cb.imajica2-第89部分
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mmagi。
Though she studied the Goddess's glyph； Jude could see no hint of anything that breathed； sweated； or corrupted in it。 But there was such an emanation of tenderness from the form that； faceless as the Goddess was； it seemed to Jude she could feel Her smile； Her kiss； Her loving gaze。 And love it was。 Though this power knew her not at all； Jude felt embraced and forted as only love could embrace and fort。 There'd never been a time in her life； until now； when some part of her had not been afraid。 It was the condition of being alive that even bliss was attended by the imminence of its decease。 But here such terrors seemed absurd。 This face loved her unconditionally and would do so forever。
〃Sweet Judith；〃 she heard the Goddess say； the voice so charged； so resonant； that these few syllables were an aria。 〃Sweet Judith； what's so urgent that you risk your life to e here？〃
As Uma Umagammagi spoke； Jude saw her own face appearing in the ripples； brightening； then teased out into a thread of light that was run into the Goddess's glyph。 She's reading me； Jude thought。 She's trying to understand why I'm here； and when She does She'll take the responsibility away。 I'll be able to stay in this glorious place with Her； always。
〃So；〃 said the Goddess after a time。 〃This is a grim business。 It falls to you to choose between stopping this Reconciliation or letting it go on and risking some harm from Hapexamendios…〃
〃Yes；〃 Jude replied； grateful that she'd been relieved of the need to explain herself。 〃I don't know what the Unbeheld is planning。 Maybe nothing 。。。〃
〃。。。 and maybe the end of the Imajica。〃
〃Could He do that？〃
〃Very possibly；〃 said Uma Umagammagi。 〃He's done harm to Our temples and Our sisters many； many times； both in His own person and through His agents。 He's a soul in error； and lethal。〃
〃But would He destroy a whole Dominion？〃
〃I can no more predict Him than you can；〃 Umagammagi said。 〃But I'll mourn if the chance to plete the circle is missed。〃
〃The circle？〃 said Jude。 〃What circle？〃
〃The circle of the Imajica；〃 the Goddess replied。 〃Please understand； sister； the Dominions were never meant to be divided this way。 That was the work of the first human spirits； when they came into their terrestrial life。 Nor was there any harm in it； at the beginning。 It was their way of learning to live in a condition that intimidated them。 When they looked up； they saw stars。 When they looked down； they saw Earth。 They couldn't make their mark on what was above； but what was below could be divided and owned and fought over。 From that division； all others sprang。 They lost themselves to territories and nations； all shaped by the other sex； of course； all named by them。 They e；ven buried themselves in the Earth to have it more utterly； preferring worms to the pany of light。 They were blinded to the Imajica； and the circle was broken； and Hapexamendios； who was made by the will of these men； grew strong enough to forsake His makers and so passed from the Fifth Dominion into the First…〃
〃…murdering Goddesses as He went。〃
〃He did harm； yes； but He could have done greater harm still if He'd known the shape of the Imajica。 He could have discovered what mystery it circled and gone there instead。〃
〃What mystery's that？〃
〃You're going back into a dangerous place； sweet Judith； and the less you know the safer you'll be。 When the time es； we will unravel these mysteries together； as sisters。 Until then take fort that the error of tire Son is also the error of the Father； and in time all errors must undo themselves and pass away。〃
〃So if they'll solve themselves；〃 Jude said； 〃why do I have to go back to the Fifth？〃
Before Uma Umagammagi could resume speaking； another voice intruded。 Particles rose between Jude and the Goddess as this other woman spoke； pricking Jude's flesh where they touched； reminding her of a state that knew ice and fire。
〃Why do you trust this woman？〃 the stranger said。
〃Because she came to us openhearted； Jokalaylau；〃 the Goddess replied。
〃How openhearted is a woman who treads dry…eyed in the place where her sister died？〃 Jokalaylau said。 〃How openhearted is a woman who es into Our presence without shame； when she has the Autarch Sartori's child in her womb？〃
〃We have no place for shame here；〃 Umagammagi said。
〃You may have no place；〃 Jokalaylau said； rising into view now。 〃I have plenty。〃
Like her sister； Jokalaylau was here in Her essential form： a more plex shape than that of Uma Umagammagi； and less pleasing to the eye； because the motions that ran in it were more hectic； Her form not so much rippling as boiling； shedding its pricking darts as it did so。
〃Shame is wholly appropriate for a woman who has lain with one of Our enemies；〃 she said。
Despite the intimidation Jude felt from the Goddess； she spoke out in her own defense。
〃It's not as simple as that；〃 she said； her courage fueled by the frustration she felt； having this intruder spoil the congress between herself and Uma Umagammagi。 〃I didn't know he was the Autarch。〃
〃Who did you imagine he was？ Or didn't you care？〃
The exchange might have escalated； but that Uma Umagammagi spoke again； her tone as serene as ever。
〃Sweet Judith；〃 she said； 〃let me speak with my sister。 She's suffered at the hands of the Unbeheld more than either Tishalulle〃 or myself； and She'll not readily forgive any flesh touched by Him or His children。 Please understand Her pain； as I hope to make Her understand yours。〃
She spoke with such delicacy that Jude now felt the shame Jokalaylau had accused her of lacking： not for the child； but for her rage。
〃I'm sorry；〃 she said。 〃That was 。。。 inappropriate。〃
〃If you'll wait on the shore；〃 said Uma Umagammagi； 〃we'll speak together again in a little while。〃
From the moment that the Goddess had talked of Jude's returning to the Fifth； she'd known this parting would e。 But she hadn't prepared herself to leave the Goddess's embrace so soon； and now that she felt gravity claiming her again； it was an agony。 There was no help for it； however。 If Uma Umagammagi knew what she suffered… and how could She not？ … She did nothing to ameliorate the hurt； but folded Her glyph back into the matrix； leaving Jude to fall like a petal from a blossom tree； lightly enough； but with a sense of separation worse than any bruising。 The forms of the women she'd passed through were still unfolding and folding below； as exquisite as ever； and the water music at the door was as soothing； but they could not salve the loss。 The melody that had sounded so joyous'when she'd entered was now elegaic； like a hymn for harvest home； thankful for the gifts bestowed but touched by fears for a colder season to e。
It was waiting on the other side of the curtain； that season。 Though the children still laughed on the shore； and the basin was still a glorious spectacle of light and motion； she had gone from the presence of a loving spirit and couldn't help but mourn。 Her tears astonished the women at the threshold； and several rose to console her； but she shook her head as they approached； and they quietly parted to let her go her way alone； down to the water。 There she sat； not daring to glance back at the temple where her fate was being decided； but gazing out over the basin。
What now？ she wondered。 If she was called back into the presence of the Goddesses to be told she wasn't fit to make any decision concerning the Reconciliation； she'd be quite happy with the judgment。 She'd leave the problem in surer hands than hers and return to the corridors around the basin； where she might after a time reinvent herself and e back into this temple as a novice； ready to learn the way to fold light。 If； on the other hand； she was simply shunned； as Jokalaylau clearly wanted； if she was driven from this miraculous place back into the wilderness outside； what would she do？ Without anyone to guide her； what knowledge did she possess to help choose between the ways ahead？ None。 Her tears dried after a time； but what came in their place was worse： a sense of desolation that could only be Hell itself； or some neighboring province； divided from the main by infernal jailers； made to punish women who had loved
