pdouglas.thecodex-第52部分
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Vernon hesitated。 〃Yes。〃
Tom made a helpless gesture with his hand。 〃Do you think we'll be able to forgive him？〃
〃Does it matter？〃
Tom woke up before dawn with a strange feeling of pressure at the base of his skull。 It was still dark； and it was raining。 The sound of the rain seemed to be crawling inside his head。 He turned； turned again on the damp ground； and the pressure became a headache。 He swung his feet around and sat up； only to find； with huge surprise； that he could barely keep himself upright。 He sank back； his head reeling； staring up into the darkness； which seemed to fill with confused swirls of red and brown and the whispering of voices。 He heard the soft； worried chatter of Bugger's voice near him。 He looked around and finally； in the darkness； located the little monkey sitting on the ground near him； making anxious sucking noises。 He knew something was wrong。
It was more than just the effects of hunger。 Tom realized he was sick。 Oh God； he thought； not now。 He turned his head and tried to seek out Sally or Vernon in the swirling darkness； but he could see nothing。 His nose seemed to be filled with the cloying smell of rotting vegetation； rain； and loam。 The sound of the rain drumming on the forest leaves all around him was drilling into his skull。 He felt himself drift off to sleep； and then he opened his eyes and there was Sally； peering at him with a flashlight in the dark。
〃I'm going fishing today；〃 Tom said。
〃You're not going anywhere；〃 she answered。 She reached down and felt his forehead； and she was not able to hide from him the look of fright on her face。 〃I'll bring you some tea。〃
She came back with a steaming mug and helped Tom drink it down。 〃You sleep；〃 she said。
Tom slept。
When he woke； it was brighter but still raining。 Sally was crouching over him。 When she saw his eyes open； she tried to smile。
Despite the suffocating heat under the log； he shivered。 〃Philip？〃 he managed to ask。
〃The same。〃
〃Vernon？〃
〃He's sick； too。〃
〃Damn。〃 He looked at Sally and felt alarmed。 〃And you？ How are you？〃 Her face looked flushed。 〃You're not getting sick； too？〃
Sally laid a hand on his cheek。 〃Yes； I'm getting sick； too。〃
〃I'll get better；〃 Tom said。 〃And then I'll take care of you。 We'll get out of this mess。〃
She shook her head。 〃No； Tom； we won't。〃
The simple assertion of fact seemed to clear his throbbing head。 He closed his eyes。 That was it； then。 They were going to die in the rain under that rotten log； and the wild animals would tear them apart。 And no one would ever know what had happened to them。 He tried to say this was the fever talking to him； that actually things weren't that bad； but deep down he knew it was true。 His head swirled。 They were going to die。 He opened his eyes。
She was still there； her hand on his cheek。 She looked at him for a long time。 Her face was dirty； scratched； bitten； her hair tangled and dull； her eyes hollow。 If there was any resemblance to the girl who had galloped after him bareback in Utah； it was gone…except the intense turquoise color of her eyes and the way her lower lip still stuck out a little。
Finally she spoke。 〃We don't have much time。〃 She paused； looking at him steadily。 〃I need to tell you something； Tom。〃
〃What？〃
〃It seems I've fallen in love with you。〃
Reality returned with sudden clarity。 Tom couldn't quite speak。
She went on briskly。 〃Anyway； there…now it's said。〃
〃But what about…？〃
〃Julian？ He's the perfect dream guy； handsome； brilliant； with all the right opinions。 He's the guy your parents want you to marry。 He's my Sarah。 Who wants that？ The feeling I had for him isn't at all like what I feel for you； with all your 。。。〃 She hesitated and smiled。 〃Imperfections？〃
With those words all plications had been swept away； and now everything was clear and simple。 He tried to speak； finally managed to croak out the words。 〃I love you； too。〃
She smiled； and a little glimmer of her former radiance came through。 〃I know that and I'm glad。 I'm sorry I was cranky with you。 I was in denial。〃
