annr.pandora-第47部分

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　〃I　wanted　to　kill　him　then；　but　the　wiser　course　seemed　to　stay　right　with　you；　to　enter　the　Temple　and　stay　by　your　side。　I　was　not　certain　of　my　right　to　kill　your　brother　for　you；　that　it　was　what　you　wanted。　I　didn't　know　that　until　I'd　told　you　of　his　guilt。　Then　I　knew　how　much　you　wanted　it　done。
　〃Of　course　I　had　no　idea　how　clever　you　had　bee；　that　all　the　talent　for　reason　and　words　I'd　loved　in　you　when　you　were　a　girl　was　still　there。　Suddenly　you　were　in　the　Temple；　thinking　three　times　faster　than　the　other　mortals　present；　weighing　every　aspect　of　what　faced　you；　outwitting　everyone。　And　then　came　the　spectacular　confrontation　with　your　brother　in　which　you　caught　him　in　the　most　clever　net　of　truths；　and　thereby　dispatched　him；　without　ever　touching　him；　but　instead　drawing　three　military　witnesses　into　plicity　with　his　death。〃
　He　broke　off；　then　said；　〃In　Rome；　years　ago；　I　followed　you。　You　were　sixteen。　I　remember　your　first　marriage。　Your　Father　took　me　aside；　he　was　so　gentle。　'Marius；　you're　destined　to　be　a　roaming　historian；'　he　said。　I　didn't　dare　tell　him　my　true　estimation　of　your　husband。
　〃And　now　you　e　to　Antioch；　and　I　think；　in　my　self…centered　manner；　as　you　will　promptly　note　…　if　ever　a　woman　was　created　for　me；　it　is　this　woman。　And　I　know　as　soon　as　I　leave　you　in　the　morning；　that　I　must　somehow　get　the　Mother　and　Father　out　of　Antioch；　get　them　away；　but　then　this　blood　drinker　has　to　be　destroyed；　and　then　and　only　then　can　you　be　safely　left。〃
　〃Safely　abandoned；〃　I　said。
　〃Do　you　blame　me？〃　he　asked。
　The　question　caught　me　off　guard。　I　looked　at　him　for　a　seemingly　endless　moment；　allowing　his　beauty　to　fill　my　eyes；　and　sensing　with　intolerable　keenness　his　sadness　and　desperation。　Oh；　how　he　needed　me！　How　desperately　he　needed　not　just　any　mortal　soul　in　which　to　confide；　but　me。
　〃You　really　did　want　to　protect　me；　didn't　you？〃　I　asked。　〃And　your　explanation　of　all　points　is　so　pletely　rational；　it　has　the　elegance　of　mathematics。　There　is　no　need　for　reincarnation；　or　destiny；　or　any　miraculous　allowance　for　any　part　of　what's　happened。〃
　〃It's　what　I　believe；〃　he　said　sharply。　His　face　grew　blank；　then　stern。　〃I　would　never　give　you　anything　short　of　truth。　Are　you　a　woman　who　wants　to　be　humored？〃
　〃Don't　be　fanatical　in　your　dedication　to　reason；〃　I　said。
　These　words　both　shocked　and　offended　him。
　〃Don't　cling　to　reason　so　desperately　in　a　world　of　so　many　horrid　contradictions！〃
　He　was　silenced。
　〃If　you　so　cling　to　reason；〃　I　said；　〃then　in　the　passage　of　time　reason　may　fail　you；　and　when　it　does　you　may　find　yourself　taking　refuge　in　madness。〃
　〃What　on　Earth　do　you　mean？〃
　〃You've　made　of　reason　and　logic　religion。　It's　obviously　the　only　way　you　can　endure　what's　happened　to　you；　that　you're　a　blood　drinker　and　custodian；　apparently；　of　these　displaced　and　forgotten　deities。〃
　〃They　aren't　deities！〃　He　grew　angry。　〃Thousands　of　years　ago；　they　were　made；　through　some　mingling　of　spirit　and　flesh　that　rendered　them　immortal。　They　find　their　refuge　obviously　in　oblivion。　In　your　kindness　you　characterize　it　as　a　garden　from　which　the　Mother　gathered　flowers　and　leaves　to　make　a　garland　for　you；　a　trap；　as　you　said。　But　this　is　your　sweet　girlish　poetry。　We　do　not　know　that　they　string　very　many　words　together。〃
　〃I　am　no　sweet　girl；〃　I　said。　〃Poetry　belongs　to　everyone。　Speak　to　me！〃　I　said。　〃And　put　aside　these　words；　'girl'　and　'woman。'　Don't　be　so　frightened　of　me。〃
　〃I　am　not；〃　he　said　angrily。
　〃You　are！　Even　as　this　new　blood　races　through　me　still；　eats　at　me　and　transforms　me；　I　cling　to　neither　reason　nor　superstition　for　my　safety。　I　can　walk　through　a　myth　and　out　of　it！　You　fear　me；　because　you　don't　know　what　I　am。　I　look　like　a　woman；　I　sound　like　a　man；　and　your　reason　tells　you　the　sum　total　is　impossible！〃
　He　rose　from　the　table。　His　face　took　on　a　sheen　like　sweat　but　far　more　radiant。
　〃Let　me　tell　you　what　happened　to　me！〃　he　said　resolutely。
　〃Good；　do　tell　me；〃　I　said。　〃In　straightforward　manner。〃
