ah.thefinaldiagnosis-第61部分

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　〃Yes。〃　She　nodded　gravely。
　〃I'm　forty…two；〃　he　said。　〃In　that　time；　living　alone；　one　forms　habits　and　patterns　of　life　that　might　be　hard　to　change　or　for　someone　else　to　accept。〃　He　paused。　〃What　I'm　trying　to　say；　I　suppose；　is　that　I　might　be　difficult　to　live　with。〃
　Denise　reached　out　and　covered　his　hand　with　her　own。　〃Kent；　darling；　may　I　be　clear　about　something？〃　She　had　the　slightest　of　smiles。　〃Is　this　by　any　chance　a　proposal　of　marriage？〃
　O'Donnell　was　grinning　broadly；　he　felt　absurdly；　exuberantly；　boyish。　〃Now　that　you　mention　it；〃　he　said；　〃I　rather　think　it　is。〃
　There　was　a　moment's　silence　before　Denise　answered；　and　when　she　spoke　he　sensed　that　she　was　maneuvering　for　time。　〃I'm　very　flattered；　but　aren't　you　being　a　little　rash？　After　all；　we　scarcely　know　one　another。〃
　〃I　love　you；　Denise；〃　he　said　simply。
　He　felt　her　regarding　him　searchingly。　〃I　could　love　you　too；〃　she　said。　Then　she　added；　speaking　slowly　and　choosing　her　words；　〃At　this　moment　everything　in　me　tells　me　to　say　yes　and　to　grab　you；　dearest；　with　two　eager　hands。　But　there's　a　whisper　of　caution。　When　you've　made　one　mistake　you　feel　the　need　to　be　careful　about　mitting　yourself　again。〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃I　can　understand　that。〃
　〃I've　never　fallen　in；〃　she　said；　〃with　the　popular　idea　that　one　can　shed　partners　quickly　and　afterward　get　over　it；　rather　like　taking　an　indigestion　tablet。　That's　one　of　the　reasons；　I　suppose；　why　I've　never　got　a　divorce。〃
　〃The　divorce　wouldn't　be　difficult？〃
　〃Not　really。　I　imagine　I　could　go　to　Nevada　to　arrange　it；　or　some　such　place。　But　there's　the　other　thing…you're　in　Burlington；　I'm　in　New　York。〃
　He　said　carefully；　〃You　really　meant　what　you　said；　Denise…about　not　living　in　Burlington？〃
　She　thought　before　answering。　〃Yes。　I'm　afraid　I　do。　I　couldn't　live　there…ever。　There's　no　use　pretending；　Kent；　I　know　myself　too　well。〃
　A　waiter　appeared　with　coffee　and　replenished　then：　cups。　O'Donnell　said；　〃I　feel　a　sudden　pulsion　for　the　two　of　us　to　be　alone。〃
　Denise　said　softly；　〃Why　don't　we　go？〃
　He　called　for　the　check　and　paid　it；　helping　Denise　on　with　her　wrap。　Outside　a　doorman　summoned　a　cab　and　O'Donnell　gave　the　address　of　the　Fifth　Avenue　apartment。　When　they　had　settled　back；　Denise　said；　〃This　is　a　very　selfish　question；　but　have　you　ever　considered　moving　your　practice　to　New　York？〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　answered；　〃I'm　thinking　about　it　now。〃
　He　was　still　thinking　when　they　entered　the　apartment　block　and　rode　up　in　the　elevator。　Ever　since　Denise's　question　he　had　been　asking　himself：　Why　shouldn't　I　go　to　New　York？　There　are　fine　hospitals；　this　is　a　medical　city。　It　would　not　be　difficult　to　get　on　staff　somewhere。　Setting　up　practice　would　be　paratively　easy；　his　own　record；　as　well　as　the　friends　he　had　in　New　York；　would　bring　him　referrals。　He　reasoned：　What　really　keeps　me　tied　to　Burlington？　Does　my　life　belong　there…now　and　for　always？　Isn't　it　time；　perhaps；　for　a　change；　a　new　environment？　I'm　not　married　to　Three　Counties　Hospital；　nor　am　I　indispensable。　There　are　things　I'd　miss；　it's　true；　the　sense　of　building　and　creation；　and　the　people　I've　worked　with。　But　I've　acplished　a　great　deal；　no　one　can　ever　deny　that。　And　New　York　means　Denise。　Wouldn't　it　be　worth　it…all？
　At　the　twentieth　floor　Denise　used　her　own　key　to　let　them　in；　there　was　no　sign　of　the　manservant　O'Donnell　had　seen　earlier。
　As　if　by　consent　they　moved　to　the　terrace。　Denise　asked；　〃Kent；　would　you　like　a　drink？〃
　〃Perhaps　later；〃　he　said；　and　reached　out　toward　her。　She　came　to　him　easily　and　their　lips　met。　It　was　a　lingering　kiss。　His　arms　tightened　around　her　and　he　felt　her　body　respond　to　his　own。　Then　gently　she　disengaged　herself。
　Half　turned　away；　she　said；　〃There　are　so　many　things　to　think　of。〃　Her　voice　was　troubled。
　〃Are　there？〃　The　tone　of　voice　was　disbelieving。
　〃There's　a　great　deal　you　don't　know　about　me；〃　Denise　said。　〃For　one　thing；　I'm　terribly　possessive。　Did　you　know　that？〃
　He　answered；　〃It　doesn't　sound　very　terrible。〃
