rasalvatore.attackoftheclones-第38部分

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g　water。　When　she　turned　back；　Anakin　was　already　standing　by　the　table；　looking　over　the　bowl　of　fruit　and　the　settings　Padme　had　put　out。　She　watched　him　glance　up　at　one　of　the　floating　light　globes；　its　glow　growing　as　the　sunlight　began　to　diminish　outside。　He　playfully　poked　at　it；　seemingly　oblivious　that　she；　or　anyone　else；　was　watching　him；　and　his　smile　nearly　reached　his　ears　as　the　globe　bounced　away　from　his　touch；　elongating　the　soft　sphere　of　light。
　
　The　next　few　moments　of　just　watching　Anakin　were　quite　pleasant　for　Padme；　but　the　next　few　after　that；　when　he　started　looking　back　at　her；　his　expression　alternately　playful　and　intense；　proved　more　than　a　bit　unfortable。
　
　Soon　enough；　though；　the　pair　had　settled　in　at　the　table；　seated　across　from　each　other。　Two　of　the　resort　waitresses；　Nandi　and　Teckla；　served　them　their　meal；　while　Anakin　began　recounting　some　of　the　adventures　he　had　known　over　the　last　ten　years；　training　and　flying　with　Obi…Wan。
　
　Padme　listened　attentively；　captivated　by　Anakin's　flair　for　storytelling。　She　wanted　to　do　more；　though。　She　wanted　to　talk　about　what　had　happened　out　at　the　meadow；　to　try　to　make　some　sense　of　it　with　Anakin；　to　share　with　him　the　solution　as　they　had　shared　the　out…of…bounds　emotions　and　moments。　But　she　could　not　begin；　and　so　she　just　allowed　him　to　ramble　on；　contenting　herself　with　enjoying　his　tales。
　
　Dessert　was　Padme's　favorite；　yellow…and…cream…colored　shuura　fruit；　juicy　and　sweet。　She　grinned　as　Nandi　put　a　bowl　before　her。
　〃And　when　I　went　to　them；　we　went　into。。。〃　Anakin　paused；　drawing　Padme's　full　attention；　a　wry　smile　on　his　face。　〃Aggressive　negotiations；〃　he　finished；　and　then　he　thanked　Teckla　as　she　placed　some　dessert　fruit　before　him。
　〃Aggressive　negotiations？　What's　that？〃
　〃Uh；　well；　negotiations　with　a　lightsaber；〃　the　Padawan　said；　still　grinning　wryly。
　〃Oh；〃　Padme　said　with　a　laugh；　and　she　eagerly　went　for　her　dessert；　stabbing　with　her　fork。
　
　The　shuura　moved　and　her　fork　hit　the　plate。　A　bit　confused；　Padme　stabbed　at　it　again。
　
　It　moved。
　
　She　looked　up　at　Anakin；　a　bit　confused　and　embarrassed；　but　then　she　saw　that　he　was　fighting　hard　not　to　laugh；　staring　down　at　his　own　plate　a　bit　too　innocently。
　〃You　did　that！〃
　
　He　looked　up；　his　expression　wide…eyed。　〃What？〃
　
　Padme　scowled；　pointing　her　fork　at　him　and　waving　it　threateningly。　Then；　suddenly；　she　went　for　the　shuura　again。
　
　But　Anakin　was　quicker。　The　fruit　slipped　out　of　the　way；　and　she　stabbed　the　plate。　Then；　before　she　could　scowl　at　him　again；　the　shuura　rose　into　the　air　to　hover　before　her。
　〃That！〃　Padme　answered。　〃Now　stop　it！〃　She　couldn't　hold　her　feigned　anger；　though；　and　laughed　aloud　as　she　finished。　Anakin　started　laughing；　too。　Half　looking　at　him；　Padme　snapped　her　hand　at　the　floating　fruit。　He　waggled　his　fingers　and　the　fruit　looped　about　her　hand。
　〃Anakin！〃
　〃If　Master　Obi…Wan　was　here；　he'd　be　very　grumpy；〃　the　Padawan　admitted。　He　pulled　back　his　hand；　and　the　shuura　flew　across　the　table　to　his　waiting　grasp。　〃But　he's　not　here；〃　he　added；　cutting　the　fruit　into　several　slices。　Reaching　for　the　Force；　he　made　one　piece　float　upward　and　slide　toward　Padme。　She　bit　it　right　out　of　the　air。
　
　Padme　laughed　and　so　did　Anakin。　They　finished　their　dessert　with　many　fleeting　glances；　and　then；　as　Teckla　and　Nandi　returned　to　clean　up　the　plates；　the　couple　retreated　to　the　sitting　area；　with　its　fortable　chairs　and　sofa；　and　a　huge　warm　fire　blazing　in　the　hearth。
　
