cpatricia.blacknotice-第69部分

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　　〃I　don't　think　you've　bucked　your　father；〃　I　said。　〃I　think　you　fool　yourself　by　being　contraire。　And　certainly　getting　a　badge　and　carrying　a　gun　and　piercing　your　ear　is　contraire　if　you　went　to　Harvard　and　are　a　millionaire。〃
　　〃Why　are　you　saying　all　this　to　me？〃
　　He　turned　to　look　at　me；　and　we　were　so　close　I　could　smell　his　cologne　and　feel　his　breath。
　　〃Because　I　don't　want　to　wake　up　tomorrow　and　realize　I'm　part　of　some　contraire　script　you've　spun　in　your　mind。　I　don't　want　to　believe　I've　just　broken　the　law　and　every　oath　I've　ever　sworn　to　because　you　just　happen　to　be　a　spoiled　rich　boy　whose　idea　of　being　contraire　is　to　encourage　someone　like　me　to　do　something　so　contraire　it　could　ruin　my　career。　What's　left　of　my　career。　And　maybe　land　me　in　some　fucking　French　prison。〃
　　〃I'd　e　visit　you。〃
　　〃This　isn't　funny。〃
　　〃I'm　not　spoiled；　Kay。〃
　　I　thought　of　the　do　not　disturb　sign；　the　chained　door。　I　touched　his　neck　and　traced　the　angle　of　his　strong　jaw；　lingering　on　the　corner　of　his　mouth。　I　had　not　felt　a　man's　beard　against　my　skin　in　more　than　a　year。　I　reached　up　with　both　hands　and　pushed　my　fingers　through　his　thick　hair。　It　was　warm　from　the　sun；　and　his　eyes　were　in　mine；　waiting　to　see　what　I　might　do　with　him。
　　I　pulled　him　to　me。　I　kissed　and　touched　him　aggressively；　running　my　hands　up　and　down　his　hard；　perfect　body　as　he　fought　with　my　clothes。
　　〃God；　you're　so　beautiful；〃　he　said　into　my　mouth。　〃Christ；　you've　been　driving　me　insane　。　。　。　！〃　He　tore'off　a　button　and　bent　hooks。　〃Sitting　there　in　front　of　the　fucking　secretary…general　and　I'm　trying　not　to　stare　at　your　breasts。〃
　　He　gathered　them　into　his　hands。　I　wanted　it　raw　and　without　limits。　I　wanted　the　violence　in　me　to　make　love　to　his　violence；　because　I　didn't　want　to　be　reminded　of　Benton；　who　had　known　how　to　slowly　smooth　me　like　a　stone　and　skip　me　through　erotic　waters。
　　I　pulled　Talley　into　the　bedroom；　and　he　was　no　match　for　me　because　I　had　experience　and　skills　he　knew　nothing　of。　I　controlled　him。　I　dominated。　I　helped　myself　to　him　until　we　were　exhausted　and　slippery　with　sweat。　Benton　wasn't　in　that　room。　But　had　he　somehow　seen　what　I　just　did；　he　would　have　understood。
　　The　afternoon　moved　on　and　we　drank　wine　and　watched　shadows　change　on　the　ceiling　as　the　sun　got　weary　of　the　day。　When　the　phone　rang；　I　didn't　answer　it。　When　Marino　thumped　on　the　door　and　called　out　to　me；　I　pretended　no　one　was　home。　When　the　phone　rang　again；　I　shook　my　head。
　　〃Marino；　Marino；〃　I　said。
　　〃Your　bodyguard。〃
　　〃He　didn't　do　a　very　good　job　this　time；〃　I　said　as　Talley　fit　as　much　of　me　into　his　mouth　as　he　could。　〃I　suppose　I'll　have　to　fire　him。〃
　　〃I　wish　you　would。〃
　　〃Tell　me　I　haven't　mitted　yet　another　felony　this　day。　And　that　your　name；　Agent　Talley；　has　nothing　to　do　with　keeping　score。〃
　　〃Okay。　My　name　has　nothing　to　do　with　keeping　score。　But　I　don't　know　about　the　felony　part。〃
　　It　seemed　that　Marino　gave　up　on　me；　and　as　it　got　dark；　Talley　and…　I　took　a　shower　together。　He　washed　my　hair　and　made　a　joke　about　the　age　difference　between　us。　He　said　it　was　another　example　of　his　being　contraire。　I　said　we　should　go　to　dinner。
　　〃What　about　the　Café　Runtz？〃　he　asked。
　　〃What　about　it？〃
　　〃What　the　French　would　call　chaleureux；　ancien　et　familial…warm；　old；　familiar。　The　Opéra…ique　is　next　door；
　　so　there　are　photographs　of　opera　singers　all　over　the　walls。〃
　　I　thought　of　Marino。　I　needed　to　let　him　know　I　was　not　lost　somewhere　in　Paris。
　　〃It's　a　nice　walk；〃　Talley　was　saying。　〃Maybe　only　fifteen　minutes。　Twenty　at　the　most。〃
　　〃I　need　to　find　Marino　first；〃　I　said。　〃He's　probably　in　the　bar。〃
　　〃Would　you　like　me　to　look　for　him　and　send　him　up？〃
　　〃I'm　sure　he　would　be　most　appreciative；〃　I　said　facetiously。
　　Marino　found　me　before　Talley　found　him。　I　was　still　drying　my　hair　when　Marino　showed　up　at　my　door；　and　the　look　on　his　face　told　me　he　knew　why　he　had　not　been　able　to　reach　me。
