lh.narcissusinchains-第11部分

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　〃I'm　not　sure　I　can　do　this。〃
　He　sighed。　〃It　is　your　choice。　I　will　not　force　it；　but　I　fear　the　consequences；　ma　petite。　I　do　fear　them。〃
　Marianne　had　given　me　the　lecture；　and　it　was　really　too　late　to　get　cold　feet。　I　could　either　move　forward　with　this；　or　eventually　one　of　us　would　die。　Probably　me。　Part　of　my　job　was　going　up　against　preternatural　monsters　　things　with　enough　magic　to　sense　a　hole　in　my　defenses。　Before　I'd　ever　been　able　to　sense　auras；　or　at　least　before　I　knew　that　I　was　doing　it；　my　aura　had　been　intact。　With　my　own　natural　talent；　that　had　been　enough。　But　lately　I　seemed　to　be　running　up　against　bigger；　badder　monsters。　Eventually；　I　would　lose。　That；　I　might　have　been　able　to　live　with；　sort　of。　But　costing　Jean…Claude　or　Richard　their　lives？　That　I　couldn't　handle。　I　knew　all　the　reasons　I　should　do　this；　and　still　I　stood　there　gazing　up　at　Jean…Claude；　my　heart　beating　in　my　throat；　my　shields　tight　in　place。　The　front　part　of　my　brain　knew　this　needed　doing。　The　back　part　of　my　brain　wasn't　so　sure。
　〃Once　I　drop　my　shield；　then　what？〃
　〃We　touch；〃　he　said。
　I　took　a　deep　breath　in　and　blew　it　out　as　if　I　were　about　to　run　a　race。　Then　I　dropped　my　shields。　It　wasn't　like　tearing　down　the　stone　walls；　it　was　like　absorbing　them　back　into　my　psyche。　The　tower　was　just　suddenly　not　there；　and　Jean…Claude's　power　crashed　over　me。　It　wasn't　only　that　I　felt　the　sexual　attraction　in　full　force；　I　could　feel　his　heartbeat　in　my　head。　I　could　taste　his　skin　in　my　mouth。　I　knew　he'd　fed　tonight；　though　intellectually　I'd　known　that　when　I　heard　his　heart　beating。　Now；　I　could　feel　that　he　was　well　fed　and　full　of　someone　else's　blood。
　His　hand　moved　towards　me；　and　I　flattened　against　the　wall。　The　hand　kept　moving；　and　I　pulled　away　from　it。　I　moved　away　because　more　than　anything　in　the　world　at　that　moment　I　wanted　him　to　touch　me。　I　wanted　to　feel　his　hand　against　my　bare　skin。　I　wanted　to　rip　the　vinyl　from　his　body　and　watch　him；　pale　and　perfect　above　me。　The　image　was　so　clear　that　I　closed　my　eyes　against　it；　as　if　that　would　help。
　I　felt　him　in　front　of　me；　knew　he　was　leaning　close。　I　ducked　under　his　arm　and　was　suddenly　standing　by　the　table；　leaving　him　near　the　wall。　I　kept　backing　up；　and　he　kept　watching　me。　Someone　touched　me；　and　I　screamed。
　Asher　was　holding　my　arm；　gazing　up　at　me　with　those　pale　eyes　of　his。　I　could　feel　him；　too；　feel　the　weight　of　his　age；　the　heft　of　his　power　in　my　head。　That　was　my　power；　but　I　realized　in　shielding　so　strongly　from　Jean…Claude　I'd　also　cut　myself　off　from　some　of　my　own　powers。　Shielding　was　a　tricky　thing。　I　guess　I　still　didn't　have　the　hang　of　it。
　Jean…Claude　moved　away　from　the　wall；　holding　one　slender　hand　out　to　me。　I　backed　up；　Asher's　hand　sliding　over　my　arm　as　I　pulled　away。　I　was　shaking　my　head　back　and　forth；　back　and　forth。
　Jean…Claude　walked　slowly　towards　me。　His　eyes　had　gone　drowning　blue；　the　pupil　swallowed　by　his　own　power。　I　knew　with　a　sudden　clarity　that　it　wasn't　his　power　or　lust　that　had　called　his　eyes；　it　was　mine。　He　could　feel　how　my　body　tightened；　moistened；　as　he　moved　towards　me。　It　wasn't　him　I　didn't　trust。　It　was　me。
　I　took　one　step　backwards　and　fell　on　the　small　step　leading　down　to　the　dance　floor。　Someone　caught　me　before　I　hit　the　floor；　strong　arms　around　my　waist；　pressing　me　against　the　bare　skin　of　a　very　masculine　chest。　I　could　feel　that　without　looking。　I　was　held　effortlessly；　feet　dangling；　and　I　knew　those　arms；　the　feel　of　that　chest；　the　smell　of　his　skin　this　close。　I　craned　my　head　backwards　and　found　myself　staring　at　Richard。
　
　5
　
　I　STOPPED　BREATHING。　To　be　suddenly　inches　away　from　him　after　all　this　time　was　too　much。　He　leaned　that　painfully　handsome　face　over　mine；　and　the　thick　waves　of　his　brown　hair　fell　against　my　skin。　His　mouth　hovered　over　mine；　and　I　think　I　would　have　said；　no；　or　moved；　but　two　things　happened　at　once。　He　tightened　his　one…armed　hold　around　my　waist；　a　movement　that　was　almost　painful。　Then　his　newly　free　hand　gripped　my　chin；　held　my　face。　The　touch　of　his　hands；　the　strength　in　them　made　me　hesitate。　One　moment　I　was　staring　into　his　deep　brown　eyes；　the　next；　his　face　was　too　close　and　he　was　kissing　me。
