gs.earthabides-第88部分

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the　salmon；　and　gave　a　share　to　Ish。　
　　Ish　had　not　seen　or　eaten　any　canned　salmon　for　a　long　time。　The　meat　looked　much　darker　to　him　than　it　should　look　and　it　was　lacking　in　flavor。　But　its　taste…or　lack　of　taste…he　decided；　might　be　partly　the　result　of　his　own　dullness　of　palate　at　his　age。　If　it　had　not　been　so　much　trouble　to　talk；　he　would　have　liked　to　deliver　a　lecture　to　the　young　men　about　all　the　miracles　that　lay　behind　their　eating　this　little　snack　of　salmon。　The　fish　must　have　been　caught　many　years　before；　probably　off　the　coast　of　Alaska；　a　thousand　miles　and　more　from　the　place　where　they　were　now　eating　it。　But　even　if　it　had　not　been　so　much　trouble　to　talk；　still　he　recollected　he　could　not　even　have　made　the　young　men　understand　what　he　was　talking　about。　They　had　seen　the　ocean；　perhaps；　because　it　was　not　very　far　from　where　they　lived；　but　they　would　have　no　conception　of　a　great　ship　sailing　the　ocean；　and　they　would　have　not　known　what　he　meant　when　he　talked　of　a　thousand　miles。　
　　So　he　ate　quietly；　and　let　his　eyes　rove　from　one　of　the　young　men　to　another。　More　and　more　often；　however；　his　eyes　came　to　rest　upon　that　particular　one　who　was　called　Jack。　Life　could　not　have　been　altogether　easy　for　Jack。　He　had　a　scar　on　his　right　arm；　and；　unless　Ish's　eyes　deceived　him；　the　left　hand　had　suffered　some　kind　of　accident　and　was　a　little　twisted。　Yes；　Jack　must　have　suffered；　and　yet　his　face；　like　those　of　the　others；　was　clear　of　lines　and　free　in　all　its　movements。　
　　Again　Ish　felt　his　heart　yearn　toward　the　young　man；　for　in　spite　of　the　scar　and　the　twisted　hand　the　young　man　seemed　child…like　and　innocent；　and　Ish　was　afraid　that　at　some　time　the　world　would　strike　back　hard　against　him　and　find　him　unprepared。　Once　Ish　recollected　that　he　had　asked　a　question　of　this　young　man　named　Jack。　He　had　asked　him；　〃Are　you　happy？〃　And　the　young　man　had　answered　in　such　a　strange　way　that　Ish　had　doubted　whether　he　had　understood　what　the　words　meant。　That　was　the　way　the　things　happened　over　all　these　years；　though　the　language　itself　had　not　changed　more　than　a　little；　yet　there　were　ideas　and　differences　that　had　gone　out　of　people's　thought。　No　longer　perhaps　did　they　make　that　sharp　distinction　between　pleasure　and　sorrow　that　people　had　once　made　in　the　times　of　civilization。　Perhaps　other　distinctions　too　had　faded　out。　
　　So　Jack　may　not　even　have　understood　the　question　exactly　when　he　had　replied　then：　〃Yes；　I　am　happy。　Things　are　as　they　are；　and　I　am　part　of　them。〃　
　　But　at　least　merriment　had　not　gone　out　of　the　world。　As　Ish　rested　beneath　the　rock…overhang；　he　saw　the　others　playing　with　their　dogs　or　joking　with　one　another。　They　laughed　easily　and　often。　And；　as　that　one　still　carved　at　his　wooden　figurine；　he　whistled　a　tune。　It　was　a　gay　tune；　and　Ish　remembered　its　lilt　but　not　its　name　or　the　words　to　sing　with　it。　Yet　it　brought　to　him　a　feeling　of　small　bells；　and　snow；　and　little　glowing　red　and　green　lights；　and　festivity。　Yes；　that　must　have　been　a　gay　song　even　in　the　Old　Days；　and　now　it　sounded　gayer　than　ever。　Gaiety…that　had　survived　the　Great　Disaster！　
　　The　Great　Disaster！　Ish　had　not　thought　of　those　words　for　a　long　time。　Now　they　seemed　to　have　lost　meaning。　Those　people　who　had　died　then　would　now　be　dead　anyway；　from　mere　passage　of　time。　Now　it　seemed　to　make　little　difference　whether　they　had　all　died　in　one　year；　or　slowly　over　many　years。　And　as　for　the　loss　of　civilization…about　that　too　he　had　long　doubted。　
　　The　young　man　still　whistled　gaily；　and　Ish　thought　that　he　could　remember　the　words　〃Oh；　what　fun　it　is。。。〃　He　could　ask　the　young　man　about　the　words。　As　he　sat　there　in　the　deep　cleft　between　the　two　rocks；　however；　Ish　still　found　himself　too　tired　to　bother　asking　questions。　Nevertheless　his　mind　was　clear。　It　was　frighteningly　clear；　and　he　could　not　remember　when　before　he　had　been　able　to　think　so　deeply　in　behind　the　surface　of　things。　