　〃If　we　were　married；〃　she　said；　〃I'd　have　to　have　all　of　you；　not　just　a　part。　I　couldn't　help　myself。　And　I　couldn't　share　you…not　even　with　a　hospital。〃
　He　laughed。　〃I　imagine　we　could　work　out　a　promise。　Other　people　do。〃
　She　turned　back　toward　him。　〃When　you　say　it　like　that　I　almost　believe　you。〃　Denise　paused。　〃Will　you　e　back　to　New　York　again…soon？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃How　soon？〃
　He　answered；　〃Whenever　you　call　me。〃
　As　if　by　instinct；　she　moved　toward　him　and　they　kissed　again；　this　time　with　growing　passion。　Then　there　was　a　sound　behind　them　and　a　shaft　of　light　from　a　door　opening　to　the　living　room。　Denise　pushed　herself　gently　away　and　a　moment　later　a　small　figure　in　pajamas　came　onto　the　terrace。　A　voice　said；　〃I　thought　I　heard　someone　talking。〃
　〃I　imagined　you　were　sleeping；〃　Denise　said。　〃This　is　Dr。　O'Donnell。〃　Then　to　O'Donnell；　〃This　is　my　daughter　Philippa。〃　She　added　affectionately；　〃One　half　of　my　impossible　twins。〃
　The　girl　looked　at　O'Donnell　with　frank　curiosity。　〃Hullo；〃　she　said；　〃I've　heard　about　you。〃
　O'Donnell　remembered　Denise　telling　him　that　both　her　children　were　seventeen。　The　girl　seemed　small　for　her　age；　her　body　only　just　beginning　to　fill　out。　But　she　moved　with　a　grace　and　posture　uncannily　similar　to　her　mother。
　〃Hullo；　Philippa；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　sorry　if　we　disturbed　you。〃
　〃I　couldn't　sleep；　so　I　was　reading。〃　The　girl　glanced　down　at　a　book　in　her　hand。　〃It's　Herrick。　Did　you　ever　read　it？〃
　〃I　don't　think　so；〃　O'Donnell　said。　〃As　a　matter　of　fact；　there　wasn't　much　time　for　poetry　in　medical　school　and　I've　never　really　got　around　to　it　since。〃
　Philippa　picked　up　the　book　and　opened　it。　〃There's　something　here　for　you；　Mother。〃　She　read　attractively　with　a　feeling　for　words　and　balance　and　with　a　touch　of　lightness。
　
　〃That　age　is　best；　which　is　the　first；
　When　youth　and　blood　are　warmer；
　But　being　spent；　the　worse；　and　worst
　Time；　still　succeed　the　former。
　Then　be　not　coy；　but　use　your　time；
　And　while　ye　may；　go　marry：
　For　having　lost　but　once　your　prime；
　You　may　for　ever　tarry。〃
　
　〃I　get　the　point；〃　Denise　said。　She　turned　to　O'Donnell。　〃I　may　tell　you；　Kent；　that　my　children　are　perennially　pressing　me　to　remarry。〃
　〃We　simply　think　it's　the　best　thing　for　you；〃　Philippa　interjected。　She　put　down　the　book。
　〃They　do　it　under　the　guise　of　practicality；〃　Denise　went　on。　〃Actually　they're　both　revoltingly　sentimental。〃　She　turned　to　Philippa。　〃How　would　you　feel　if　I　married　Dr。　O'Donnell？〃
　〃Has　he　asked　you？〃　Philippa's　interest　was　prompt。　Without　waiting　for　an　answer　she　exclaimed；　〃You're　going　to；　of　course。〃
　〃It　will　depend；　dear；〃　Denise　said。　〃There　is；　of　course；　the　trifling　matter　of　a　divorce　to　be　arranged。〃
　〃Oh；　that！　Daddy　was　always　so　unreasonable　about　you　doing　it。　Besides；　why　do　you　have　to　wait？〃　She　faced　O'Donnell。　〃Why　don't　you　just　live　together？　Then　you'd　have　the　evidence　already　arranged　and　Mother　wouldn't　have　to　go　away　to　one　of　those　awful　places　like　Reno。〃
　〃There　are　moments；〃　Denise　said；　〃when　I　have　grave　doubts　about　the　value　of　progressive　education。　That；　I　think；　will　be　all。〃　She　stepped　lightly　to　Philippa。　〃Good　night；　dear。〃
　〃Oh；　Mother！〃　the　girl　said。　〃Sometimes　you're　so　antediluvian。〃
　〃Good　night；　dear。〃　Denise　repeated　it　firmly。
　Philippa　turned　to　O'Donnell。　〃I　guess　I　have　to　go。〃
　He　said；　〃It's　been　a　pleasure；　Philippa。〃
　The　girl　came　to　him。　She　said　artlessly；　〃If　you're　going　to　be　my　stepfather；　I　suppose　it's　all　right　to　kiss　you。〃
　He　answered；　〃Why　don't　we　chance　it？…whichever　way　it　goes。〃
　He　leaned　toward　her　and　she　kissed　him　on　the　lips；　then　stood　back。　There　was　a　slight　smile；　then　she　said；　〃You're　cute。〃　She　warned　Denise；　〃Mother；　whatever　you　do；　don't　lose　this　one。〃
　〃Philippa！〃　This　time　the　note　of　discipline　was　unmistakable。
　Philippa　laughed　and　kissed　her　mother。　Waving　airily；　she　picked　up　her　book　of　poems　and　went　out。
　O'Donnell　leaned　back　against　the　terrace　wall　and　laughed。　At　this　moment　his　bachelorhood　at　Burlington　seemed　incredibly　empty　and　dull；　the　prospect　of　life　with