gc.thewhiterose-第69部分

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al　mitment。　She　had　not　cut　him　off。　She　had　not　banished　him　from　her　heart。　But　he　was　not　redeemed　in　her　eyes。
　　　He　then　had　said　some　very　unkind　things　about　Silent；　whom；　it　was　obvious；　she　held　in　affection　but　nothing　deeper。
　　　And　that　had　gotten　her　really　angry。　I　had　peeped　then。　And　she　had　gone　on　in　great　length　and　fury　about　not　being　a　prize　in　some　men's　game；　like　a　princess　in　some　dopey　fairy　tale　where　a　gang　of　suitors　ride　around　doing　stupid　and　dangerous　things　vying　for　her　hand。
　　　Like　the　Lady；　she　had　been　in　charge　too　long　to　accept　a　standard　female　role　now。　She　was　still　the　White　Rose　inside。
　　　So　Raven　was　not　so　happy。　He　had　not　been　shut　out；　but　he　had　been　told　he　had　a　long　way　to　go　if　he　wanted　to　lay　any　claims。
　　　The　first　task　she　had　given　him　was　righting　himself　with　his　children。
　　　I　halfway　felt　sorry　for　the　guy。　He　knew　only　one　role。　Hard　guy。　And　it　had　been　stripped　away。
　　　One…Eye　interrupted　my　thoughts。　〃This　is　it；　Croaker。　This　is　all。　Going　to　be　a　big　funeral。〃
　　　It　would。　〃Shall　I　preside　as　senior　officer　surviving？　Or　do　you　want　to　exercise　your　prerogative　as　oldest　brother？〃
　　　〃You　do　it。〃　He　was　in　no　mood　to　do　anything　but　brood。
　　　Neither　was　I。　But　there　were　ten　of　us　still　alive；　surrounded　by　potential　enemies。　We　had　decisions　to　make。
　　　〃All　right。　This　is　an　official　convocation　of　the　Black　pany；　last　of　the　Free　panies　of　Khatovar。　We've　lost　our　captain。　First　business　is　to　elect　a　new　mander。　Then　we　have　to　decide　how　we're　going　to　get　out　of　here。　Any　nominations？〃
　　　〃You；〃　Otto　said。
　　　〃I'm　a　physician。〃
　　　〃You're　the　only　real　officer　left。〃
　　　Raven　started　to　rise。
　　　I　told　him；　〃You　sit　down　and　keep　quiet。　You　don't　even　belong　here。　You　walked　out　on　us　fifteen　years　ago；　remember？　e　on；　you　guys。　Who　else？〃
　　　Nobody　spoke。　Nobody　volunteered。　Nobody　met　my　eye；　either。　They　all　knew　I　did　not　want　it。
　　　Goblin　squeaked；　〃Is　anybody　against　Croaker？〃
　　　Nobody　blackballed　me。　It's　wonderful　to　be　loved。　Grand　to　be　the　least　of　evils。
　　　I　wanted　to　turn　it　down。　The　option　was　not　there。　〃All　right。　Next　order　of　business。　Getting　the　hell　out　of　here。　We're　surrounded；　guys。　And　the　Guard　will　get　its　balance　pretty　soon。　We've　got　to　get　gone　before　they　start　looking　around　for　somebody　to　whip　on。　But　once　we　get　clear；　then　what？〃
　　　Nobody　offered　an　opinion。　These　men　were　as　much　in　shock　as　the　Guards。
　　　〃All　right。　I　know　what　I　want　to　do。　Since　time　immemorial　one　of　the　jobs　of　the　Annalist　has　been　to　return　the　Annals　to　Khatovar　should　the　pany　disband　or　be　demolished。　We've　been　demolished。　I　propose　a　vote　to　disband。　Some　of　us　have　assumed　obligations　that　are　going　to　put　us　at　odds　as　soon　as　we　don't　have　anybody　more　dangerous　to　fuss　at。〃　I　looked　at　Silent。　He　met　my　gaze。　He'd　just　moved　his　seat　so　he　was　more　into　the　gap　between　Darling　and　Raven；　a　gesture　understood　by　everyone　but　Raven　himself。
　　　I　had　nominated　myself　guardian　for　the　Lady；　for　the　time　being。　There　was　no　way　we　could　keep　those　two　women　in　one　another's　pany　for　long。　I　hoped　we　could　hold　the　group　together　as　far　as　Oar。　I　would　be　satisfied　with　getting　to　the　edge　of　the　forest。　We　needed　every　hand。　Our　tactical　situation　could　not　have　been　worse。
　　　〃Shall　we　disband？〃　I　asked。
　　　That　caused　a　stir。　Everyone　but　Silent　argued　the　negative。
　　　I　interjected；　〃This　is　a　formal　proposition。　I　want　those　with　special　interests　to　go　their　own　ways　without　the　stigma　of　desertion。　That　don't　mean　we　have　to　split。　What　I'm　saying　is；　we　formally　shed　the　name　the　Black　pany。　I'll　head　south　with　the　Annals；　looking　for　Khatovar。　Anyone　who　wants　can　e。　Under　the　usual　rules。〃
　　　Nobody　wanted　to　give　up　the　name。　That　would　be　like　renouncing　a　patronym　thirty　generations　old。
　　　〃So　we　don't　give　it　up。　Who　would　rather　not　go　look　for　Khatovar？〃
　　　Three　hands　rose。　All　belonged　to　troopers　who　had　enlisted　north　of　the　Sea　of　Torments。　Silent　abstained；　though　he　wanted　to　go　his　own　way；　in　pursuit　of　his　own　impossible　dream。
