brideshead+revisited-第17部分

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　Do　you　hope　for　a　legacy？'
　　　　'I　told　you；　he　is　a　great　friend。'
　　　　'Well；　Orme…Herrick　is　a　great　friend　of　mine；　but　I　should　not　go　tearing　off　to　his　deathbed　on　a　warm　Sunday　afternoon。　I　should　doubt　whether　Lady　Orme…Herrick　would　wele　me。　However；　I　see　you　have　no　such　doubts。　I　shall　miss　you；　my　dear　boy；　but　do　not　hurry　back　on　my　account。'
　　　　Paddington　Station　on　that　August　Sunday　evening；　with　the　sun　streaming　through　the　obscure　panes　of　its　roof；　the　bookstalls　shut；　and　the　few　passengers　strolling　unhurried　beside　their　porters；　would　have　soothed　a　mind　less　agitated　than　mine。　The　train　was　nearly　empty。　I　had　my　suitcase　put　in　the　corner　of　a　third…class　carriage　and　took　a　seat　in　the　dining…car。　'First　dinner　after　Reading；　sir；　about　seven　o'clock。　Can　I　get　you　anything　now？'　I　ordered　gin　and　vermouth；　it　was　brought　to　me　as　we　pulled　out　of　the　station。　The　knives　and　forks　set　up　their　regular　jingle；　the　bright　landscape　rolled　past　the　windows。　But　I　had　no　mind　for　these　smooth　things；　instead；　fear　worked　like　yeast　in　my　thoughts；　and　the　fermentation　brought　to　the　surface；　in　great　gobs　of　scum；　the　images　of　disaster；　a　loaded　gun　held　carelessly　at　a　stile；　a　horse　rearing　and　rolling　over；　a　shaded　pool　with　a　submerged；　stake；　an　elm　bough　falling　suddenly　on　a　still　morning；　a　car　at　a　blind　corner；　all　the　catalogue　of　threats　to　civilized　life　rose　and　haunted　me；　I　even　pictured　a　homicidal　maniac　mouthing　in　the　shadows；　swinging　a　length　of　lead　pipe。　The　cornfields　and　heavy　woodland　sped　past；　deep　in　the　golden　evening；　and　the　throb　of　the　wheels　repeated　　monotonously　in　my　ears。　'You've　e　too　late。　You've　e　too　late。　He's　dead。　He's　dead。　He's　dead。'
　　　　I　dined　and　changed　trains　to　the　local　line；　and　in　twilight　came　to　Melstead　Carbury；　which　was　my　destination。
　　　　'Brideshead；　sir？　Yes；　Lady　Julia's　in　the　yard。'
　　　　She　was　sitting　at　the　wheel　of　an　open　car。　I　recognized　her　at　once；　I　could　not　have　failed　to　do　so。
　　　　'You're　Mr　Ryder？　Jump　in。'　Her　voice　was　Sebastian's　and　his　her；　way　of　speaking。
　　　　'How　is　he？'
　　　　'Sebastian？　Oh；　he's　fine。　Have　you　had　dinner？　Well；　I　expect　it　was　beastly。　There's　some　more　at　home。　Sebastian　and　I　are　alone；　so　we　thought　we'd　wait　for　you。'
　　　　'What's　happened　to　him？'
　　　　'Didn't　he　say？　I　expect　he　thought　you　wouldn't　e　if　you　knew。　He's　cracked　a　bone　in　his　ankle　so　small　that　it　hasn't　a　name。　But　they　X…rayed　it　yesterday；　and　told　him　to　keep　it　up　for　a　month。　It's　a　great　bore　to　him；　putting　out　all　his　plans；　he's　been　making　the　most　enormous　fuss。。。Everyone　else　has　gone。　He　tried　to　make　me　stay　back　with　him。　Well；　I　expect　you　know　how　maddeningly　pathetic　he　can　be。　I　almost　gave　in；　and　then　I　said：　〃Surely　there　must　be　someone　you　can　get　hold　of；〃　and　he　said　everybody　was　away　or　busy　and；　anyway；　no　one　else　would　do。　But　at　last　he　agreed　to　try　you；　and　I　promised　I'd　stay　if　you　failed　him；　so　you　can　imagine　how　popular　you　are　with　me。　I　must　say　it's　noble　of　you　to　e　all　this　way　at　a　moment's　notice。'　But　as　she　said　it；　I　heard；　or　thought　I　heard；　a　tiny　note　of　contempt　in　her　voice　that　I　should　be　so　readily　available。
　　　　'How　　did　he　do　it？'
　　　　'Believe　it　or　not；　playing　croquet。　He　lost　his　temper　and　tripped　over　a　hoop。　Not　a　very　honourable　scar。'
　　　　She　so　much　resembled　Sebastian　that；　sitting　beside　her　in　the　gathering　dusk；　I　was　confused　by　the　double　illusion　of　familiarity　and　strangeness。　Thus；　looking　through　strong　lenses；　one　may　watch　a　man　approaching　from　afar；　study　every　detail　of　his　face　and　clothes；　believe　one　has　only　to　put　out　a　hand　to　touch　him　marvel　that　he　does　not　hear　one　and　look　up　as　one　moves；　and　then；　seeing　him　with　the　naked　eye；　suddenly　remember　that　one　is　to　him　a　distant　speck；　doubtfully　human。　I　knew　her　and　she　did　not　know　me。　Her　dark　hair　was　scarcely　longer　than　Sebastian's；　and　it　blew　back　from　her　forehead　as　his　did；　her　eyes　on　the　darkling　road　were　his；　but　larger；　her　painted　mouth　was　less　friendly　to　the　world。　She　wore　a　bangle　of　charms　on　her　wrist　and　in　her　ears　little　gold　rings。　Her　light　coat　revealed　an　inch　or　two　of　flowered　silk；　skirts　were　short　in　those　days；　and　her　legs；　stretched　forward　to　the　controls　of　the　car；　were　spindly；　as　was　also　the　fashion。　Because　her　sex　was　the　palpable　difference　between　the　familiar　and　the　strange　it　seemed　to　fill　the　space　between　us；　so　that　I　felt　her　to　be　especially　female；　as　I　had　felt　of　no　woman　before。
