annr.pandora-第6部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　I　went　on　with　a　wholly　unfamiliar　energy。
　〃A　lively　fashionable　modern　cult　of　angels；　devotion　thriving　everywhere。　And　people　rising　from　operating　tables　to　speak　of　life　after　death；　a　tunnel；　an　embracing　love！　Oh；　you　have　been　created　perhaps　in　an　auspicious　time！　I　don't　know　what　to　make　of　it。〃
　You　were　obviously　quite　impressed　by　these　words；　or　rather　the　way　that　my　perspective　had　been　drawn　from　me。　So　was　I。
　〃I've　only　started；〃　you　said；　〃and　will　keep　pany　alike　with　brilliant　Children　of　the　Millennia　and　street…corner　fortune　tellers　who　deal　out　the　cards　of　the　Tarot。　I'm　eager　to　gaze　into　crystal　balls　and　darkened　mirrors。　I'll　search　now　among　those　whom　others　dismiss　as　mad；　or　among　us　…　among　those　like　you；　who　have　looked　on　something　that　they　do　not　believe　they　should　share！　That's　it；　isn't　it？　But　I　ask　you　to　share　it。　I'm　finished　with　the　ordinary　human　soul。　I　am　finished　with　science　and　psychology；　with　microscopes　and　perhaps　even　with　the　telescopes　aimed　at　the　stars。〃
　I　was　quite　enthralled。　How　strongly　you　meant　it。　I　could　feel　my　face　so　warm　with　feeling　for　you　as　I　looked　at　you。　I　think　my　mouth　was　slack　with　wonder。
　〃I　am　a　miracle　unto　myself；〃　you　said。　〃I　am　immortal；　and　I　want　to　learn　about　us！　You　have　a　tale　to　tell；　you　are　ancient；　and　deeply　broken。　I　feel　love　for　you　and　cherish　that　it　is　what　it　is　and　nothing　more。〃
　〃What　a　strange　thing　to　say！〃
　〃Love。〃　You　shrugged　your　shoulders。　You　looked　up　and　then　back　at　me　for　emphasis。　〃And　it　rained　and　it　rained　for　millions　of　years；　and　the　volcanoes　boiled　and　the　oceans　cooled；　and　then　there　was　love？〃　You　shrugged　to　make　a　mock　of　the　absurdity。
　I　couldn't　help　but　laugh　at　your　little　gest。　Too　perfect；　I　thought。　But　I　was　suddenly　so　torn。
　〃This　is　very　unexpected；〃　I　said。　〃Because　if　I　do　have　a　story；　a　very　small　story　…〃
　〃Yes？〃
　〃Well；　my　story　…　if　I　have　one　…　is　very　much　to　the　point。　It's　linked　to　the　very　points　you've　made。〃
　Suddenly　something　came　over　me。　I　laughed　again　softly。
　〃I　understand　you。〃　I　said。　〃Oh；　not　that　you　can　see　spirits；　for　that　is　a　great　subject　unto　itself。
　〃But　I　see　now　the　source　of　your　strength。　You　have　lived　an　entire　human　life。　Unlike　Marius；　unlike　me；　you　weren't　taken　in　your　prime。　You　were　taken　near　the　moment　of　your　natural　death；　and　you　will　not　settle　for　the　adventures　and　faults　of　the　earthbound！　You　are　determined　to　forge　ahead　with　the　courage　of　one　who　has　died　of　old　age　and　then　finds　himself　risen　from　the　grave。　You've　kicked　aside　the　funeral　wreaths。　You　are　ready　for　Mount　Olympus；　aren't　you？〃
　〃Or　for　Osiris　in　the　depths　of　the　darkness；〃　you　said。　〃Or　for　the　shades　in　Hades。　Certainly　I　am　ready　for　the　spirits；　for　the　vampires；　for　those　who　see　the　future　and　claim　to　know　past　lives；　for　you　who　have　a　stunning　intellect　encased　beautifully；　to　endure　for　so　many　years；　an　intellect　which　has　perhaps　all　but　destroyed　your　heart。〃
　I　gasped。
　〃Forgive　me。　That　was　not　proper　of　me；〃　you　said。
　〃No；　explain　your　meaning。〃
　〃You　always　take　the　hearts　from　the　victims；　isn't　it　so？　You　want　the　heart。〃
　〃Perhaps。　Don't　expect　wisdom　from　me　as　it　might　e　from　Marius；　or　the　ancient　twins。〃
　〃You　draw　me　to　you；〃　you　said。
　〃Why　？〃
　〃Because　you　do　have　a　story　inside　you；　it　lies　articulate　and　waiting　to　be　written　…　behind　your　silence　and　your　suffering。〃
　〃You　are　too　romantic；　friend；〃　I　said。
　You　waited　patiently。　I　think　you　could　feel　the　tumult　in　me；　the　shivering　of　my　soul　in　the　face　of　so　much　new　emotion。
　〃It's　such　a　small　story；〃　I　said。　I　saw　images；　memories；　moments；　the　stuff　that　can　incite　souls　to　action　and　creation。　I　saw　the　very　faintest　possibility　of　faith。
　I　think　you　already　knew　the　answer。
　You　knew　what　I　would　do　when　I　did　not。
　You　smiled　discreetly；　but　you　were　eager　and　waiting。
　I　looked　at　you　and　thought　of　trying　to　write　it；　write　it　all　out。。。
