el.angeleyes-第18部分

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e　her　father　again；　to　gain　from　him　what　she　never　had　been　able　to；　a　sense　of　her　own　worth；　a　knowledge　seen　in　his　eyes；　heard　in　his　tone　of　voice　if　not　directly　from　his　words；　that　he　was　proud　of　her；　the　way　he　was　proud　of　Greg。　There　had　never　been　room　for　her　in　a　family　fixated　on　continual　praise　for　Gregory　Nunn；　pilot；　astronaut；　and　it　was　far　less　painful　to　relinquish　all　hope　than　to　be　forever　disappointed。
　The　fact　was；　had　she　been　able　to　admit　it　to　herself；　Tori　would　have　seen　that　she　loved　her　father　as　she　loved　Greg。　Both　were　extraordinary　people　in　much　the　same　way。　But　Tori's　burning　need　to　be　recognized　in　her　own　right　by　her　father　made　it　impossible　for　her　to　see　him　with　the　same　objectivity　she　saw　Greg。
　In　a　way；　it　was　odd　that　she　put　no　blame　on　her　brother　for　the　praise　lavished　on　him。　Shouldn't　she　see　it　as　his　fault　that　when　the　family　spotlight　swung　on　him；　it　left　her　in　shadow？　Yet　she　did　not。　Perhaps　her　love　for　Greg　was　so　plete　that　it　never　occurred　to　her　to　hate　him。　Certainly　she　envied　his　relationship　with　Ellis　Nunn；　and　yet　whatever　her　lack；　she　saw　it　as　her　father's　fault；　not　Greg's。
　But；　in　another　way；　it　was　perfectly　understandable　that　she　should　hold　her　brother　blameless　for　the　excesses　of　her　family。　Greg　was　her　lone　ally　in　her　skirmishes　with　her　parents；　and　to　exclude　him　from　her　life　would　be　to　threaten　her　very　existence。
　But　with　Greg　gone　from　Diana's　Garden；　Tori　discovered　that　her　desire　to　get　as　far　away　from　Los　Angeles　as　possible　overshadowed　everything　else。
　Japan。
　Where　a　fire　awaited　her；　burning　in　the　darkness　of　her　night。
　Perhaps　sensei　discerned　the　blackness　inside　her；　but　if　so；　he　made　no　ment　on　it。　Sensei　was　a　believer　in　hard　work　…　in　discipline；　he　once　told　Tori；　is　the　answer　to　every　problem。
　Either　he　was　mistaken　or　Tori　was　unable　to　absorb　his　teachings　deeply　enough。　In　either　case；　Tori　graduated　from　his　arduous　course　of　training…the　only　woman　to　make　it　all　the　way　through…without　having　successfully　confronted　the　specters　within　her　own　night。
　This　was　the　state　in　which　Bernard　Godwin　found　her：　dangerous；　her　nerves　hair…trigger　fine；　walking　the　edge　between　trouble　and　death；　and　getting　a　hell　of　a　kick　out　of　it。
　In　fact；　when　she　remembered　the　moment　of　her　first　meeting　with　Bernard　Godwin；　what　stuck　out　most　was　that　she　had　almost　gotten　him　killed。
　He　had　found　her　in　an　akachochin　called　The　Happily　Ever　After。　The　after…hours　club　was　in　the　wrong　end　of　Nihon…bashi…God　knows　how　Bernard　even　found　it。　Walking　into　the　place　was　like　being　sucked　into　a　whirlpool　in　the　center　of　a　cesspit。
　A　Yakuza　underboss　approximately　as　large　as　Godzilla　was　hitting　on　her。　She　didn't　mind；　she　liked　his　tattoos：　flames；　everywhere　flames；　eating　gods；　demons；　mythical　animals；　and　fierce　swordsmen　with　indiscriminate　greed。　The　flames　made　her　think　of　exorcism；　turning　filth　to　oily　smoke；　purging　sacred　ground　that　had　been　made　profane；　purifying　the　night。
　Just　before　Bernard　Godwin　came　down　the　stairs　in　The　Happily　Ever　After；　she　remembered　posing　the　first　line　of　a　reply　to　the　letter　she　had　just　received　from　her　brother：　It's　all　right；　Greg。　I'm　doing　the　best　I　can。　Smiling　up　at　Godzilla；　the　Japanese　gangster　full　of　fantastic　flames。　Yessir；　she　thought。　He's　evil；　he's　nasty；　and　he's　all　mine。
　Then　Bernard　Godwin　had　introduced　himself。　It　was　not　a　happy　moment；　for　either　Tori　or　Godzilla。　Neither　of　them　wanted　to　be　interrupted。　Then　Bernard　Godwin　said　that　he　had　a　proposition　for　Tori；　but　first　she　must　e　away　with　him　out　of　this　place；　and　all　hell　broke　loose。
　Godzilla　might　have　been　huge；　but　he　was　astonishingly　quick。　This　was　his　turf；　and　he　was　nothing　if　not　intensely　territorial。　Bernard　had　muscled　in　on　his　property；　and　Godzilla　was　enraged。　He　displayed　his　displeasure　by　picking　Bernard　up　in　one　meat…hook　fist　and　shaking　him　until　Bernard's　teeth　rattled。
　〃Stop　it！〃　Tori　said。
