sk.thetalisman-第183部分

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　　And　then　he　realized　how　much　an　effort　this　shrunken　woman　had　made。　She　had　been　looking　for　him；　he　understood　in　a　great　giddy　rush　of　prehension。　His　mother　had　known　he　was　ing。　She　had　trusted　him　to　return　and　in　a　way　that　must　have　been　connected　to　the　fact　of　the　Talisman　itself；　she　had　known　the　moment　of　his　return。
　　'I'm　here；　Mom；'　he　whispered。　A　wad　of　wet　stuff　bubbled　from　his　nostrils。　He　unceremoniously　wiped　his　nose　with　the　sleeve　of　his　coat。
　　He　realized　for　the　first　time　that　his　entire　body　was　trembling。
　　'I　brought　it　back；'　he　said。　He　experienced　a　moment　of　absolute　radiant　pride；　of　pure　acplishment。　'I　brought　back　the　Talisman；'　he　said。
　　Gently　he　set　her　nutlike　hand　down　on　the　counterpane。
　　Beside　the　chair；　where　he　had　placed　it　（every　bit　as　gently）　on　the　floor；　the　Talisman　continued　to　glow。　But　its　light　was　faint；　hesitant；　cloudy。　He　had　healed　Richard　by　simply　rolling　the　globe　down　the　length　of　his　friend's　body；　he　had　done　the　same　for　Speedy。　But　this　was　to　be　something　else。　He　knew　that；　but　not　what　'it'　was　to　be　。　。　。　unless　it　was　a　question　of　knowing　and　not　wanting　to　believe。
　　He　could　not　possibly　break　the　Talisman；　not　even　to　save　his　mother's　life…that　much　he　did　know。
　　Now　the　interior　of　the　Talisman　slowly　filled　with　a　cloudy　whiteness。　The　pulses　faded　into　one　another　and　became　a　single　steady　light。　Jack　placed　his　hands　on　it；　and　the　Talisman　shot　forth　a　blinding　wall　of　light；　rainbow！　which　seemed　nearly　to　speak。　AT　LAST！
　　Jack　went　back　across　the　room　toward　the　bed；　the　Talisman　bouncing　and　spraying　light　from　floor　to　wall　to　ceiling；　illuminating　the　bed　fitfully；　garishly。
　　As　soon　as　he　stood　beside　his　mother's　bed；　the　texture　of　the　Talisman　seemed　to　Jack　to　subtly　alter　beneath　his　fingers。　Its　glassy　hardness　shifted　somehow；　became　less　slippery；　more　porous。　The　tips　of　his　fingers　seemed　almost　to　sink　into　the　Talisman。　The　cloudiness　filling　it　boiled　and　darkened。
　　And　at　this　moment　Jack　experienced　a　strong…in　fact；　passionate…feeling　he　would　have　thought　was　impossible；　that　day　long　ago　when　he　had　set　off　for　his　first　day's　walk　in　the　Territories。　He　knew　that　in　some　unforeseen　way　the　Talisman；　the　object　of　so　much　blood　and　trouble；　was　going　to　alter。　It　was　going　to　change　forever；　and　he　was　going　to　lose　it。　The　Talisman　would　no　longer　be　his。　Its　clear　skin　was　clouding　over；　too；　and　the　entire　beautiful　grooved　gravid　surface　was　softening。　The　feeling　now　was　not　glass　but　warming　plastic。
　　Jack　hurriedly　set　the　altering　Talisman　down　in　his　mother's　hands。　It　knew　its　job；　it　had　been　made　for　this　moment；　in　some　fabulous　smithy　it　had　been　created　to　answer　the　requirements　of　this　particular　moment　and　of　none　other。
　　He　did　not　know　what　he　expected　to　happen。　An　explosion　of　light？　A　smell　of　medicine？　Creation's　big　bang？
　　Nothing　happened。　His　mother　continued　visibly　but　motionlessly　to　die。
　　'Oh　please；'　Jack　blurted；　'please…Mom…please…'
　　His　breath　solidified　in　the　middle　of　his　chest。　A　seam；　once　one　of　the　vertical　grooves　in　the　Talisman；　had　soundlessly　opened。　Light　slowly　poured　out　and　pooled　over　his　mother's　hands。　From　the　cloudy　interior　of　the　loose；　emptying　ball；　more　light　spilled　through　the　open　seam。
　　From　outside　came　a　sudden　and　loud　music　of　birds　celebrating　their　existence。
　　　
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　　　But　of　that　Jack　was　only　distractedly　conscious。　He　leaned　breathlessly　forward　and　watched　the　Talisman　pour　itself　out　onto　his　mother's　bed。　Cloudy　brightness　welled　up　within　it。　Seams　and　sparks　of　light　enlivened　it。　His　mother's　eyes　twitched。　'Oh　Mom；'　he　whispered。　'Oh　。　。　。'　
　　Gray…golden　light　flooded　through　the　opening　in　the　Talisman　and　cloudily　drifted　up　his　mother's　arms。　Her　sallow；　wizened　face　very　slightly　frowned。
　　Jack　inhaled　unconsciously。
　　（What？）
　　（Music？）
