annr.pandora-第13部分

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　The　old　man　stepped　up　to　me。　He　told　me　that　his　name　was　David。
　The　old　man　apologized　profusely　that　there　were　no　female　attendants　for　me。　I　was　the　only　woman　on　board。
　〃Oh；　please；　banish　any　such　thoughts　from　your　mind！　Why　have　you　taken　these　risks？〃
　〃For　years　we　have　done　business　with　your　Father；〃　said　David。　〃Years　ago；　when　pirates　sank　our　ships；　your　Father　carried　the　debt。　He　trusted　us　again；　and　we　repaid　him　fivefold。　He　has　laid　up　riches　for　you。　They　are　all　stowed；　among　cargo　we　carried；　as　if　they　were　nothing。〃
　I　went　into　the　cabin　and　collapsed　on　the　small　bed。　The　old　man；　averting　his　eyes；　brought　a　cover　for　me。
　Slowly　I　realized　something。　I　had　fully　expected　them　to　betray　me。
　I　had　no　words。　I　had　no　gestures　or　sentiments　inside　me。　I　turned　my　head　to　the　wall。　〃Sleep；　lady；〃　he　said。
　A　nightmare　came　to　me；　a　dream　such　as　I　have　never　had　in　my　life。　I　was　near　a　river。　I　wanted　to　drink　blood。　I　waited　in　high　grass　to　catch　one　of　the　villagers；　and　when　I　had　this　poor　man；　I　took　him　by　his　shoulders；　and　I　sank　two　fang　teeth　into　his　neck。　My　mouth　filled　with　delicious　blood。　It　was　too　sweet　and　too　potent　to　be　described；　and　even　in　the　dream　I　knew　it。　But　I　had　to　move　on。　The　man　was　nearly　dead。　I　let　him　fall。　Others　who　were　more　dangerous　were　after　me。　And　there　was　another　terrible　threat　to　my　life。
　I　came　to　the　ruins　of　a　Temple；　far　from　the　marsh。　Here　it　was　desert　…　just　with　the　snap　of　the　fingers；　from　wetland　to　sand。　I　was　afraid。　Morning　was　ing。　I　had　to　hide。　Besides；　I　was　also　being　hunted。　I　digested　this　delicious　blood；　and　I　entered　the　Temple。　No　place　to　hide！　I　lay　my　whole　body　on　the　cold　walls！　They　were　graven　with　pictures。　But　there　was　no　small　room；　no　hiding　place　for　me。
　I　had　to　make　it　to　the　hills　before　sunrise；　but　that　wasn't　possible。　I　was　moving　right　towards　the　sun！
　Suddenly；　there　came　above　the　hills　a　great　fatal　light。　My　eyes　hurt　unbearably。　They　were　on　fire。　〃My　eyes；〃　I　cried　and　reached　to　cover　them。　Fire　covered　me。　I　screamed。　〃Amon　Ra；　I　curse　you！〃　I　cried　another　name。　I　knew　it　meant　Isis；　but　it　was　not　that　name；　it　was　another　title　for　her　that　flew　from　my　lips。
　I　woke　up。　I　sat　bolt　upright；　shivering。
　The　dream　had　been　as　sharply　defined　as　a　vision。　It　had　a　deep　resonance　in　me　of　memory。　Had　I　lived　before？
　I　went　out　on　the　deck　of　the　ship。　All　was　well　enough。　We　could　see　the　coastline　dearly　still；　and　the　lighthouses；　and　the　ship　moved　on。　I　stared　at　the　sea；　and　I　wanted　blood。
　〃This　is　not　possible。　This　is　some　evil　omen；　some　twisted　grief；〃　I　said。　I　felt　the　fire。　I　could　not　shut　out　the　taste　of　the　blood；　how　natural　it　had　seemed；　how　good；　how　perfect　for　my　thirst。　I　saw　the　twisted　body　of　the　villager　again　in　the　marshes。
　This　was　a　horror；　it　was　no　escape　from　what　I　had　just　witnessed。　I　was　incensed；　and　feverish。
　Jacob；　the　tall　young　one；　came　to　me。　He　had　with　him　a　young　Roman。　The　young　man　had　shaved　his　first　beard；　but　otherwise　he　seemed　a　flushed　and　glistening　child。
　I　wondered　wearily　if　I　were　so　old　at　thirty…five　that　everyone　young　looked　beautiful　to　me。
　He　cried；　〃My　family；　too；　has　been　betrayed。　My　Mother　made　me　leave！〃
　〃To　whom　do　we　owe　this　shared　catastrophe'？〃　I　asked。　I　put　my　hands　on　his　wet　cheeks。　He　had　a　baby's　mouth；　but　the　shaven　beard　was　rough。　He　had　broad　strong　shoulders；　and　wore　only　a　light；　simple　tunic。　Why　wasn't　he　cold　out　here　on　the　water？　Perhaps　he　was。
　He　shook　his　head。　He　was　pretty　still　and　would　be　handsome　later。　He　had　a　nice　curl　to　his　dark　hair。　He　didn't　fear　his　tears；　or　apologize　for　them。
　〃My　Mother　stayed　alive　to　tell　me。　She　lay　gasping　until　I　came。　When　the　Delatores　had　told　my　Father　that　he　plotted　against　the　Emperor；　my　Father　had　laughed。　He　had　actually　laughed。　They　had　accused　him　of　plotting　with　Germanicus！　My　Mother　wouldn't　die　until　she'd　told　me。　She　said　that　all　my　Father　was　accused　of　doing　was　talking　with　other　men　about　how　he　would　serve　under　Germanicus　again　if　they　were　sent　North。〃
