dk.solesurvivor-第22部分

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h　to　do　first。　But　now　our　kids　will　grow　up　without　ever　knowing　Bob's　dad　or　mom；　and　they　were　such　good　people。'
　　'It's　not　your　fault；'　Joe　said。　'It's　all　out　of　our　hands。　We're　just　passengers　on　this　train；　we　don't　drive　it；　no　matter　how　much　we　like　to　think　we　do。'
　　'Have　you　really　reached　that　level　of　acceptance？'
　　'Trying。'
　　'Are　you　even　close？'
　　'Shit；　no。'
　　She　laughed　softly。
　　Joe　hadn't　made　anyone　laugh　in　a　year…except　Rose's　friend　on　the　phone　earlier。　Although　pain　and　irony　coloured　Clarise's　brief　laughter；　there　was　also　relief　in　it。　Having　affected　her　this　way；　Joe　felt　a　connection　with　life　that　had　eluded　him　for　so　long。
　　After　a　silence；　Clarise　said；　'Joe；　could　this　Rose　be　an　evil　person？'
　　'No。　Just　the　opposite。'
　　Her　freckled　face；　so　open　and　trusting　by　nature；　now　clouded　with　doubt。　'You　sound　so　sure。'
　　'You　would　be　too；　if　you　met　her。'
　　Bob　Vadance　returned　with　three　glasses；　a　bowl　of　cracked　ice；　a　litre　of　7…Up；　and　a　bottle　of　Seagram's　7　Crown。　'I'm　afraid　there's　no　real　choice　to　offer；'　he　apologized。　'Nobody　in　this　family's　much　of　a　drinker…but　when　we　do　take　a　touch；　we　like　it　simple。'
　　'This　is　fine；'　Joe　said；　and　accepted　his　7…and…7　when　it　was　ready。
　　They　tasted　their　drinks…Bob　had　mixed　them　strong…and　for　a　moment　the　only　sound　was　the　clinking　of　ice。
　　Clarise　said；　'We　know　it　was　suicide；　because　she　taped　it。'
　　Certain　that　he　had　misunderstood；　Joe　said；　'Who　taped　it？'
　　'Nora；　Bob's　mother；'　Clarise　said。　'She　videotaped　her　own　suicide。'
　　
　　Twilight　evaporated　in　a　steam　of　crimson　and　purple　light；　and　out　of　that　neon　vapour；　night　coalesced　against　the　windows　of　the　yellow　and　white　living　room。
　　Quickly　and　succinctly；　with　mendable　self…control；　Clarise　revealed　what　she　knew　of　her　mother…in…law's　horrible　death。　She　spoke　in　a　low　voice；　yet　every　word　was　bell…note　clear　and　seemed　to　reverberate　through　Joe　until　he　gradually　began　to　tremble　with　the　cumulative　vibrations。
　　Rob　Vadance　finished　none　of　his　wife's　sentences。　He　remained　silent　throughout　looking　at　neither　Clarise　nor　Joe。　He　stared　at　his　drink；　to　which　he　resorted　frequently。
　　
　　The　pact　Sanyo　8mm　camcorder　that　had　captured　the　death　was　Tom　Vadance's　toy。　It　had　been　stored　in　the　closet　in　his　study　since　before　his　death　aboard　Flight　353。
　　The　camera　was　easy　to　use。　Fuzzy…logic　technology　automatically　adjusted　the　shutter　speed　and　white　balance。　Though　Nora　had　never　had　much　experience　with　it；　she　could　have　learned　the　essentials　of　its　operation　in　a　few　minutes。
　　The　NiCad　battery　had　not　contained　much　juice　after　a　year　in　the　closet。　Therefore；　Nora　Vadance　had　taken　time　to　recharge　it；　indicating　a　chilling　degree　of　premeditation。　The　police　found　the　AC　adaptor　and　the　battery　charger　plugged　into　an　outlet　on　the　kitchen　counter。
　　Tuesday　morning　of　this　week；　Nora　went　outside　to　the　back　of　the　house　and　set　the　camcorder　on　a　patio　table。　She　used　two　paperback　books　as　shims　to　tilt　the　camera　to　the　desired　angle；　and　then　she　switched　it　on。
　　With　the　videotape　rolling；　she　positioned　a　vinyl…strap　patio　chair　ten　feet　from　the　lens。　She　revisited　the　camcorder　to　peer　through　the　viewfinder；　to　be　sure　that　the　chair　was　in　the　centre　of　the　frame。
　　After　returning　to　the　chair　and　slightly　repositioning　it；　she　pletely　disrobed　in　view　of　the　camcorder；　neither　in　the　manner　of　a　performer　nor　with　any　hesitancy　but　simply　as　though　she　were　getting　ready　for　a　bath。　She　neatly　folded　her　blouse；　her　slacks；　and　her　underwear；　and　she　put　them　aside　on　the　flagstone　floor　of　the　patio。
　　Naked；　she　walked　out　of　camera　range；　apparently　going　into　the　house；　to　the　kitchen。　In　forty　seconds；　when　she　returned；　she　was　carrying　a　butcher　knife。　She　sat　in　the　chair；　facing　the　camcorder。
