tw.togreenangeltower2-第76部分
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bout old Rachel。
These thoughts made her frown deepen。 Just as such things might happen to her； so might they have happened to Guthwulf。 He might be only a few furlongs away； lying injured。 The thought of someone needing her care when she could not give it was like an itch inside of her； a hot frustration。 Once she had been the mistress of all the castle servants； a queen of sorts； now she could not even do what was necessary for one poor sightless madman。
Rachel shouldered her bag and stumped back up the stairs； heading toward her hidden sanctuary。 When she had pulled aside the tapestry and pushed the door inward on its well…oiled hinges； she lit one of her lanterns and looked around。 In a way； it was almost restful living in such a solitary fashion： the place was so small it was easy to keep clean； and since only she came there； she knew that everything was done in just the right way。
Rachel set the lamp on the stool she used as a table and pulled her chair next to it； wincing。 The damp was in her bones tonight； and her extremities ached。 She did not feel much like sewing； but there was little else to do； and it was still at least an hour before the time she would go to bed。 Rachel was determined not to lose her routine。 She had always been one to wake up just moments before the horn blare of the night sentries giving over duty to the ing watch； but these days only her morning trip upstairs to get water from the room with an outside window helped her retain a connection with the world beyond。 She did not want anything to strain the tenuous contact with her old life； so she would sew for at least an hour before she allowed herself to lie down； no matter how her fingers cramped。
She took out her knife and cut the apple into small sections。 She ate it carefully； but when she was finished her teeth and gums hurt； so she dipped the heel of bread into her water cup to soften before she ate it。 Rachel grimaced。 Everything hurt tonight。 There was a storm ing； that seemed sure…her bones told her。 It didn't seem fair。 There had only been a few days in the past week when she had actually been able to see sunlight out of the window upstairs； and now even that was to be snatched away。
Rachel found her needlework hard going。 Her mind kept flittering away； something that normally would not have affected her stitchery at all； but which tonight was causing her to stop for long moments between every few movements of the needle。
What would things have been like if Pryrates hadn 't e？ she wondered。
Elias might not have been a wonderful king like his sainted father； but he was strong and shrewd and capable。 Perhaps he would have outgrown his churlishness and his bad panions； the castle would have remained in her control； the long tables snowy with their spotless cloths； the flagstones swept and mopped to a high gleam。 The chambermaids would be working industriously…under Rachel's stern gaze； everyone worked industriously。 Well； almost everyone 。。。
Yes； Simon。 If the red priest hadn't e to blight their lives； Simon would still be here。 Perhaps he would have found some work to suit him by now。 He would be bigger…oh； they grew so quickly at that age…maybe even with a man's beard； although it was hard to imagine anything manly about young Simon。 He would e by sometimes to visit her at the end of the day； maybe even share a cup of cider and a little talk。 She would keep a careful eye that he wasn't getting too big for his breeches； that he wasn't making a fool of himself over the wrong sort of girls…it wouldn't do to let that boy get too far out of hand。。。。
Something wet fell onto her hand。 Rachel started。
Crying？ Crying； you old fool？ After that mooncalf bay？ She shook herself angrily。 Well； he's in better hands than yours now； and tears won't bring him back。
Still； it would have been nice to see him grown； a man； but still grinning that same impudent grin。。。。
Rachel put down her needlework in disgust。 If she was not going to get any sewing done； it was a waste of time to pretend。 She would find something else to do； instead of just sitting in her chair moping and dreaming like some ancient crone beside the fireplace。 She wasn't dead yet。 There was still work for her to do。
Someone did need her。 Pacing slowly back and forth in the tiny chamber； ignoring the dull throb of her joints； Rachel decided that she would indeed go and look for Earl Guthwulf。 She would be careful； and she would keep as safe as she could； but it was her Aedonite duty to find out whether the poor man was hurt somewhere； or sick。
Rachel the Dragon began making plans。
A great curtain of rain swept across the lich…yard； bending the knee…high grass and splattering on the old tumbled stones。
〃Did you find anything？〃 Miriamele called。
〃Nothing that is pleasant。〃 She could barely hear the troll for the hissing of the rain。 She bent closer to the crypt door。 〃I am finding no tunnel；〃 he elaborated。
〃Then e out。 I'm soaking wet。〃 She pulled her cloak tight and looked up。
Beyond the lich…yard； the Hayholt loomed； its spires dark and secretive against the muddy gray sky。 She saw light glimmering in the red windows of Hjeldin's Tower and crouched lower in the grass； like a rabbit covered by the shadow of a hawk。 The castle seemed to be waiting； quiet and almost lifeless。 There were no soldiers on the battlements； no pennants fluttering atop the roofs。 Only Green Angel Tower with its sweep of pure white stone seemed somehow alive。 She thought of the days she had hidden there； spying on Simon as he daydreamed through idle afternoons in the bell chamber。 As constricting and smothering as the Hayholt had seemed to her then； it had been a paratively cheerful place。 The castle that stood before her now waited like some ancient hard…shelled creature； like an old spider brooding at the center of its web。
Can I actually go there？ she wondered。 Maybe Binabik is right。 Maybe I am being stubborn and headstrong to think I can do anything at all。
But the troll might be wrong。 Could she afford to gamble？ And more importantly； could she walk away from her father； knowing that the two of them might never again meet on this earth？
〃You were speaking the truth。〃 Binabik slipped out through the crypt door； shielding his eyes with his hand。 〃The rain is falling down very strongly。〃
〃Let's go back to where we left the horses；〃 Miriamele said。 〃We can shelter there。 So you found nothing？〃
〃Another place with no tunnels。〃 The troll wiped mud from his hands onto his skin breeches。 〃But there were quite a few dead people； none of them good to be spending time with。〃
Miriamele made a face； 〃But I'm sure that Simon came up here。 It has to be one of these。〃
Binabik shrugged and set out toward the clutch of wind…rattled elms along the lich…yard's south wall。 As he walked； he pulled up his hood。 〃Either you are remembering it with some slight wrongness； or the tunnel is hidden in a way I cannot discover。 But I have scrabbled in all the walls； and been lifting all the stones 。。。〃
〃I'm certain it's not you；〃 she said。 A flare of lightning lit the sky； the thunder followed a few moments later。 Suddenly an image of Simon struggling in the dark earth appeared before her mind's eyes。 He was gone； lost forever； despite all the brave things she and the troll had said。 She gasped and stumbled。 Tears coursed down her rain…wet cheeks。 She stopped； sobbing so hard she could not see。
Binabik's small hand closed about hers。 〃I am here with you。〃 His own voice trembled。
They stood together in the rain for a long time。 At last Miriamele grew calmer。 〃I'm sorry； Binabik。 I don't know what to do。 We have spent the whole day searching and it hasn't done us any good。〃 She swallowed and wiped water from her face。 She could not speak of Simon。 〃Perhaps we should give up。 You were right： I could never walk up to that gate。〃
〃Let us make ourselves dry； first。〃 The little man tugged her forward； hurrying them toward shelter。 〃Then we will talk over what are the things we should do。〃
〃We have looked； Miri
