cpatricia.blacknotice-第52部分

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　　This　night　she　wore　the　handsome　dark　blue　suit　of　a　professional；　but　beneath　the　jacket　her　tight　pink　sweater　offered　her　panions　more　than　a　hint　of　nipples。　Dorothy　had　always　been　obsessed　with　her　small　breasts。　To　have　men　staring　at　them　somehow　reassured　her。
　　〃Dorothy；〃　I　said；　leaning　closer　to　her　ear；　almost　overwhelmed　by　Chanel　Coco；　〃you　need　to　e　with　me。　We　have　to　talk。〃
　　〃Do　you　know　who　she　is？〃　she　went　on　as　I　cringed。　〃The　chief　medical　examiner　of　this　fine　monwealth。　Can　you　believe　it？　I　have　a　big　sister　who's　a　coroner。〃…〃Wow；　that's　got　to　be　really　interesting；〃　one　of　the　men　said。
　　〃What　can　I　get　you　to　drink？〃　said　another。
　　〃So　what　do　you　think　is　the　truth　about　the　Ramsey　case？　Think　the　parents　did　it？〃
　　〃I'd　like　somebody　to　prove　those　were　really　Amelia　Earhart's　bones　they　found：'
　　〃Where's　the　waitress？〃
　　I　put　my　hand　on　Dorothy's　arm　and　we　got　up　from　the　table。　One　thing　was　true　about　my　sister：　She　had　too　much　pride　to　cause　a　scene　that　didn't　make　her　look　clever　and　appealing。　I　escorted　her　out　into　a　dispirited　night　of　darkened　windows　and　fog。
　　〃I'm　not　going　home　with　you；〃　she　announced；　now　that　there　was　no　one　to　hear。　〃And　let　go　of　my　fucking　arm。
　　She　pulled　in　the　direction　of　her　hotel　while　I　tugged　her　toward　my　car。
　　〃You're　ing　with　me　and　we're　going　to　figure　out　what　to　do　about　Lucy。〃
　　〃I　saw　her　earlier　at　the　hospital；〃　she　said。
　　I　put　her　in　the　passenger's　side。
　　〃She　didn't　mention　anything　about　you；〃　my　oversensitive　sister　said。
　　I　got　in　and　locked　the　doors。
　　〃Jo's　parents　are　very　sweet；〃　she　added　as　we　drove　off。　〃I　was　very　taken　aback　that　they　didn't　know　the　truth　about　Lucy　and　Jo's　relationship。〃
　　〃What　did　you　do？　Tell　them；　Dorothy？〃
　　〃Not　in　so　many　words；　but　I　suppose　I　implied　certain　things　because　I　just　assumed　they　knew。　You　know；　it　seems　so　odd　to　see　a　skyline　like　this　when　you're　used　to　Miami。〃
　　I　wanted　to　slap　her。
　　〃Anyway；　after　talking　with　the　Sanderses　for　a　while；　I　came　to　realize　they're　the　Jerry　Falwell　type　and　weren't　about　to　condone　a　lesbian　relationship。〃
　　〃I　wish　you　wouldn't　use　that　word：〃
　　〃Well；　that's　what　they　are。　Descended　from　the　Amazon　types　on　the　island　of　Lesbos　in　tile　Aegean　Sea；　off　the　coast　of　Turkey。　Turkish　women　have　so　much　hair。　You　ever　noticed？〃
　　〃You　ever　heard　of　Sappho？〃
　　〃Of　course　I've　heard　of　him；〃　Dorothy　said。
　　〃She　was　a　Lesbian　because　she　lived　on　Lesbos。　She　was　one　of　the　greatest　lyric　poets　in　antiquity。〃
　　〃Ha。　Nothing　poetic　about　some　of　these　body…pierced；　stocky　hockey　players　I　see。　And　of　course；　the　Sanderses　didn't　e　right　out　and　say　they　thought　Lucy　and　Jo　were　lesbians。　Their　reasoning　was　Jo　had　been　horribly　traumatized；　and　to　see　Lucy　would　bring　it　all　back。　It　was　too…　soon。　They　were　quite　emphatic　in　a　very　nice　way；　and　when　Lucy　showed　up；　they　were　very　kind　and　sympathetic　when　they　told　her。〃
　　I　passed　through　the　toll　plaza。
　　〃Unfortunately；　you　know　how　Lucy　is。　She　challenged　them。　She　said　she　didn't　believe　them；　and　got　pretty　loud　and　rude。　I　explained　to　the　Sanderses　that　she　was　just　very　upset　after　all　she'd　been　through。　They　were　very　patient　and　said　they'd　pray　for　her；　and　next　thing　I　knew　a　nurse　told　Lucy　she　had　to　leave。
　　〃She　stormed　out；〃　my　sister　said。　She　looked　over　at　me　to　add；　〃Of　course；　mad　at　you　or　not；　she'll　e　looking　for　you；　just　like　she　always　does。〃
　　〃How　could　you　do　that　to　her？〃　I　asked。　〃How　could　you　get　between　her　and　Jo？　What　kind　of　person　are　you？〃
　　Dorothy　was　taken　aback。　I　could　feel　her　bristle。
　　〃You've　always　been　so　jealous　of　me　because　you're　not　her　mother；〃　she　answered。
　　I　turned　off　on　the　Meadow　Street　exit　instead　of　keeping　on　toward　home。
　　〃Why　don't　we　just　settle　this　once　and　for　all；〃　Dorothy　and　her　stingers　said。　〃You're　nothing　but　a　machine；　a　puter；　one　of　those　high…tech　instruments　you　love　so　much。　And　one　has　to　ask　what's　wrong　with　a　person　who　chooses　to　spend　all　her　time　with　dead　people。　Refrigerated；　stinky；　rotting　dead　people；　most　of　them　low…lifes　to　begin　with。〃
