lmb.shardsofhonor-第9部分

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　lie　down。　They　slept　where　they　stopped　on　the　red　sandy　soil。　Vorkosigan　cracked　a　cold　light　and　took　his　usual　watch；　as　Cordelia　lay　in　the　dirt　and　watched　the　unreachable　stars　wheel　overhead。
　Vorkosigan　had　asked　to　be　waked　before　dawn；　but　she　let　him　sleep　until　full　light。　She　didn't　like　the　way　he　looked；　alternately　pale　and　flushed；　or　his　shallow　rapid　breathing。
　〃Think　you'd　better　take　one　of　your　painkillers？〃　she　asked　him　when　he　rose；　for　he　seemed　barely　able　to　put　weight　on　the　leg；　which　was　much　more　swollen。
　〃Not　yet。　I　have　to　save　some　for　the　end。〃　He　cut　a　long　stick　instead；　and　the　three　of　them　began　the　day's　task　of　walking　down　their　shadows。
　〃How　far　to　the　end？〃　Cordelia　asked。
　〃I　estimate　a　day；　day　and　a　half；　depending　on　what　kind　of　time　we　can　make。〃　He　grimaced。　〃Don't　worry。　You're　not　going　to　have　to　carry　me。　I'm　one　of　the　fittest　men　in　my　mand。〃　He　limped　on。　〃Over　forty。〃
　〃How　many　men　over　forty　are　there　in　your　mand？〃
　〃Four。〃
　Cordelia　snorted。
　〃Anyway；　if　it　bees　necessary；　I　have　a　stimulant　in　my　medkit　that　would　animate　a　corpse。　But　I　want　to　save　it　for　the　end　too。〃
　〃What　kind　of　trouble　are　you　anticipating？〃
　〃It　all　depends　on　who　picks　up　my　call。　I　know　Radnov…my　Political　Officer…has　at　least　two　agents　in　my　munications　section。〃　He　pursed　his　lips；　measuring　her　again。　〃You　see；　I　don't　think　it　was　a　general　mutiny。　I　think　it　was　a　spur…of…the…moment　assassination　attempt　on　the　part　of　Radnov　and　a　very　few　others。　Using　you　Betans；　they　thought　they　could　get　rid　of　me　without　implicating　themselves。　If　I'm　right；　everyone　aboard　ship　thinks　I'm　dead。　All　but　one。〃
　〃Which　one？〃
　〃Wouldn't　I　like　to　know。　The　one　who　hit　me　on　the　head　and　hid　me　in　the　bracken；　instead　of　cutting　my　throat　and　dumping　me　in　the　nearest　hole。　Lieutenant　Radnov　seems　to　have　a　ringer　in　his　group。　And　yet…if　this　ringer　were　loyal　to　me；　all　he'd　have　to　do　is　tell　Gottyan；　my　first　officer；　and　he'd　have　had　a　loyal　patrol　down　to　pick　me　up　before　now。　Now　who　in　my　mand　is　so　confused　in　his　thinking　as　to　betray　both　sides　at　once？　Or　am　I　missing　something？〃
　〃Maybe　they're　all　still　chasing　my　ship；〃　suggested　Cordelia。
　〃Where　is　your　ship？〃
　Honesty　should　be　safely　academic　by　now；　Cordelia　calculated。　〃Well　on　its　way　back　to　Beta　Colony。〃
　〃Unless　they've　been　captured。〃
　〃No。　They　were　out　of　your　range　when　I　talked　to　them。　They　may　not　be　armed；　but　they　can　run　rings　around　your　battle　cruiser。〃
　〃Hm。　Well；　it's　possible。〃
　He　doesn't　sound　surprised；　Cordelia　noted。　I'd　bet　his　secret　reports　on　our　stuff　would　give　our　counter…intelligence　people　colonic　spasms。　〃How　far　will　they　pursue？〃
　〃That's　up　to　Gottyan。　If　he　judges　he　can't　possibly　catch　them；　he'll　return　to　the　picket　station。　If　he　thinks　he　can；　he's　bound　to　make　maximum　effort。〃
　〃Why？〃
　He　glanced　sidelong　at　her。　〃I　can't　discuss　that。〃
　〃I　don't　see　why　not。　I'm　not　going　anywhere　but　a　Barrayaran　prison　cell；　for　a　while。　Funny　how　one's　standards　change。　After　this　trek；　it　will　seem　like　the　lap　of　luxury。〃
　〃I'll　try　to　see　it　doesn't　e　to　that；〃　he　smiled。
　His　eyes　bothered　her；　and　his　smile。　His　curtness　she　could　meet　and　match　with　her　own　flippancy；　guarding　herself　as　with　a　fencers　foil。　His　kindness　was　like　fencing　with　the　sea；　her　strokes　going　soft　and　losing　all　volition。　She　flinched　from　the　smile；　and　his　face　fell；　then　became　closed　and　grave　again。
　
　CHAPTER　THREE
　They　walked　in　silence　for　a　time　after　breakfast。　Vorkosigan　broke　it　first。　His　fever　seemed　to　be　eating　away　at　his　original　taciturnity。
　〃Converse　with　me。　It　will　take　my　mind　off　my　leg。〃
　〃What　about？〃
　〃Anything。〃
　She　considered；　walking。　〃Do　you　find　manding　a　warship　very　different　from　ordinary　vessels？〃
　He　thought　it　over。　〃It's　not　the　ship　that's　different。　It's　the　men。　Leadership　is　mostly　a　power　over　imagination；　and　never　more　so　than　in　bat。　The　bravest　man　alone　can　only　be　an　armed　lunatic。　The　real　strength　lies　in　the　ability　to　get　others　to　do　your　work。　Don't　you　find　it　so　even　in　the　fleets　of　Beta　Colony？〃
