jefflong.yearzero-第79部分

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　During　the　first　week　Nathan　Lee's　sole　clothing　was　a　pair　of　tiny　goggles　for　the　radiation。　They　fasted　him　with　juice；　electrolytes；　and　antibiotics　for　five　days。　He　grew　weaker　before　he　could　grow　stronger。　The　second　week；　he　was　given　paper　garments；　which　were　burned　twice　daily。
　Nathan　Lee　kept　things　tight。　They　hollowed　you　out　in　this　place；　but　not　hollow　enough。　He　gave　them　his　body；　but　not　his　mind。　For　the　asking；　they　would　have　slipped　hallucinogenics　or　sedatives　into　his　IV。　Altering　reality　was　a　way　for　the　deck　sweep　troops　to　survive　their　dead　time。
　But　Nathan　Lee　feared　losing　his　tenuous　hold。　He　was　glad　there　were　no　windows　in　here；　and　that　the　walls　were　steel；　and　the　corners　were　squared　so　precisely。　Everything　was　contained　and　neat。　He　took　it　one　second　at　a　time。　He　glued　himself　to　the　moment。　He　began　to　fear　the　end　of　decon；　because　it　meant　entering　the　world　on　its　own　terms　again。
　It　went　like　that　for　two　weeks。　Their　doors　were　locked　from　the　outside；　their　bodies　were　poisoned；　and　they　were　isolated　like　serial　killers。　Over　the　ceiling　inter；　the　medical　staff　apologized　for　each　indignity　and　pain　demanded　of　him。　They　thanked　him　for　drawing　his　own　blood　and　injecting　himself　with　chemicals　and　bioengineered　poisons　which　were　passed　to　him　through　an　air　lock。　They　were　grateful　for　his　sanity；　or　at　least　his　obedience。　Through　the　walls；　he　could　hear　men　screaming；　and　understood　that　not　all　the　soldiers　had　returned　from　the　horrors　whole。
　Through　a　puter　console　built　into　the　wall；　he　had　access　to　e…books；　movies；　video　games；　even　skin　flicks。　Instead　he　did　his　Buddha　thing；　empty　mind；　empty　heart。　When　bursts　of　energy　overcame　him；　he　did　pushups。　The　rest　of　the　time；　he　lay　still。　He　felt　suspended　in　light。
　A　physician　started　up　a　running　dialog　over　the　wall　speaker。　He　knew　who　Nathan　Lee　was；　but　didn't　offer　his　name。　He　said　he　was　Nathan　Lee's　designated　psychiatrist；　though　Nathan　Lee　already　had　one　during　the　daytime。　Double…teaming　him；　Nathan　Lee　decided。　They　monitored　more　than　your　physical　health　in　here。　The　man's　voice　came　like　talk　radio；　usually　deep　in　the　night。
　He　told　Nathan　Lee　about　the　weather；　his　favorite　books；　and　other　things。　He　asked　about　Denver。　He　was　fascinated　by　the　destruction。
　〃Do　you　have　a　family？〃　asked　Nathan　Lee。
　〃Why　do　you　ask？〃
　〃You　should　take　them　far　away。　To　the　mountains　or　the　desert；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。　〃Now。〃
　〃Really？〃　the　psychiatrist　said。　〃What　about　E…Day？〃　Evacuation　Day。　It　was　everybody's　idea　of　salvation；　holing　up　in　the　salt　dome。
　〃Have　they　finally　announced　a　date？〃
　〃It　got　pushed　back；〃　said　the　psychiatrist。　〃Extenuating　circumstances。〃
　〃What　happened？〃
　〃The　excavators　hit　a　water　pocket。　It　wasn't　supposed　to　be　there。　Water　and　salt；　not　a　good　bination。　They　almost　lost　the　whole　place。〃　He　sounded　almost　upbeat。　〃As　it　is；　the　two　lowest　levels　melted　out。　They're　pumping　out　the　water；　slaving　to　save　the　rest。〃
　〃People　must　be　panicked。〃
　〃No　one　knows。〃
　〃You　do；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。
　〃Secrets　are　my　business。〃
　〃Now　what？〃
　〃We　wait；　I　suppose。　There's　always　the　Sera…III。　The　silver　bullet。〃
　Another　secret。　〃I　don't　know　what　that　is；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。
　〃Miranda　hasn't　told　you？〃
　Nathan　Lee　frowned。　Who　was　this　man？　〃What　about　Miranda？〃
　〃She's　been　at　work　on　it　for　months。　Clone　blood；　essentially。　Sera　loaded　with　antibodies。〃
　〃Miranda's　found　the　cure？〃
　〃No。　The　antibodies　only　work　for　three　years。　That's　the　three　in　Sera…III。　It's　not　really　a　silver　bullet。　More　like　slow　suicide。　You　have　to　infect　yourself　in　order　to　be　saved。　And　then　you're　not　saved　anyway。　Three　years　down　the　road；　the　Grim　Reaper　is　still　waiting。〃
　〃So　the　sanctuary　chambers　are　flooded；　and　there　is　no　cure。　You　sound　fine　with　that；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。
　〃I　wonder　about　just　desserts；　is　all；〃　the　voice　said。
　〃You　think　we　deserve　to　die？〃
