anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第18部分
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〃I had no choice；〃 I said。 〃If I had left the old burnt god without taking his magic； you would have destroyed me； and I didn't want to die。 Why should I have died？ Yes； I took the magic that he gave me and yes； I presided over your sacrifices and then I fled as anyone of my nature would do。〃
He looked at me for a long time； as if trying to decide whether or not I wanted to quarrel further。
〃And what do I see now in you？〃 I demanded。 〃Haven't you fled your Faithful of the Forest？ Why do I e upon you in Rome？ 〃 He waited a long moment。
〃Our god；〃 he said； 〃our old burnt god。 He spoke of Egypt。 He spoke of our bringing him one who could go down into Egypt。 Did you go to Egypt？ Did you seek there the Good Mother？〃
I cloaked my mind as best I could。 I made my face severe； and I tried to figure how much I should confess and why。
〃Yes I went to Egypt；〃 I said。 〃I went to find the cause of the fire that had burnt the gods all through the North lands。〃
〃And what did you find？〃 he demanded。
I glanced from him to Avicus and I saw that he too waited upon my answer。
〃I found nothing；〃 I responded。 〃Nothing but burnt ones who pondered the same mystery。 The old legend of the Good Mother。 Nothing further。 It is finished。 There is no more to tell。〃
Did they believe me？ I couldn't tell。 Both seemed to harbor their own secrets； their own choices made long ago。
Avicus looked ever so slightly alarmed for his panion。
Mael looked up slowly and said with anger；
〃Oh； that I had never laid eyes upon you。 You wicked Roman； you rich Roman with all your splendor and fine words。〃 He looked about the house； at its wall paintings； at its couches and tables； at the marble floors。
〃Why do you say this？〃 I asked。
I tried not to despise him but to see him； and understand him； but my hatred was too great。
〃When I took you prisoner；〃 he said； 〃when I sought to teach you our poetry and our songs； do you remember how you tried to bribe me？ You spoke of your beautiful villa on the Bay of Naples。 You said that you would take me there if only I would help you escape。 Do you remember these awful things？〃
〃Yes； I remember；〃 I said coldly。 〃I was your prisoner！ You had taken me deep into the forest against my will。 What did you expect of me？ And had you let me escape； I would have taken you to my house on the Bay of Naples。 I would have paid my own ransom。 My family would have paid it。 Oh； it's too foolish to speak of these things。〃
I shook my head。 I grew too agitated。 My old loneliness beckoned to me。 I wanted silence in these rooms again。 What need had I of these two？
But the one called Avicus appealed to me silently with his expression。
And I wondered who he might be。
〃Please； keep your temper；〃 said Avicus。 〃I'm the cause of his suffering。〃
〃No；〃 said Mael quickly。 Fie glanced at his panion。 〃That can't be。〃
〃Oh； but it is；〃 declared Avicus； 〃and always has been； ever since I have you the Dark Blood。 Gain the strength either to remain with me or to leave me。 Things cannot remain as they are。〃
He reached out and put his hand on his panion's arm。 〃You've found this strange being； Marius；〃 he said； 〃and you've told Marius of the last years of your strong belief。 You've relived that awful misery。 But don't be so foolish as to hate him for what happened。 He was right to seek his freedom。 As for us； the old faith died。 The
Terrible Fire destroyed it； and nothing more could be done。〃 Mael looked as dejected as any creature I've ever seen。 Meantime my heart was fast catching up with my mind。 I was thinking：
Here are two immortals but we cannot solace one another； we cannot have friendship。 We can only part after bitter words。 And then I'll be alone again。 I'll be proud Marius who left Pandora。 I shall have my beautiful house and all my fine possessions to myself。
I realized Avicus was staring at me； trying to probe my mind； but failing though his Mind Gift was quite terrifically strong。 〃Why do you live as vagabonds？ 〃 I asked。
