　Lolla…Wossiky's　mind　that　felt　right　to　do；　that　was　what　he　did。
　　Lolla…Wossiky　took　his　shining　knife　and　brought　the　blade　against　his　other　palm　　and　cut。　Sharp；　hard；　deep；　so　blood　leapt　from　the　wound；　rushed　down　his　forearm　to　gather　and　pool　in　his　sleeve。　Quickly　it　began　to　drip　on　the　floor。
　　The　pain　came　suddenly；　a　moment　later；　Lolla…Wossiky　knew　at　once　how　to　take　the　pain　and　make　it　into　a　picture　and　put　it　into　the　boy's　mind。　The　picture　of　his　sisters'　room　as　a　small　weak　creature　saw　it。　Rushing　in；　hungering；　hungering；　looking　for　the　food；　certain　that　the　food　was　there；　on　the　soft　body　was　the　promise；　climb　the　body；　find　the　food。　But　great　hands　slapped　and　brushed；　and　the　small　creature　was　thrown　onto　the　floor。　The　floor　shook　with　giant　footfalls；　a　sudden　shadow；　the　agony　of　death。
　　Again　and　again；　each　small　life；　hungering；　trusting；　and　then　betrayed；　crushed；　battered。
　　Many　lived；　but　they　cowered；　they　scurried；　they　fled。　The　sisters'　room；　the　room　of　death；　yes；　they　fled　from　there。　But　better　to　stay　there　and　die　than　run　into　the　other　room；　the　room　of　lies。　Not　words；　there　were　no　words　in　the　small　creature's　life；　there　were　no　thoughts　that　could　be　named　as　thoughts。　But　the　fear　of　death　in　the　one　place　was　not　as　strong　as　another　kind　of　fear；　the　fear　of　a　world　gone　crazy；　a　place　where　anything　could　happen；　where　nothing　could　be　trusted；　where　nothing　was　certain。　A　terrible　place。
　　Lolia…Wossiky　ended　the　vision。　The　boy　was　pressing　his　hands　against　his　eyes；　sobbing　desperately。　Lolla…Wossiky　had　never　seen　anyone　so　tortured　by　remorse；　the　vision　Lolla…Wossiky　had　given　him　was　stronger　than　any　dream　a　man　could　imagine　for　himself。　I　am　a　terrible　dream　beast；　thought　Lolla…Wossiky。　He　will　wish　I　hadn't　wakened　him。　In　dread　of　his　own　strength；　Lolla…Wossiky　opened　his　eye。
　　At　once　the　boy　disappeared；　and　Lolla…Wossiky　knew　that　the　boy　would　think　that　Lolla…Wossiky　had　also　disappeared。　What　now？　he　thought。　Am　I　here　to　make　this　boy　crazy？　To　give　him　a　terrible　thing；　as　bad　as　the　black　noise　was　to　me？
　　He　could　see　from　the　shaking　of　the　bed；　the　movement　of　the　bedclothes；　that　the　boy　was　still　crying　passionately。　Lolla…Wossiky　closed　his　eye；　and　again　sent　the　light　to　the　boy。　Calm；　calm。
　　The　boy's　weeping　became　a　whimper；　and　he　looked　again　at　Lolla…Wossiky；　who　was　still　shining　with　a　dazzling　light。
　　Lolla…Wossiky　didn't　know　what　to　do。　While　he　was　silent　and　uncertain；　Alvin　began　to　speak；　to　plead。　〃I'm　sorry；　I'll　never　do　it　again；　I'll〃
　　Babbling　on　and　on。　Lolla…Wossiky　pushed　more　light　at　him；　to　help　him　see　better。　It　came　to　the　boy　almost　as　a　question。　What　will　you　never　do　again？
　　Alvin　couldn't　answer；　didn't　know。　What　was　it　he　actually　did？　Was　it　because　he　sent　the　roaches　to　die？
　　He　looked　at　the　Shining　Man　and　saw　an　image　of　a　Red　kneeling　before　a　deer；　calling　it　to　e　and　die；　the　deer　came；　trembling；　afraid；　the　Red　loosed　his　arrow　and　it　stood　quivering　on　the　deer's　flank；　the　deer's　legs　wobbled；　and　it　fell。　It　wasn't　the　dying　or　the　killing　that　was　his　sin；　because　dying　and　killing　were　a　part　of　life。