　Cordelia　smiled。　〃If　anything；　even　more　so。　If　it　ever　came　down　to　exerting　power　by　force；　it　would　mean　I'd　already　lost　it。　I　prefer　to　maintain　a　light　touch。　Then　I　have　the　advantage；　because　I　find　I　can　always　keep　my　temper；　or　whatever；　just　a　little　longer　than　the　next　man。〃　She　glanced　around　at　the　spring　desert。　〃I　think　civilization　must　have　been　invented　for　the　benefit　of　women；　certainly　of　mothers。　I　can't　imagine　how　my　cavewoman　ancestors　cared　for　families　under　primitive　conditions。〃
　〃I　suspect　they　worked　together　in　groups；〃　said　Vorkosigan。　〃I'll　wager　you　could　have　handled　it；　had　you　been　born　in　those　days。　You　have　the　petence　one　would　look　for　in　a　mother　of　warriors。〃
　Cordelia　wondered　if　Vorkosigan　was　pulling　her　leg。　He　did　seem　to　have　a　streak　of　dry　humor。　〃Save　me　from　that！　To　pour　your　life　into　sons　for　eighteen　or　twenty　years；　and　then　have　the　government　take　them　away　and　waste　them　cleaning　up　after　some　failure　of　politics…no　thanks。〃
　〃I　never　really　looked　at　it　that　way；〃　allowed　Vorkosigan。　He　was　quiet　for　a　time；　stumping　along　with　his　stick。　〃Suppose　they　volunteered？　Do　your　people　have　no　ideal　of　service？〃
　〃Noblesse　oblige？〃　But　it　was　her　turn　to　be　silent；　a　little　embarrassed。　〃I　suppose；　if　they　volunteered；　it　would　be　different。　However；　I　have　no　children；　so　fortunately　I　won't　have　to　face　those　decisions。〃
　〃Are　you　glad；　or　sorry？〃
　〃About　children？〃　She　glanced　at　his　face。　He　seemed　to　have　no　awareness　of　having　hit　a　sore　point　dead　on。　〃They　just　haven't　e　my　way；　I　guess。〃
　The　thread　of　their　talk　was　broken　as　they　negotiated　a　rocky　stretch　of　badlands；　full　of　sudden　clefts　opening　at　their　feet。　It　involved　some　tricky　climbing；　and　shoving　Dubauer　through　safely　took　all　her　attention。　On　the　far　side　they　took　a　break　by　unspoken　mutual　agreement；　sitting　leaning　against　a　rock　in　exhaustion。　Vorkosigan　rolled　up　his　pants　leg　and　loosened　his　boot　top　for　a　look　at　the　festering　wound　that　was　threatening　to　slow　him　to　a　halt。
　〃You　seem　a　fair　nurse。　Do　you　think　it　would　help　to　open　and　drain　it？〃　he　asked　Cordelia。
　〃I　don't　know。　I'd　be　afraid　messing　around　with　it　would　just　make　it　dirtier。〃　She　deduced　the　injury　must　be　feeling　very　much　worse　for　him　to　have　mentioned　it；　confirmed　when　he　took　half　a　painkiller　from　his　precious　and　limited　store。
　They　pressed　on；　and　Vorkosigan　began　to　talk　again。　He　told　some　sardonic　anecdotes　from　his　cadet　days；　and　described　his　father；　who　had　been　a　general　manding　ground　forces　in　his　day；　and　a　contemporary　and　friend　of　the　wily　old　man　who　was　now　Emperor。　Cordelia　caught　a　faint；　faraway　impression　of　a　cold　father　whom　a　young　son　could　never　quite　please；　even　with　his　best　efforts；　yet　who　shared　with　him　a　bond　of　underlying　loyalty。　She　described　her　mother；　a　tough…minded　medical　professional　resisting　retirement；　and　her　brother；　who　had　just　purchased　his　second　child　permit。
　〃Do　you　remember　your　mother　well？〃　Cordelia　asked。　〃She　died　when　you　were　quite　young；　I　gather。　An　accident；　like　my　father？〃
　〃No　accident。　Politics。〃　His　face　became　sober；　and　distant。　〃Had　you　not　heard　of　Yuri　Vorbarra's　Massacre？〃
　〃I…don't　know　much　about　Barrayar。〃
　〃Ah。　Well；　Emperor　Yuri；　in　the　later　days　of　his　madness；　became　extremely　paranoid　about　his　relations。　It　became　a　self…fulfilling　prophecy；　in　the　end。　He　sent　his　death　squads　out；　all　in　one　night。　The　squad　sent　for　Prince　Xav　never　got　past　his　liveried　men。　And　for　some　obscure　reason；　he　didn't　send　one　for　my　father；　presumably　because　he　wasn't　a　descendant　of　Emperor　Dorca　Vorbarra。　I　can't　imagine　what　old　Yuri　thought　he　was　about；　to　kill　my　mother　and　leave　my　father　alive。　That　was　when　my　father　threw　his　corps　behind　Ezar　Vorbarra；　in　the　civil　war　that　followed。〃
　〃Oh。〃　Her　throat　seemed　dry　and　thick　in　the　dusty　afternoon。　She　had　evoked　a　coldness　in　him；　so　that　the　film　of　sweat　on　his　forehead　seemed　suddenly　like　a　condensati