〃We don't know how to live as anything else；〃 said Avicus。 〃We've never tried。 We shy away from mortals； except when we hunt。 We fear discovery。 We fear fire。〃 I nodded。
〃What do you seek other than blood？〃
A miserable expression passed over his face。 He was in pain。 He tried to hide it。 Or perhaps he tried to make the pain go away。
〃I'm not sure that we seek anything；〃 he said。 〃We don't know how。〃
〃Do you want to stay with me；〃 I asked； 〃and learn？ 〃 I felt the boldness； the presumptuousness of this question； but the words had already been said。
〃I can show you the Temples of Rome； I can show you the big palaces； the houses that make this villa appear quite humble indeed。 I can show you how to play the shadows so that mortals never see you； how to climb walls swiftly and silently； how to walk the roofs at night all over the city； never touching the ground。〃 Avicus was amazed。 He looked to Mael。 Mael sat slumped； saying nothing。 Then he pulled himself up。 In a weak voice he continued his condemnation。 〃I would have been stronger if you hadn't told me all those marvelous things；〃 he said； 〃and now you ask if we want to enjoy the same pleasures； the pleasures of a Roman。〃
〃It's what I have to offer；〃 I said。 〃Do what you wish。〃
Mael shook his head。 He began to speak again； for the benefit of whom I don't know。
〃When it was plain that you wouldn't return；〃 he said； 〃they chose me。 I was to bee the god。 But for this to happen we had to find a God of the Grove who had not been burnt to death by the Terrible Fire。 After all； we had destroyed our own gentle god foolishly！ A creature who had had the magic to make you。〃
I gestured as if to say； It was indeed a shame。
〃We sent word far and wide；〃 he said。 〃At last an answer came from Britain。 A god survived there； a god who was most ancient and most strong。〃
I looked to Avicus； but there was no change in his expression。
〃However we were warned not to go to him。 We were told that it was perhaps not something we should do。 We were confused by these messages； and at last we set out for we felt that we must try。〃
〃And how did you feel；〃 I asked cruelly； 〃now that you had been chosen； and you knew that you would be shut up in the oak； never to see the sun again； and only to drink blood during the great feasts and during the full moon？〃
He looked straight ahead as if he couldn't give me a decent answer to this； and then he replied。
〃You had corrupted me as I told you。〃
〃Ah；〃 I said； 〃so you were afraid。 The Faithful of the Forest couldn't fort you。 And I was to blame。〃
〃Not afraid；〃 he said furiously； clenching his teeth。 〃Corrupted as I said。〃 He flashed his small deep…set eyes on me。 〃Do you know what it means to believe absolutely nothing； to have no god； no truth！〃
〃Yes； of course I know；〃 I answered。 〃I believe nothing。 I consider it wise。 I believed nothing when I was mortal。 I believe nothing now。〃
I think I saw Avicus flinch。
I might have said more brutal things； but I saw that Mael meant to go on。
Staring forward in the same manner he told his tale： 〃We made our journey；〃 he said。 〃We crossed the narrow sea to Britain and went North to a land of green woods and there we came upon a band of priests who sang our hymns and knew our poetry and our law。 They were Druids as we were Druids； they were the Faithful of the Forest as were we。 We fell into each other's arms。〃
Avicus was watching Mael keenly。 My eyes were more patient and cold； I was sure。 Nevertheless the simple narrative drew me； I have to confess。
〃I went into the grove；〃 said Mael。 〃How huge the trees were。 How ancient。 Any one of them might have been the Great Tree。 At last I was led to it。 And I saw the door with its many iron locks。 I knew the god was inside。〃
Suddenly Mael glanced anxiously to Avicus； but Avicus gestured for him to go on。
〃Tell Marius；〃 he said gently； 〃and in telling Marius； you tell me。〃 It had such a soft sound to it； this utterance。 I felt a shiver on the surface of my skin； my lonely and perfect skin。
〃But these priests；〃 said Mael； 〃they warned me。 'M
