dk.coldfire-第83部分

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g；　her　severed　hands　crawling　like　spiders　across　a　floor；　her　decapitated　body　writhing　and　twisting　in　agony；　she　was　dismembered　but　not　dead；　impossibly　alive；　in　a　thrall　of　horror　beyond　endurance　Holly　cleared　her　throat；　blinked　at　Mrs。　Glynn；　who　was　staring　at　her　curiously。　
　〃Uh；　yeah；　quite　late。　And　we're　supposed　to　go　see　Henry　before　lunch。　
　It's　already　ten。　I've　never　met　him。〃　She　was　babbling　now；　couldn't　stop。　〃I'm　really　looking　forward　to　it。〃　
　Unless　he　really　did　die　over　four　years　ago；　like　Jim　had　told　her；　in　which　case　she　wasn't　looking　forward　to　it　at　all。　But　Mrs。　Glynn　did　not　appear　to　be　a　spiritualist　who　would　blithely　suggest　conjuring　up　the　dead　for　a　little　chat。　
　〃He's　a　nice　man；〃　Eloise　Glynn　said。　〃I　know　he　must've　hated　having　to　move　off　the　farm　after　his　stroke；　but　he　can　be　thankful　it　didn't　leave　him　worse　than　he　is。　My　mother；　God　rest　her　soul；　had　a　stroke；　left　her　unable　to　walk；　talk；　blind　in　one　eye；　and　so　confused　she　couldn't　always　recognize　her　own　children。　At　least　poor　Henry　has　his　wits　about　him；　as　I　understand　it。　He　can　talk；　and　I　hear　he's　the　leader　of　the　wheelchair　pack　over　there　at　Fair　Haven。〃　
　〃Yes；〃　Jim　said；　sounding　as　wooden　as　a　talking　post；　〃that's　what　I　hear。〃　
　〃Fair　Haven's　such　a　nice　place；〃　Mrs。　Glynn　said；　〃it's　good　of　you　to　keep　him　there；　Jim。　It's　not　a　snakepit　like　so　many　nursing　homes　these　days。〃　
　The　Yellow　Pages　at　a　public　phone　booth　provided　an　address　for　Fair　Haven　on　the　edge　of　Solvang。　Holly　drove　south　and　west　across　the　valley。　
　〃I　remember　he　had　a　stroke；〃　Jim　said。　〃I　was　in　the　hospital　with　him；　came　up　from　Orange　County；　he　was　in　the　intensive…care　unit。　I　hadn't。　。　。　hadn't　seen　him　in　thirteen　years　or　more。〃　
　Holly　was　surprised　by　that；　and　her　look　generated　a　hot　wave　of　shame　that　withered　Jim。　〃You　hadn't　seen　your　own　grandfather　in　thirteen　years？〃　〃There　was　a　reason。　。　。　。〃　
　〃What？〃　He　stared　at　the　road　ahead　for　a　while；　then　let　out　a　guttural　sound　of　frustration　and　disgust。　〃I　don't　know。　There　was　a　reason；　but　I　can't　remember　it。　Anyway；　I　came　back　when　he　had　his　stroke；　when　he　was　dying　in　the　hospital。　And　I　remember　him　dead；　damn　it。〃　
　〃Clearly　remember　it？〃　〃Yes。〃　
　She　said；　〃You　remember　the　sight　of　him　dead　in　the　hospital　bed；　all　his　monitor　lines　flat？〃　He　frowned。　〃No。〃　
　〃Remember　a　doctor　telling　you　he'd　passed　away？〃　〃No。〃　
　〃Remember　making　arrangements　for　his　burial？〃　〃No。〃　
　which　case　she　wasn't　looking　forward　to　it　at　all。　But　Mrs。　Glynn　did　not　appear　to　be　a　spiritualist　who　would　blithely　suggest　conjuring　up　the　dead　for　a　little　chat。　
　〃He's　a　nice　man；〃　Eloise　Glynn　said。　〃I　know　he　must've　hated　having　to　move　off　the　farm　after　his　stroke；　but　he　can　be　thankful　it　didn't　leave　him　worse　than　he　is。　My　mother；　God　rest　her　soul；　had　a　stroke；　left　her　unable　to　walk；　talk；　blind　in　one　eye；　and　so　confused　she　couldn't　always　recognize　her　own　children。　At　least　poor　Henry　has　his　wits　about　him；　as　I　understand　it。　He　can　talk；　and　I　hear　he's　the　leader　of　the　wheelchair　pack　over　there　at　Fair　Haven。〃　
　〃Yes；〃　Jim　said；　sounding　as　wooden　as　a　talking　post；　〃that's　what　I　hear。〃　
　〃Fair　Haven's　such　a　nice　place；〃　Mrs。　Glynn　said；　〃it's　good　of　you　to　keep　him　there；　Jim。　It's　not　a　snakepit　like　so　many　nursing　homes　these　days。〃　
　The　Yellow　Pages　at　a　public　phone　booth　provided　an　address　for　Fair　Haven　on　the　edge　of　Solvang。　Holly　drove　south　and　west　across　the　valley。　
　〃I　remember　he　had　a　stroke；〃　Jim　said。　〃I　was　in　the　hospital　with　him；　came　up　from　Orange　County；　he　was　in　the　intensive…care　unit。　I　hadn't。　。　。　hadn't　seen　him　in　thirteen　years　or　more。〃　
　Holly　was　surprised　by　that；　and　her　look　generated　a　hot　wave　of　shame　that　withered　Jim。　〃You　hadn't　seen　your　own　grandfather　in　thirteen　years？〃　〃There　was　a　reason。　。　。　。〃　
　〃What？〃　He　stared　at　the　road　ahead　for　a　while；　then　let　out　a　guttural　sound　of　frustration　and　disgust。　〃I　don't　know。　There　was　a　reason；　but　I　can't　remember　it。　Anyway；　I　came　back　when　he　had　his　stroke；　when　he　was　dying　in　the　hospital。　And　I　remember　him　dead；　damn　it。〃　
