dk.coldfire-第82部分

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　She　could　almost　feel　them　waiting　to　dazzle　with　the　first　turn　of　a　page；　e　alive　with　brilliant　colors　and　pungent　odors　and　delicious　aromas；　with　laughter　and　sobbing　and　cries　and　whispers。　
　Books　were　packaged　dreams。　
　〃Dreams　are　doorways；〃　she　told　Jim；　〃and　the　story　in　any　novel　is　a　kind　of　dream。　Through　Arthur　Willott's　dream　of　alien　contact　and　adventure；　you　found　a　doorway　out　of　your　despair；　an　escape　from　a　crushing　sense　of　having　failed　your　mother　and　father。〃　He　had　been　unrelievedly　pale　since　she　had　shown　him　the　tablet　with　The　Friend's　answers。　HE　LOVES　YOU　HOLLY/HE　WILL　KILL　YOU　HOLLY。　Now　some　color　had　returned　to　his　face。　His　eyes　were　still　ghost…ridden；　and　worry　clung　to　him　like　shadows　to　the　night；　but　he　seemed　to　be　feeling　his　way　toward　an　acmodation　with　all　the　lies　that　were　his　life。　
　Which　was　what　frightened　The　Enemy　in　him。　And　made　it　desperate。　
　Mrs。　Glynn　had　returned　from　the　stacks。　She　was　working　at　her　desk。　
　Lowering　her　voice　even　further；　Holly　said　to　Jim；　〃But　why　would　you　hold　yourself　to　blame　for　the　traffic　accident　that　killed　them？　And　how　could　any　kid　that　age　have　such　a　tremendously　heavy　sense　of　responsibility？〃　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　don't　know。〃　
　Remembering　what　Corbett　Handahl　had　told　her；　Holly　put　a　hand　on　Jim's　knee　and　said；　〃Think；　honey。　Did　the　accident　happen　when　they　were　on　the　road　with　this　mentalist　act　of　theirs？〃　He　hesitated；　frowned。　〃Yes。　。　。　on　the　road。〃　
　〃You　traveled　with　them；　didn't　you？〃　He　nodded。　
　Recalling　the　photograph　of　his　mother　in　a　glittery　gown；　Jim　and　his　father　in　tuxedos；　Holly　said；　〃You　were　part　of　the　act。〃　
　Some　of　his　memories　apparently　were　rising　like　the　rings　of　light　had　risen　in　the　pond。　The　play　of　emotions　in　his　face　could　not　have　been　faked；　he　was　genuinely　astonished　to　be　moving　out　of　a　life　of　darkness。　
　Holly　felt　her　own　excitement　growing　with　his。　She　said；　〃What　did　you　do　in　the　act？〃　〃It　was。　。　。　a　form　of　stage　magic。　My　mom　would　take　objects　from　people　in　the　audience。　My　dad　would　work　with　me；　and　we　would。　
　。　。　
　I　would　hold　the　objects　and　pretend　to　have　psychic　impressions；　tell　the　people　things　about　themselves　that　I　couldn't　know。〃　
　〃Pretend？〃　she　asked。　
　He　blinked。　〃Maybe　not。　It's　so　strange。　。　。　how　little　I　remember　even　when　I　try。〃　
　〃It　wasn't　a　trick。　You　could　really　do　it。　That's　why　your　folks　put　together　the　act　in　the　first　place。　You　were　a　gifted　child。〃　
　He　ran　his　fingers　down　the　Bro　Dart…protected　jacket　of　The　Black　Windmill。　〃But。　。　。〃　
　〃But？〃　〃There's　so　much　I　still　don't　understand。　。　。　。〃　
　〃Oh；　me　too；　kiddo。　But　we're　getting　closer；　and　I　have　to　believe　that's　a　good　thing。〃　
　A　shadow；　cast　from　within；　stole　across　his　face　again。　
　Not　wanting　to　see　him　slip　back　into　a　darker　mood；　Holly　said；　〃e　on。〃　She　picked　up　the　book　and　took　it　to　the　librarian's　desk。　
　Jim　followed　her。　
　The　energetic　Mrs。　Glynn　was　drawing　on　posterboard　with　a　rainbow　of　colored　pencils　and　magic　markers。　The　colorful　images　were　of　wellrendered　boys　and　girls　dressed　as　spacemen；　spelunkers；　sailors；　acrobats；　and　jungle　explorers。　She　had　penciled　in　but　not　yet　colored　the　message：　THIS　IS　A　LIBRARY。　KIDS　AND　ADVENTURERS　WELE。　
　ALL　OTHERS　STAY　OUT！　〃Nice；〃　Holly　said　sincerely；　indicating　the　poster。　〃You　really　put　yourself　into　this　job。〃　
　〃Keeps　me　out　of　barrooms；〃　Mrs。　Glynn　said；　with　a　grin　that　made　it　clear　why　any　kid　would　like　her。　
　Holly　said；　〃My　fiance　here　has　spoken　so　highly　of　you。　Maybe　you　don't　remember　him　after　twenty…five　years。〃　
　Mrs。　Glynn　looked　speculatively　at　Jim。　
　He　said；　〃I'm　Jim　Ironheart；　Mrs。　Glynn。〃　
　〃Of　course　I　remember　you！　You　were　the　most　special　little　boy。〃　
　She　got　up；　leaned　across　the　desk；　and　insisted　on　getting　a　hug　from　Jim。　
　Releasing　him；　turning　to　Holly；　she　said；　〃So　you're　going　to　be　marrying　my　Jimmy。　That's　wonderful！　A　lot　of　kids　have　passed　through　here　since　I've　been　running　the　place；　even　for　a　town　this　small；　and　I　can't　pretend　I'd　remember　all　of　them。　But　Jimmy　was　special。　He　was　a　very　special　boy。〃　