　〃We　take　so　much　for　granted；〃　the　psychiatrist　answered。　〃The　question　is　do　we　deserve　to　live？〃
　Another　time；　they　talked　about　the　pilgrims。　The　little　gathering　of　locals　that　Nathan　Lee　had　seen　along　the　Rio　Grande　had　been　dispersed。　The　military　had　dropped　leaflets　warning　them　to　go　back　to　their　homes；　and　afterwards　killed　the　valley　floor　with　Agent　Orange。　〃But　they're　ing　back；〃　said　the　physician。　〃It's　different　this　time。　They're　starting　to　show　up　from　faraway。　People　are　afraid　of　them。〃
　〃Why；　are　they　dangerous？〃
　〃We　don't　know。〃
　〃Who　are　they？〃
　〃The　last　Americans。　A　lot　of　them　have　guns。〃
　〃Everyone　has　guns。〃　Nathan　Lee　had　seen　it　on　his　way　across　the　country。　It　was　little　more　than　gang　warfare　out　there。　〃They'll　use　them　on　each　other。　They're　fragmented。〃
　〃Not　anymore。〃
　〃Why's　that？〃
　〃Have　you　ever　looked　up　the　word　'apocalypse'？〃　the　physician　riffed。　〃So　many　people　think　it's　just　another　way　of　saying　total　destruction。〃
　Nathan　Lee　let　him　ramble。
　〃In　fact　there's　a　whole　philosophy　behind　it；　the　idea　of　a　chosen　people　having　special　knowledge　and　being　spared　the　cosmic　end。　The　righteous　will　live　happily　ever　after　here　on　earth。〃
　〃Yes；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。　〃The　kingdom　movement。〃　Where　was　the　man　going　with　this？
　〃It's　very　appealing。　Very　American。　Egalitarian。　Inclusive。　Revolutionary。　Just　the　sort　of　thing　to　bring　the　ragtag　barbarians　together。〃
　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃
　〃This　Jesus　thing　of　yours。〃
　Nathan　Lee　sat　up。　His　scalp　prickled。　Suddenly　he　realized　these　midnight　visits　had　not　been　random。　The　physician　had　been　insinuating　himself　into　Nathan　Lee's　head。　He　was　here　for　a　reason。　〃Of　mine？〃
　〃Please；〃　said　the　physician。　〃You　unleashed　it。　Without　him；　they'd　still　just　be　scattered　across　the　wilds。　Now　they've　found　a　center。〃
　〃Do　you　mean　the　clone？〃　That　was　still　going　on？
　〃Yes。〃
　〃But　he's　not　Jesus　Christ。〃
　〃He　is　now。〃
　〃That's　crazy。　He's　a　counterfeit。〃
　〃Tell　him　that。〃
　〃I　did。　I　tried。〃　What　had　been　going　on　in　his　absence？
　〃I　thought　you　might　try　to　disown　him。〃
　〃He's　not　mine；〃　said　Nathan　Lee。
　〃But　you　helped　create　him。　The　clones　were　speechless　animals；　at　least　most　of　them；〃　said　the　physician。　〃You　gave　them　a　voice。　You　built　them　a　stage。　I　never　imagined　anyone　would　go　so　far　for　them。〃
　〃They're　harmless。　The　messiah　is　somebody's　idea　of　a　practical　joke。〃
　〃The　city　was　so　safe；　just　one　more　spot　on　the　map；〃　said　the　physician。　〃Everything　was　fine。　But　now　the　mob　is　ing。〃　And　yet　he　didn't　sound　resentful。
　〃The　soldiers　will　protect　us。〃　Nathan　Lee　felt　trapped。　He　was　at　the　man's　mercy；　locked　in　here。　What　did　he　want　with　him？
　〃What　if　it's　too　late？〃　The　question　was　rhetorical；　not　bitter。
　〃Who　are　you？〃　Nathan　Lee　demanded。
　〃I　just　wanted　to　say　thank　you；　Nathan　Lee。〃
　〃For　what？〃
　〃For　doing　your　part。〃
　〃My　part　of　what？〃
　〃As　you　put　it；　the　joke；〃　said　the　voice。
　The　voice　departed。　Nathan　Lee　called　to　the　ceiling　speaker　for　the　man　to　e　back；　but　there　was　only　silence。　He　hammered　at　his　door；　and　the　staff　ignored　him。
　Next　morning；　when　a　nurse　spoke　to　him　over　the　inter；　Nathan　Lee　demanded　to　know　who　the　physician　was　that　had　been　talking　to　him　each　night。　She　checked　their　records；　and　there　was　no　such　physician；　no　nighttime　psychiatrists；　no　midnight　calls。　By　her　tone　of　voice；　Nathan　Lee　could　tell　she　thought　he　was　imagining　things。　A　lot　of　their　patients　did　that。
　　
　ON　THE　EVEof　his　release；　Miranda　was　allowed　to　place　a　call。　You　were　supposed　to　be　inmunicado　in　here。　The　stated　reason　was　that　decon　was　a　period　of　debriefing。　Contact　with　family　and　friends　might　contaminate　your　information。　In　fact；　Nathan　Lee　suspected；　the　authorities　feared　letting　people　see　their　loved　ones　so　raw　and　wild。　Tucked　away　in　decon；　the　psychiatrists　had　time　to　tame　you。
　Nathan　Lee's　puter　screen　flickered　to　life　and　Miranda's　face　appeared　on　the　wall。　The　camera　softened　her　cheeks。　She　looked　different；　even　healthy。　He　couldn't　put　his　finger　on　it。
　〃Your　two　weeks　are　almost　up；〃　she　announced　brightly。
　He　sat　up；　dull　and　heavy。　His