　　　　'I'm　terrified　of　driving　at　this　time　of　the　evening；'　she　said。　'There　doesn't　seem　anyone　left　at　home　who　can　drive　a　car。　Sebastian　and　I　are　practically　camping　out　here。　I　hope　you　haven't　e　expecting　a　pompous　party。'　She　leaned　forward　to　the　locker　for　a　box　of　cigarettes。
　　　　'No　thanks。'
　　　　'Light　one　for　me；　will　you？'
　　　　It　was；　the　first　time　in　my　life　that　anyone　had　asked　this　of　me；　and　as　I　took　the　cigarette　from　my　lips　and　put　it　in　hers；　I　caught　a　thin　bat's　squeak　of　sexuality；　inaudible　to　any　but　me。
　　　　'Thanks。　You've　been　here　before。　Nanny　reported　it。　We　both　thought　it　very　odd　of　you　not　to　stay　to　tea　with　me。'
　　　　'That　was　Sebastian。'
　　　　'You　seem　to　let　him　boss　you　about　a　good　deal。　You　shouldn't。　It's　very　bad　for　him。'
　　　　We　had　turned　the　er　of　the　drive　now；　the　colour　had　died　in　the　woods；　and　sky；。and　the　house　seemed　painted　in　grisaille；　save　for　the　central　golden　square　at　the　open　doors。　A　man　was　waiting　to　take　my　luggage。
　　　　'Here　we　are。'
　　　　She　led　me　up　the　steps　and　into　the　hall；　flung　her　coat　on　a　marble　table；　and　stooped　to　fondle　a　dog　which　came　to　greet　her。　'I　wouldn't　put　it　past　Sebastian　to　have　started　dinner。'
　　　　At　that　moment　he　appeared　between　the　pillars　at　the　further　end；　propelling　himself　in　a　wheel…chair。　He　was　in　pyjamas　and　dressing…gown；　with　one　foot　heavily　bandaged。
　　　　'Well；　darling；　I　have　collected　your　chum；'　she　said；　again　with　a　barely　perceptible　note　of　contempt。
　　　　'I　thought　you　were　dying；'　I　said；　conscious　then；　as　I　had　been　ever　since　I　arrived；　of　the　predominating　emotion　of　vexation；　rather　than　of　relief；　that　I　had　been　bilked　of　my　expectations　of　a　grand　tragedy。
　　　　'I　thought　I　was；　too。　The　pain　was　excruciating。　Julia；　do　you　think；　if　you　asked　him；　Wilcox　would　give　us　champagne　tonight？'
　　　　'I　hate　champagne　and　Mr　Ryder　has　had　dinner。'
　　　　'Mister　Ryder？　Mister　Ryder？　Charles　drinks　champagne　at　all　hours。　Do　you　know；　seeing　this　great　swaddled　foot　of　mine；　I　can't　get　it　out　of　my　mind　that　I　have　gout；　and　that　gives　me　a　craving　for　champagne。'
　　　　We　dined　in　a　room　they　called　'the　Painted　Parlour'。　It　was　a　spacious　octagon；　later　in　design　than　the　rest　of　the　house　its　walls；　were　adorned　with　wreathed　medallions　and　across　its　dome　prim　Pompeian　figures　stood　pastoral　groups。　They　and　the　satin…wood　and　ormolu　furniture；　the　carpet；　the　hanging　bronze　candelabrum；　the　mirrors　and　sconces；　were　all　a　single　position；　the　design　of　one　illustrious　hand。　'We　usually　eat　here　when　we're　alone；'　said　Sebastian；　'it's　so　cosy。'
　　　　While　they　dined　I　ate　a　peach　and　told　them　of　the　war　with　my　father。
　　　　'He　sounds　a　perfect　poppet；'　said　Julia。　'And　now　I'm　going　to　leave　you　boys。'
　　　　'Where　are　you　off　to？'
　　　　'The　nursery。　I　promised　nanny　a　last　game　of　halma。'　She　kissed　the　top　of　Sebastian's　head。　I　opened　the　door　for　her。　'Good　Night；　Mr　Ryder；　and　good…bye。　I　don't　suppose　we'll　meet　tomorrow。　I'm　leaving　early。　I　can't　tell　you　how　grateful　I　am　to　you　for　relieving　me　at　the　sick…bed。'
　　　　'My　sister　is　very　pompous　tonight；'　said　Sebastian；　when　she　was　gone。
　　　　'I　don't　think　she　cares　for　me；'　I　said。
　　　　'I　don't　think　she　cares　for　anyone　much。　I　love　her。　She's　so　like　me。'
　　　　'Do　you？　Is　she？'
　　　　'In　looks　I　mean　and　the　way　she　talks。　I　wouldn't　love　anyone　with　a　character　like　mine。'
　　　　When　we　had　drunk　our　port；　I　walked　beside　Sebastian's　chair　through　the　pillared　hall　to　the　library；　where　we　sat　that　night　and　nearly　every　night　of　the　ensuing　month。　It　lay　on　the　side　of　the　house　that　overlooked　the　lakes；　the　windows　were　open　to　t