　　According　to　the　medical　examiner's　preliminary　report；　at　approximately　ten　minutes　past　eight　o'clock；　Tuesday　morning；　Nora　Vadance；　in　good　health　and　previously　thought　to　be　of　sound　mind；　having　recently　rebounded　from　depression　over　her　husband's　death；　took　her　own　life。　Gripping　the　handle　of　the　butcher　knife　in　both　hands；　with　savage　force；　she　drove　the　blade　deep　into　her　abdomen。　She　extracted　it　and　stabbed　herself　again。　The　third　time；　she　pulled　the　blade　left　to　right；　eviscerating　herself。　Dropping　the　knife；　she　slumped　in　the　chair；　where　she　bled　to　death　in　less　than　one　minute。
　　The　camcorder　continued　to　record　the　corpse　to　the　end　of　the　twenty…minute　8mm　cassette。
　　Two　hours　later；　at　ten　thirty；　Takashi　Mishima；　a　sixty…six…year…old　Japanese　gardener；　on　his　scheduled　rounds；　discovered　the　body　and　immediately　called　the　police。
　　When　Clarise　finished；　Joe　could　say　nothing　only；　'Jesus。'
　　Bob　added　whiskey　to　their　drinks。　His　hands　were　shaking；　and　the　bottle　rattled　against　each　glass。
　　Finally　Joe　said；　'I　gather　the　police　have　the　tape。'
　　'Yeah；'　Bob　said。　'Until　the　hearing　or　inquest　or　whatever　it　is　they　have　to　hold。'
　　'So　I　hope　this　video　is　second…hand　knowledge　to　you。　I　hope　neither　of　you　had　to　see　it。'
　　'I　haven't；'　Bob　said。　'But　Clarise　did。'
　　She　was　staring　into　her　drink。　'They　told　us　what　was　in　it　but　neither　Bob　nor　I　could　believe　it；　even　though　they　were　the　police；　even　though　they　had　no　reason　to　lie　to　us。　So　I　went　into　the　station　on　Thursday　morning；　before　the　funeral；　and　watched　it。　We　had　to　know。　And　now　we　do。　When　they　give　us　the　tape　back；　I'll　destroy　it。　Bob　should　never　see　it。　Never。'
　　Though　Joe's　respect　for　this　woman　was　already　high；　she　rose　dramatically　in　his　esteem。
　　'There　are　some　things　I'm　wondering　about；'　he　said。　'If　you　don't　mind　some　questions。'
　　'Go　ahead；'　Bob　said。　'We　have　a　lot　of　questions　about　it　too；　a　thousand　damn　questions。'
　　'First。　。　。　it　doesn't　sound　like　there　could　be　any　possibility　of　duress。'
　　Clarise　shook　her　head。　'It's　not　something　you　could　force　anyone　to　do　to　herself；　is　it？　Not　just　with　psychological　pressure　or　threats。　Besides；　there　wasn't　anyone　else　in　camera　range…and　no　shadows　of　anyone。　Her　eyes　didn't　focus　on　anyone　off　camera。　She　was　alone。'
　　'When　you　described　the　tape；　Clarise；　it　sounded　as　if　Nora　was　going　through　this　like　a　machine。'
　　'That　was　the　way　she　looked　during　most　of　it。　No　expression；　her　face　just　。　。　。　slack。'
　　　During　most　of　it？　So　there　was　a　moment　she　showed　emotion？'
　　'Twice。　After　she'd　almost　pletely　undressed；　she　hesitated　before　taking　off　。。。　her　panties。　She　was　a　modest　woman；　Joe。
　　One　more　weird　thing　about　all　of　this。'
　　
　　Eyes　closed；　holding　his　cold　glass　of　7…and…7　against　his　forehead；　Bob　said；　'Even　if　。　。　。　even　if　we　accept　that　she　was　so　mentally　disturbed　she　could　do　this　to　herself；　it's　hard　to　picture　her　videotaping　herself　naked。　。　。　or　wanting　to　be　found　that　way。'
　　Clarise　said；　'There's　a　high　fence　around　the　backyard。　Thick　bougainvillea　on　it。　The　neighbours　couldn't　have　seen　her。　But　Bob's　right。。。　she　wouldn't　want　to　be　found　like　that。　Anyway；　as　she　was　about　to　take　off　the　panties；　she　hesitated。　Finally　that　dead；　slack　look　dissolved。　Just　for　an　instant；　this　terrible　expression　came　across　her　face。'
　　'Terrible　how？'　Joe　asked。
　　Grimacing　as　she　conjured　the　grisly　video　in　her　mind；　Clarise　described　the　moment　as　if　she　were　seeing　it　again：　'Her　eyes　are　flat；　blank；　the　lids　a　little　heavy　。　。　。　then　all　of　a　sudden　they　go　wide　and　there's　depth　to　them；　like　normal　eyes。　Her　face　wrenches。　First　so　expressionless　but　now　torn　with　emotion。　Shock。　She　looks　so　shocked；　terrified。　A　lost　expression　that　breaks　your　heart。　But　it　lasts　only　a　second　or　two；　maybe　three　seconds；　and　now　she　shudders；　and　the　look　is　gone；　gone；　and　she's　as　calm　as　a　machine　again。　She　takes　off　her　panties；　folds　them；　and　puts　them　aside。'
　　'Was　she　on　any　medication？'　Joe　asked。　'Any　reason　to　believe　she　might　have　overdosed　on　something　that　induced　a　fugue　state　or　a　severe　personality　change？'
　　Clarise　said；　'Her　doctor　tells　us