　Nandi　and　Teckla　finished　and　bade　the　couple　good…bye；　and　then　they　were　alone；　pletely　alone；　and　the　tension　returned　almost　immediately。　She　wanted　him　to　kiss　her；　so　desperately；　and　it　was　precisely　that　out…　of…control　sensation　that　had　stopped　her　cold。　This　was　not　right…she　knew　that　in　her　head；　despite　what　her　heart　might　be　telling　her。　They　each　had　bigger　responsibilities　for　the　time　being；　she　had　to　deal　with　the　continuing　split　of　the　Republic；　and　he　had　to　continue　his　Jedi　training。　Anakin　settled　back　into　the　sofa。　〃From　the　moment　I　met　you；　all　those　years　ago；　a　day　hasn't　gone　by　when　I　haven't　thought　of　you。〃　His　voice　was　husky；　intense；　and　the　sparkle　in　his　eyes　bored　right　through　her。　〃And　now　that　I'm　with　you　again；　I'm　in　agony。　The　closer　I　get　to　you；　the　worse　it　gets。　The　thought　of　not　being　with　you　makes　my　stomach　turn　over；　my　mouth　go　dry。　I　feel　dizzy！　I　can't　breathe！　I'm　haunted　by　the　kiss　you　never　should　have　given　me。　My　heart　is　beating；　hoping　that　kiss　will　not　bee　a　scar。〃
　
　Padme's　hand　slowly　dropped　to　her　side　and　she　sat　listening　in　amazement　at　how　honestly　he　was　opening　up　before　her；　baring　his　heart　though　he　knew　she　might　tear　it　asunder　with　a　single　word。　She　was　honored　by　the　thought；　and　truly　touched。　And　afraid。
　〃You　are　in　my　very　soul；　tormenting　me；〃　Anakin　went　on；　not　a　bit　of　falseness　in　his　tone。　This　was　no　ploy　to　garner　any　physical　favors；　this　was　honest　and　straightforward；　refreshingly　so　to　the　woman　who　had　spent　most　of　her　life　being　attended　by　handmaidens　whose　job　it　was　to　please　and　entertaining　dignitaries　whose　agendas　were　never　quite　what　they　seemed。
　〃What　can　I　do？〃　he　asked　softly。　〃I　will　do　anything　you　ask。〃　Padme　looked　away；　overwhelmed；　finding　security　in　the　distracting　dance　of　the　flames　in　the　hearth。　Several　moments　of　silence　slipped　by　unfortably。
　〃If　you　are　suffering　as　much　as　I　am；　tell　me；〃　Anakin　prompted。　Padme　turned　on　him；　her　own　frustrations　bubbling　over。　〃I　can't！〃　She　sat　back　and　struggled　to　collect　herself。　〃We　can't；〃　she　said　as　calmly　as　she　could。　〃It's　just　not　possible。〃
　〃Anything's　possible；〃　Anakin　replied；　leaning　forward。　〃Padme；　please　listen…〃
　〃You　listen；〃　she　scolded。　Somehow；　hearing　her　own　denial　brought　some　strength　to　her…much…needed　strength。　〃We　live　in　a　real　world。　e　back　to　it；　Anakin。　You're　studying　to　bee　a　Jedi　Knight。　I'm　a　Senator。　If　you　follow　your　thoughts　through　to　conclusion；　they　will　take　us　to　a　place　we　cannot　go　。。。　regardless　of　the　way　we　feel　about　each　other。〃
　〃Then　you　do　feel　something！〃
　
　Padme　swallowed　hard。　〃Jedi　aren't　allowed　to　marry；〃　she　pointed　out；　needing　to　deflect　attention　away　from　her　feelings　at　that　debilitating　moment。　〃You'd　be　expelled　from　the　Order。　I　will　not　let　you　give　up　your　future　for　me。〃
　〃You're　asking　me　to　be　rational；〃　Anakin　replied　without　the　slightest　hesitation；　and　his　confidence　and　boldness　here　caught　Padme　a　bit　by　surprise。　There　was　no　longer　anything　of　the　child　in　the　man　before　her。
　
　She　felt　her　control　slip　a　notch。
　〃That　is　something　I　know　I　cannot　do；〃　he　went　on。　〃Believe　me；　I　wish　I　could　wish　my　feelings　away。　But　I　can't。〃
　〃I　am　not　going　to　give　in　to　this；〃　she　said　with　all　the　conviction　she　could　muster。　She　finished　with　her　jaw　clenched　very　tightly；　knowing　that　she　had　to　be　the　strong　one　here；　for　Anakin's　sake　more　than　for　her　own。
　〃I　have　more　important　things　to　do　than　fall　in　love。〃
　
　He　turned　away；　looking　wounded；　and　she　winced。　He　stared　into　the　fire；　his　face　twisting　this　way　and　that　as　he　tried　to　sort　through　it　all。　She　knew　he　was　trying　to　find　a　way　around　her　resolve。
　〃It　wouldn't　have　to　be　that　way；〃　he　said　at　length。　〃We　could　keep　it　a　secret。〃
　〃Then　we'd　be　living　a　lie…one　we　couldn't　keep　up　even　if　we　wanted　to。　My　sister　saw　it；　so　did　my　mother。　I　couldn't　do　that。　Could　you；　Anakin？　Could　you　live　like　that？〃
　
　He　stared　at　her　intensely　for　a　moment；　then　looked　back　to　the　fire；　seeming　defeated。
　〃No；　you're　right；〃　he　finally　admitted。　〃It　would　destroy　us。〃
　
　Padme　looked　from　Anakin　to　the　fire。　Which　would　destroy　her…destroy　them…　she　had　to　wonder。　The　action　or　the　thought？
　
　Chapter　Sixteen
　
　〃Wow！〃　Boba　Fett　exclaimed；　rushing　across　the　landing　pad　to　view　the　sleek　starfighter　up　close。
　〃Beautiful　ship；〃　Jango　agreed；　strolling　to　catch　up　to　his　son；　studying　the　craft　with　every　stride。　He　noted　the　markings　and　design；　the　extra　firepower；　and；　particularly；　the　astromech　droid　hardwired　into　the　left　wing；　tootl