　　〃What　is　all　this？〃　he　thought　to　himself。　〃Why　is　my　mind　so　keen　today？〃　He　thought　that　perhaps　it　might　be　from　the　shock　of　being　pulled　out　of　bed　so　roughly　and　forced　to　leave　the　burning　house。　But　he　was　not　sure。　All　he　knew　was　that　he　thought　more　clearly　than　he　had　been　able　to　do　since　he　could　remember。　
　　Still　he　wondered　at　the　faces　of　the　young　men　and　their　confidence；　when　outside　everything　was　burning。　Though　Ish　could　not　solve　that　problem；　yet　he　thought　much　about　it；　and　had　various　ideas。　Perhaps；　he　thought；　the　difference　lay　somewhere　in　the　difference　between　civilization　and　the　times　in　which　they　now　were　living。　In　civilization；　he　thought；　these　young　men　would　have　all　been　considering　one　another　as　rivals；　because　in　the　days　of　civilization　there　were　many　men。　They　did　not　think　much　about　the　world　outside　of　them　because　man　seemed　to　be　greatly　stronger　than　all　that　outside　world。　So　they　thought　mostly　about　how　they　could　get　the　better　of　other　people；　and　so　they　were　likely　not　to　trust　each　other　altogether；　not　even　brother　and　brother。　But　now；　he　thought；　when　men　are　very　few；　each　of　these　young　men　wanders　freely　with　his　bow　in　hand　and　his　dog　at　heel；　but　needs　his　rade　close　at　call。　Nevertheless　Ish　did　not　know；　and　though　his　mind　thought　very　clearly　and　very　deeply　in　those　hours；　still　he　was　not　sure。　
　　By　mid…afternoon　the　fire　had　swept　past　them；　and　was　burning　far　off　to　the　south。　They　left　the　shelter　of　the　rocks；　avoiding　places　where　the　fire　was　still　smouldering　and　where　embers　lay　hot；　they　made　their　way　southward　down　the　slope　of　the　hill　gradually；　without　much　difficulty。　Evidently　the　young　men　knew　what　they　were　doing。　Ish　did　not　bother　to　ask　questions　because　he　needed　all　his　strength　merely　to　keep　moving。　They　waited　for　him　patiently；　and　often　they　helped　him；　letting　him　rest　his　arms　across　their　shoulders。　Toward　evening；　when　his　strength　was　failing；　they　made　camp　near　a　stream。　Because　of　some　freak　of　the　wind　and　also　because　of　the　greater　growth　there；　the　fire　had　left　a　small　spot　unburned。　
　　A　little　water　was　running　in　the　stream…bed。　The　larger　game　all　seemed　to　have　run　before　the　flames；　but　many　quail　and　rabbits　had　taken　shelter　along　the　stream…bed；　and　the　young　men；　scattering　with　their　bows；　soon　came　back　with　plenty　of　food。　
　　One　of　them；　apparently　out　of　mere　habit；　began　to　make　a　fire　with　a　bow…drill。　But　the　others　laughed　at　him；　and　soon　gathered　together　some　still　glowing　and　smouldering　sticks　from　where　the　fire　had　swept　through。　
　　After　he　had　eaten　a　little　and　felt　stronger；　Ish　looked　around；　and　saw　by　the　gutted　ruins　of　a　great　building　that　they　had　camped　on　what　had　long　ago　been　the　campus　of　the　University。　Though　he　was　still　tired；　he　stood　up　curiously；　and　made　out　the　shape　of　the　Library　a　hundred　yards　or　so　distant。　The　trees　around　it　had　burned；　but　the　building　itself　was　still　intact。　Nearly　all　of　its　volumes；　the　whole　record　of　mankind；　would　probably　be　still　available。　Available　for　whom？　Ish　did　not　try　to　answer　the　question　that　rose　so　spontaneously　in　his　mind。　In　some　way；　the　rules　of　the　game　had　changed。　He　would　not　say　whether　they　had　changed　for　better　or　for　worse。　In　any　case；　the　Library…its　preservation　or　its　destruction…seemed　to　make　very　little　difference　in　his　thoughts　now。　Perhaps；　this　was　the　wisdom　of　old　age。　Perhaps；　it　was　only　despair　and　resignation。　
　　〃This　will　be　a　strange　place　for　me　to　sleep　tonight；〃　Ish　thought。　〃Will　the　ghosts　of　my　old　professors　move　before　me　after　all　these　years？　Will　I　dream　of　a　million　books　passing　in　endless　procession；　looking　reproachfully　upon　me　because　after　so　long　I　have　begun　to　have　doubts　in　them　and　all　they　stood　for？〃　
　　That　night；　however；　though　he　often　woke　and　was　cold　and　envied　the　young　men　sleeping　soundly；　yet　between　times　of　waking　he　slept　well　and　had　no　dreams；　because　he　was　very　tired　from　all　that　had　happened　during　the　day。　
　　
　　Chapter　3
　　In　the　dawn；　when　he　awoke　finally；　he　was　weak　but　clear…headed。　
　　〃This　is　very　strange；〃　he　thought；　〃because　in　the　last　few　years　I