tw.togreenangeltower2-第177部分
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During all of today's rites for the fallen； she had not once met his eyes。 Even their friendship seemed to have faded。
It would serve her right if I let them force me to take the throne。 He turned away to stare at the flames； feeling low and mean…spirited。 But it is hers by right。 She was Prester John's granddaughter。 What difference did it make that some ancestor of Simon's had been king two centuries ago？
〃I killed him； Simon；〃 she said abruptly。 〃I traveled all that way to speak to him； to try to let him know I understood 。。。 but instead I killed him。〃 There was devastation in her words。 〃Killed him！〃
Simon searched frantically for something to say。 〃You saved us all； Miriamele。〃
〃He was a good man； Simon。 Loud and short…tempered； perhaps； but he was 。 。 。 before my mother 。 ； ；〃 She blinked her eyes rapidly。 〃My own father！〃
〃You had no other choice。〃 Simon ached to see her in such pain。 'There was nothing else you could have done； Miri。 You saved us。〃
〃He knew me at the end。 May God help me； Simon； I think he wanted me to do it。 I looked at him 。。。 and he was so unhappy。 He was in so much pain！〃 She rubbed at her face with her cloak。 〃I will not cry；〃 she said harshly。 〃I am so weary of crying！〃
The wind grew stronger； sighing through the grass。
〃And sweet Uncle Josua！〃 she said； more quietly now； but with a core of urgency。 〃Gone； like everyone else。 Gone。 All my family gone。 And poor； tormented Camaris。 Ah； God。 What kind of a world is this？〃 Her shoulders were heaving。 Simon reached out and awkwardly took her hand。 She did not try to pull away； as he felt sure she would。 Instead； they sat in silence except for the crackling of the fire。 〃And C…Cadrach； too；〃 she murmured at last。 〃Oh； Merciful Elysia； in some ways he is the worst。 He wanted only to die； but he waited for me 。。。 for us。 He stayed； despite all that had happened； despite all the terrible things I said to him。〃 She lowered her head； staring at the ground。 Her voice was painfully raw。 〃In his way； he loved me。 That was cruel of him； wasn't it？〃
Simon shook his head。 There was nothing to say。 She suddenly turned to him； eyes wide。 〃Let's go away！ We can take the horses and be half a dozen leagues from here by morning。 I don't want to be a queen！〃 She squeezed his hand。 〃Oh； please don't leave me！〃
〃Go away？ Where？ And why would I leave you？〃 Simon felt his heart speed。 It was hard to think； hard to believe he had truly understood her。 〃Miriamele； what are you talking about？〃
〃Curse you； Simon！ Are you really as foolish as people used to think you were？〃 She now grasped his hand in both of hers； tears gleamed on her cheeks。 〃I don't care if you were a kitchen boy。 I don't care that your father was a fisherman。 I only want you； Simon。 Oh； do you think I'm an idiot？ I am an idiot； I suppose。〃 Her laugh had a touch of wildness to it。 She let go of his hand for a moment to wipe at her eyes again。 〃I've been brooding about this ever since the tower fell。 I can't stand it！ Uncle Isgrimnur and the others； they're going to make me take the throne； I know they will。 And I'll go back to being the old Miriamele again； except this time it will be a thousand； thousand times worse！ It will be a prison。 And then I'll have to marry some other Fengbald…just because he's dead doesn't mean there aren't a hundred more just like him…and I'll never have another adventure； or be free； or do what I want to 。。。 and you'll go away； Simon！ I'll lose you！ The only one I really care about。〃
He stood； then pulled her up from the stone so he could put his arms around her。 They were both shaking； and for a little time all he could do was grapple her to him and hang on； as though the wind might sweep her away。
〃I've loved you so long； Miriamele。〃 He could not keep his voice steady。
〃You frighten me。 You don't know how you frighten me。〃 Her voice was muffled against his chest。 〃I don't know what you see when you look at me。 But please don't go away；〃 she said urgently。 〃Whatever happens； don't go away。〃