　　　Then　another　hand　shot　up。　Belatedly；　Goblin　had　noted　that　One…Eye　was　not　opposed。　They　started　one　of　their　arguments。　I　cut　it　short。
　　　〃I　won't　insist　on　the　majority　dragging　everybody　along。　As　mander；　I　can　discharge　anyone　who　wants　to　follow　another　path。　Silent？〃
　　　He　had　been　a　brother　of　the　Black　pany　longer　than　I。　We　were　his　friends；　his　family。　His　heart　was　torn。
　　　Finally；　he　nodded。　He　would　go　his　own　road；　even　without　promises　from　Darling。　The　three　who　had　opposed　heading　for　Khatovar　nodded　too。　I　entered　their　discharges　in　the　Annals。　〃You're　out；〃　I　told　them。　〃I'll　deal　out　your　shares　of　money　and　equipment　when　we　clear　the　south　edge　of　the　forest。　Till　then　we　stick　together。〃　I　did　not　pursue　it　further；　or　in　a　moment　I　would　have　been　hanging　all　over　Silent；　bawling　my　eyes　out。　We　had　been　through　a　lot；　he　and　I。
　　　I　wheeled　on　Goblin；　pen　poised。　〃Well？　Do　I　strike　your　name？〃
　　　〃Go　on；〃　One…Eye　said。　〃Hurry。　Do　it。　Get　rid　of　him。　We　don't　need　his　kind。　He's　never　been　anything　but　trouble。〃
　　　Goblin　scowled　at　him。　〃Just　for　that　I'm　not　leaving。　I'm　going　to　stay　and　outlive　you　and　make　your　remaining　days　examples　of　misery。　And　I　hope　you　live　another　hundred　years。〃
　　　I　had　not　thought　they　would　split。　〃Fine；〃　I　said；　stifling　a　grin。　〃Hagop；　take　a　couple　men　and　round　up　some　animals。　The　rest　of　you　collect　whatever　might　be　useful。　Like　money；　if　you　see　any　laying　around。〃
　　　They　looked　at　me　with　eyes　still　dull　with　the　impact　of　what　had　happened。
　　　〃We're　getting　out；　guys。　As　soon　as　we　can　ride。　Before　any　more　trouble　finds　us。　Hagop。　Don't　stint　on　pack　animals。　I　want　to　carry　off　everything　that　isn't　nailed　down。〃
　　　There　was　talk；　argument；　whatnot；　but　I　closed　the　official　debate　at　that　point。
　　　Cunning　devil　that　I　am；　I　got　the　Guards　to　do　our　burying。　I　stood　over　the　pany　graves　with　Silent　and　shed　more　than　a　few　tears。　〃I　never　thought　Elmo　。　。　。　He　was　my　best　friend。〃　It　had　hit　me。　At　last。　Hard。　Now　I　had　done　all　the　duties；　there　was　nothing　to　hold　it　at　bay。　〃He　was　my　sponsor　when　I　came　in。〃
　　　Silent　lifted　a　hand；　gently　squeezed　my　arm。　It　was　as　much　of　a　gesture　as　I　could　expect。
　　　The　Guards　were　paying　their　last　respects　to　their　own。　Their　daze　was　fading。　Soon　they　would　begin　thinking　about　getting　on　with　business。　About　asking　the　Lady　what　they　should　do。　In　a　sense；　they　had　been　rendered　unemployed。
　　　They　did　not　know　their　mistress　had　been　disarmed。　I　prayed　they　did　not　learn；　for　I　meant　to　use　her　as　our　ticket　out。
　　　I　dreaded　what　might　happen　should　her　loss　bee　general　knowledge。　On　the　broad　canvas；　civil　wars　to　torment　the　world。　On　the　fine；　attempts　at　revenge　upon　her　person。
　　　Someday　someone　would　begin　to　suspect。　I　just　wanted　the　secret　kept　till　we　had　a　good　run　at　getting　out　of　the　empire。
　　　Silent　took　my　arm　again。　He　wanted　to　go。　〃One　second；〃　I　said。　I　drew　my　sword；　saluted　our　graves；　repeated　the　ancient　formula　of　parting。　Then　I　followed　him　to　where　the　others　waited。
　　　Silent's　party　would　ride　with　us　a　while；　as　I'd　wished。　Our　ways　would　part　when　we　felt　safe　from　the　Guards。　I　did　not　look　forward　to　that　moment；　inevitable　though　it　was。　How　keep　two　such　as　Darling　and　the　Lady　in　pany　when　there　was　no　survival　imperative？
　　　I　swung　into　the　saddle　cursing　my　wretched　aching　ankle。　The　Lady　gave　me　a　dirty　look。　〃Well；〃　I　said。　〃You're　showing　some　spirit。〃
　　　〃Are　you　kidnapping　me？〃
　　　〃You　want　to　be　alone　with　all　your　folks？　With　maybe　nothing　better　than　a　knife　to　keep　order？〃　Then　I　forced　a　grin。　〃We've　got　a　date。　Remember？　Dinner　at　the　Gardens　in　Opal？〃
　　　For　just　a　moment　there　was　a　spark　of　mischief　behind　her　despair。　And　a　look　from　a　moment　by　a　fire　when　we　had　e　close。　Then　the　shadow　returned。
　　　I　leaned　closer；　trembling　with　the　thought。　I　whispered；　〃And　I　need　your　help　to　get　the　Annals　out　of　the　Tower。〃　I　had　not　told　anyone　that　I　did　not　have　them　in　my　possession　yet。
　　　The　shadow　went。　〃Dinner？　That's　a　promise？〃　The　witch　cou