cb.imajica2-第63部分
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He took a step towards her； and though she tried to conceal her reluctance to be touched； she failed。
〃Judith；〃 he said。 〃I swear I don't know this Celestine。 It's you I think about when I'm not here…〃
〃I don't want to discuss that now。〃
〃What do you suspect me of？〃 he said。 〃I've done nothing。 I swear。〃 He laid both his hands on his chest。 〃You're hurting me； Judith。 I don't know if that's what you want to do； but you are。 You're hurting me。〃
〃That's a new experience for you； is it？〃
〃Is that what this is about？ A sentimental education？ If it is； I beg you； don't torment me now。 We've got too many enemies to be fighting with each other。〃
〃I'm not fighting。 I don't want to fight。〃
〃Good；〃 he said； opening his arms。 〃So e here。〃
She didn't move。
〃Judith。〃
〃I want you to go and see Celestine。 I promised her I'd find you； and you'll make a liar of me if you don't go。〃
〃All right； I'll go；〃 he said。 〃But I'm going to e back； love； you can depend on that。 Whoever she is； whatever she looks like； it's you I want。〃 He paused。 〃Now more than ever；〃 he said。
She knew he wanted her to ask him why； and for fully ten seconds she kept her silence rather than satisfy him。 But the look on his face was so brimming she couldn't keep her curiosity from putting the question on her tongue。
〃Why now？〃 she said。
〃I wasn't going to tell you yet。。。〃
〃Tell me what？〃
〃We're going to have a child； Judith。〃
She stared at him； waiting for some further explanation： that he'd found an orphan on the street or was bringing a babe from the Dominions。 But that wasn't what he meant at all； and her pounding heart knew it。 He meant a child born from the act they'd performed： a consequence。
〃It'll be my first；〃 he said。 〃Yours too； yes？〃
She wanted to call him liar。 How could he know when she didn't？ But he was quite certain of his facts。
〃He'll be a prophet；〃 he said。 〃You'll see。〃
She already had； she realized。 She'd entered its tiny life when the egg had plunged her consciousness down into her own body。 She'd seen with its stirring spirit： a jungle city； and living waters； Gentle； wounded； and ing to take the egg from tiny fingers。 Had that perhaps been the first of its prophecies？
〃We made a kind of love no other beings in this Dominion could make；〃 Gentle was saying。 〃The child came from that。〃
〃You knew what you were doing？〃
〃I had my hopes。〃
〃And didn't I get a choice in the matter？ I'm just a womb； am I？〃
〃That's not how it was。〃
〃A walking womb！〃
〃You're making it grotesque。〃
〃It is grotesque。〃
〃What are you saying？ How can anything that es from us be less than perfection？〃 He spoke with almost religious zeal。 … Tm changing； sweet。 I'm discovering what it is to love； and cherish； and plan for the future。 See how you're changing me？〃
〃From what？ From the great lover to the great father？ Another day； another Gentle？〃
He looked as though he had an answer on his tongue but bit it back。 〃We know what we mean to each other；〃 he said。 〃There should be proof of that。 Judith； please…〃 His arms were still open； but she refused to go into them。 〃When I came here I said I'd make mistakes； and I asked you to forgive me if I did。 I'm asking you again now。〃
She bowed her head and shook it。 〃Go away；〃 she said。
〃I'll see this woman if you want me to。 But before I go； I want you to swear something to me。 I want you to swear you won't try and harm what's in you。〃
〃Go to hell。〃
〃It's not for me。 It's not even for the child。 It's for you。 If you were to do any harm to yourself because of something I did； my life wouldn't be worth living。〃
〃I'm not going to slit my wrists； if that's what you think。〃
〃It's not that。〃
〃What then？〃
〃If you try to abort the child； it won't go passively。 It's got our purpose in it； it's got our strength。 It'll fight for its life； and it may take yours in the process。 Do you understand what I'm saying？〃 She shuddered。 〃Speak to me。〃
〃I've got nothing to say to you that you want to hear。 Go talk to Celestine。〃
〃Why don't you e with me？〃
