cb.imajica2-第49部分
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ausing to think about it。 Had Sartori unleashed this immensity？ she wondered。 Was he so insane that he thought he could survive such devastation and build his New Yzordderrex on the rubble it left behind？ Or was his lunacy profounder still？ Was this juggernaut the true city of which he'd dreamed： a metropolis of storm and smoke that would stand to the World's End because that was its true name？
Now the sight was consumed by total darkness； and she let go of the breath she'd been holding。
〃It isn't over；〃 Oscar said； his voice close to her ear。
The darkness began to shred in several places； and through the gashes she saw a single figure； lying on a gray floor。 It was herself： a crude representation； but recognizable。
〃I warned you；〃 Oscar said。
The darkness this image had appeared through didn't entirely evaporate； but lingered like a fog； and out of it a second figure came and sank down beside her。 She knew before the action had unraveled that Oscar had made an error； thinking this was a prophecy of harm。 The shadow between her legs was no killer。 It was Gentle； and this scene was here； in the bowl's report； because the Reconciler stood as a sign of hope to set against the despair that had e before。 She heard Oscar moan as the shadow lover reached for her； putting his hand between her legs； then raising her foot to his mouth to begin his devouring。
〃It's killing you；〃 Oscar said。
Watched remotely； this was a rational interpretation。 But it wasn't death； of course； it was love。 And it wasn't prophecy； it was history： the very act they'd performed the night before。 Oscar was viewing it like a child； seeing its parents make love and thinking violence was being done in the marital bed。 She was glad of his error； in a way； saving her as it did from the problem of explaining this coupling。
She and the Reconciler were quickly intertwined； the veils of darkness attending on the act and deepening their mingled shadows； so that the lovers became a single knot； which shrank and shrank and finally disappeared altogether； leaving the stones to rattle on as an abstraction。
It was a strangely intimate conclusion to the sequence。 From temple； tower； and house to the storm had been a grim progression； but from the storm to this vision of love was altogether more optimistic： a sign； perhaps； that union could bring an end to the darkness that had gone before。
〃That's all there is；〃 Oscar said。 〃It just begins again from here。 Round and round。〃
She turned from the bowl as the din of stones； which had quieted as the love scene was sketched； became loud again。
〃You see the danger you're in？〃 he said。
〃I think I'm just an afterthought；〃 she said； hoping to steer him away from an analysis of what had been depicted。
〃Not to me you're not；〃 he replied； putting his arms around her。 For all his wounds； he was not a man to be resisted easily。 〃I want to protect you；〃 he said。 〃That's my duty。 I see that now。 I know you've been mistreated； but I can make reparations for that。 I can keep you here； safe and sound。〃
〃So you think we can hole up here and Armageddon will just pass over？〃
〃Have you got a better idea？〃
〃Yes。 We resist it； at all costs。〃
〃There's no victory to be had against the likes of that；〃 he said。
She could hear the stones' thunder behind her and knew they were picturing the storm again。
〃At least we've got some defenses here；〃 he went on。 〃I've got spirit guards at every door and every window。 You saw those in the kitchen？ They're the tiniest。〃
〃All male； are they？〃
〃What's that got to do with it？〃
〃They're not going to protect you； Oscar。〃
〃They're all we've got。〃
〃Maybe they're all you've got…〃
She slipped from his arms and headed for the door。 He followed her out onto the landing； demanding to know what she meant by this； and finally； inflamed by his cowardice； she turned back to him。
〃There's been a power under your nose for years。〃
〃What power？ Where？〃
〃Sealed up beneath Roxborough's tower。〃
〃What the hell are you talking about？〃
〃You don't know who she is？〃
〃No；〃 he said； angered now。 〃This is nonsense。〃
〃I've seen her； Oscar。〃
〃How？ Nobody but the Tabula Rasa gets into the tower。〃
〃I could show her to you。 Take you to the very place。〃
She dropped her volume； studying Oscar's anxious； ruddy features as she spoke。 〃I think maybe she's some kind of Goddess。 I've tried to get her out twice and failed。 I need help。 I need your help。〃
〃It's impossible；〃 he replied。 〃The tower's a fortress； now more than ever。 I tell you； this house is the only safe place left in the city。 It would be suicide for me to step out of here。〃
〃Then that's that；〃 she said； not about to debate with such timidity。 She started down the stairs； ignoring his calls for her to wait。
〃You can't leave me；〃 he said； as though amazed。 〃I love you。 Do you hear me？ I love you。〃
〃There's more important things than love；〃 she returned； thinking as she spoke that this was easy to say with Gentle awaiting her at home。 But it was also true。 She'd seen this city overturned and pitched into dust。 Preventing that was indeed more important than love； especially Oscar's spineless variety。
〃Don't forget to lock up after me；〃 she said as she reached the bottom of the stairs。 〃You never know what's going to e knocking on the door。〃
On the way home she stopped to buy groceries； which had never been her favorite chore but was today elevated into the realms of the surreal by the sense of foreboding she brought with her。 Here she was going about the business of purchasing domestic necessities； while the image of the killing cloud turned in her head。 But life had to go on； even if oblivion waited in the wings。 She needed milk； bread； and toilet paper； she needed deodorant and waste bags to line the bin in the kitchen。 It was only in fiction that the daily round of living was ignored so that grand events could take center stage。 Her body would hunger； tire； sweat； and digest until the final pall descended。 There was peculiar fort in this thought； and though the darkness gathering at the threshold of her world should have； distracted her from trivialities； its presence had precisely the reverse effect。 She was more pernickety than usual about the cheese she bought and sniffed at half a dozen deodorants before she found a scent that pleased her。
The shopping done； she headed home through streets buzzing with the business of a sunlit day； contemplating the problem of Celestine as she went。 With Oscar plainly unwilling to aid her； she would have to look for help elsewhere； and with her circle of trusted souls so shrunk； that only left Clem and Gentle。 The Reconciler had his own agenda； of course； but after the promises of the night before…the mitments to be with each other； sharing the fears and the visions…he'd surely understand her need to liberate Celestine； if only to put an end to the mystery。 She would tell him all she knew about Roxborough's prisoner； she decided； as soon as possible。
He wasn't home when she got back； which was no surprise。 He'd warned her that he'd be keeping odd hours as he laid the groundwork for the Reconciliation。 She prepared some lunch； then decided she hadn't got an appetite and went to work one up by tidying the bedroom； which was still chaos after the night's traffic。 As she straightened the sheets she discovered they had a tiny occupant： the blue stone （or； as she preferred to think of it； the egg）； which had been in one of the pockets of her ravaged clothes。 The sight of it diverted her from her bed making； and she sat on the edge of the mattress； passing the egg from hand to hand； wondering if perhaps it could deliver her； even briefly； into the cell where Celestine was locked。 Itliad of course been much reduced by Dowd's mites； but even when she'd first discovered it in Estabrook's safe it had been a fragment of a greater form and possessed some jurisidiction。 Did it still？
〃Show me the Goddess；〃 she said； clutching the egg tight。 〃Show me the Goddess。〃
Spoken plainly that way； the notion of her mind's removal from the physical world； and its flight； seemed absurd。 That wasn't the way the world worked； except perhaps at enchanted