　　Was　it　the　power　he　had？　The　knack　he　had　for　making　things　go　just　where　he　wanted；　to　break　just　at　the　right　place；　or　fit　together　so　tight　that　they　joined　forever　without　any　gluing　or　hammering。　The　knack　he　had　for　making　things　do　what　he　wanted；　arrange　themselves　in　the　right　order。　Was　it　that？
　　Again　he　looked　at　the　Shining　Man；　and　now　he　saw　a　vision　of　himself　pressing　his　hands　against　a　stone；　and　the　stone　melted　like　butter　under　his　hands；　came　out　in　just　the　shape　he　wanted；　smooth　and　whole；　fell　from　the　side　of　the　mountain　and　rolled　away；　a　perfect　ball；　a　perfect　sphere；　growing　and　growing　until　it　was　a　whole　world；　shaped　just　the　way　his　hands　had　made　it；　with　trees　and　grass　springing　up　in　its　face；　and　animals　running　and　leaping　and　flying　and　swimming　and　crawling　and　burrowing　on　and　above　and　beneath　the　ball　of　stone　that　he　had　made。　No；　it　wasn't　a　terrible　power；　it　was　a　glorious　one；　if　he　only　knew　how　to　use　it。
　　If　it　isn't　the　dying　and　it　isn't　the　power；　what　did　I　do　wrong？
　　This　time　the　Shining　Man　didn't　show　him　anything。　This　time　Alvin　didn't　have　the　answer　e　to　him　in　a　vision。　This　time　he　studied　it　out　in　his　mind。　He　felt　like　he　couldn't　understand；　he　was　too　stupid　to　understand；　and　then　suddenly　he　knew。
　　It　was　because　he　did　it　for　himself。　It　was　because　the　roaches　thought　he　was　doing　it　for　them；　and　really　he　was　doing　it　for　himself。　Hurting　the　roaches；　his　sisters；　everyone；　making　everyone　suffer　and　all　for　what？　Because　Alvin　Miller　Junior　was　angry　and　wanted　to　get　even
　　Now　he　looked　at　the　Shining　Man　and　saw　a　fire　leap　from　his　single　eye　and　strike　him　in　the　heart。　〃I'll　never　use　it　for　myself　again；〃　murmured　Alvin　Junior；　and　when　he　said　the　words　he　felt　as　though　his　heart　were　on　fire；　it　burned　so　hot　inside。　And　then　the　Shining　Man　disappeared　again。
　　Lolla…Wossiky　stood　panting；　his　head　spinning。　He　felt　weak；　weary。　He　had　no　idea　what　the　boy　had　been　thinking。　He　only　knew　what　visions　to　send　him；　and　then　at　the　end；　no　vision　at　all；　just　to　stand　there；　that's　all　he　was　to　do；　stand　there　and　stand　there　until；　suddenly；　he　sent　a　strong　pulse　of　fire　at　the　boy　and　buried　it　in　his　heart。
　　And　now　what？　Twice　now　he　had　closed　his　eye　and　appeared　to　the　boy。　Was　he　through？　He　knew　that　he　was　not。
　　For　the　third　time　Lolla…Wossiky　closed　his　eye。　Now　he　could　see　that　the　boy　was　much　brighter　than　he　was；　that　the　light　had　passed　from　him　into　the　child。　And　then　he　understood　　he　was　the　boy's　dream　beast；　yes；　but　the　boy　was　also　his。　Now　it　was　time　for　him　to　wake　up　from　his　dream　life。
　　He　took　three　steps　and　knelt　beside　the　bed；　his　face　only　a　little　way　from　the　boy's　small　and　frightened　face；　which　now　shone　so　brightly　that　Lolla…Wossiky　could　hardly　see　that　it　was　a　child　and　not　a　man　who　looked　at　him。　What　do　I　want　from　him？　Why　am　I　here？　What　can　he　give　me；　this　powerful　child？
　　〃Make　all　things　whole；〃　Lolla…Wossiky　whispered。　He　spoke；　not　in　English；　but　in　Shaw…Nee。
　　Did　the　boy　understand？　Alvin　raised　his　small　hand；　reached　out　gently　and　touched　Lolla…Wossiky's　cheek；　under　the　broken　eye。　Then　he　raised　his　finger　until　it　touched　the　slack　eyelid。
　　There　was　a　cracking　sound　in　the　air；　and　a　spark　of　light。　The　boy　gasped　and　drew　back　his　hand。　Lolla…Wossiky　didn't　see　him；　though；　because　suddenly　the　boy　was　invisible。　But　Lolla…Wossiky　had　no　care　for　what　he　saw；