cp.reddice-第14部分
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He sighs。 〃We have the wrong pit boss in charge。〃 I put my hand on his shoulder。 〃What's his name？〃
〃General Havor。 He's a hard ass…I don't think his mother gave him a first name。 At least I don't know it。 We call him 'General' or 'Sir。' He believes in order； performance； sacrifice； discipline； power。〃 Andy shakes his head。 〃He definitely doesn't create an environment for free thinking and loving cooperation。〃 I am the understanding girlfriend。
〃You should quit then。〃
Andy flashes an amused； bitter grin。 〃If I quit now I'd be walking away from one of the greatest discoveries of modern time。 Plus I need the job。 I need the money。〃
I caress his hair。 My voice is soft and seductive。 〃You need to relax； Andy； and not think of this stupid general。 Tell you what…when you get off work tomorrow； e straight to my suite。 I'm staying at the Mirage； Room Two…One…Three…Four。 We can play the tables and have another late dinner together。〃
Gently he takes my hand。 His eyes momentarily e into focus； and I see his intellect again； feel his warmth。 He is a good man； working in a bad place。
〃Do you have to go now？〃 he asks sadly。 I lean over and kiss him on the cheek。 〃Yes。 But we'll see each other tomorrow。〃 I sit back and wink。 〃We'll have fun。〃
He is pleased。 〃You know what I like about you； Lara？〃
〃What？〃
〃You have a good heart。 I feel I can trust you。〃
I nod。 〃You can trust me； Andy。 You really can。〃
8
One of the saddest stories told in modern literature； to me at least； is Mary Shelley's Frankenstein。 Because in a sense I am that monster。 Knowingly or unknowingly； to much of history； I am the inspiration of nightmares。 I am the primeval fear； something dead e to life； or better yet…and more accurate… something that refuses to die。 Yet I consider myself more human than Shelley's creation； more humane than Arturo's offspring。 I am a monster； but I can also love deeply。 Yet even my love for Arturo could not spare him from plunging us into a nightmare from which there seemed to be no waking。
His secret of transformation was very simple； and profound beyond belief。 It is fashionable among New Age adherents to use crystals to develop higher states of consciousness。 What most of these people do not know is that a crystal is merely an amplifier； and that it has to be used very carefully。 Whatever is present in the aura of the person； in the psychic field； gets magnified。 Hate can be boosted as easily as passion。 In fact； cruel emotions expand more easily when given the chance。 Arturo had an intuitive sense of the proper crystal to use with each person。 Indeed； on most people he refused to use crystals at all。 Few； he said； were ready for such high vibrations。 How tragic it was that when he had a vial of my blood in his hand； his intuition deserted him。 It is a pity his special genius did not leave him as well。 It took a genius to take us as far as he did。
A mad one。
Using the magnets and copper sheets； in his secret geometric arrangements； the vibrations from whatever Arturo placed over the person were transmitted into the aura。 For example； when he placed a clear quartz crystal above my head； a deep peaceful state settled in my mind。 Yet if he used a similar crystal with young Ralphe； the boy would bee irritated。 Ralphe had too much going on in his mind and was not ready for crystals。 Arturo understood that。 He was an alchemist in the truest sense of the word。 He could transform what could not be changed。 Souls as well as bodies。
Arturo did not believe the body created the mind。 He felt it was the other way around； and I believe he was correct。 When he altered an aura； he changed the person's physiology as well。 He just needed the proper materials； he said； to change anything。 A flawed human into a glorious god。 A sterile vampire into a loving mother。
It was； in the end； the chance to bee human again that caused me to give him my blood。 To hold my daughter in my hands again…what ecstasy！ I was seduced by ancient griefs。 Yaksha had made me pay dearly for my immortality； with the loss of Rama and Lalita。 Arturo promised to give me back half of what had been stolen。 It had been over four thousand years。 Half seemed better than nothing。 As I let my blood drip into a gold munion chalice for Arturo； I prayed to Krishna to bless it。
〃I am not breaking my vow to you；〃 I whispered； not believing my own words。 〃I am just trying to break this curse。〃
I did not know； as I prayed to my God； that Arturo was also praying to his。 To allow him to convert human and vampiric blood into the saving fluid of Jesus Christ。 Genius may make a person a fanatic； I don't know。 But I do know that a fanatic will never listen to anything other than his own dreams。 Arturo was soft and kind； warm and loving。 Yet he was convinced he had a great destiny。 Hitler thought the same。 Both wanted something nature had never granted…the perfect being。 And I； the ancient monster； just wanted a child。 Arturo and I…we should never have met。 But perhaps our meeting was destined。 My blood looked so dark in the chalice。 The sacredness of the chalice did nothing to dispel my gloom。
Arturo wanted to place my blood above the head of select humans。 To merge the vibration of my immortal pattern into that of a mortal。 If he changed the aura； he said； the body would be transformed。 He； of all people； should have known how potent my blood was。 He had stared deep into my eyes。 He should have known my will would not bend easily to the will of another。
〃You will not put the blood in their veins？〃 I asked as I handed him the chalice。 He shook his head。
〃Never；〃 he promised。 〃Your God and my God are the same。 Your vow will remain unbroken。〃
〃I'm not fooling myself；〃 I said quietly。 〃I have broken a portion of it。〃 I moved close to him。 〃I do this for you。〃
He touched me then…he rarely did； before that night。 It was hard for him to fed my flesh and not burn。 〃You do this for yourself as well；〃 he said。
I loved to stare deeply into his eyes。 〃That is true。 But as I do this…for you as well as for myself…you must do likewise。〃
He wanted to draw back but he only came closer。 〃What do you mean？〃
I kissed him then； for the first time； on the cheek。 〃You have to break your vow。 You have to make love to me。〃
His eyes were round。 〃I can't。 My life is dedicated to Christ。〃
I did not smile。 His words were not funny； but tragic。 The seed of all that was to follow was hidden inside them。 But I did not see that then； at least not clearly。 I just wanted him so badly。 I kissed him again； on the lips。
〃You believe my blood will lead you to Christ；〃 I said。 〃I do not know about that。 But I do know where I can take you。〃 I set down the bloody chalice and my arms went around him； the wings of the vampire swallowing its prey。 〃Pretend I am your God； Arturo； at least for tonight。 I will make it easy for you。〃
There was one last ingredient in Arturo's technique that I did not witness during my first session。 While I was lying on the floor with all the paraphernalia around me； he had set a mirror above the crystals。 This mirror was coordinated with an external mirror； which allowed moonlight to shine through the crystals。 It was actually the light； altered by its passage through the quartz medium； that set in motion the higher vibration in the aura that altered the body。 Arturo never focused the sun directly through the crystals； saying it would be much too powerful。 Of course； Arturo understood that the light of the moon was identical to the light of the sun； only softened by cosmic reflection。
Arturo made with his own hands a crystal vial to hold my blood。
His first experiment was with a local child who had been retarded since birth。 The boy lived on the streets and existed on the scraps of food tossed to him by strangers。 It was my desire that Arturo first work on someone who couldn't turn him over to the Inquisition。 Still； Arturo was taking a big risk experimenting on anyone。 The Church would have burned him at the stake。 How I hated its self…righteous dogma； its hypocrisy。 Arturo never knew how many inquisitors I killed…a small detail that I forgot to menti