　I　don't　know　what　I　expected；　a　chaste　kiss；　I　think。　It　wasn't　chaste。　He　kissed　me　hard　enough　to　bruise；　hard　enough　to　force　my　mouth　open；　then　he　crawled　inside；　and　I　could　feel　the　muscles　in　his　mouth；　his　jaw；　his　neck　working　as　he　held　me；　explored　me；　possessed　me。　I　should　have　been　angry；　pissed；　but　I　wasn't。　If　he　hadn't　held　me　immobile　I'd　have　turned　in　his　arms；　pressed　the　front　of　my　body　against　his。　But　all　I　could　do　was　taste　his　mouth；　feel　his　lips；　try　to　drink　him　down　my　throat；　as　if　he　were　the　finest　of　wines　and　I　was　dying　of　thirst。
　He　finally　drew　back　from　me；　enough　for　me　to　see　his　face。　I　stared　breathlessly　at　him；　as　if　my　eyes　were　hungry　for　the　sight　of　those　perfect　cheekbones；　the　dimple　that　softened　an　utterly　masculine　face。　There　was　nothing　feminine　about　Richard。　He　was　the　ultimate　male　in　so　many　ways。　The　electric　lights　caught　strands　of　gold　and　copper；　like　metallic　wire　through　the　deep　brown　of　his　hair。
　He　lowered　me　slowly　to　the　ground　from　his　height　of　six　one。　His　shoulders　were　broad；　chest　deep；　waist　tight　and　narrow；　stomach　flat；　with　a　fine　line　of　dark　hair　running　down　the　middle　of　it　and　vanishing　into　the　black　vinyl　pants　he　was　wearing。　More　black　vinyl！　I　was　sensing　a　theme　here；　but　my　gaze　traveled　down　his　body　just　the　same。　Tracing　the　narrow　hips；　lingering　where　I　shouldn't　have　been；　noticing　things　I　wished　I　hadn't；　because　we　were　in　public；　and　I　wasn't　planning　on　seeing　him　naked　tonight。　Knee…high　leather　boots　pleted　his　outfit。　The　only　things　he　was　wearing　on　his　upper　body　were　leather　and　metal…studded　〃bracelets〃　and　a　matching　collar。
　A　hand　touched　my　back；　and　I　jumped　and　whirled　around；　turning　so　I　could　face　them　both；　because　I　knew　who　was　behind　me。　Jean…Claude　stood　there；　eyes　having　bled　back　to　normal。
　I　finally　found　my　voice。　〃You　called　him。〃
　〃We　had　an　arrangement　that　whoever　you　called　first　would　contact　the　other。〃
　〃You　should　have　told　me；〃　I　said。
　Jean…Claude　put　his　hands　on　his　hips。　〃I　am　not　taking　the　blame　for　this。　He　wished　to　be　a　surprise；　against　my　wishes。〃
　I　looked　at　Richard。　〃Is　that　true？〃
　Richard　nodded。　〃Yes。〃
　〃Why？〃
　〃Because　if　I'd　played　fair　I　still　wouldn't　have　gotten　a　kiss。　I　couldn't　stand　the　thought　of　seeing　you　tonight　and　not　touching　you。〃
　It　wasn't　so　much　his　words　as　the　look　in　his　eyes；　the　heat　in　his　face；　that　made　me　blush。
　〃I　have　played　you　fair　tonight；　ma　petite；　and　yet　I　am　punished；　rather　than　rewarded。〃　Jean…Claude　held　out　his　hand　to　me。　〃Shall　we　begin　with　a　kiss？〃
　I　was　suddenly　aware　that　we　were　standing　on　the　dance　floor　near　the　metal　framework　and　the　waiting　〃actors。〃　We　had　the　audience's　attention；　and　I　didn't　want　that。　I　realized　something　I　hadn't　with　the　stone　shield　in　place。　Almost　everyone　in　the　room　was　a　shapeshifter。　I　could　feel　their　energy　like　the　brush　of　warm　electric　fur；　and　they　could　feel　ours。
　I　nodded。　I　suddenly　wanted　the　privacy　that　Jean…Claude　had　offered　earlier。　But　staring　from　Jean…Claude　to　Richard；　I　realized　I　didn't　trust　myself　alone　with　them。　If　we　had　a　room　to　ourselves　I　couldn't　guarantee　that　the　sex　would　be　merely　metaphysical。　Admitting　that　even　to　myself　was　embarrassing。　As　unfortable　as　it　was　to　do　what　we　had　to　do　in　public；　it　was　still　better　than　in　private。　Here　I　knew　I'd　say　stop；　anywhere　else　I　just　wasn't　sure。　I　wasn't　thinking　about　the　wereleopards。　I　was　thinking　about　how　large　and　bare　my　skin　felt。　Shit。
　〃A　kiss；　why　not？〃
　〃We　can　get　a　room；〃　Richard　said；　voice　low。
　I　shook　my　head。　〃No；　no　rooms。〃
　He　reached　out　as　if　to　touch　me；　and　one　look　was　enough　to　make　his　hand　drop。　〃You　don't　trust　us。〃
　〃Or　me；〃　I　said；　softly。
　Jean…Claude　held　out　his　hand　to　me。　〃e；　ma　petite；　we　delay　their　show。〃
　I　stared　at　his　hand　for　a　space　of　heartbeats；　then　took　it。　I　expected　him　to　pull　m