cb.imajica2-第39部分

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　〃Haven't　we　shed　enough　blood　tonight？〃　the　Maestro　said。
　〃You；　not　me；〃　Godolphin　replied。　He　jabbed　a　finger　in　Gentle's　direction；　the　crucifix　hanging　from　his　fist。　〃You'll　have　no　peace　after　this；〃　he　said。　〃Roxborough's　already　talking　about　a　purge；　and　I'm　going　to　give　him　every　guinea　he　needs　to　break　your　back。　You　and　all　your　works　are　damned！〃
　〃Even　Judith？〃
　〃I　never　want　to　see　that　creature　again。〃
　〃But　she's　yours；　Joshua；〃　the　Maestro　said　flatly；　descending　the　stairs　as　he　spoke。　〃She's　yours　forever　and　ever。　She　won't　age。　She　won't　die。　She　belongs　to　the　family　Godolphin　until　the　sun　goes　out。〃
　〃Then　I'll　kill　her。〃
　〃And　have　her　innocent　soul　on　your　blotted　conscience？〃
　〃She's　got　no　soul！〃
　〃I　promised　you　Judith　to　the　lash；　and　that's　what　she　is。　A　religion。　A　discipline。　A　sacred　mystery。　Remember？〃
　Godolphin　buried　his　face　in　his　hands。
　〃She's　the　one　truly　innocent　soul　left　among　us；　Joshua。　Preserve　her。　Love　her　as　you've　never　loved　any　living　thing；　because　she's　our　only　victory。〃　He　took　hold　of　Godolphin's　hands　and　unmasked　him。　〃Don't　be　ashamed　of　our　ambition；〃　he　said。　〃And　don't　believe　anyone　who　tells　you　it　was　the　Devil's　doing。　We　did　what　we　did　out　of　love。〃
　〃Which？〃　Godolphin　said。　〃Making　her；　or　the　Reconciliation？〃
　〃It's　all　One；〃　he　replied。　〃Believe　that；　at　least。〃
　Godolphin　claimed　his　hands　from　the　Maestro's　grip。　〃I'll　never　believe　anything　again〃　he　said　and；　turning　his　back；　began　his　weary　descent。
　Standing　on　the　stairs；　watching　the　memory　disappear；　Gentle　said　a　second　farewell。　He　had　never　seen　Godolphin　again　after　that　night。　A　few　weeks　later　the　man　had　retreated　to　his　estate　and　sealed　himself　up　there；　living　in　silent　self…mortification　until　despair　had　burst　his　tender　heart。
　〃It　was　my　fault；〃　said　the　boy　on　the　stairs　behind　him。
　Gentle　had　forgotten　Lucius　was　still　there；　watching　and　listening。　He　turned　back　to　the　child。
　〃No；〃　he　said；　〃You're　not　to　blame。〃
　Lucius　had　wiped　the　blood　from　his　chin；　but　he　couldn't　control　his　trembling。　His　teeth　chattered　between　his　stumbling　words。　〃I　did　everything　you　told　me　to　do；〃　he　said。　〃I　swear。　I　swear。　But　I　must　have　missed　some　words　from　the　rites　or。。。　I　don't　know。。。　maybe　mixed　up　the　stones。〃
　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃
　〃The　stones　you　gave　me；　to　replace　the　flawed　ones。〃
　〃I　gave　you　no　stones；　Lucius。〃
　〃But　Maestro；　you　did。　Two　stones；　to　go　in　the　circle。　You　told　me　to　bury　the　ones　I　took；　at　the　step。　Don't　you　remember？〃
　Listening　to　the　boy；　Gentle　finally　understood　how　the　Reconciliation　had　e　to　grief。　His　other…born　in　the　upper　room　of　this　very　house…had　used　Lucius　as　his　agent；　sending　him　to　replace　a　part　of　the　circle　with　stones　that　resembled　the　originals　（forging　ran　in　the　blood）；　knowing　they　would　not　preserve　the　circle's　integrity　when　the　ceremony　reached　its　height。
　But　while　the　man　who　was　remembering　these　scenes　understood　how　all　this　had　e　about；　to　Maestro　Sartori；　still　ignorant　of　the　other　self　he'd　created　in　the　womb　of　the　doubling　circle；　this　remained　an　unfathomable　mystery。
　〃I　gave　you　no　such　instruction；〃　he　said　to　Lucius。
　〃I　understand；〃　the　youth　replied。　〃You　have　to　lay　the　blame　at　my　feet。　That's　why　Maestros　need　adepts。　I　begged　you　for　the　responsibility；　arid　I'm　glad　to　have　had　it　even　if　I　failed。〃　He　reached　into　his　pocket　as　he　spoke。　〃Forgive　me；　Maestro；〃　he　said　and；　drawing　out　a　knife；　had　it　at　his　heart　in　the　space　of　a　thunderclap。　As　the　tip　drew　blood　the　Maestro　caught　hold　of　the　youth's　hand　and；　wrenching　the　blade　from　his　fingers；　threw　it　down　the　stairs。
　〃Who　gave　you　permission　to　do　that？〃　he　said　to　Lucius。　〃I　thought　you　wanted　to　be　an　adept？〃
　〃I　did；〃　the　boy　said。
　〃And　now　you're　out　of　love　with　it。　You　see　humiliation　and　you　want　no　more　of　the　business。〃
　〃No！〃　Lucius　protested。　〃I　still　want　wisdom。　But　I　failed　tonight。〃