They were silent for a moment。
〃I guess I loved you from the moment you stole my horse and came riding after me back there in Utah；〃 said Tom。 〃But I really knew it when you wouldn't shoot that jaguar。 I'll always love you for that。〃
〃When you brought me outside to look at that glowing forest；〃 Sally said； 〃that's when〃 I realized that I was falling in love with you。〃
〃You never said anything。〃
〃It took me a while to work it out。 As you may have noticed； I'm stubborn。 I didn't want to admit I was wrong。〃
He swallowed。 His head was beginning to spin。 〃But I'm just a normal guy。 I didn't go to Stanford at sixteen…〃
〃Normal？ A man who fights in hand…to…hand bat with jaguars and anacondas？ Who leads an expedition into the heart of darkness with courage and good humor？〃
〃I only did those things because I was forced to。〃
〃That's another one of your good points： You're modest。 Being with you； I began to see what kind of a person Julian is。 He didn't want to e with me because he figured it would be inconvenient。 It would interrupt his work。 And I think； underneath it all； he was afraid。 Julian； I realized； is the kind of person who doesn't attempt anything unless he's absolutely sure he's going to succeed。 You； on the other hand； would attempt the impossible。〃
His head began to swim again。 He struggled to hold it still。 He loved what he was hearing。
She smiled sadly and laid her head on his chest。 〃I'm sorry we've both run out of time。〃
He put his hand on her hair。 〃This is a hell of a place to fall in love。〃
〃You're not kidding。〃
〃Maybe in another life 。。。〃 Tom struggled to maintain his hold on reality。 〃We'll have another chance； somehow 。。。 somewhere 。。。〃 His mind began to whirl。 What was he trying to say？ He closed his eyes； trying to steady the vertigo； but that only made it worse。 He tried opening his eyes； but there was nothing but a swirl of green and brown； and he wondered briefly if it all hadn't just been a dream； all of it； his father's cancer； the journey； the jungle； Sally； his dying brother。 Yes； in fact it had been a dream； he realized； long and strange； and he was going to wake up in his own bed； a little boy again； his father shouting upstairs； 〃Good morning； good morning； another day is dorning！〃
Thinking this； he drifted into oblivion； happy。
46
Marcus Hauser sat on a campstool in the doorway of the ruined temple； taking in the morning。 A toucan screeched and hopped around in a nearby tree； waggling its enormous beak。 It was a glorious day； the sky a limpid blue； the jungle a hushed green。 It was cooler and drier up in these mountains； and the air seemed fresher。 The perfume of an unknown flower drifted past。 Hauser felt a semblance of peace returning。 It had been a long night； and he felt drained； empty； and disappointed。
He heard footsteps rustling the fallen leaves。 One of the soldiers brought him his breakfast…bacon； eggs； coffee； fried plantain…on an enamel plate with a sprig of some herb garnishing the side。 He took the dish on his knees。 The garnish irritated him； so he flicked it off； then picked up his fork and began to eat； his mind on the events of the previous night。 It had been time to force the issue with the chief or fail。 Not ten minutes into it he knew the old chief wouldn't crack； but he went through the motions anyway。 It was like watching a pornographic film…unable to turn it off； yet in the end cursing the waste of time and energy。 He had tried。 He had done his best。 Now he had to think of another solution to his problem。
Two soldiers appeared in the doorway； the body slung between them。 〃What should we do with it； jeje？〃
Hauser pointed with his fork； his mouth full of eggs。 〃Into the gorge。〃
They went out； and he finished his breakfast。 The White City was a big； overgrown place。 Max could be buried almost anywhere。 Problem was； the village was so stirred up that there wasn't much chance of taking another hostage and trying to squeeze the location of the tomb out of him。 On the other hand； he didn't relish poking around these rat…infested ruins for the next two weeks himself。
He broke off； felt i
