dk.coldfire-第88部分

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at　Jim's　of。　He　bowed　head　and　seemed　prepared　to　meet　his　eyes　if　he　looked　up。　〃You　clench　was　reading　all　the　time；　going　through　the　library　shelf　by　shelf；　and　because　of　the　film　you　read　the　Willott　book。　For　a　while　it　became。　。　。　
　hell；　I　don't　know。　。　。　I　guess　maybe　you'd　have　to　say　it　was　an　obsession　with　you；　Jim。　It　was　the　only　thing　that　brought　you　out　of　your　shell；　talking　about　that　book；　so　we　encouraged　you　to　go　watch　them　shoot　the　picture。　Remember？　After　a　while；　you　started　telling　us　an　alien　was　in　our　pond　and　windmill；　just　like　in　the　book　and　movie。　
　At　first　we　thought　you　was　just　play…acting。〃　
　He　paused。　
　The　silence　lengthened。　
　About　twenty　birds　in　the　sky　above。　
　Circling。　Silent。　
　To　Henry；　Holly　said；　〃Then　it　began　to　worry　you。〃　
　Henry　wiped　one　shaky　hand　down　his　deeply　lined　face；　not　so　much　as　if　he　was　trying　to　scrub　away　his　weariness　but　as　if　he　was　trying　to　slough　off　the　years　and　bring　that　lost　time　closer。　〃You　spent　more　and　more　hours　in　the　mill；　Jim。　Sometimes　you'd　be　out　there　all　day。　
　And　evenings；　too。　Sometimes　we'd　get　up　in　the　middle　of　the　night　to　use　the　john；　and　we'd　see　a　light　out　there　in　the　mill；　two　or　three　or　four　o'clock　in　the　morning。　And　you　wouldn't　be　in　your　room。〃　
　Henry　paused　more　often。　He　wasn't　tired。　He　just　didn't　want　to　dig　into　this　part　of　the　long…buried　past。　
　〃If　it　was　the　middle　of　the　night；　we'd　go　out　there　to　the　mill　and　bring　you　in；　either　me　or　Lena。　And　you'd　be　telling　us　about　The　Friend　in　the　mill。　You　started　spooking　us；　we　didn't　know　what　to　do　。　。　。　so　I　guess。　。　。　we　didn't　do　anything。　Anyway；　that　night　。　。　。　
　the　night　she　died。　。　。　a　storm　was　ing　up…〃　Holly　recalled　the　dream：。　。　。　a　fresh　wind　blows　as　she　hurries　along　the　gravel　path　。　
　。　。　
　〃…and　Lena　didn't　wake　me。　She　went　out　there　by　herself　and　up　at　the　high　room〃。　。　。　she　climbs　the　limestone　stairs。　。　。　
　〃…pretty　good　thunderstorm；　but　I　used　to　be　able　to　sleep　through　anything…〃。　。　。　the　heavens　flash　as　she　passes　the　stairwell　window；　and　through　the　glass　she　sees　an　object　in　the　pond　below。　。　。　
　〃…I　guess；　Jim；　you　was　just　doing　what　we　always　found　you　doing　out　there　at　night；　reading　that　book　by　candlelight〃。　。　。　inhuman　sounds　from　above　quicken　her　heart；　and　she　climbs　to　the　high　room；　afraid；　but　also　curious　and　concerned　for　Jim。　。　。　
　〃…a　crash　of　thunder　finally　woke　me…〃。　。　。　she　reaches　the　top　of　the　stairs　and　sees　him　standing；　hands　fisted　）7　at　his　sides；　a　yellow　candle　in　a　blue　dish　on　the　floor；　a　book　beside　the　candle。　。。　
　〃…I　realized　Lena　was　gone；　looked　out　the　bedroom　window；　and　saw　that　dim　light　in　the　mill〃。　the　boy　turns　to　her　and　cries　out；　I'm　scared　help　me　the　walls；　the　walls！　。　。　。　
　〃…and　I　couldn't　believe　my　eyes　because　the　sails　of　the　mill　were　turning；　and　even　in　those　days　the　sails　hadn't　turned　in　ten　or　fifteen　years；　been　frozen　up…〃。　she　sees　an　amber　light　within　the　walls；　the　sour　shades　of　pus　and　bile；　the　limestone　bulges；　and　she　realizes　something　is　impossibly　alive　in　the　stone。　。　。　
　〃…but　they　were　spinning　like　airplane　propellers；　so　I　pulled　on　my　pants；　and　hurried　downstairs…〃。　。　。　with　fear　but　also　with　perverse　excitement；　the　boy　says；　It's　ing　and　nobody　can　stop　it！　。　。　。　
　〃…I　grabbed　a　flashlight　and　ran　out　into　the　rain…〃。　。　。　the　curve　of　mortared　blocks　splits　like　the　spongy　membrane　of　an　insect's　egg；　taking　shape　from　a　core　of　foul　muck；　where　limestone　should　have　been；　is　the　embodiment　of　the　boy's　black　rage　at　the　world　and　its　injustice；　his　self　hatred　made　flesh；　his　own　death…wish　given　a　vicious　and　brutal　form　so　solid　that　it　is　an　entity　itself；　quite　separate　from　him。　。　。　
　〃…I　reached　the　mill；　couldn't　believe　how　those　old　sails　were　spinning；　whoosh；　whoosh；　whoosh！〃　Holly's　dream　had　ended　there；　but　her　imagination　too　easily　supplied　a　version　of　what　might　have　happened　thereafter。　Horrified　at　the　materialization　of　The　Enemy；　stunned　that　the　boy's　wild　tales　of　aliens　in　the　mill　were　true；　Lena　had　stumbled　backward　and　fallen　down　the　winding　stone　stairs；　unable　to　arrest　her　fall　because　there　was　no　handrail　at　which　to　grab。　
