anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第116部分
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vilion。
I did as she asked。 I saw that she was paralyzed with fear。 There was no disguising it。 She stared at the palace as though it were full of menace。
〃What in the name of Heaven can it be？〃 I asked。 〃Whatever it is that frightens you； tell me。 Pandora； there is nothing that can't be changed。 Tell me。〃
〃Oh； you are so violent in your temper；〃 she said in a whisper。 〃Can't you guess what reduces me to this abominable weakness？〃
〃No；〃 I said。 〃I know only I love you with my whole heart。 I've found you again and I'll do anything to keep you。〃
Her eyes remained fixed on the palace。
〃Even give up the female panion；〃 she asked； 〃who is inside this very house waiting for you？〃
I didn't answer。
〃I saw her at the ball；〃 she said； her eyes glassy； her voice quivering。 〃I saw her and knew what she was； quite powerful； quite graceful。 I never guessed she was your lover。 But now I know that she is。 I can hear her inside。 I can hear her hopes and dreams and how they are pinned on you。〃
〃Stop it； Pandora。 It isn't necessary that I give her up。 We are not mortals！ We can live together。〃
I took her by the arms。 I shook her。 Her hair did e loose and then violently and cruelly I pulled at it； and I buried my face in her hair。
〃Pandora； if you require this of me； I'll do it。 Only give me time； give me time to make certain that Bianca is where she might survive well and happy。 I'll do it for you； do you understand； if only you'll stop fighting me！〃
I drew back。 She appeared dazed and cold。 Her lovely hair spilled down on her shoulders。
〃What is it？〃 she asked in a low sluggish voice。 〃Why do you look at me this way？〃
I was on the edge of tears； but I stopped them。
〃Because I imagined；〃 I said； 〃that this meeting would be so very different。 And I did think that you would e with me willingly。 And I did think that we two could live in harmony with Bianca。 I believed these things。 I believed them for a long time。 And now I sit with you here and all is argument and torment。〃
〃That's all it ever was； Marius；〃 she replied in her low sad voice。 〃That's why you left me。〃
〃No；〃 I said。 〃That's not so。 Pandora； ours was a great love。 You must acknowledge it。 There was a terrible parting； yes； but we had a great love； and we can have it again if we reach for it。〃
She gazed at the house； then back at me almost furtively。 Something quickened in her and she suddenly gripped my arm with white knuckles。 There came that look of terrible fear again。
〃e into the house with me；〃 I said。 〃Meet Bianca。 Take her hands in yours。 Pandora； listen to me。 Stay in the house while I go to settle things with Arjun。 I won't be long； I promise you。〃
〃No；〃 she cried。 〃Don't you understand？ I can't go into this house。 It has nothing to do with your Bianca。〃
〃What then？ What now？ What more！〃 I demanded。
〃It's the sound I hear； the sound of their hearts beating！〃
〃The King and the Queen！ Yes； they are inside。 They are deep within the Earth； Pandora。 They are as still and silent as always。 You need not even see them。〃
A look of pure terror infected her features。 I put my arms around her； but she only looked away。
〃As still and silent as always；〃 she gasped。 〃Surely that can't be。 Not after all this time。 Marius！〃
〃Oh； but it is；〃 I said。 〃And to you it should be nothing。 You needn't go down the steps to the shrine。 It is my duty。 Pandora； stop looking away。〃
〃Don't hurt me； Marius；〃 she cautioned。 〃You're rough with me as though I were a concubine。 Treat me with grace。〃 Her lips trembled。 〃Treat me with mercy；〃 she said sadly。
I started to weep。
〃Stay with me；〃 I said。 〃e inside。 Talk to Bianca。 e to love us both。 Let time begin from this moment。〃
〃No； Marius；〃 she said。 〃Take me away from that awful sound。 Take me back to the place where I am living。 Take me back； or I shall go on foot。 I can't bear this。〃
I obeyed her mands。 We were silent as she traveled to a large handsome house in Dresden whose many windows were dark； and there I held her still； kissing her； refusing to let her go。
