jefflong.yearzero-第91部分

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ct　himself　with　the　Sera…III。　Both　would　have　given　him　degrees　of　protection　from　the　virus；　but　both　would　have　killed　him　sooner　or　later。　Plainly　the　pilgrims　shot　the　suits　on　sight。　As　for　the　Sera…III；　it　might　have　given　him　a　three…year　window；　but　he　couldn't　be　sure　he'd　survive　the　next　few　minutes；　much　less　years。　More　to　the　point；　he　couldn't　afford　the　forty…eight　hours　it　would　have　taken　for　his　immune　system　to　ramp　up　the　antibodies。　Besides；　his　courage　would　never　have　held　so　long。　Forty…eight　hours　is　a　long　time　to　hold　the　razor　above　your　own　wrist。
　The　suit　and　the　Sera…III　were　false　choices　anyway。　With　or　without　them；　he　was　entering　the　land　of　the　dead。　That　had　been　the　real　choice；　to　stay　in　safety　or　descend　into　the　valley；　and　even　there　the　choice　was　nil。　Because　to　stay　meant　praying　for　Ochs；　or　the　generals；　to　show　mercy；　and　mercy　was　no　longer　an　operative　term。　It　wasn't　that　they　were　inherently　evil　men。　Of　late；　Nathan　Lee　had　given　up　on　monsters。　He'd　never　believed　in　God。　Now；　far　worse；　he　didn't　believe　in　Satan。　The　devil　made　a　fine　scapegoat；　but　the　Great　Deceiver　was　a　deception；　just　one　more　try　at　stuffing　the　universe　into　a　shoe　box。　Human　scale　might　be　good　for　measuring　doorways；　but　it　was　useless　for　answering　misery。　In　the　end；　mankind's　downfall　wasn't　manmade；　nor　written　in　heaven　or　cooked　up　in　hell；　just　a　crooked　bit　of　protein。
　And　so　he　approached　the　pilgrim　camp　with　no　defenses；　no　explanations；　no　ticket　home；　only　a　headful　of　voices。　He　was　terrified。　And　lonely。　Even　in　the　middle　of　Tibet　he'd　never　felt　so　single…handed　and　alone。　Nathan　Lee　knew　what　he　had　to　do；　but　didn't　know　why。　He　was　making　it　up　as　he　went　along；　writing　himself　into…or　out　of…his　own　movie。　As　he　rode　toward　the　bridge；　it　felt　like　he　was　plunging　into　a　dark　shaft。　Winging　it。。。on　broken　wings。
　The　Appaloosa　carried　him　a　hundred　yards　more；　shying；　then　obeying。　Her　eyes　rolled　at　the　smell　of　meat　rotting。　He　could　have　forced　her　on。　He　craved　the　strength　of　her　big　muscles　and　the　warmth　ing　up　from　her　body。　Nathan　Lee　was　unsure　his　own　legs　would　carry　him。
　But　she　was　so　beautiful。　He　ran　his　eyes　along　her　perfect　neck；　the　columns　of　muscle；　the　rippling　shoulders。　He　sighted　down　between　her　ears　twitching　at　the　distance。　She　dreamed　dreams　in　that　great　skull。
　At　last　he　pulled　the　reins　and　stopped　her。Enough。　They　would　hang　her　meat　above　their　fires；　and　that　was　pointless。　Their　hunger　was　greater　than　the　flesh　she　had　to　offer。　Nathan　Lee　dismounted　slowly；　in　plain　sight　and　with　broad　motions。　He　gave　the　shooters　his　back　as　he　went　about　stripping　the　mare　of　tack。　He　dumped　the　saddle　and　bridle　in　a　heap　by　the　road。　On　second　thought　he　kept　the　saddle　blanket　for　himself。
　Then　he　pointed　one　hand　up　the　highway　toward　Los　Alamos；　not　for　the　horse's　sake；　but　so　that　the　snipers　could　understand　his　intentions　exactly；　and　stepped　away。　He　stood　on　the　white　and　yellow　center　stripes　with　his　hands　empty；　watching　while　the　Appaloosa　turned　and　briskly　trotted　back　through　the　graveyard　of　vehicles。
　She　didn't　tarry。　There　was　no　forage；　not　with　winter　nearly　on　and　the　land　poisoned。　She　didn't　gallop；　and　he　was　glad　for　that；　too。　He　didn't　want　the　snipers　to　feel　rushed　to　judgment。　This　way　they　would　have　time　to　make　up　their　minds　to　spare　her。
　Her　hooves　clapped　on　the　asphalt。　She　faded　through　the　smog；　a　dappled　ghost。　He　remembered　his　boat　on　the　Alaska　shore；　how　it　had　drifted　off　into　the　ocean　mist　the　moment　he　looked　away。　Necessary　risks。　The　horse　turned　a　bend　and　then　she　was　gone。
　He　rolled　the　saddle　blanket；　faced　the　river　again；　and　started　walking。　The　stripes　stretched　like　miles。　He　kept　his　head　up；　trying　to　force　aside　the　image　of　his　face　in　their　crosshairs。　No　one　called　halt　as　he　started　over　the　bridge。　Wild；　gaunt　figures　waited　at　the　far　end；　glowering；　brandishing　guns；　long　spears；　axes　for　firewood；　bows　with　razor…bladed　hunting　arrows；　even　long…handled　framing　hammers。　Some　wore　motorcycle；　bicycle；　or　football　helmets。　Some　wore　gas　masks。　It　didn't　seem　possible　a　man；　even　a　mad　prophet；　could　mand　such　rabble。
