brideshead+revisited-第74部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


the　name　they　had　for　it　in　the　nursery　and　in　the　fields　when　unlettered　men　had　long　memories。　You　can　see　where　the　old　house　stood　near　the　village　church；　they　call　the　field　〃Castle　Hill〃；　Horlick's　field　where　the　ground's　uneven　and　half　of　it　is　waste；　nettle；　and　brier　in　hollows　too　deep　for　ploughing。　They　dug　to　the　foundations　to　carry　the　stone　for　the　new　house；　the　house　that　was　a　century　old　when　Aunt　Julia　was　born。　Those　were　our　roots　in　the　waste　hollows　of　Castle　Hill；　in　the　brier　and　nettle；　among　the　tombs　in　the　old　church　and　the　chantry　where　no　clerk　sings。
　　　　'Aunt　Julia　knew　the　tombs；　cross…legged　knight　and　doubleted　earl；　marquis　like　a　Roman　senator；　limestone；　alabaster；　and　Italian　marble；　tapped　the　escutcheons　with　her　ebony　cane；　made　the　casque　ring　over　old　Sir　Roger。　We　were　knights　then；　barons　since　Agincourt；　the　larger　honours　came　with　the　Georges。　They　came　the　last　and　they'll　go　the　first；　the　barony　goes　on。　When　all　of　you　are　dead　Julia's　son　will　be　called　by　the　name　his　fathers　bore　before　the　fat　days；　the　days　of　wool　shearing　and　the　wide　corn　lands；　the　days　of　growth　and　building；　when　the　marshes　were　drained　and　the　waste　land　brought　under　the　plough；　when　one　built　the　house；　his　son　added　the　dome；　his　son　spread　the　wings　and　dammed　the　river。　Aunt　Julia　watched　them　build　the　fountain；　it　was　old　before　it　came　here；　weathered　two　hundred　years　by　the　suns　of　Naples；　brought　by　man…o'…war　in　the　days　of　Nelson。　Soon　the　fountain　will　be　dry　till　the　rain　fills　it；　setting　the　fallen　leaves　afloat　in　the　basin；　and　over　the　lakes　the　reeds　will　spread　and　close。　Better　today。
　　　　'Better　today。　I　have　lived　carefully；　sheltered　myself　from　the　cold　winds；　eaten　moderately　of　what　was　in　season；　drunk　fine　claret；　slept　in　my　own　sheets；　I　shall　live　long。　I　was　fifty　when　they　dismounted　us　and　sent　us　into　the　line；　old　men　stay　at　the　base；　the　orders　said；　but　Walter　Venables；　my　manding　officer；　my　nearest　neighbour；　said：　〃You're　as　fit　as　the　youngest　of　them；　Alex。〃　So　I　was；　so　I　am　now；　if　I　could　only　breathe。
　　　　'No　air；　no　wind　stirring　under　the　velvet　canopy。　When　the　summer　es；'　said　Lord　Marchmain；　oblivious　of　the　deep　corn　and　swelling　fruit　and　the　surfeited　bees　who　slowly　sought　their　hives　in　the　heavy　afternoon　sunlight　outside　his　windows；　'when　the　summer　es　I　shall　leave　my　bed　and　sit　in　the　open　air　and　breathe　more　easily。
　　　　'Who　would　have　thought　that　all　these　little　gold　men；　gentlemen　in　their　own　country；　could　live　so　long　without　breathing？　Like　to　toads　in　the　coal；　down　a　deep　mine；　untroubled。　God　take　it；　why　have　they　dug　a　hole　for　me？　Must　a　man　stifle　to　death　in　his　own　cellars？　Plender；　Gaston；　open　the　windows。'
　　　　'The　windows　are　all　wide　open；　my　lord。'
　　　　A　cylinder　of　oxygen　was　placed　beside　his　bed；　with　a　long　tube；　a　face…piece；　and　a　little　stop…cock　he　could　work　himself。　Often　he　said：　'It's　empty…　look　nurse；　there's　nothing　es　out。'
　　　　'No；　Lord　Marchmain；　it's　quite　full；　the　bubble　here　in　the　glass　bulb　shows　that；　it's　at　full　pressure；　listen；　don't　you　hear　it　hiss？　Try　and　breathe　slowly；　Lord　Marchmain；　quite　gently；　then　you　get　the　benefit。'
　　　　'Free　as　air；　that's　what　they　say　…　〃free　as　air〃。　Now　they　bring　me　my　air　in　an　iron　barrel。'
　　　　Once　he　said：　'Cordelia；　what　became　of　the　chapel？'
　　　　'They　locked　it　up；　papa；　when　mummy　died。'
　　　　'It　was　hers；　I　gave　it　to　her。　We've　always　been　builders　in　our　family。　I　built　it　for　her；　in　the　shade　of　the　pavilion；　rebuilt　with　the　old　stones　behind　the　old　walls；　it　was　the　last　of　the　new　house　to　e；　the　first　to　go。　There　used　to　be　a　chaplain　until　the　war。　Do　you　remember　him？'
　　　　'I　was　too　young。'
　　　　'Then　I　went　away　…　left　her　in　the　chapel　praying。　It　was　hers。　It　was　the　place　for　her。　I　never　came　back　to　disturb　her　prayers。　They　said　we　were　fighting　for　freedom；　I　had　my　own　victory。　Was　it　a　crime？'
　　　　'I　think　it　was；　papa。'