　He　let　this　go　by。　I　spoke　against　my　heart。　I　wanted　only　to　love　him。　I　knew　his　cautions。　But　for　all　his　wisdom；　he　displayed　an　enormous　will；　a　man's　will；　and　I　had　to　know　the　source　of　it。　I　concealed　my　love。
　〃How　did　they　lure　you？〃
　〃They　didn't；〃　he　said　calmly。　〃I　was　captured　by　the　Keltoi　in　Gaul；　in　the　city　of　Massilia。　I　was　brought　North；　my　hair　allowed　to　grow　long；　then　shut　up　amid　barbarians　in　a　great　hollow　tree　in　Gaul。　A　burnt　blood　drinker　made　me　into　a　'new　god'　and　told　me　to　escape　the　local　Priests；　go　South　to　Egypt　and　find　out　why　all　the　blood　drinkers　had　been　burnt；　the　young　ones　dying；　the　old　one　suffering。　I　went　for　my　own　reasons！　I　wanted　to　know　what　I　was！〃
　〃I　can　well　understand；〃　I　said。
　〃But　not　before　I　saw　blood　worship　at　its　most　grisly　and　unspeakable　…　I　was　the　god；　mind　you；　Marius；　who　followed　you　adoringly　all　over　Rome　…　and　it　was　to　me　that　these　men　were　offered。〃
　〃I've　read　it　in　Caesar's　history。〃
　〃You've　read　it　but　you　haven't　seen　it。　How　dare　you　throw　at　me　such　a　trivial　boast！〃
　〃Forgive　me；　I　forgot　your　childish　temper。〃
　He　sighed。　〃Forgive　me；　I　forgot　your　practical　and　naturally　impatient　intellect。〃
　〃I'm　sorry。　I　regret　my　words。　I　had　to　'witness　executions　of　Rome。　It　was　my　duty。　And　that　was　in　the　name　of　law。　Who　suffers　more　or　less'？　Victims　of　sacrifice　or　the　law？〃
　'Very　well。　I　escaped　these　Keltoi　and　went　to　Egypt；　and　there　I　found　the　Elder；　who　was　the　keeper　of　the　Mother　and　the　Father；　the　Queen　and　the　King；　the　first　blood　drinkers　of　all　time；　from　which　this　enhancement　of　our　blood　flows。　This　Elder　told　me　stories　that　were　vague　but　pelling。　The　Royal　Pair　had　once　been　human；　no　more。　A　spirit　or　demon　had　possessed　one　or　both；　lodging　itself　so　firmly　that　no　exorcism　could　oust　it。　The　Royal　Pair　could　transform　others　by　giving　the　blood。　They　sought　to　make　a　religion。　It　was　overthrown。　Again　and　again　it　was　overthrown。　Anyone　who　possesses　the　blood　can　make　another！　Of　course　this　Elder　claimed　ignorance　of　why　so　many　had　been　burnt。　But　it　was　he　who　had　dragged　his　sacred　and　royal　charges　into　the　sun　after　centuries　of　meaningless　guardianship！　Egypt　was　dead；　he　said　to　me。　'The　granary　of　Rome；'　he　called　it。　He　said　the　Royal　Pair　had　not　moved　in　a　millennium。〃
　This　filled　me　with　the　most　remarkable　and　poetic　sense　of　horror。
　〃Well；　one　day's　hot　light　was　not　enough　anymore　to　destroy　the　ancient　parents；　but　all　over　the　world　the　children　swered。　And　this　cowardly　Elder；　given　only　pain　for　his　reward；　a　burned　skin；　lost　the　courage　required　to　continue　the　exposure　of　the　Royal　Pair。　He　had　no　cause；　one　or　another。
　〃Akasha　spoke　to　me。　She　spoke　as　best　she　could。　In　images；　pictures　of　what　had　happened　since　the　beginning；　how　this　tribe　of　gods　and　goddesses　had　sprung　from　her；　and　rebellions　had　occurred；　and　how　much　history　was　lost；　and　purpose　was　lost；　and　when　it　came　to　the　forming　of　words；　Akasha　could　make　but　only　a　few　silent　sentences：　'Marius；　take　us　out　of　Egypt！　'　〃　He　paused。　〃　'Take　us　out　of　Egypt；　Marius。　The　Elder　means　to　destroy　us。　Guard　us　or　we　perish　here。'　'*
　He　took　a　breath；　he　was　calmer　now；　not　so　angry；　but　very　much　shattered；　and　in　my　ever　increasing　vampiric　vision；　I　knew　more　about　him；　how　very　courageous　he　was；　how　very　determined　to　hold　to　principles　in　which　he　believed；　in　spite　of　the　magic　that　had　swallowed　him　whole　before　he　had　had　time　even　to　question　it。　His　was　an　attempt　at　a　noble　life；　in　spite　of　all。
　〃My　fate；〃　he　said；　〃was　directly　connected　to　hers；　to　them！　If　I　left　them；　the　Elder　would　sooner　or　later　put　them　in　the　sun　again；　and　I；　lacking　the　blood　of　centuries；　would　burn　up　like　wax！　My　life；　already　altered；　would　have　been　ended。　But　the　Elder　did　not　ask　me　to　install　a　new　priesthood。　Akasha　did　not　ask　me　to　install　a　new　religion！　She　did　not　speak　of　altars　or　worship。　Only　the　old　burntout　god　in　the　Northern　grove　among　the　barbarians　had　asked　me　to　do　such　a　thing　when　he　sent　me　to　the　South；　to　Egypt；　the　motherland　of　all　mysteries。〃
　〃How　lo