　〃Clearly　remember　it？〃　〃Yes。〃　
　She　said；　〃You　remember　the　sight　of　him　dead　in　the　hospital　bed；　all　his　monitor　lines　flat？〃　He　frowned。　〃No。〃　
　〃Remember　a　doctor　telling　you　he'd　passed　away？〃　〃No。〃　
　〃Remember　making　arrangements　for　his　burial？〃　〃No。〃　
　〃Then　what's　so　clear　about　this　memory　of　him　being　dead？〃　Jim　brooded　about　that　awhile　as　she　whipped　the　Ford　around　the　curving　roads；　between　gentle　hills　on　which　scattered　houses　stood；　past　white…fenced　horse　pastures　green　as　pictures　of　Kentucky。　This　part　of　the　valley　was　lusher　than　the　area　around　New　Svenborg。　But　the　sky　had　bee　a　more　somber　gray；　with　a　hint　of　blue…black　in　the　clouds　bruised。　
　At　last　he　said；　〃It　isn't　clear　at　all；　now　that　I　look　close　at　it。　
　Just　a　muddy　impression。　。　。　not　a　real　memory。〃　
　〃Are　you　paying　to　keep　Henry　at　Fair　Haven？〃　〃No。〃　
　〃Did　you　inherit　his　property？〃　〃How　could　I　inherit　if　he's　alive？〃　〃A　conservatorship　then？〃　He　was　about　to　deny　that；　as　well；　when　he　suddenly　remembered　a　hearing　room；　a　judge。　The　testimony　of　a　doctor。　His　granddad's　counsel；　appearing　on　the　old　man's　behalf　to　testify　that　Henry　was　of　sound　mind　and　wanted　his　grandson　to　manage　his　property。　
　〃Good　heavens；　yes；〃　Jim　said；　shocked　that　he　was　capable　not　only　of　forgetting　events　from　the　distant　past　but　from　as　recently　as　four　years　ago。　As　Holly　swung　around　a　slow…moving　farm　truck　and　accelerated　along　a　straight　stretch　of　road；　Jim　told　her　what　he　had　just　remembered；　dim　as　the　recollection　was。　〃How　can　I　do　this；　live　this　way？　How　can　I　totally　rewrite　my　past　when　it　suits　me？〃　〃Self　defense；〃　she　said；　as　she　had　said　before。　She　swung　in　front　of　the　truck。　〃I'd　bet　that　you　remember　a　tremendous　amount　of　precise　detail　about　your　work　as　a　teacher；　about　your　students　over　the　years；　colleagues　you've　taught　with…〃　It　was　true。　As　she　spoke；　he　could　flash　back；　at　will；　through　his　years　in　the　classroom；　which　seemed　so　vivid　that　those　thousands　of　days　might　have　occurred　concurrently　only　yesterday。　
　〃…because　that　life　held　no　threat　for　you；　it　was　filled　with　purpose　and　peace。　The　only　things　you　forget；　push　relentlessly　down　into　the　deepest　wells　of　memory；　are　those　things　having　to　do　with　the　death　of　your　parents；　the　death　of　Lena　Ironheart；　and　your　years　in　New　Svenborg。　Henry　Ironheart　is　part　of　that；　so　you　continue　to　wipe　him　from　your　mind。〃　
　The　sky　was　contusive。　
　He　saw　blackbirds　wheeling　across　the　clouds；　more　of　them　now　than　he　had　seen　in　the　cemetery。　Four；　six；　eight。　They　seemed　to　be　paralleling　the　car；　following　it　to　Solvang。　
　Strangely；　he　recalled　the　dream　with　which　he　had　awakened　on　the　morning　that　he　had　gone　to　Portland；　saved　Billy　Jenkins；　and　met　Holly。　
　In　the　nightmare；　a　flock　of　large　blackbirds　shrieked　around　him　in　a　turbulent　flapping　of　wings　and　tore　at　him　with　hooked　beaks　as　precision…honed　as　surgical　instruments。　
　〃The　worst　is　yet　to　e；〃　he　said。　
　〃What　do　you　mean？〃　〃I　don't　know。〃　
　〃You　mean　what　we　learn　at　Fair　Haven？〃　Above；　the　blackbirds　swam　through　the　high；　cold　currents。　
　Without　having　a　clue　as　to　what　he　meant；　Jim　said；　〃Something　very　dark　is　ing。〃　
　Fair　Haven　was　housed　in　a　large；　U…shaped；　three…story　building　outside　the　town　limits　of　Solvang；　with　no　trace　of　Danish　influence　in　its　architecture。　It　was　strictly　off　the…rack　design；　functional　and　no　prettier　than　it　had　to　be：　cream…tinted　stucco；　concrete…tile　roof；　boxy；　flat…walled；　with　out　detail。　But　it　was　freshly　painted　and　in　good　repair；　the　hedges　were　neatly　trimmed；　the　lawn　recently　mown；　and　the　sidewalks　swept　clean。　
　Holly　liked　the　place。　She　almost　wished　she　lived　there；　was　maybe　eighty；　watching　some　TV　every　day；　playing　some　checkers；　with　no　worry　bigger　than　trying　to　figure　out　where　she　had　put　her　false　teeth　when　she'd　taken　them　out　last　night。　
　Inside；　the　hallways　were　wide　and　airy；　with　yellow　vinyl…tile　floors。　
　Unli