　I　nodded　wearily。　〃I　see。　My　brothers　probably　said　the　same　thing。　And　Germanicus　is　the　Emperor's　heir　and　Imperium　Maius　of　the　East。　Yet　this　is　treason；　to　speak　of　serving　Rome　under　a　pretty　general。〃
　I　turned　to　go。　To　understand　gave　no　consolation。
　〃We　are　taking　you　to　different　cities；〃　said　Jacob；　〃to　different　friends。　Better　that　we　not　say。〃
　〃Don't　leave　me；〃　said　the　boy。　〃Not　tonight。〃
　〃All　right；〃　I　said。　I　took　him　into　the　cabin　and　closed　the　door；　with　a　polite　nod　to　Jacob；　who　was　watching　all　with　a　guardian's　conscience。
　〃What　do　you　want？〃　I　asked。
　The　boy　stared　at　me。　He　shook　his　head。　He　flung　his　hands　out。　He　turned　and　drew　dose　to　me　and　kissed　me。　We　went　into　a　rampage　of　kisses。
　I　took　off　my　shift　and　sank　into　the　bed　with　him。　He　was　a　man　all　right；　tender　face　or　no。
　And　when　I　came　to　the　moment　of　ecstasy；　which　was　quite　easy；　given　his　phenomenal　stamina；　I　tasted　blood。　I　was　the　blood　drinker　in　the　dream。　I　went　limp；　but　it　didn't　matter。　He　had　all　he　needed　to　finish　the　rites　to　his　satisfaction。
　He　rose　up。　〃You're　a　goddess；〃　he　said。
　〃No；〃　I　whispered。　The　dream　was　rising。　I　heard　the　wind　on　the　sand。　I　smelled　the　river。　〃I　am　a　god。。。　a　god　who　drinks　blood。〃
　We　did　the　rites　of　love　until　we　could　do　them　no　more。
　〃Be　circumspect　and　very　proper　with　our　Hebrew　hosts；〃　I　said。　〃They　will　never　understand　this　sort　of　thing。〃
　He　nodded。　〃I　adore　you。〃
　〃Not　necessary。　What　is　your　name'？〃
　〃Marcellus。〃
　〃Fine；　Marcellus；　go　to　sleep。〃
　Marcellus　and　I　made　a　night　of　every　night　after　that　until　we　finally　saw　the　famous　lighthouse　of　Pharos　and　knew　we　had　e　to　Egypt。
　It　was　perfectly　obvious　that　Marcellus　was　being　left　in　Alexandria。　He　explained　to　me　that　his　maternal　grandmother　was　still　alive；　a　Greek；　and　indeed　her　whole　dan。
　〃Don't　tell　me　so　much；　just　go；〃　I　said。　〃And　be　wise　and　safe。〃
　He　begged　me　to　e　with　him。　He　said　he　had　fallen　in　love　with　me。　He　would　marry　me。　He　didn't　care　if　I　bore　no　children。　He　didn't　care　that　I　was　thirty…five。　I　laughed　softly；　mercifully。
　Jacob　noted　all　this　with　lowered　eyes。　And　David　looked　away。
　Quite　a　few　trunks　followed　Marcellus　into　Alexandria。
　〃Now；〃　I　said　to　Jacob；　〃will　you　tell　me　where　I'm　being　taken？　I　might　have　some　thoughts　on　the　matter；　though　I　doubt　I　could　improve　on　my　Father's　plan。〃
　I　still　wondered。　Would　they　deal　honestly　with　me？　What　about　now　that　they　had　seen　me　play　the　whore　with　the　boy？　They　were　such　religious　men。
　〃You're　headed　to　a　great　city；〃　Jacob　said。　〃It　couldn't　be　a　better　place。　Your　Father　has　Greek　friends　there！〃
　〃How　could　it　be　better　than　Alexandria？〃　I　said。
　〃Oh；　it　is　far　and　away　better；〃　Jacob　said。　〃Let　me　talk　to　my　Father　before　I　talk　to　you　further。〃
　We　had　put　out　to　sea。　The　land　was　going　away。　Egypt。　It　was　growing　dark。
　〃Don't　be　afraid；〃　Jacob　said。　〃You　look　as　though　you　are　terrified。〃
　〃I'm　not　afraid；〃　I　said。　〃It's　only　that　I　have　to　lie　in　my　bed　and　think　and　remember　and　dream。〃　I　looked　at　him；　as　he　shyly　looked　away。　〃I　held　the　boy　like　a　Mother；　against　me；　night　after　night。〃
　This　was　about　the　biggest　lie　I've　told　in　my　life。
　〃He　was　a　child　in　my　arms。〃　Some　child！　〃And　now　I　fear　nightmares。　You　must　tell　me　…　what　is　our　destination？　What　is　our　fate？〃
　
　
　
　
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　〃Antioch；〃　said　Jacob；　〃Antioch　on　the　Orontes。　Greek　friends　of　your　Father　await　you。　And　they　are　friends　with　Germanicus。　Perhaps　in　time　。。。　but　they　will　be　loyal　to　you。　You　are　to　be　married　to　a　Greek　of　breeding　and　means。〃
　Married！　To　a　Greek；　a　provincial　Greek？　A　Greek　in　Asia！　I　stifled　my　laughter　and　my　tears。　That　was　not　going　to　happen　to　me。　Poor　man！　If　he　really　was　a　provincial　Greek；　he　was　going　to　have　to　experience　the　conquest　of　Rome　all　over　again。
　We　sailed　on；　from　port　to　port。　I　mulled　all　this　over。
　It　was　nauseating　trivia　like　this　which　of　course　protected　me　from　my　full　and　inevitable　grief　and　shock　over　wh