rs.inthebestfamelies-第3部分

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　and　spoke。
　　〃Your　notebook；　Archie。　Confound　it。〃
　　
　　2
　　THE　following　morning；　Saturday；　I　was　in　the　office　typing　the　final　report　on　a　case　which　I　will　not　identify　by　name　because　it　was　never　allowed　to　get　within　a　mile　of　a　newspaper　or　a　microphone。　We　were　mitted　on　Mrs。　Rackham's　job；　since　I　had　deposited　her　check　Friday　afternoon；　but　no　move　had　been　made　yet；　not　even　a　phone　call　to　any　of　the　names　she　had　given　us；　because　it　was　Wolfe's　idea　that　first　of　all　we　must　have　a　look　at　him。　With　Wolfe's　settled　policy　of　never　leaving　his　house　on　business；　and　with　no　plausible　excuse　for　getting　Barry　Rackham　to　the　office；　I　would　have　to　do　the　looking；　and　that　had　been　arranged　for。
　　Mrs。　Rackham　had　insisted　that　her　husband　must　positively　not　know　or　even　suspect　that　he　was　being　investigated；　and　neither　must　anyone　else；　so　the　arrangements　for　the　look　were　a　little　plicated。　She　vetoed　my　suggestion　that　I　should　be　invited　to　join　a　small　week…end　gathering　at　her　country　home　in　Westchester；　on　the　ground　that　someone　would　probably　recognize　the　Archie　Goodwin　who　worked　for　Nero　Wolfe。　It　was　Calvin　Leeds　who　offered　an　amendment　that　was　adopted。　He　had　a　little　place　of　his　own　at　the　edge　of　her　estate；　where　he　raised　dogs；　called　Hillside　Kennels。　A　month　ago　one　of　his　valuable　dogs　had　been　poisoned；　and　I　was　to　go　there　Saturday　afternoon　as　myself；　a　detective　named　Archie　Goodwin；　to　investigate　the　poisoning。　His　cousin　would　invite　him　to　her　place；　Birchvale；　for　dinner；　and　I　would　go　along。
　　It　was　a　quiet　Saturday　morning　in　the　office；　with　Wolfe　up　in　the　plant　rooms　as　usual　from　nine　to　eleven；　and　I　finished　typing　the　report　of　a　certain　case　with　no　interruptions　except　a　couple　of　phone　calls　which　I　handled　myself；　and　one　for　which　I　had　to　give　Wolfe　a　buzz…from　somebody　at　Mummiani's　on　Fulton　Street　to　say　that　they　had　just　got　eight　pounds　of　fresh　sausage　from　Bill　Darst　at　Hackettstown；　and　Wolfe　could　have　half　of　it。　Since　Wolfe　regards　Darst　as　the　best　sausage　maker　west　of　Cherbourg；　he　asked　that　it　be　sent　immediately　by　messenger；　and　for　heaven's　sake　not　with　dry　ice。
　　When；　at　11：　o　i；　the　sound　of　Wolfe's　elevator　came；　I　got　the　big　dictionary　in　front　of　me　on　my　desk；　opened　to　H；　and　was　bent　over　it　as　he　entered　the　office；　crossed　to　his　oversized　custom…built　chair；　and　sat。　He　didn't　bite　at　once　because　his　mind　was　elsewhere。　Even　before　he　rang　for　beer　he　asked；　〃Has　the　sausage　e？〃
　　Without　looking　up　I　told　him　no。
　　He　pressed　the　button　twice…the　beer　signal…leaned　back；　and　frowned　at　me。　I　didn't　see　the　frown；　absorbed　as　I　was　in　the　dictionary；　but　it　was　in　his　tone　of　voice。
　　〃What　are　you　looking　up？〃　he　demanded。
　　〃Oh；　just　a　word；〃　I　said　casually。　〃Checking　up　on　our　client。　I　thought　she　was　illiterate；　her　calling　you　handsome…remember？　But；　by　gum；　it　was　merely　an　understatement。　Here　it　is；　absolutely　kosher：　'Handsome：　moderately　large。'　For　an　example　it　gives　'a　handsome　sum　of　money。'　So　she　was　dead　right；　you're　a　handsome　detective；　meaning　a　moderately　large　detective。〃　I　closed　the　dictionary　and　returned　it　to　its　place；　remarking　cheerfully；　〃Live　and　learn！〃
　　It　was　a　dud。　Ordinarily　that　would　have　started　him　tossing　phrases　and　adjectives；　but　he　was　occupied。　Maybe　he　didn't　even　hear　me。　When　Fritz　came　from　the　kitchen　with　the　beer；　Wolfe；　taking　from　a　drawer　the　gold　bottle　opener　that　a　pleased　client　had　given　him；　spoke。
　　〃Fritz；　good　news。　We're　getting　some　of　Mr。　Darst's　sausage…four　pounds。〃
　　Fritz　let　his　eyes　gleam。　〃Ha！　Today？〃
　　〃Any　moment。〃　Wolfe　poured　beer。　〃That　raises　the　question　of　cloves　again。　What　do　you　think？〃
　　〃I'm　against　it；〃　Fritz　said　firmly。
　　Wolfe　nodded。　〃I　think　I　agree。　I　think　I　do。　You　may　remember　what　Marko　Vukcic　said　last　year…and　by　the　way；　he　must　be　invited　for　a　taste　of　this。　For　Monday　luncheon？〃
　　〃That　would　be　possible；〃　Fritz　conceded；　〃but　we　have　arranged　for　shad　with　roe…〃