　〃You　want　me　to　leave　now；　don't　you'？〃　you　said。　You　rose；　collected　your　rain…spattered　coat　and　bent　over　gracefully　to　kiss　my　hand。
　My　hands　were　clutching　the　notebooks。
　〃No；〃　I　said；　〃I　can't　do　it。〃
　You　made　no　immediate　judgment。
　〃e　back　in　two　nights；〃　I　said。　〃I　promise　you　will　have　your　two　notebooks　for　you；　even　if　they　are　pletely　empty　or　only　contain　a　better　explanation　of　why　I　can't　retrieve　my　lost　life。　I　won't　disappoint　you。　But　expect　nothing；　except　that　I　will　e　and　I　will　put　these　books　in　your　hands。〃
　〃Two　nights；〃　you　said；　〃and　we　meet　here　again。〃
　In　silence　I　watched　you　leave　the　cafe。
　And　now　you　see　it　has　begun；　David。
　And　now　you　see；　David；　l　have　made　our　meeting　the　introduction　to　the　story　you　asked　me　to　tell。
　
　
　2
　
　PANDORA'S　STORY
　
　I　was　born　in　Rome；　during　the　reign　of　Augustus　Caesar；　in　the　year　that　you　now　reckon　to　have　been　15　B。C。；　or　fifteen　years　〃before　Christ。〃
　All　the　Roman　history　and　Roman　names　I　give　here　are　accurate；　I　have　not　falsified　them　or　made　up　stories　or　created　false　political　events。　Everything　bears　upon　my　ultimate　fate　and　the　fate　of　Marius。　Nothing　is　included　for　love　of　the　past。　I　have　omitted　my　family　name。　I　did　this　because　my　family　has　a　history；　and　I　cannot　bring　myself　to　connect　their　ancient　reputations；　deeds；　epitaphs　to　this　tale。　Also　Marius；　when　he　confided　in　Lestat；　did　not　give　the　full　name　of　his　Roman　family。　And　I　respect　this　and　that　also　is　not　revealed。
　Augustus　had　been　Emperor　for　over　ten　years；　and　it　was　a　marvelous　time　to　be　an　educated　woman　in　Rome；　women　had　immense　freedom；　and　I　had　a　rich　Senator　for　a　father；　five　prosperous　brothers；　and　grew　up　Motherless　but　cherished　by　teams　of　Greek　tutors　and　nurses　who　gave　me　everything　I　wanted。
　Now；　if　I　really　wanted　to　make　this　difficult　for　you；　David；　I'd　write　it　in　classical　Latin。　But　I　won't。　And　I　must　tell　you　that；　unlike　you；　I　came　by　my　education　in　English　haphazardly；　and　certainly　I　never　learnt　it　from　Shakespeare's　plays。
　Indeed　I　have　passed　through　many　stages　of　the　English　language　in　my　wanderings　and　in　my　reading；　but　the　great　majority　of　my　true　acquaintance　with　it　has　been　in　this　century；　and　I　am　writing　for　you　in　colloquial　English。
　There's　another　reason　For　this；　which　I'm　sure　you'll　understand　if　you've　read　the　modern　translation　of　Petronius's　Satyricon　or　Juvenal's　satires。　Very　modern　English　is　a　really　true　equivalent　to　the　Latin　of　my　time。
　The　formal　letters　of　Imperial　Rome　won't　tell　you　this。　But　the　graffiti　scratched　on　the　walls　of　Pompeii　will　make　it　obvious。　We　had　a　sophisticated　tongue；　countless　clever　verbal　shortcuts　and　mon　expressions。
　I'm　going　to　write；　therefore；　in　the　English　which　feels　equivalent　and　natural　to　me。
　Let　me　say　here　quickly　…　while　the　action　is　at　a　halt　…　that　I　was　never；　as　Marius　said；　a　Greek　Courtesan。　I　was　living　with　such　a　pretense　when　Marius　gave　me　the　Dark　Gift；　and　perhaps　out　of　consideration　for　old　mortal　secrets　he　so　described　me。　Or　maybe　it　was　contemptuous　of　him　to　style　me　this　way。　I　don't　know。
　But　Marius　knew　all　about　my　Roman　family；　that　it　was　a　Senatorial　family；　as　purely　aristocratic　and　privileged　as　his　own　mortal　family；　and　that　my　people　dated　back　to　the　time　of　Romulus　and　Remus；　the　same　as　Marius's　mortal　line。　Marius　did　not　succumb　to　me　because　I　had　〃beautiful　arms；〃　as　he　indicated　to　Lestat。　This　trivialization　was　perhaps　provocative。
　I　don't　hold　anything　against　either　of　them；　Marius　or　Lestat。　I　don't　know　who　got　what　wrong。
　My　feeling　for　my　Father　is　so　great　to　this　very　night；　as　I　sit　in　the　cafe；　writing　for　you；　David；　that　I　am　astonished　at　the　power　of　writing　…　of　putting　words　to　paper　and　bringing　back　so　vividly　to　myself　my　Father's　loving　face。
　My　Father　was　to　meet　a　terrible　end。　He　did　not　deserve　what　happened　to　him。　But　some　of　our　kinsmen　survived　and　re…established　our　family　in　later　times。
　My　Father　was　rich；　one　of　the　true　millionaires　of　that　age；　and　his　capital　was　invested　widely。　He　was　a　soldier　more　often　than　required　of　him；　a　Sena