〃I won't。〃 He leaned back so he could see her。 Her eyes were bright； fresh tears trembling on the lower lashes。 His own eyes were blurring as well。 He laughed； his voice cracked。 〃I won't leave you。 I promised I wouldn't； don't you remember？〃
〃Sir Seoman。 My Simon。 You are my love；〃 She sucked in her breath。 〃How did it happen？〃
He leaned forward； pressing his mouth against hers； and as they clung to each other the starry sky seemed to spin around the place where they stood。 Simon's hands moved beneath her cloak and he ran his lingers down the long muscles of her back。 Miriameie shuddered and pulled him closer； rubbing her damp face against his neck。
Feeling the length of her pressed against him filled Simon with a kind of drunken； joyous madness。 With his arms still locked around her； he took a few staggering steps toward the tent。 He tasted the salt of her tears and covered her eyes and cheeks and lips with kisses as her hair swirled around him and stuck to his damp face。
Inside the tent； hidden from the prying stars； they wrapped themselves tightly around each other； clutching； drowning together。 The wind plucked at the tent cloth； the only sound beside the rustle of clothes and the urgent hiss of their breathing。
For a moment the wind tugged the tent door open。 In the thin starlight； her skin was pale as ivory； so smooth and warm beneath his fingers that he could not imagine ever wanting to touch anything else。 His hand slid across the curve of her breast and ran down her hip。 He felt something catch inside him； something almost like terror； but sweet； so sweet。 She held his face between her hands and drank his breath； murmuring wordlessly all the while； gasping quietly as his mouth moved down her neck and onto the delicate arch of her collarbone。
He pulled her closer； wanting to devour her； wanting to be devoured。 His eyes overspitled with tears。
〃I've loved you so long；〃 he whispered。
Simon awakened slowly。 He felt heavy； his body warm and boneless。 Miriamele's head nestled in the hollow of his shoulder； her hair pressed softly against his cheek and neck。 Her slender limbs were wrapped around him； one arm splayed across his chest； the fingers tickling beneath his chin。
He pulled her nearer。 She murmured sleepily and rubbed her head against him。
The tent flap rustled。 A silhouette； a slightly darker spot against the night sky； appeared in the gap。
〃Simon？〃 someone whispered。
Heart pounding； suddenly ashamed for the princess； Simon tried to sit up。 Miriamele made an unhappy sound as he slid her arm lower。
〃Binabik？〃 he asked。 〃Is that you？〃
The dark shape pushed in； letting the flap fall shut behind。
〃Quiet。 I am about to light a candle。 Say nothing。〃
There was a muted clinking as flint met steel； then a tiny glow sprang up in the grass near the tent door。 A moment later a flame bobbed at the end of a wick and soft candlelight filled the tent。 Miriamele made a groggy noise of protest and buried her face deeper in Simon's neck。 He gaped in astonishment。
Josua's thin face hovered above the candle。
〃The grave cannot hold me；〃 said the prince； smiling。
34
Leavetaking
Simon's heart thumped。
〃Prince Josua。。。 ？〃
〃Quietly； lad。〃 Josua leaned forward。 His eyes widened for a moment as he saw the head pillowed on Simon's chest； but then his smile returned。 〃Ah。 Bless you both。 Make her marry you； Simon…not that it will take much coaxing； I think。 She will make a splendid queen with you to help her。〃
Simon shook his head in amazement。 〃But 。。。 but you 。。。 surely 。。。〃 He stopped and took a breath。 〃You're dead…or everyone thinks you are！〃
Josua seated himself； holding the candle low so that the gleam was mostly shielded by his body。 〃I should be。〃
〃Tiamak saw your neck broken！〃 Simon whispered。 〃And no one could have gotten out of that place after we did。〃
〃Tiamak saw me struck；〃 Josua corrected him。 〃My neck should indeed have been broken…as it is； it still hurts fiercely。 But I had my hand up。〃 He extended his left arm and the tattered sleeve pulled