　　I　got　on　the　Downtown　Expressway　again；　heading　back　downtown。
　　〃Versus　me；　I　believe　in　relationships。　I　spend　my　time　in　creative　pursuits；　in　reflection　and　relationships；　and　I　believe　our　bodies　are　our　temples　and　we　should　take　care　of　them　and　be　proud　of　them。　Look　at　you。〃　She　paused　for　effect。　〃You　smoke；　you　drink；　you　don't　even　belong　to　a　gym；　I　bet。　Don't　ask　me　why　you're　not　fat　and　flabby；　unless　it's　cutting　through　all　those　ribs　and　running　around　crime　scenes　or　being　on　your　feet　all　day　in　a　goddamn　morgue。　But　let's　get　to　what　the　worst　thing　is。〃
　　She　leaned　close　to　me；　her　vodka　breath　an　unpleasant　vapor。
　　〃Fasten　your　shoulder　harness；　Dorothy；〃　I　quietly　said。
　　〃What　you've　done　to　my　daughter。　My　only　child。　You　never　had　a　child　because　you've　always　been　too　busy。　So　you　took　mine；〃　she　blasted　me　with　her　boozy　breath。　〃I　should　have　never；　never；　ever　let　her　visit　you。　Where　was　my　brain　when　I　let　her　stay　summers　with　you？〃
　　She　dramatically　clutched　her　head　in　both　hands。
　　〃You　filled　her　with　all　this　guns　and　ammo　and　crimesolving　shit！　You　turned　her　into　a　fucking　little　puter　nerd　by　the　time　she　was　ten；　when　little　girls　should　be　going　to　birthday　parties　and　riding　'ponies　and　making　friends！〃
　　I　let　her　rail　on；　paying　attention　to　the　road。
　　〃You　exposed　her　to　a　big；　ugly　redneck　cop；　and　let's　face　it。　He's　really　your　only　close　relationship　with　a　man。　I　hope　like　hell　you　don't　sleep　with　a　pig　like　that。　And　I　have　to　tell　you；　as　sorry　as　I　am　about　what　happened　to　Benton；　he　was　weak。　Not　enough　sap　in　that　tree；　oh　no。　No　yolk　in　that　egg。
　　〃Huh。　You　were　the　man　in　that　relationship；　Miss　doctor…lawyer…chief。　I've　told　you　before　and　I'll　tell　you　again；　you're　nothing　but　a　man；　with　big　tits。　You　fool　everybody　because　you　look　so　elegant　in　your　Ralph　Lauren　and　ritzy…titzy　car。　You　think　you're　so　fucking　sexy　with　those　big　tits；　always　making　me　feel　something's　wrong　with　me　and　making　fun　of　me　when　I　ordered　Mark　Eden　and　all　those　other　contraptions。　And　remember　what　Mother　said？
　　〃She　gave　me　a　photograph　of　a　man's　hairy　hand　and　said；　〃That's　what　makes　a　woman's　breasts　get　big。〃'
　　〃You're　drunk；〃　I　said。
　　〃We　were　teenagers　and　you　made　fun　of　me！〃
　　〃I　never　made　fun　of　you〃
　　〃You　made　me　feel　stupid　and　ugly。　And　you　had　this　blond　hair　and　a　chest　and　all　the　boys　talked　about　you。　Especially　since　you　were　smart；　too。　Oh；　you've　always　thought　you're　so　fucking　smart　because　I　couldn't　do　anything　but　English。〃
　　〃Stop　it；　Dorothy。〃
　　〃I　hate　you。〃
　　〃No；　you　don't；　Dorothy。〃
　　〃But　you　don't　fool　me。　Oh；　no。〃
　　She　shook　her　head　from　side　to　side；　wagging　her　finger　in　my　face。
　　〃Oh；　no。　You　can't　fool　me。　I've　always　suspected　the　truth　about　you。〃
　　I　was　parked　in　front　of　the　Berkeley　Hotel；　and　she　didn't　even　notice。　She　was　screaming；　…tears　streaming　down　her　face。
　　〃You're　a　closet　diesel　dyke；〃　she　said　hatefully。　〃And　you　turned　my　daughter　into　one！　And　now　she　almost　gets　killed　and　she　thinks　I'm　lower　than　a　sewer！〃
　　〃Why　don't　you　go　inside　your　hotel　and　get　some　sleep；〃　I　said　to　her。
　　She　wiped　her　eyes　and　looked　out　the　window；　surprised　to　see　her　hotel；　as　if　it　were　a　spaceship　that　had　silently　landed。
　　〃I'm　not　dumping　you　out　on　the　roadside；　Dorothy。　But　right　now　I　think　it's　best　we're　not　together。〃
　　She　sniffled；　her　rage　fading　like　fireworks　in　the　night。　〃I'll　get　you　to　your　room；〃　I　said。
　　She　shook　her　head；　her　hands　motionless　in　her　lap；　tears　sliding　down　her　miserable　face。
　　〃She　didn't　want　to　see　me；〃　she　said　in　a　voice　as　quiet　as　a　breath。　〃The　minute　I　came　off　the　elevator　in　that　hospital；　she　looked　as　if　someone　had　just　spat　on　her　food。〃
　　A　group　of　people　were　walking　out　of　the　Tobacco　pany。　I　recognized　the　men　who　had　been　at　Dorothy's　table。　They　were　walking　unsteadily　and　laughing　too　loudly。