　　The　gray…golden　cloud　from　the　heart　of　the　Talisman　was　lengthening　over　his　mother's　body；　coating　her　in　a　translucent　but　slightly　opaque；　delicately　moving　membrane。　Jack　watched　this　fluid　fabric　slide　across　Lily's　pitiful　chest；　down　her　wasted　legs。　From　the　open　seam　in　the　Talisman　a　wondrous　odor　spilled　out　with　the　gray…golden　cloud；　an　odor　sweet　and　unsweet；　of　flowers　and　earth；　wholly　good；　yeasty；　a　smell　of　birth；　Jack　thought；　though　he　had　never　attended　an　actual　birth。　Jack　drew　it　into　his　lungs　and　in　the　midst　of　his　wonder　was　gifted　with　the　thought　that　he　himself；　Jack…O　Sawyer；　was　being　born　at　this　minute…and　then　he　imagined；　with　a　barely　perceptible　shock　of　recognition；　that　the　opening　in　the　Talisman　was　like　a　vagina。　（He　had　of　course　never　seen　a　vagina　and　had　only　the　most　rudimentary　idea　of　its　structure。）　Jack　looked　directly　into　the　opening　in　the　distended　loosened　Talisman。
　　Now　he　became　conscious　for　the　first　time　of　the　incredible　racket；　in　some　way　all　mixed　up　with　faint　music；　of　the　birds　outside　the　dark　windows。
　　（Music？　What　。　。　。　？）
　　A　small　colored　ball　full　of　light　shot　past　his　vision；　flashing　in　the　open　seam　for　a　moment；　then　continued　beneath　the　Talisman's　cloudy　surface　as　it　dove　into　the　shifting　moving　gaseous　interior。　Jack　blinked。　It　had　resembled…Another　followed；　and　this　time　he　had　time　to　see　the　demarcation　of　blue　and　brown　and　green　on　the　tiny　globe；　the　coastal　shorelines　and　tiny　mountain　ranges。　On　that　tiny　world；　it　occurred　to　him；　stood　a　paralyzed　Jack　Sawyer　looking　down　at　an　even　tinier　colored　speck；　and　on　that　speck　stood　a　Jack…O　the　height　of　a　dust　mote　staring　at　a　little　world　the　size　of　an　atom。　Another　world　followed　the　first　two；　spinning　in；　out；　in；　out　of　the　widening　cloud　within　the　Talisman。
　　His　mother　moved　her　right　hand　and　moaned。
　　Jack　began　openly　to　weep。　She　would　live。　He　knew　it　now。　All　had　worked　as　Speedy　had　said；　and　the　Talisman　was　forcing　life　back　into　his　mother's　exhausted；　disease…ridden　body；　killing　the　evil　that　was　killing　her。　He　bent　forward；　for　a　moment　almost　giving　in　to　the　image　of　himself　kissing　the　Talisman　which　filled　his　mind。　The　odors　of　jasmine　and　hibiscus　and　freshly　overturned　earth　filled　his　nostrils。　A　tear　rolled　off　the　end　of　his　nose　and　sparkled　like　a　jewel　in　the　shafts　of　light　from　the　Talisman。　He　saw　a　belt　of　stars　drift　past　the　open　seam；　a　beaming　yellow　sun　swimming　in　vast　black　space。　Music　seemed　to　fill　the　Talisman；　the　room；　the　whole　world　outside。　A　woman's　face；　the　face　of　a　stranger；　moved　across　the　open　seam。　Children's　faces；　too；　then　the　faces　of　other　women　Tears　rolled　down　his　own　face；　for　he　had　seen　swimming　in　the　Talisman　his　mother's　own　face；　the　confident　wise…cracking　tender　features　of　the　Queen　of　half　a　hundred　quick　movies。　When　he　saw　his　own　face　drifting　among　all　the　worlds　and　lives　falling　toward　birth　within　the　Talisman；　he　thought　he　would　burst　with　feeling。　He　expanded。　He　breathed　in　light。　And　became　at　last　aware　of　the　astonishment　of　noises　taking　place　all　about　him　when　he　saw　his　mother's　eyes　stay　open　as　long；　at　least；　as　a　blessed　two　seconds　。　。　。
　　（for　alive　as　birds；　as　alive　as　the　worlds　contained　within　the　Talisman；　there　came　to　him　the　sounds　of　trombones　and　trumpets；　the　cries　of　saxophones；　the　joined　voices　of　frogs　and　turtles　and　gray　doves　singing；　The　people　who　know　my　magic　have　filled　the　land　with　smoke；　there　came　to　him　the　voices　of　Wolfs　making　Wolfmusic　at　the　moon。　Water　spanked　against　the　bow　of　a　ship　and　a　fish　spanked　the　surface　of　a　lake　with　the　side　of　its　body　and　a　rainbow　spanked　the　ground　and　a　travelling　boy　spanked　a　drop　of　spittle　to　tell　him　which　way　to　go　and　a　spanked　baby　squinched　its　face　and　opened　its　throat；　and　there　came　the　huge　voice　of　an　orchestra　singing　with　its　whole　massive　heart；　and　the　room　filled　with　the　smoky　trail　of　a　single　voice　rising　and　rising　and　rising　over　all　these　forays　of　sound。　Trucks　jammed　gears　and　factory　whistles　blew　and　somewhere　a　tire　exploded　and　somewhere　a　firecracker　loudly　spent　itself　and　a　lover　whispered　again　and　a　child　squalled　and　the　voice