　The　quixotic　creatures　stood　there；　heads　up；　facing　west；　aimed　at　Los　Alamos。　It　was　a　curious　scene。　They　were　all　ready　for　battle。。。without　an　enemy　in　sight。　Running　north　to　south；　the　invasion　was　poised。　Only　the　river　gave　them　any　shape。
　It　wasn't　much　of　a　bridge；　he　remembered　now。　Over　the　weeks；　it　had　loomed　larger　and　larger　in　the　minds　of　Los　Alamos；　a　span　between　one　world　and　another。　But　it　was　just　a　short；　flat　stretch。
　〃No　gifts？〃　someone　taunted。　〃No　big　promises？〃
　Nathan　Lee　tried　to　look　steady。　His　heart　was　racing。　His　mouth　was　dry。
　〃What's　here？〃　one　of　the　scarred　apparitions　demanded。
　Nathan　Lee　gave　up　the　horse　blanket　without　a　protest。
　Someone　shoved　him　from　behind。　They　didn't　ask　his　name。　It　was　as　void　to　them　as　his　purpose；　which　no　one　asked　either。　They　were　incurious。　He　had　no　answers　for　them；　none　that　mattered。　He'd　thought　they　might　ask　about　Los　Alamos；　its　defenses；　its　riches；　its　fears。　But　in　their　minds；　they　owned　it　already。
　One　of　the　soldiers　came　forward　with　a　big　smile。　〃Where's　our　manners？〃　He　spoke　broadly。　〃Man　es　off　his　mountain；　all　shaved　and　neat。　Bold　as　day。　Down　to　heal　the　little　people；　am　I　right？〃
　It　was　a　gallows　smile。　He　was　out　for　sport。　Nathan　Lee　waited。　The　man　spit　in　his　face。
　It　was　only　the　start；　Nathan　Lee　knew。　He　wiped　the　warm　gob　from　his　cheek；　looked　at　it　on　his　fingers；　then　back　at　the　soldier。　He　could　cringe　or　strike　back；　and　what　was　going　to　e　next　would　unfold　with　the　same　deadly　violence。　Their　fists　were　scarred；　their　faces　bruised。　They　had　mauled　each　other　bloody　waiting　for　someone　like　him。　Once　his　beating　began；　they　wouldn't　be　able　to　stop　themselves。　He　heard　the　water；　and　an　image　flashed　of　his　body　floating　downriver　into　the　logjam　of　bodies。
　For　a　moment　there　seemed　nothing　to　do　about　it。　Then　it　came　to　him　that　for　all　their　rifles　and　malice；　these　same　men　had　not　shot　the　Appaloosa。　They　still　had　some　spark　of　poetry　in　them。
　The　soldier's　false　smile　widened。　They　circled　him。　Hard　laughter　all　around。　Then　Nathan　Lee　surprised　them。　He　surprised　himself。　Without　another　thought；　he　swiped　the　spit　across　his　tongue。　He　took　the　contagion。
　The　soldiers　blinked。　They　fell　silent。　Before　their　eyes；　Nathan　Lee　had　just　damned　himself。　He'd　bee　one　of　them。
　After　a　minute；　the　first　man　stepped　away。　They　let　him　pass。　And　no　one　found　his　knife。
　　
　THECAPTAIN'S　VOICEwoke　her。　〃Are　you　watching？〃　he　said。
　Miranda　clutched　the　phone　to　one　ear。　She　pawed　the　sleep　away　from　her　face。　〃Watching？〃　She　staggered　up　from　the　mattress　on　her　office　floor。
　〃You're　not　watching？〃
　〃I　must　have　drifted　off；〃　she　mumbled　in　excuse。Watching　what？
　〃He　made　it　across。〃
　〃Excellent。〃　The　clock　read　nine。Morning　or　night？　Burning　the　candle　at　both　ends；　the　poor　little　nubbin。
　〃There　started　to　be　some　trouble。　I　don't　know　what　he　said　to　them。　But　they　let　him　in。　We　saw　that　much　through　the　remote　cameras。〃
　Suddenly　it　seemed　like　winter　in　the　room。
　〃Nathan　Lee？〃　she　whispered。
　The　Captain　was　silent　a　minute。　〃He　didn't　tell　you？〃
　Then　she　saw　it　on　her　desk。　He'd　left　his　book　of　fairy　tales。
　　
　NATHANLEE　ENTEREDthe　great　throat　of　the　siege；　their　massed　voices；　their　savage　faith。　He'd　thought　his　journeys　had　made　him　ready　for　this。　But　for　all　its　horrors；　the　wastelands　of　Asia　had　at　least　been　still。　Here　the　dead　moved　around。　They　spoke。　They　sang　and　chanted。　They　rocked　in　place；　brawled；　crawled；　wept；　praised　God。　Sitting　on　muddy　lumps　of　carcasses；　they　murmured　names　over　and　over。　He　was　reminded　of　the　Year　Zero　clones　in　their　cells；　anonymous　except　for　the　names　and　tales　they　kept　whispering　to　themselves。
　The　virus　manifested　everywhere；　in　the　glassed　flesh；　in　the　vacant　eyes。　Lovers　had　tethered　themselves　together　to　take　turns　caring　for　each　other　as　consciousness　ebbed　and　flowed　between　them。　Parents　ro