　Holly　heard；　again；　how　Jim　had　had　an　insatiable　appetite　for　fantasy　fiction；　how　he'd　been　so　terribly　quiet　his　first　year　in　town；　and　how　he'd　been　totally　mute　during　his　second　year；　after　the　sudden　death　of　his　grandmother。　
　Holly　seized　that　opening：　〃You　know；　Mrs。　Glynn；　one　of　the　reasons　Jim　brought　me　back　here　was　to　see　if　we　might　like　to　live　in　the　farmhouse；　at　least　for　a　while…〃　〃It's　a　nicer　town　than　it　looks；〃　Mrs。　Glynn　said。　〃You'd　be　happy　here；　I'll　guarantee　it。　In　fact；　let　me　issue　you　a　couple　of　library　cards！〃　She　sat　down　and　pulled　open　a　desk　drawer。　
　As　the　librarian　withdrew　two　cards　from　the　drawer　and　picked　up　a　pen；　Holly　said；　〃Well；　the　thing　is。　。　。　there're　as　many　bad　memories　for　him　as　good；　and　Lena's　death　is　one　of　the　worst。〃　
　〃And　the　thing　is；〃　Jim　picked　up；　〃I　was　only　ten　when　she　died…well　almost　eleven…and　I　guess　maybe　I　made　myself　forget　some　of　what　happened。　I'm　not　too　clear　on　how　she　died；　the　details；　and　I　was　wondering　if　you　remember。　。　。〃　
　Holly　decided　that　he　might　make　a　decent　interviewer　after　all。　
　Mrs　Glynn　said；　〃I　can't　say　I　recall　the　details　of　it。　And　I　guess　nobody'll　ever　know　what　on　earth　she　was　doing　out　in　that　old　mill　in　the　middle　of　the　night。　Henry；　your　grandpa；　said　she　sometimes　went　there　just　to　get　away　from　things。　It　was　peaceful　and　cool；　a　place　she　could　do　a　little　knitting　and　sort　of　meditate。　And；　of　course；　in　those　days　it　wasn't　quite　the　ruin　it's　bee。　Still。　
　。　。　it　seemed　odd　she'd　be　out　there　knitting　at　two　o'clock　in　the　morning。〃　
　As　the　librarian　recounted　what　she　could　recall　of　Lena's　death；　confirming　that　Holly's　dream　had　really　been　Jim's　memory；　Holly　was　touched　by　both　dread　and　nausea。　What　Eloise　Glynn　did　not　seem　to　know；　what　perhaps　no　one　knew；　was　that　Lena　had　not　been　in　that　mill　alone。　
　Jim　had　been　there；　too。　
　And　only　Jim　had　e　out　of　it　alive。　
　Holly　glanced　at　him　and　saw　that　he　had　lost　all　color　in　his　face　again。　
　He　was　not　merely　pale。　He　was　as　gray　as　the　sky　outside。　
　Mrs。　Glynn　asked　Holly　for　her　driver's　license；　to　plete　the　library　card；　and　even　though　Holly　didn't　want　the　card；　she　produced　the　license。　
　The　librarian　said；　〃Jim；　I　think　what　got　you　through　all　that　pain　and　loss；　more　than　anything；　was　books。　You　pulled　way　into　yourself；　read　al！　the　time；　and　I　think　you　used　fantasy　as　sort　of　a　painkiller。〃　
　She　handed　Holly　the　license　and　library　card；　and　said　to　her；　〃Jim　was　an　awfully　bright　boy。　He　could　get　totally　into　a　book；　it　became　real　for　him。〃　
　Yeah；　Holly　thought；　did　it　ever。　
　〃When　he　first　came　to　town　and　I　heard　he'd　never　been　to　a　real　school　before；　been　educated　by　his　parents；　I　thought　that　was　just　terrible；　even　if　they　did　have　to　travel　all　the　time　with　that　nightclub　act　of　theirs〃　Holly　recalled　the　gallery　of　photographs　on　Jim's　study　walls　in　Laguna　Niguel：　Miami；　Atlantic　City；　New　York；　London；　Chicago；　Las　Vegas。　。　。　
　〃…but　they'd　actually　done　a　pretty　fine　job。　At　least　they'd　turned　him　into　a　booklover；　and　that　served　him　well　later。〃　She　turned　to　Jim。　〃I　suppose　you　haven't　asked　your　grandpa　about　Lena's　death　because　you　figure　it　might　upset　him　to　talk　about　it。　But　I　think　he's　not　as　fragile　as　you　imagine；　and　he'd　know　more　about　it　than　anyone；　of　course。〃　Mrs。　
　Glynn　addressed　Holly　again：　〃Is　something　wrong；　dear？〃　Holly　realized　she　was　standing　with　the　blue　library　card　in　her　hand；　statue…still；　like　one　of　those　waiting…to…be…reanimated　people　in　the　worlds　within　the　books　upon　the　shelves　within　these　rooms。　For　a　moment　she　could　not　respond　to　the　woman's　question。　
　Jim　looked　too　stunned　to　pick　up　the　ball　this　time。　His　grandfather　was　alive　somewhere。　But　where？　〃No；〃　Holly　said；　〃nothing's　wrong。　I　just　realized　how　late　it's　getting…〃　A　shatter　of　static；　a　vision：　her　severed　head　screaming；　her　severed　hands　crawling　like　spiders　across　a　floor；　her　decapitated　body　writhing　and　t