jefflong.yearzero-第67部分

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her　behavior　had　everything　to　do　with　the　captivity　she　had　endured　since　birth。　People　kept　alluding　to　her　Neandertal　differences；　as　if　she　were　impaired　or　separate；　and　that　stung　Nathan　Lee。　But　the　fact　was　that　in　the　midst　of　one　of　her　fits；　Tara　was　a　dangerous　little　brute；　and　she　didn't　belong　mixing　with　other　children　in　the　city；　not　yet；　maybe　not　ever。
　And　so；　he　brought　her　to　the　horse。　He　would　have　brought　the　horse　to　her；　in　the　yard；　but　she　had　never　been　allowed　into　the　yard。　For　one　thing　it　was　occupied　by　the　other　clones　all　day；　every　day；　and　the　therapists…and　Nathan　Lee's　instincts…ruled　against　introducing　the　girl　to　the　men　from　Year　Zero。　They　might　very　well　treat　her　like　a　little　sister；　but　on　the　other　hand　they　were　walking　wounded　themselves。　At　best；　the　insertion　of　a　female　child　would　probably　have　stirred　expectations　that　their　own　womenfolk　were　about　to　arrive。　At　worst；　they　were　crucified　men。　Nathan　Lee　was　still　uncertain　about　the　extent　of　some　of　their　crimes。
　Tara's　visit　had　been　arranged　in　advance。　The　Special　Forces　camp　was　set　on　several　acres　to　the　east　of　the　abandoned　testing　facility；　and　for　today's　visit　they　had　tethered　the　appaloosa　in　the　middle　of　nowhere；　far　from　any　human　distraction。　No　one　else　was　out　there。
　Nathan　Lee　and　Tara　took　their　time　walking　out　across　the　warm　tan　soil。　She　kept　stopping；　fascinated　by　the　grasshoppers　and　ladybugs　and　rocks。　He　rubbed　sprigs　of　sagebrush　for　her　to　smell。　〃Look！〃　she　kept　saying。　He　didn't　tell　her　about　the　horse。　He　let　her　discover　the　animal　herself。
　Tara　grew　very　still　at　the　sight　of　the　appaloosa。　The　horse　was　browsing　clumps　of　dry　grass；　her　long　tail　sailing　back　and　forth。　They　had　saddled　her。　Her　mane　was　groomed。　She　was　beautiful。
　〃Should　we　go　a　little　closer？〃　Nathan　Lee　asked。
　Tara　held　his　hand。　She　was　fearful；　the　way　any　child　would　be；　all　wide　eyes　and　quiet　before　the　majesty　of　the　giant　animal。　She　clutched　her　blond　Barbie　doll　in　one　brown　fist。
　The　appaloosa　went　on　cropping　the　grass；　though　her　ears　swiveled　at　their　approach。　They　got　close。
　〃Touch　her；〃　Nathan　Lee　said；　running　his　hands　along　the　white…and…black　spotted　flanks。　Tara　laid　a　fingertip　on　the　muscled　bellows　of　a　rib　cage。　The　horse　lifted　her　head　to　see　the　small　creature；　and　Tara　shied　against　Nathan　Lee。
　〃She　wants　to　get　a　look　at　you；〃　he　said。　〃She　wants　to　smell　you。〃　The　big　nostrils　flexed　and　blew。　〃I　think　she　likes　you。〃
　Tara　was　speechless。
　〃Look；　you　have　the　same　hair；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。　He　raised　one　forearm　through　the　dirty　white　mane　and　let　the　coarse　hair　cascade　off。　Tara　worked　her　fingers　through　it；　awestruck　by　her　connection　with　the　magical　beast。
　Nathan　Lee　had　brought　a　treat　from　the　farmer's　market　in　Los　Alamos。　People　had　built　greenhouses　on　the　tops　of　apartment　buildings　and　dug　plots　in　the　parks　and　cleared　spaces　in　the　forest。　The　growing　season　had　been　unusually　long　this　year。　For　the　last　several　weeks；　you　could　trade　for　peas　in　the　pod；　green　and　red　chiles；　ears　of　yellow　and　Indian　corn；　round　cannonballs　of　cantaloupe　that　tasted　like　wet　sugar；　squash；　heads　of　lettuce；　basil；　thyme；　onions。。。and　fat　sticks　of　carrots。　〃Here。〃
　He　helped　Tara　with　the　first　carrot。　Together　they　offered　it　to　the　horse；　and　she　took　it　with　muscular　lips。　Her　big　teeth　munched　it。　She　nuzzled　for　more。　After　that　Tara　didn't　need　his　help。　Horse　and　girl；　they　had　found　each　other。
　〃Should　we　ride　her　a　little？〃
　It　was　inprehensible　to　the　child。　He　might　have　saidlet's　fly。　Nathan　Lee　got　into　the　saddle　first；　then　reached　down　for　Tara。　Not　yet　five；　and　she　must　have　weighed　sixty　pounds；　all　muscle。
　With　his　arms　around　the　child；　Nathan　Lee　nudged　the　horse　to　motion。　The　girl　was　trembling。　〃Should　we　stop？〃　he　asked。
　〃No；〃　she　whispered。
　They　took　a　slow　loop　out　to　the　mesa　rim。　On　the　way　back；　he　showed　her　how　to　hold　the　reins。　They　dismounted。　〃Would　you　like　a　little　more？〃　he　said。