　Somewhere　along　the　way　she　broke　her　neck。　
　〃…went　inside　the　mill。　。　。　found　her　at　the　bottom　of　the　stairs　all　busted　up；　neck　twisted。　。　。　dead。〃　
　Henry　paused　for　the　first　time　in　a　while　and　swallowed　hard。　He　had　not　looked　at　Holly　once　throughout　his　account　of　that　stormy　night；　only　at　Jim's　bowed　head。　With　less　of　a　slur　in　his　voice；　as　if　it　were　vitally　important　to　him　to　tell　the　rest　of　it　as　clearly　as　he　could；　he　said：　〃I　went　up　the　steps　and　found　you　in　the　high　room；　Jimmy。　Do　you　remember　that？　Sitting　by　the　candle；　holding　the　book　in　your　hands　so　tight　it　couldn't　be　taken　from　you　till　hours　later。　
　You　wouldn't　speak。〃　
　The　old　man's　voice　quavered　now。　〃God　forgive　me；　but　all　I　could　think　about　was　Lena　being　dead；　my　dear　Lena　gone；　and　you　being　such　a　strange　child　all　year；　and　still　strange　even　at　that　moment；　with　your　book；　refusing　to　talk　to　me。　I　guess。　。　。　I　guess　I　went　a　little　mad　right　then；　for　a　while。　I　thought　you　might've　pushed　her；　Jimmy。　I　thought　you　might've　been　in　one　of　your。　。　。　upsets。　。　。　and　maybe　you　pushed　her。〃　
　As　if　it　had　bee　too　much　for　him　to　address　himself　to　his　grandson　any　longer；　Henry　shifted　his　gaze　to　Holly。　〃That　year　after　Atlanta；　he'd　been　a　strange　boy。　。　。　almost　like　a　boy　we　didn't　know。　He　was　quiet；　like　I　said；　but　there　was　rage　in　him；　too；　a　fury　like　no　child　should　ever　have。　It　sometimes　scared　us。　The　only　time　he　ever　showed　it　was　in　his　sleep。　。　。　dreaming。　。　。　we'd　hear　him　screeching；　and　we'd　go　down　the　hall　to　his　room。　。　。　and　he'd　be　kicking　and　punching　at　the　mattress；　the　pillows；　clawing　at　the　sheets；　furious；　taking　it　all　out　on　something　in　his　dreams；　and　we'd　have　to　wake　him。〃　
　Henry　paused　and　looked　away　from　Holly；　down　at　his　bent　right　hand；　which　lay　half　useless　in　his　lap。　Jim's　fist；　under　Holly's　hand；　remained　vise…tight。　
　〃You　never　struck　out　at　Lena　or　me；　Jimmy；　you　was　a　good　boy；　never　gave　us　that　kind　of　trouble。　But　in　the　mill　that　night；　I　grabbed　you　and　shook　you；　Jimmy；　tried　to　make　you　admit　how　you'd　pushed　her　down　the　stairs。　There　was　no　excuse　for　what　I　did；　how　I　behaved。　。　。　
　except　I　was　grief　crazy　over　Jamie　and　Cara；　and　now　over　Lena；　everyone　dying　around　me；　and　there　was　only　you；　and　you　were　so　strange；　so　strange　and　locked　up　in　yourself　that　you　scared　me；　so　I　turned　on　you　when　I　should　have　been　taking　you　in　my　arms。　
　Turned　on　you　that　night。　。　。　
　and　didn't　realize　what　I'd　done　until　a　lot　of　years　later。　。　。　
　too　late。〃　
　The　birds　were　in　a　tighter　circle　now。　Directly　overhead。　
　〃Don't；〃　she　said　softly　to　Jim。　〃Please　don't。〃　
　Until　Jim　responded；　Holly　could　not　know　if　these　revelations　were　for　better　or　worse。　If　he　had　blamed　himself　for　his　grandma's　death　merely　because　Henry　had　instilled　the　guilt　in　him；　then　he　would　get　past　this。　If　he　blamed　himself　because　Lena　had　e　into　the　high　room；　had　seen　The　Enemy　materializing　from　the　wall；　and　had　stumbled　backward　down　the　stairs　in　terror；　he　might　still　overe　the　past。　
　But　if　The　Enemy　had　torn　itself　free　of　the　wall　and　pushed　her。　。　。　
　〃I　treated　you　like　a　murderer　for　the　next　six　years；　until　you　went　away　to　school；〃　Henry　said。　〃When　you　was　gone。　。　。　well；　in　time；　I　started　to　think　about　it　with　a　clearer　head；　and　I　knew　what　I'd　done。　
　You'd　had　nowhere　to　turn　for　fort。　Your　mom　and　dad　were　gone；　your　grandma。　You　went　into　town　to　get　books；　but　you　couldn't　join　in　with　other　kids　because　that　little　Zacca　bastard；　Ned　Zacca；　he　was　twice　your　size　and　wouldn't　ever　let　you　alone。　You　had　no　peace　except　in　books。　I　tried　to　call　you；　but　you　wouldn't　take　the　calls。　I　wrote　but　I　think　you　never　read　the　letters。〃　
　Jim　sat　unmoving。　
　Henry　Ironheart　shifted　his　attention　to　Holly。　〃He　came　back　at　last　when　I　had　my　stroke。　He　sat　beside　me　when　I　was　in　intensive　care。　I　couldn't　speak　right；　couldn't　sa