〃Just。。。 go 。。。 away。〃
She looked up。 The sun had found the wall behind him and was celebrating there。 But he remained in shadow。 For all his grand purpose； he was still made to be fugitive： a liar and a fraud。
〃I want to e back；〃 he said。
She didn't answer。
〃If you're not here； I'll know what you want from me。〃
Without a further word he went to the door and let himself out。 Only as she heard the front door slam did she shake herself from her stupor and realize he'd taken the egg with him as he went。 But then like all mirror lovers he was fond of symmetry； and it probably pleased him to have that piece of her in his pocket； knowing she had a piece of him hi a deeper place still。
14
Even though Gentle had known the tribe of the South Bank only a few hours； parting from them wasn't easy。 He'd felt more secure in their pany for that short time than he'd felt with many men and women he'd known for years。 They； for their part； were used to loss…it was the theme of almost every life story he'd heard…so there were no histrionics or accusations； just a heavy silence。 Only Monday； whose victimization had first stirred the stranger from his passivity； made any attempt to have Gentle linger。
〃We've only got a few more walls to paint；〃 he said； 〃and we'll have covered them all。 A few days。 A week at the most。〃
〃I wish I had that long；〃 Gentle told him。 〃But I can't postpone the work I came back to do。〃
Monday had of course been asleep while Gentle talked with Tay （and had woken much confounded by the respect he got）； but the others； especially Benedict； had new words to add to the vocabulary of miracles。
〃So what does a Reconciler do？〃 he asked Gentle。 〃If you're goin' off to the Dominions； man； we want to be in' with you。〃
〃I'm not leaving Earth。 But if and when I do； you'll be the first to know about it。〃
〃What if we never see you again？〃 Irish said。
〃Then I'll have failed。〃
〃And you're dead and gone？〃
〃That's right。〃
〃He won't fuck up；〃 Carol said。 〃Will you； love？〃
〃But what do we do with what we know？〃 Irish said； clearly troubled by this burden of mysteries。 〃With you gone； it won't make sense to us。〃
〃Yes； it will；〃 Gentle said。 〃Because you'll be telling other people； and that way the stories will stay alive until the door to the Dominions is open。〃
〃So we should tell people？〃
〃Anyone who'll listen。〃
There were murmurs of assent from the assembly。 Here at least was a purpose； a connection with the tale they'd heard and its teller。
〃If you need us for anything；〃 Benedict purred； 〃you know where to find us。〃
〃Indeed 1 do；〃 Gentle said； and went with Clem to the gate。
〃And what if anybody es looking for you？〃 Carol called after them。
〃Tell 'em I was a mad bastard and you kicked me over the bridge。〃
This earned a few grins。
〃That's what we'll say； Maestro；〃 Irish said。 〃But I'm tellin' you； if you don't e back for us one of these days； we're goin' to e lookin' for you。〃
The farewells over； Clem and Gentle headed up onto Waterloo Bridge hi search of a cab to take them across the city to Jude's place。 It wasn't yet six； and though the flow of northbound traffic was beginning to thicken as the first muters appeared； there were no taxis to be had； so they started across the bridge on foot in the hope of finding a cab on the Strand。
〃Of all the pany to have found you in；〃 Clem remarked as they went； 〃that has to be the strangest。〃
〃You came looking for me there；〃 Gentle pointed out； 〃so you must have had some inkling。〃
〃I suppose I must。〃
〃And believe me； I've kept stranger pany。 A lot stranger。〃
〃I believe it。 I'd like you to tell me about the whole journey one day soon。 Will you do that？〃
〃I'll do my best。 But it'll be difficult without a map。 I kept telling Pie I'd draw one； so that if I ever passed through the Dominions again and got lost。。。〃
〃You'd be found。〃
〃Exactly。〃
〃And did you make a map？〃
〃No。 There was never time； somehow。 There always seemed to be something new to distract me。〃
〃Tell me as much as… Whoa！ I see a cab！〃
Clem stepped out into the street and waved the