　　　　'Crying　to　heaven　for　vengeance？　Is　that　why　they've　locked　me　in　this　cave；　do　you　think；　with　a　black　tube　of　air　and　the　little　yellow　men　along　the　walls；　who　live　without　breathing？　Do　you　think　that；　child？　But　the　wind　will　e　soon；　tomorrow　perhaps；　and　we'll　breathe　again。　The　ill　wind　that　will　blow　me　good。　Better　tomorrow。'
　　　　Thus；　till　mid…July；　Lord　Marchmain　lay　dying；　wearing　himself　down　in　the　struggle　to…live。　Then；　since　there　was　no　reason　to　expect　an　immediate　change；　Cordelia　went　to　London　to　see　her　women　s　organization　about　the　ing　'emergency'。　That　day　Lord　Marchmain　became　suddenly　worse。　He　lay　silent　and　quite　still；　breathing　laboriously；　only　his　open　eyes；　which　sometimes　moved　about　the　room；　gave　any　sign　of　consciousness。
　　　　'Is　this　the　end？'　Julia　asked。
　　　　'It　is　impossible　to　say；'　the　doctor　answered；　'when　he　does　die　it　will　probably　be　like　this。　He　may　recover　from　the　present　attack。　The　only　thing　is　not　to　disturb　him。　The　least　shock　will　be　fatal。'
　　　　'I'm　going　for　Father　Mackay；'　she　said。
　　　　I　was　not　surprised。　I　had　seen　it　in　her　mind　all　the　summer。　When　she　had　gone　I　said　to　the　doctor；　'We　must　stop　this　nonsense。'
　　　　He　said：　'My　business　is　with　the　body。　It's　not　my　business　to　argue　whether　people　are　better　alive　or　dead；　or　what　happens　to　them　after　death。　I　only　try　to　keep　them　alive。'
　　　　'And　you　said　just　now　any　shock　would　kill　him。　What　could　be　worse　for　a　man　who　fears　death；　as　he　does；　than　to　have　a　priest　brought　to　him　…　a　priest　he　turned　out　when　he　had　the　strength？'
　　　　'I　think　it　may　kill　him。'
　　　　'Then　will　you　forbid　it？'
　　　　'I've　no　authority　to　forbid　anything。　I　can　only　give　my　opinion。'
　　　　'Cara；　what　do　you　think？'
　　　　'I　don't　want　him　made　unhappy。　That　is　all　there　is　to　hope　for　now；　that　he'll　die　without　knowing　it。　But　I　should　like　the　priest　there；　all　the　same。'
　　　　'Will　you　try　and　persuade　Julia　to　keep　him　away　…　until　the　end？　After　that　he　can　do　no　harm。'
　　　　'I　will　ask　her　to　leave　Alex　happy；　yes。'
　　　　In　half　an　hour　Julia　was　back　with　Father　Mackay。　We　all　met　in　the　library。
　　　　'I've　telegraphed　for　Bridey　and　Cordelia；'　I　said。　'I　hope　you　agree　that　nothing　must　be　done　till　they　arrive。'
　　　　'I　wish　they　were　here；　'　said　Julia。
　　　　'You　can't　take　the　responsibility　alone；'　I　said；　'everyone　else　is　against　you。　Doctor　Grant；　tell　her　what　you　said　to　me　just　now。'
　　　　'I　said　that　the　shock　of　seeing　a　priest　might　well　kill　him；　without　that　he　may　survive　this　attack。　As　his　medical　man　I　must　protest　against　anything　being　done　to　disturb　him。'
　　　　'Cara？'
　　　　'Julia；　dear；　I　know　you　are　thinking　for　the　best；　but；　you　know；　Alex　was　not　a　religious　man。　He　scoffed　always。　We　mustn't　take　advantage　of　him；　now　he's　weak；　to　fort　our　own　consciences。　If　Father　Mackay　es　to　him　when　he　is　unconscious；　then　he　can　be　buried　in　the　proper　way；　can　he　not；　Father？'
　　　　'I'll　go　and　see　how　he　is；　'　said　the　doctor；　leaving　us。
　　　　'Father　Mackay；'　I　said。　'You　know　how　Lord　Marchmain　greeted　you　last　time　you　came；　do　you　think　it　possible　he　can　have　changed　now？'
　　　　'Thank　God；　by　his　grace　it　is　possible。'
　　　　'Perhaps；'　said　Cara；　'you　could　slip　in　while　he　is　sleeping；　say　the　words　of　absolution　over　him；　he　would　never　know。'
　　　　'I　have　seen　so　many　men　and　women　die；'　said　the　priest；　'I　never　knew　them　sorry　to　have　me　there　at　the　end。'
　　　　'But　they　were　Catholics；　Lord　Marchmain　has　never　been　one　except　in　name　…　at　any　rate；　not　for　years。　He　was　a　scoffer；　Cara　said　so。'
　　　　'Christ　came　to　call；　not　the　righteous；　but　sinners　to　repentance。'
　　　　The　doctor　returned。　'There's　no　change；'　he　said。
　　　　'Now　doctor；'　said　the　priest；　'how　would　I　be　a　shock　to　anyone？'　He　turned　his　bland；　innocent；　matter…of…fact　face　first　on　the　doctor；　then　upon　the　rest　of　us。　'Do　you　know　what　I　want　to　do？　It　is　something　so　small；　no　show　about　it。　I　don't　wear　special　clothes；　you　know。　I　go　just　as　I　am。　He　knows　the　look　of　me　now。　There's　nothing　alarming。　I　just　want　to　ask　him　if　he　is　sorry　for　his　sins。　I　want　him　to　make　some　little　sign　of　assent；　I　want　him；　anyway；　not　to　refuse　me；　then　I　want