　〃We　all　failed　tonight！〃　the　Maestro　said。　He　took　hold　of　the　trembling　boy　and　spoke　to　him　softly。　〃I　don't　know　how　this　tragedy　came　about；〃　he　said。　〃But　I　sniff　more　than　your　shite　in　the　air。　Some　plot　was　here；　laid　against　our　high　ambition；　and　perhaps　if　I　hadn't　been　blinded　by　my　own　glory　I'd　have　seen　it。　The　fault　isn't　yours；　Lucius。　And　stopping　your　own　life　won't　bring　Abelove；　or　Esther；　or　any　of　the　others　back。　Listen　to　me。〃
　〃I'm　listening。〃
　〃Do　you　still　want　to　be　my　adept？〃
　〃Of　course。〃
　〃Will　you　obey　my　instructions　now；　to　the　letter？〃
　〃Anything。　Just　tell　me　what　you　need　from　me。〃
　〃Take　my　books；　all　that　you　can　carry；　and　go　as　far　from　here　as　you're　able　to　go。　To　the　other　end　of　the　Imajica；　if　you　can　learn　the　trick　of　it。　Somewhere　Roxborough　and　his　hounds　won't　ever　find　you。　There's　a　hard　winter　ing　for　men　like　us。　It'll　kill　all　but　the　cleverest。　But　you　can　be　clever；　can't　you？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃I　knew　it。〃　The　Maestro　smiled。　〃You　must　teach　yourself　in　secret；　Lucius；　and　you　must　learn　to　live　outside　time。　That　way；　the　years　won't　wither　you；　and　when　Roxborough's　dead　you'll　be　able　to　try　again。〃
　〃Where　will　you　be；　Maestro？〃
　〃Forgotten；　if　I'm　lucky。　But　never　forgiven；　I　think。　That　would　be　too　much　to　hope　for。　Don't　look　so　dejected；　Lucius。　I　have　to　know　there's　some　hope；　and　I'm　charging　you　to　carry　it　for　me。〃
　〃It's　my　honor；　Maestro。〃
　As　he　replied；　Gentle　was　once　again　grazed　by　the　deja　vu　he'd　first　felt　when　he'd　encountered　Lucius　outside　the　dining　room　door。　But　the　touch　was　light；　and　passed　before　he　could　make　sense　of　it。
　〃Remember；　Lucius；　that　everything　you　learn　is　already　part　of　you；　even　to　the　Godhead　Itself。　Study　nothing　except　in　the　knowledge　that　you　already　knew　it。　Worship　nothing　except　in　adoration　of　your　true　self。　And　fear　nothing〃…there　the　Maestro　stopped　and　shuddered；　as　though　he　had　a　presentiment…〃fear　nothing　except　in　the　certainty　that　you　are　your　enemy's　begetter　and　its　only　hope　of　healing。　For　everything　that　does　evil　is　in　pain。　Will　you　remember　those　things？〃
　The　boy　looked　uncertain。　〃As　best　I　can；〃　he　said。
　〃That　will　have　to　suffice；〃　the　Maestro　said。　〃Now　。。。　get　out　of　here　before　the　purgers　e。〃
　He　let　go　of　the　boy's　shoulders；　and　Cobbitt　retreated　down　the　stairs；　backwards；　like　a　moner　from　the　king；　only　turning　and　heading　away　when　he　was　at　the　bottom。
　The　storm　was　overhead　now；　and　with　the　boy　gone；　taking　his　sewer　stench　with　him；　the　smell　of　electricity　was　strong。　The　candle　Gentle　held　flickered；　and　for　an　instant　he　thought　it　was　going　to　be　extinguished；　signaling　the　end　of　these　recollections；　at　least　for　tonight。　But　there　was　more　to　e。
　〃That　was　kind；〃　he　heard　Pie　'oh'　pah　say；　and　turned　to　see　the　mystif　standing　at　the　top　of　the　stairs。　It　had　discarded　its　soiled　clothes　with　its　customary　fastidiousness；　but　the　plain　shirt　and　trousers　it　wore　were　all　the　finery　it　needed　to　appear　in　perfection。　There　was　no　face　in　the　Imajica　more　beautiful　than　this；　Gentle　thought；　nor　form　more　graceful；　and　the　scenes　of　terror　and　recrimination　the　storm　had　brought　were　of　little　consequence　while　he　bathed　in　the　sight　of　it。　But　the　Maestro　he　had　been　had　not　yet　made　the　error　of　losing　this…miracle　and；　seeing　the　mystif；　was　more　concerned　that　his　deceits　had　been　discovered。
　〃Were　you　here　when　Godolphin　came？〃　he　asked。
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Then　you　know　about　Judith？〃
　〃I　can　guess。〃
　〃I　kept　it　from　you　because　I　knew　you　wouldn't　approve。〃
　〃It's　not　my　place　to　approve　or　otherwise。　I'm　not　your　wife；　that　you　should　fear　my　censure。〃
　〃Still；　I　do。　And　I　thought；　well；　when　the　Reconciliation　was　done　this　would　seem　like　a　little　indulgence；　and　you'd　say　I　deserved　it　because　of　what　I'd　achieved。　Now　it　seems　like　a　crime；　and　I　wish　it　could　be　undone。〃
　〃Do　you？　Truly？〃　the　mystif　said。
　The　Maestro　looked　up。　〃No；　I　don't；〃　he　said；　his　tone　that　of　a　man　surprised　by　a　revelation。　He　started　to　climb　the　stairs。　〃I　suppose　I　must　believe　what　I　told　Godolphin；　about　her　being　our。。。〃
　〃Victory；〃　Pie　prompted；　stepping　aside　to　let　the　summoner