　　〃Where　the　hell　you　been？〃　he　asked　as　he　walked　in。
　　〃The　Institut　Médico…Légal。〃
　　〃All　day？〃
　　〃No；　not　all　day；〃　I　said。
　　Marino　looked　at　the　bed。　Talley　and　I　had　made　it；　but　it　didn't　look　quite　the　way　the　housekeepers　had　left　it　this　morning。
　　〃I'm　going　out　to　。　。　。〃　I　started　to　say。
　　〃With　him；〃　Marino　raised　his　voice。　〃I　goddamn　knew　this　would　happen。　I　can't　believe　you　fell　for　it。　Je…sus　Christ。　I　thought　you　was　above　。。。　。〃
　　〃Marino；　this　is　none　of　your　business；〃　I　wearily　said。
　　He　blocked　the　door；　hands　on　his　hips　like　a　stern　nanny。　He　looked　so　ridiculous；　I　had　to　laugh。
　　〃What's　the　matter　with　you？〃　he　exclaimed。　〃One　minute　you're　looking　at　Benton's　autopsy　report　and　the　next　you're　screwing　around　with　some　playboy；　snotty；　stuck…on…himself　kid！　You　couldn't　even　wait　twenty…four　hours；　Doc！　How　could　you　do　that　to　Benton？〃
　　〃Marino；　for　God's　sake　keep　your　voice　down。　There's　been　quite　enough　yelling　in　this　room。〃
　　〃How　could　you？〃　He　looked　at　me　with　disgust；　as　if　I　were　a　whore。　〃You　just　get　his　letter　and　have　me　and　Lucy　over　and　then　last　night　you're　sitting　here　crying。　And　what？　None　of　it　happened？　You　just　start　all　over　like　nothing　happened？　With　some　womanizing　punk？〃
　　〃Please　leave　my　room。〃　I'd　had　enough。
　　〃Oh；　no。〃　He　began　to　pace；　wagging　his　finger　at　me。　〃Oh；　no。　I　ain't　going　nowhere。　You　want　to　fuck　around　with　pretty　boy；　you　can　just　do　it　in　front　of　me。　'Cause　guess　why？　I'm　not　gonna　let　it　happen。　Someone's　got　to　do　the　right　thing　here；　and　looks　like　it's　gonna　be　me。〃
　　He　paced　and　paced；　getting　more　livid　with　each　word。　〃It's　not　about　your　letting　or　not　letting　something　happen。〃　My　fury　was　gathering。　〃Who　the　hell　do　you　think　you　are；　Marino？　Stay　out　of　my　life：〃
　　〃Well；　poor　Benton。　A　damn　good　thing　he's　dead；　huh？　Shows　how　much　you　loved　him；　all　right。〃
　　He　stopped　pacing　and　jabbed　his　finger　at　my　face。
　　〃And　I　thought　you　was　different！　What　was　you　doing　when　Benton　wasn't　looking？　That's　what　I　want　to　know！　And　all　this　time　I'm　feeling　sorry　for　you！〃
　　〃Get　out　of　my　room　now。〃　My　self…control　snapped。　〃You　goddamn　jealous　son　of　a　bitch！　How　dare　you　even　allude　to　my　relationship　with　Benton。　What　do　you　know？　Nothing；　Marino。　He's　dead；　Marino。　He's　been　dead　for　over　a　year；　Marino。　And　I'm　not　dead　and　you're　not　dead。〃
　　〃Well；　right　now　I　wish　you　was。〃
　　〃You　sound　like　Lucy　when　she　was　ten。〃
　　He　stalked　out　and　slammed　the　door　so　hard　paintings　shifted　on　the　wall　and　the　chandelier　shook。　I　picked　up　the　phone　and　called　the　front　desk。
　　〃Is　there　a　Jay　Talley　in　the　lobby？〃　I　asked。　〃Tall；　dark；　young。　Wearing　a　beige　leather　jacket；　jeans？〃
　　〃Yes；　I　see　him；　madame。〃
　　Seconds　later　Talley　was　on　the　phone。
　　〃Marino　just　stormed　out　of　here；〃　I　said。　〃Don't　let　him　see　you；　Jay。　He's　crazy。〃
　　〃Actually；　he's　just　getting　off　the　elevator　now。　And　you're　right。　He　looks　a　little　crazy。　Gotta　go。〃
　　I　ran　out　of　my　room。　I　ran　as　fast　as　I　could　through　the　corridor　and　down　the　winding；　carpeted　steps；　ignoring　the　odd　stares　I　got　from　well…dressed；　civilized　people　who　walked　at　a　leisurely　pace　and　didn't　get　into　fistfights　in　the　Grand　Hotel　in　Paris。　I　slowed　down　when　I　reached　the　lobby；　lungs　burning　and　out　of　breath；　and　to　my　horror　watched　Marino　taking　swings　at　Talley　while　two　bellmen　and　a　valet　tried　to　intervene。　A　man　at　the　registration　desk　frantically　dialed　the　phone；　probably　calling　the　police。
　　〃Marino；　no！〃　I　said　loudly　and　with　authority　as　I　hurried　over　to　him。　〃Marino；　no！〃　I　grabbed　his　arm。
　　He　was　glassy…eyed　and　sweating　profusely；　and　thank　God　he　had　no　gun　because　I　was　afraid　he　might　have　used　it　just　then。　I　kept　hold　of　his　arm　while　Talley　talked　in　French　and　gestured；　assuring　everyone　there　was　no　problem　and　not　to　call　the　police。　I　led　Marino　by　the　hand　through　the　lobby　like　a　mother　about　to　discipline　a　very　bad　little　boy。　I　escorted　him　past　valets　and　expensive　cars　and　out　onto　the　sidewalk；　where　I　stopped。
　　〃Do　you　have　any　idea　what　you're　doing？