Finally； I drew out my handkerchief and wiped my face。 I drew in my breath and tried to speak calmly。
〃You are frightened；〃 I said； 〃and I must understand it and be patient with it。〃
She had that dazed cold look in her eyes； a look I had never seen in the early years； a look that now horrified me。
〃Tomorrow night； we shall meet again；〃 I said； 〃here perhaps in this house where you are dwelling； where you are safe from the sound of the Mother and the Father。 Wherever you wish。 But wherever you can get used to me。〃
She nodded。 She lifted her hand and stroked my cheek with her fingers。
〃How well you pretend；〃 she whispered。 〃How very fine you are； and always were。 And to think those demons in Rome thought they had put out your brilliant light。 I should have laughed at them。〃
〃Yes； and my light shines only for you；〃 I said； 〃and it was of you I dreamt when I was burnt black by the fire sent from that demon blood drinker Santino。 It was of you I dreamt as I drank from the Mother to regain my strength； as I searched for you through the countries of Europe。〃
〃Oh； my love；〃 she whispered。 〃My great love。 If only I could be again the strong one whom you remember。〃
〃But you will be；〃 I insisted。 〃You are。 I shall take care of you； yes； just as you wish。 And you and Bianca and I…we shall all love one another。 Tomorrow night； we'll talk。 We'll make plans。 We'll speak of all the great cathedrals we must see； the windows of colored glass； we'll speak of the painters whose fine work we have yet to study。 We'll speak of the New World； of its forests and its rivers。 Pandora； we will speak of everything。〃
I went on and on。
〃And you will e to love Bianca；〃 I said。 〃You will e to treasure her。 I know Bianca's heart and soul as ever I knew yours； I swear to you。 We will exist together in peace； believe me。 You have no idea of the happiness that awaits you。〃
〃Happiness？〃 she asked。 She looked at me as though she hardly understood the words I had spoken。 Then she said：
〃Marius； I leave this city tonight。 Nothing can stop it。〃
〃No； no； you can't say this to me！〃 I declared。 I grabbed her by the arms again。
〃Don't hurt me； Marius。 I leave this city tonight。 I told you。 Marius； you've waited for one hundred years to see one thing； and one thing only…that I live。 Now leave me to the existence I've chosen。〃
〃I won't。 I won't have it。〃
〃Yes； you will；〃 she whispered。 〃Marius； don't you see what I'm trying to tell you。 I haven't the courage to leave Arjun。 I haven't the courage to see the Mother and the Father。 Marius； I don't have the courage to love you anymore。 The very sound of your angry voice frightens me。 I don't have the courage to meet your Bianca。 The very thought that you might love her more than me frightens me。 I am frightened of it all； don't you see？ And even now； I am desperate for Arjun that he may take me away from all of this。 With Arjun there is for me a great simplicity！ Marius； please let me go with your forgiveness。〃
〃I don't believe you；〃 I said。 〃I told you I will give up Bianca for you。 Good God； Pandora； what more can I do？ You can't be leaving me。〃
I turned my back on her。 The expression on her face was too strange。 I couldn't endure it。
And as I sat there in the darkness； I heard the door of the carriage open。 I heard her quick step on the stones； and she was gone from me。
My Pandora； utterly gone from me。
I don't know how long I waited。 It was not a full hour。
I was too distressed； too perfectly miserable。 I didn't want to see her panion； and when I thought of banging on the doors of her house； I found it too utterly humiliating。
And in truth； in pure truth； she had convinced me。 She wouldn't remain with me。
I was about to tell my driver to take us home when a sound came to me。 It was of her howling and crying； and of objects within the house being broken。
It was all I needed to push me into action。 I left the carriage and ran to her door。 I shot an evil glance at her mortal servants； which rendered them virt