　Godzilla　ignored　her。　A　small　blade　snicked　into　his　left　hand。　It　headed　for　Bernard's　throat。
　Tori　drove　her　doubled…up　knuckles　into　Godzilla's　sternum　while　simultaneously　smacking　him　in　the　groin　with　her　knee。　For　a　moment　nothing　happened；　then　Godzilla's　eyes　began　to　water；　his　mouth　flopped　open；　and　he　dropped　Bernard　Godwin　to　the　none　too　clean　floor。
　Tori　knew　her　exit　cue。　She　grabbed　Bernard　by　the　back　of　the　neck　and　got　out　of　there。
　Across　town　in　Roppongi；　in　an　infinitely　more　savory　neighborhood；　they　entered　an　all…night　sushi　restaurant。　A　sign　over　the　door　had　imprinted　on　it　the　image　of　a　round；　spiky　fish。
　〃You　're　buying；　〃　Tori　said　as　they　sat　down。　〃You　owe　me。〃
　〃It　will　be　a　pleasure；〃　Bernard　Godwin　said；　inclining　his　head　in　a　gesture　that　seemed　both　old…fashioned　and　appropriate。　She　was　surprised　that　he　appeared　none　the　worse　for　his　ordeal。
　Tori　ordered　for　them：　bowls　of　baby　eels　to　start；　then　an　assortment　of　sushi　that　included　abalone；　flying　fish　roe；　and　sea　urchin。　Lastly；　she　ordered　broiled　fugu。　All　this　was　quite　deliberate：　the　Japanese　Unique　Culture　Test。　Tori　had　been　subjected　to　it　on　her　arrival；　she　saw　no　reason　why　she　shouldn't　subject　Bernard　Godwin　in　the　same　way。　She　had　taken　him　to　one　of　the　restaurants　licensed　to　serve　blowfish；　which；　in　the　wrong　hands；　could　be　lethally　poisonous。
　They　were　given　hot　towels。　The　hot　sake　came　first；　and　Tori　watched　Bernard　as　he　drank　his。　They　were　on　their　second　bottle　when　the　baby　eels　arrived：　tiny　white　things　in　a　clear　broth。　The　eels　were　without　doubt　disgusting　to　look　at；　but　really　were　quite　tasty。　Tori　ate　with　gusto；　and　was　mildly　disappointed　when　Bernard　dug　in　without　so　much　as　twitching　an　eyelid。　Oh；　well；　she　thought。　There's　plenty　more　to　e。
　All　the　sushi　she　had　ordered　was　food　for　which；　after　a　long　time；　one　might　possibly　acquire　a　taste。　It　was　true　that　many　Japanese　themselves　did　not　care　for　sea　urchin。　But　to　impress　Westerners　as　well　as　to　prove　their　superiority　and　separate…ness；　they　ate　it　anyway；　pretending　to　savor　its　strong　rancid　taste。
　To　her　dismay；　Bernard　tackled　the　sushi　with　a　good　deal　of　aplomb。　He　even　asked　for　more　marinated　ginger　and　wasabi；　the　fiery　green　horseradish。
　〃I　once　read　a　report；〃　he　told　her；　〃that　said　this　ginger　was　a　natural　protection　from　any　nasty　microorganisms　that　might　be　in　the　raw　fish。　Had　you　heard　that　also？〃
　Tori　said　she　hadn't。
　The　fugu　came；　and　Tori　told　him　what　it　was。　Bernard　looked　at　the　fish；　shrugged；　ate　it。　When　they　were　both　finished　with　their　food；　and　Tori　ordered　their　sixth　bottle　of　sake；　Bernard　said；　〃Tell　me；　young　lady；　how　did　I　do？〃
　〃Pardon　me？〃
　〃How　did　I　do　on　the　test　you　just　gave　me？〃　he　said　patiently。　〃Did　I　pass？〃
　Tori　looked　at　him　for　a　moment；　then　laughed　until　the　tears　came　to　her　eyes。　〃Jesus　Christ；〃　she　said；　wiping　at　her　eyes；　''you　really　are　the　limit。〃
　〃Funny；〃　Bernard　Godwin　said　with　a　serious　face；　〃that　was　just　what　I　was　thinking　about　you。〃
　Tori　took　him　back　to　her　apartment；　a　tiny　place　in　an　ugly；　colorless　building　that　looked　like　a　cracker　box　stood　on　end。　But　inside　it　was　fortable；　if　cramped。
　Bernard　seemed　content　to　settle　in。　He　was　an　exceedingly　magnetic　man；　for　he　carried　with　him　a　singular　kind　of　power。　He　reminded　her　of　images　she　had　seen　of　Julius　Caesar：　the　planular　face；　dominated　by　the　long　patrician　nose；　the　prominent　chin；　the　mander's　eyes；　so　full　of　good　humor　as　well　as　power。　It　was　a　good　face；　strong　and　at　the　same　time　gentle。　It　was　a　glyph　which；　if　you　read　it　correctly；　seemed　to　say；　If　you　are　my　friend；　I　will　take　care　of　you　forever；　but　if　you　are　my　enemy；　I　will　take　you　down　in　such　a　way　that　you　will　not　even　know　it's　happening。　Much　later　she　would　e　to　see　the　guile；　lurking　like　a　pike　in　deep　water；　behind　his　bright　blue　eyes。
　Tori　got　a　couple　of　Kirin　beers　from　the　half　refrigerator；　opened　them；　handed　him　one。　She　liked　that　Bernard　was　fortable　drinking　it　from　the　bottle。　He　was　dressed　in　a　pair　of　dark　blue　trousers；　a　polo　shirt　of　the