anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第78部分
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〃We are murderers together； my lord；〃 she said； 〃Yes； I can speak for myself as you demanded。 But understand that I am given the missions by those who would as easily send me to Hell in the same way。 It is they who mix the potions for the fatal wine。 It is they who mark those who would receive it。 And I know not the reasons。 I know only that if I do not obey； I shall die。〃
〃Then tell me who they are； my exquisite darling；〃 I said。 〃I am hungry for them。 So hungry you can't dream。〃
〃They are my kinsmen； sir；〃 she said。 〃Such has been my heritage。 Such has been my family。 Such have been my guardians here。〃
She had begun to weep but she clung to me； as though my strength were the only truth for her suddenly and indeed I realized it was。
My threats of moments ago had only bound her to me all the more firmly； and Amadeo drew close； urging me to kill all those who kept her under their power； all those who made her wretched； whatever the ties of blood。
I held her as she bowed her head。 From her mind； so often confusing to me； I read the names as though they were written in plain script。
I knew the men； all Florentines who had e often to call on her。 Tonight they held a feast in a neighboring house。 They were moneylenders； some might have called them bankers； but those they murdered were those from whom they had borrowed and did not wish to repay。
〃You shall be rid of them； my beauty；〃 I said to her。 I touched her lightly with my lips。
She turned to me； and gave me countless and violent small kisses。
〃And what shall I owe for this？ 〃 she asked； even as she kissed me； even as her hands reached to stroke my hair。
〃Only that you say nothing of what you saw in me tonight。〃
She gazed at me with her tranquil oval eyes； and her mind closed up； as though she would never reveal to me her thoughts again。
〃You have my pledge； my lord；〃 she whispered。 〃And so my soul grows ever more heavy。〃
〃No； I shall take the weight from it；〃 I said； as we made to go。
How sad seemed her sudden tears。 I kissed her； tasting them； wishing they were blood and forever forswearing the blood within her。
〃Don't weep for those who have used you；〃 I whispered。 〃Go back to the gaiety and the music。 Leave the dark missions to me。〃
We found the Florentines drunk at their banquet； paying us no heed as we entered without introduction or explanation and took our places at the overladen table。 A noisy band of musicians played。 The floor was slippery with spilt wine。
Amadeo was eager for it； filled with excitement； attentive to my slow and methodical seduction of each one of them； as I drank the blood lustily； and let the bodies tip forward upon the groaning board。 The musicians fled。
Within an hour I had skin them all； these kinsmen of Bianca； and only for the very last of them； he who had talked the longest with me； quite unawares of what was happening all about him…only for him did Amadeo beg and weep。 Was I to show this one mercy when his heart was as guilty as all the rest？
We sat alone in the ruined supper room； the dead bodies around us； the food cold upon its silver and gold plates and platters； the wine running from overturned goblets； and for the first time； as Amadeo cried and cried； I saw dread in his eyes。
I looked at my hands。 I had drunk so much blood that they looked human and I knew that were I to look into a mirror； I would see a florid human face。
The heat in me was delicious and unendurable； and I wanted nothing more than to take Amadeo； bring him over to me now； and yet there he sat before me； the tears streaming down his face。
〃They are all gone；〃 I said； 〃those who tormented Bianca。 You e with me。 Let's leave this gory scene。 I would walk with you； before the sun rises； near the sea。〃
He followed me as a child might； the tears staining his face as they ran still from his eyes。
〃Wipe your tears；〃 I said firmly。 〃We're going out into the piazza。 It's almost dawn。〃
He slipped his hand into mine as we went down the stone stairs。
I put my arm around him； sheltering him from the sharp wind。
〃Master；〃 he pleaded； 〃they were evil men； weren't they？ You were certain of it。 You knew it。〃
〃All of them；〃 I answered。 〃But sometimes men and women are both good and evil；〃 I continued； 〃and who am I to choose for my vicious appetite； yet I do。 Is Bianca not both good and evil？〃
〃Master；〃 he asked； 〃if I drink the blood of those who are evil； will I bee like you？〃
We stood before the closed doors of San Marco。 The wind came mercilessly off the sea。 I drew my cloak about him all the more tightly； and he rested his head against my chest。
〃No； child；〃 I said； 〃there's infinitely more magic in it than that。〃
〃You must give me your blood； isn't that so； Master？〃 he asked as he looked up at me； the tears clear and glistening in the cold air； his hair mussed。
I didn't answer。
〃Master；〃 he said； as I held him close to me； 〃long years ago； or so they seem to me； in some far…away place； where I lived before I came to you； I was what they called a Fool for God。 I don't remember it clearly and never will as both of us well know。
〃But a Fool for God was a man who gave himself over to God pletely and did not care what happened； whether it was mockery； or starvation； or endless laughter； or dreadful cold。 That much I remember； that I was a Fool for God in those times。〃
〃But you painted pictures； Amadeo； you painted beautiful ikons…。〃
〃But listen to me； Master；〃 he said firmly； forcing me to silence； 〃whatever I did； I was a Fool for God； and now I would be a Fool for you。〃 He paused； snuggling close to me as the wind grew stronger。 The mists moved in over the stones。 There came noises from the ships。
I started to speak but he reached to stop me。 How obdurate and strong he seemed； how seductive； how pletely mine。
〃Master；〃 he went on。 〃Do it when you will。 You have my secrecy。 You have my patience。 Do it when and how you will〃
I thought on what he'd said。
〃Go home； Amadeo；〃 I answered him。 〃You know the sun is ing； and I must leave you with the arrival of the sun。〃
He nodded； puzzling over it； as though for the very first time it mattered to him； though how he couldn't have thought of it before I didn't know。
〃Go home； and study with the others； talk with them； and shepherd the little ones at their play。 If you can do that…go from the bloody banquet room to the laughter of children…then when 1 e tonight； I shall do it。 I shall bring you over to myself。〃
I watched him walk away from me in the mist。 He went towards the canal where he would find the gondola to take him back to our door。
〃A Fool for God；〃 I whispered aloud so that my mind might hear it； 〃yes； a Fool for God； and in some miserable monastery you painted the sacred pictures； convinced your life would mean nothing unless it was a life of sacrifice and pain。 And now； in my magic you see some similar burning purity。 And you turn away from all the riches of life in Venice for that burning purity； you turn away from all that a human may have。〃
But was it so？ Did he know enough to make such a decision？ Could he forsake the sun forever？
I had no answer。 It was not his decision that mattered now。 For I had made mine。
As for my radiant Bianca； her thoughts were forever after closed to me； as though she knew the knack of it like a wily witch。 As for her devotion； her love； her friendship； that was something else。
21
Now； WHERE I SLEPT in the daylight hours in Venice； was in a beautiful granite sarcophagus in a hidden chamber just above the level of the water in an uninhabited palazzo which belonged to me。
The room itself was lined with gold； a quite marvelous little cell； replete with torches； and a stairway led up from this chamber to a door which only I could force back。
On ing out of the palazzo one had to walk down a flight of steps to the canal…that is； if one were walking at all； which I； of course； was not。
Some long months ago I had arranged for the creation of another sarcophagus of the same beauty and weight； so that two blood dr