　〃More；〃　she　whispered。
　He　took　the　saddle　off；　and　the　blanket。　He　lifted　Tara　onto　the　broad；　warm　back　and　walked　the　Appaloosa　for　miles。　At　the　end　of　the　day；　he　led　her　to　the　Special　Forces　camp。　〃Can　Tara　e　ride　your　horse　again？〃　he　asked　the　soldiers。
　Tara　was　breathless；　waiting　up　there。
　One　of　them　came　over　and　stroked　the　appaloosa。　〃I　think　that　would　be　a　good　idea。〃　The　soldier　pretended　to　talk　to　the　horse。　〃What　do　you　think？〃
　Tara's　eyes　widened。　The　animal　could　speak？
　Just　then　a　fly　landed　on　the　horse's　nose。　The　Appaloosa　tossed　her　head　up　and　down。　The　answer　was　plain　as　day。　The　little　girl　looked　thunderstruck。　Nathan　Lee　let　her　sit　up　there　for　a　while　longer。　That　night　he　dreamed　of　that　happy　day。
　
　26
　Wolves　and　Lambs
　
　ONEWEEKLATER
　Few　of　the　crucified　men　talked　about　the　manner　of　their　dying　or　what　came　after。　Not　unnaturally；　the　threatened　citizens　of　Los　Alamos　were　burning　to　know　about　it。　They　pestered　Nathan　Lee　on　the　streets；　by　e…mail　or　phone；　asking　him　to　ask　more　about　that　〃death　thing。〃　They　wanted　some　glimpse　of　what　it　was　like；　〃the　king　of　terrors〃　as　the　Bible　put　it；　〃a　little　sleep；　a　little　slumber；　a　little　folding　of　the　hands　for　sleep。〃　Nathan　Lee　dreaded　to　ask；　though。　He　had　passed　among　the　bones。　He　had　heard　them　whistle。
　Over　the　summer　Los　Alamos　had　largely　lost　touch　with　America。　Information　technology　had　not　decayed　limb　by　neat　regional　limb；　as　some　had　predicted。　The　crash　had　been　catastrophic。　One　day　they　had　transmissions　from　St。　George　and　Lincoln　and　Laramie；　frightened　talking　heads；　meandering　video　tours。　The　next；　their　eyes　were　blind。　The　transmissions　just　ceased。　There　were　sporadic　bursts　from　shortwave　guerrillas；　and　the　satellites　were　jam…packed　with　backdated　images　and　data　they　had　yet　to　excavate。　But　it　was　suddenly　like　nightfall　out　there；　as　if　America　had　plunged　into　the　darkness　of　Asia　and　Africa　and　Europe。　Even　so；　Nathan　Lee　clung　to　his　hope。　He　refused　to　believe　silence　meant　emptiness。　People…towns；　enclaves；　tribes…were　in　hiding；　that　was　all。　There　was　life　out　there。　And　his　daughter。　Life；　that　was　the　question　he　wanted　answers　for；　not　death。
　The　few　times　he　did　ask　about　the　clones'　deaths　and　what　lay　beyond；　the　men　would　evade　answering。　〃You　know　as　well　as　me；〃　they　would　say。　It　wasn't　that　they'd　forgotten。　Their　faces　grew　dark。　Their　eyes　smoldered。　They　remembered；　but　did　not　want　to。　With　time；　Nathan　Lee　prehended　that　hanging　from　the　cross　had　been　a　gruesome　humiliation。　No　matter　how　much　agony　they　had　endured　on　the　cross；　it　was　their　memory　of　the　shame　that　still　hurt　them　most。　Naked　and　reviled；　they　had　been　stripped　of　their　reputations；　their　names；　and　their　lands。　Their　families　had　been　damned　by　their　deaths；　and　they　knew　it。　And　so　they　glossed　over　the　dying　part。
　Nathan　Lee　was　struck　by　their　dignity。　As　their　scribe；　he　listened　to　them　dictate　letters　home　about　their　new　life；　and　they　generally　treated　their　rebirth　as　a　grand　achievement；　or　a　fresh　start；　a　new　land；　an　opportunity。　They　viewed　themselves　as　pioneers；　or　at　least　fellow　travelers。　Their　imprisonment　by　strange　demons　was　simply　part　of　the　journey。　It　wouldn't　last　forever。　They　acted　as　if　their　herds　and　orchards　and　businesses　were　still　intact　back　in　the　old　life。　Some　went　into　great　detail　about　how　they　wanted　their　wives　or　brothers　or　sons　to　attend　to　daily　affairs　in　their　absence。　〃Pay　no　more　than　three　shekels；〃　one　instructed　his　wife；　〃and　be　sure　not　to　speak　with　Elias。　I　never　trusted　his　eyes。　And　whatever　you　do；　don't　invite　him　here。〃
　All　day　long；　Nathan　Lee　sat　with　his　back　against　the　tree；　listening　to　their　stories；　taking　notes。　By　the　fifth　week；　he　could　understand　so　much　of　their　language　that　Izzy　was　freed　for　hours　at　a　stretch。　This　suited　Izzy；　who　enjoyed　slumming　among　the　clones。　The　courtyard　would　suddenly　ring　with　laughter；　and　usually　Izzy　was　at　the　center　of　it。　Later　he　would　try　to　explain　the　jokes　to　Nathan　Lee。　Often　they　had　something　to　do　with　talking　fish　or　traveling　salesmen