cb.imajica2-第50部分
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Spoken plainly that way； the notion of her mind's removal from the physical world； and its flight； seemed absurd。 That wasn't the way the world worked； except perhaps at enchanted midnights。 Now it was the middle of the afternoon； and the noise of day rose through the open window。 She was loath to go and close it； however。 She couldn't exile the world every time she wanted to alter her consciousness。 The street and the people in it…the dirt and the din and the summer sky…all had to be made part of the mechanism for transcendence； or else she'd e to grief the way her sister had； bound up and blind long before her eyes went from her head。
As was her wont； she began to talk to herself； coaxing the miracle。 〃It's happened before；〃 she said。 〃It can happen again。 Be patient； woman。〃
But the longer she sat； the stronger the sense of her own ludicrousness became。 The image of her idiot devotion appeared in her mind's eye。 There she was； sitting on the bed； staring at a piece of dead stone： a study in fatuity；
〃Fool；〃 she said to herself。
Suddenly weary of the whole fiasco； she got up from the bed。 In that rising she realized her error。 Her mind's eye showed her the motion as if it was detached from her； hovering near the window。 She felt a sudden pang of panic and for the second tune in the space of thirty seconds called herself fool； not for wasting time with the egg but for failing to realize that the image she'd taken as evidence of her own failure； that of herself sitting waiting for something to happen； was in fact proof that it had。 Her sight had drifted from her so subtly she'd not even known it had gone。
〃The cell；〃 she said； instructing her subtle eye。 〃Show me the Goddess's cell。〃
Though it was close to the window； and could have flown from there； her eye instead rose at a sickening speed； till she was looking down at herself from the ceiling。 She saw her body rock below her； as the flight giddied her。 Then her sight descended。 The top of her head loomed like a planet beneath her； and she was plunged into her skull； down； down into the darkness of her body。 She felt her own panic on all sides： the frantic labor of her heart； her lungs drawing shallow breaths。 There was none of the brightness she'd found in Celestine's body； no hint of that luminous blue the Goddess had shared with the stone。 There was only the dark and its turmoil。 She wanted to make the egg understand its mistake and draw her mind's eye up out of this pit； but if her lips were making such pleas； which she doubted； they were ignored； and her fall went on； and on； as though her sight h；ad bee a fly speck in a well and would fall for hours without reaching its bowels。
And then； below her； a tiny point of light； which grew as she approached； to show itself not a point but a strip of rippling luminescence； like the purest glyph imaginable。 What was this doing inside her？ Was it some relic of the working that had created her； a fragment of Sartori's feit； like Gentle's signature hidden in the brushwork of his forged canvases？ She was upon it now； or rather in it； its brightness a blaze that made her mind's eye squint。
And out of the blaze； images。 Such images！ She knew neither their origins nor their purpose； but they were exquisite enough to make her forgive the misdirection that had led her here rather than to Celestine。 She seemed to be in a paradisiacal city； half overgrown with glorious flora； the profusion of which was fed by waters that rose like arches and colonnades on every side。 Flocks of stars flew overhead and made perfect circles at her zenith； mists hung at her ankles； laying their veils beneath her feet to ease her step。 She passed through this city like a hallowed daughter and came to rest in a large airy room； where water cascaded in place of doors； and the merest stab of sun brought rainbows。 There she sat and with these borrowed eyes saw her own face and breasts； so vast they might have been sculpted for a temple； raised above her。 Did milk seep from her nipples； and did she sing a lullaby？ She thought so； but her attention strayed too quickly from breasts and face to be sure； her gaze turned towards the far end of the chamber。 Somebody had entered： a man； so wounded and ill…mended she didn't recognize him at first。 It was only when he was almost upon her that she realized the pany she kept。 It was Gentle； unshaven and badly fed； but greeting her with tears of joy in his eyes。 If words were exchanged she didn't hear them； but he fell to his knees in front of her； and her gaze went between his upturned face and the monumental effigy behind her。 It was not； after all； a thing of painted stone； but was in this vision made of living flesh； moving； weeping； even glancing down at the worshiper she was。
AH this was strange enough； but there was stranger still to e； as she looked back towards Gentle and saw him pluck from a hand too tiny to be hers the very stone that had given her this dream。 He took it with gratitude； his tears finally abating。 Then he rose； and as he made his way back towards the liquid door； the day beyond it blazed； and the scene was washed away in light。
She sensed that the enigma； whatever it signified； was passing away； but she had no power to hold it。 The glyph in her core appeared before her； and she rose from it like a diver from some treasure the deep would not relinquish； up through the dark and out into the place she'd left。
Nothing had changed in the room； but a sudden squall was on the world outside； its torrent heavy enough to drop a sheet of water between the raised window and the sill。 She stood up； clutching the stone。 The journey had left her lightheaded； however； and she knew if she tried to go to the kitchen and put some food in her belly her legs would fold up beneath her； so she lay down and let the pillow have her head awhile。
She didn't think she slept； but it was as difficult to distinguish between sleep and wakefulness as it had been in Quaisoir's bed。 The visions she'd seen in the darkness of her own belly were as insistent as some prophetic dream and stayed with her； the music of the rain a perfect acpaniment to the memory。 It was only when the clouds moved on； taking their deluge south； and the sun appeared between the sodden curtains； that sleep overcame her。
When she woke； it was to the sound of Gentle's key in the lock。 It was night； or close to it； and he switched on the light in the adjacent room。 She sat up and was about to call to him when she thought better of it and； instead； watched through the partially open door。 She saw his face for only an instant； but the glimpse was enough to make her want him to e in to her with kisses。 He didn't。 Instead； he paced back and forth next door； massaging his hands as though they ached； working first at the fingers； then at the palms。
Finally； she couldn't be patient any longer and got up； sleepily murmuring his name。 He didn't hear her at first； and she had to speak again before he realized it was being called。 Only then did he turn and put on a smile for her。
〃Still awake？〃 he said fondly。 〃You shouldn't have stayed up。〃
〃Are you all right？〃
〃Yes。 Yes； of course。〃 He put his hands to his face。 〃This is a hard business； you know。 I didn't expect it to be so difficult。〃
〃Do you want to tell me about it？〃
〃Some other tune；〃 he said； approaching the door。 She took his hands in hers。 〃What's this？〃 he said。
She was still holding the egg； but not for long。 He had it from her palm with the ease of a pickpocket。 She wanted to snatch it back； but she fought the instinct and let him study his prize。
〃Pretty；〃 he said。 Then； less lightly： 〃Where did it e from？〃
Why did she hesitate to answer？ Because he looked so weary； and she didn't want to burden him with new mysteries when he had a surfeit of his own？ It was that in part； but there was another part that was altogether less clear to her。 Something to do with the fact that in her vision she'd seen him far more broken that he was at present； wounded and wretched； and somehow that condition had to remain her secret； at least for a time。
He put the egg to his nose and sniffed it。 〃I smell you；〃 he said。
〃No。。。。〃
〃Yes； I do。 Where have you been k