　　〃Of　course。〃　Wolfe　lifted　his　glass　and　drank；　put　it　down　empty；　and　used　his　handkerchief　on　his　lips。　That；　he　thought；　was　the　only　way　for　a　man　to　scent　a　handkerchief。　〃We'll　have　Marko　for　the　sausage　at　Monday　dinner；　followed　by　duck　Mondor。〃　He　leaned　forward　and　wiggled　a　finger。
　　〃Now　about　the　shallots　and　fresh　thyme：　there's　no　use　depending　on　Mr。　Colson。　We　might　get　diddled　again。　Archie　will　have　to　go…〃
　　At　that　point　Archie　had　to　go　answer　the　doorbell；　which　I　was　glad　to　do。
　　I　fully　appreciate；　mosdy　anyhow；　the　results　of　Wolfe's　and　Fritz's　powwows　on　grub　when　it　arrives　at　the　table；　but　the　gab　often　strikes　me　as　overdone。　So　I　didn't　mind　the　call　to　the　hall　and　the　front　door。　There　I　found　a　young　man　with　a　pug　nose　and　a　package；　wearing　a　cap　that　said　〃Fleet　Messenger　Service。〃　I　signed　the　slip；　shut　the　door；　started　back　down　the　hall；　and　was　met　not　only　by　Fritz　but　by　Wolfe　too；　who　can　move　well　enough　when　there's　something　he　thinks　is　worth　moving　for。
　　He　took　the　package　from　me　and　headed　for　the　kitchen；　followed　by　Fritz　and　me。
　　The　small　carton　was　sealed　with　tape。　In　the　kitchen　Wolfe　put　it　on　the　long　table；　reached　to　the　rack　for　a　knife；　cut　the　tape；　and　pulled　the　Baps　up。　My　reflexes　are　quick；　and　the　instant　the　hissing　noise　started　I　grabbed　Wolfe's　arm　to　haul　him　back；　yelling　at　Fritz；　〃Watch　out！　Drop！〃
　　Wolfe　can　move　all　right；　considering　what　he　has　to　move。　He　and　I　went　through　the　open　door　into　the　hall　before　the　explosion　came；　and　Fritz　came　bounding　after；　pulling　the　door　with　him。　We　all　kept　going；　along　the　short　stretch　of　hall　to　the　office　door；　and　into　the　office。　There　we　stopped　dead。　No　explosion　yet。
　　〃It's　still　hissing；〃　I　said；　and　moved。
　　〃e　back　here'〃　Wolfe　manded。
　　〃Be　quiet；〃　I　manded　back；　and　dropped　to　my　hands　and　knees　and　made　it　into　the　hall。　There　I　stopped　to　sniff；　crawled　to　within　a　yard　of　the　crack　under　the　kitchen　door；　and　sniffed　again。
　　I　arose；　returned　to　the　office　on　my　feet；　and　told　them。　〃Gas。　Tear　gas；　I　think。　The　hissing　has　stopped。〃
　　Wolfe　snorted。
　　〃No　sausage；〃　Fritz　said　grimly。
　　〃If　it　had　been　a　trigger　job　on　a　grenade；〃　I　told　him；　〃there　would　have　been　plenty　or　sausage。　Not　for　us；　of　us。　Now　it's　merely　a　damn　nuisance。　You'd　better　sit　here　and　chat　a　while。〃
　　I　marched　to　the　hall　and　shut　the　door　behind　me；　went　and　opened　the　front　door　wide；　came　back　and　stood　at　the　kitchen　door　and　took　a　full　breath；　opened　the　door；　raced　through　and　opened　the　back　door　into　the　courtyard；　and　ran　back　again　to　the　front。　Even　there　the　air　current　was　too　gassy　for　fort；　so　I　moved　out　to　the　stoop。　I　had　been　there　only　a　moment　when　I　heard　my　name　called。
　　〃Archie！〃
　　I　turned。　Wolfe's　head　with　its　big　oblong　face　was　protruding　from　a　window　of　the　front　room。
　　〃Yes；　sir；〃　I　said　brightly。
　　〃Who　brought　that　package？〃
　　I　told　him　Fleet　Messenger　Service。
　　When　the　breeze　through　the　hall　had　cleared　the　air　I　returned　to　the　kitchen　and　Fritz　joined　me…　We　gave　the　package　a　look　and　found　it　was　quite　simple：　a　metal　cylinder　with　a　valve；　with　a　brass　rod　that　had　been　adjusted　so　that　when　the　package　was　opened　so　was　the　valve。　There　was　still　a　strong　smell；　close　up；　and　Fritz　took　it　to　the　basement。　I　went　to　the　office　and　found　Wolfe　behind　his　desk；　busy　at　the　phone。
　　I　dropped　into　my　chair　and　dabbed　at　my　runny　eyes　with　my　handkerchief。　When　he　hung　up　I　asked；　〃Any　luck？〃
　　〃I　didn't　expect　any；〃　he　growled。
　　〃Right。　Shall　I　call　a　cop？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　I　nodded。　〃The　question　was　rhetorical。〃　I　dabbed　at　my　eyes　some　more；　and　blew　my　nose。　〃Nero　Wolfe　does　not　call　cops。　Nero　Wolfe　opens　his　own　packages　of　sausage　and　makes　his　own　enemies　bite　the　dust〃　I　blew　my　nose　again。　〃Nero　Wolfe　is　a　man　who　will　go　far　if　he　opens　one　package　too　many。　Nero　Wolfe　has　never…〃
　　〃The　question　was　not　rhetorical；〃　Wolfe　said　rudely。　〃That　is　not　what　rhetorical　means。〃
　　〃No？　I　asked　it。　I　meant　it　to　be　rhetorical。　Can　you　prove　that　I　don't　know　what